#118
Ki Baek-woo cried out desperately. As if there was an absolute reason he needed to stab and wound his thigh, he twisted his body with all his might. Jung Yi-dam stood blankly, watching Ki Baek-woo and grinning. When their eyes briefly met, Ki Baek-woo’s face crumpled miserably.
“What do you want from me, doing this?”
What are you, what do you want from me, what do you gain from doing this to me…! Ki Baek-woo rambled words that others would never understand, like an animal in pain. The words scattered painfully as if he were coughing up blood. Jung Yi-dam, smiling faintly without the slightest hint of emotion. Ki Baek-woo feared this mysterious person. He wanted to kill him. He was scared. He couldn’t bear how much he wanted to kill him right now. It was a new form of fear, completely different from the terror that Lee Han-sol gave him.
Ki Baek-woo had been depressed and miserable throughout. That is, he had always been since Lee Han-sol’s attitude changed. Lee Han-sol, who no longer offered his embrace, made Ki Baek-woo feel the fear of abandonment. From that moment, he couldn’t find even a second of peace. Since Ki Baek-woo was always a defective being who struggled to breathe without Lee Han-sol’s goodwill, he had never been stable from that time until now. It was already an overwhelming anxiety. More than enough to break Ki Baek-woo. That’s why Ki Baek-woo fell apart.
“What the hell are you, really…!”
But Jung Yi-dam was alive and moving in front of him. Ki Baek-woo now knew what he had done to Lee Han-sol. He also knew all too well how it had shattered Lee Han-sol. The devastation he felt afterward, he also experienced vividly while he was dying.
Ki Baek-woo thought he had been to hell. Since they said he went into cardiac arrest, he was certain he had fallen into hell and come back to life. Realizing Lee Han-sol’s death and grasping reality was that horrific. Those were all memories that Ki Baek-woo’s obsession with not wanting to lose Lee Han-sol had dug up from his brain. Because of this, Ki Baek-woo also came to know:
That Jung Yi-dam was at the center of all his tragedy.
Jung Yi-dam’s existence dominated Ki Baek-woo’s mind, manipulated his will at pleasure, and controlled his actions. Something controlled Ki Baek-woo’s feelings toward Lee Han-sol—that is, his entire self and mind—and consumed them for Jung Yi-dam’s sake. It made him believe he loved Jung Yi-dam, who didn’t even care about him, and made him feel as if Lee Han-sol, whom he loved dearly, was nothing. It made him hate, despise, and feel anger toward Lee Han-sol. Or at least, it made Ki Baek-woo feel that way.
Ki Baek-woo was powerless before it. He wanted to know the identity of whatever was playing with him like a puppet. But even after recovering all his memories that he had foolishly forgotten, he still couldn’t understand that one thing. He only knew this:
That Jung Yi-dam already knew everything. That he knew everything and was observing Ki Baek-woo and Lee Han-sol like an audience. That with a disgusting and strange power, he separated Ki Baek-woo from Lee Han-sol, and without permission, imagined, praised, and talked about Lee Han-sol as if he were his own. All the while knowing that Ki Baek-woo couldn’t do anything.
It was chilling. Ki Baek-woo felt an unprecedented fear. He couldn’t even begin to grasp how to express this strange fear he had never felt before. He was torn apart like a rag. Jung Yi-dam, an overwhelming presence, was crushing Ki Baek-woo, who was already broken by anxiety and loss.
What are you, what do you know, you already know everything, tell me, tell me what all this is about! Don’t look at me, don’t look at me with those eyes, don’t stare at me because I want to kill you! Even if you look at me that way, I won’t be fooled anymore. I’ll somehow torment myself with a clear mind. I’ll keep dying until Han-sol hyung forgives me. I won’t let my entire being be destroyed like an idiot because of a demon like you, but by myself, I’ll die until hyung is satisfied. Get lost. Disappear from my sight, I will never, ever…
Ki Baek-woo screamed as if making a promise to himself. He thrashed around, glaring at Jung Yi-dam.
“Hunter Ki, are you crazy? We’re trying to stop you from stabbing your thigh, and now you’re doing this with your hands? Give that here, quickly! Someone take that away from him!”
Team Leader Hwang Ji-young shouted, signaling to her staff. Ki Baek-woo didn’t care about any of that and applied all his strength to his hand gripping the sharp flowerpot fragment. He never knew when Jung Yi-dam might control him. So somehow, he had to do something to stay conscious. That was the only reason Ki Baek-woo stabbed his thigh.
He wanted to fill himself with pain, his body and mind, to leave no room for demonic brainwashing to seep in. Above all, the primal and instinctive body tries to survive by all means when it feels threatened. In the face of pain and threat, humans cannot indulge in thoughts. That’s how survival instinct works. That’s why Ki Baek-woo wanted to threaten and hurt himself. He was desperate.
“Ah! Healer Jung Yi-dam, stay where you are! Don’t come, why are you coming! Hunter Ki’s condition is…!”
At that moment, Jung Yi-dam, who had been watching all the commotion with an unpleasant face, approached. Team Leader Hwang Ji-young, the attending physician, and staff members who were all restraining Ki Baek-woo’s limbs turned pale and shook their heads frantically. Why are you coming! Are you crazy? One crazy person like Ki is enough! Healer Jung, you’ll get hurt, please stop! They all tried to dissuade him, each shouting such things, but Jung Yi-dam paid no attention.
“Gasp, Hunter Ki Baek-woo, why are you suddenly shaking like this? Is it shock? No, is our pharmacy somewhere across the Pacific? Where is Nurse Lee Sun-ah bringing the sedative from that’s taking so long!”
Ki Baek-woo thought Jung Yi-dam approaching him was monstrous. He felt like a massive disaster incomparable to mere destruction. His body trembled like a wet dog from tension, fear, and disgust. His face was flushed bright red with excitement, his body pathetically thin compared to before, his patient gown stained with blood. Jung Yi-dam, standing before the frozen and rigid Ki Baek-woo, slowly looked him over as if amused.
The two confronted each other tensely as if they were alone in the room. Jung Yi-dam tapped Ki Baek-woo’s shoulder lightly with a casual gesture. Then he bent down and put his lips close to Ki Baek-woo’s ear. He whispered in a very small voice.
“I told you.”
“……”
“That Han-sol would save me.”
Me being half-free, you who were stupid becoming a little smarter. All of this happened because Lee Han-sol changed. My god, my angel, my butterfly. The more I think about it, he seems to exist for me…
Jung Yi-dam straightened up, lightly hitting Ki Baek-woo’s cheek with the back of his hand as Ki Baek-woo clenched his jaw. Ki Baek-woo glared at Jung Yi-dam with eyes full of hatred. He gripped the flowerpot fragment in his hand even more tightly. Blood dripped down his wrist. Jung Yi-dam looked at it and grinned again. He opened his peach-colored lips and spoke in a kind tone. Like ‘the original Jung Yi-dam.’
“Hunter Ki, if you put that down, I’ll heal you again. You’re still bleeding because you’re gripping it so tightly… It must be so painful… The other wounds should be healed by now. Please put that down too and let me heal you. Okay?”
At Jung Yi-dam’s soft and gentle tone, Ki Baek-woo glared at him as if looking at filthy waste. While Ki Baek-woo just breathed heavily, heated with anger, Team Leader Hwang Ji-young and the attending physician Dr. Kwak Jun-hyun made a fuss.
“Did you heal him, Healer Jung? Dr. Kwak, roll up those sleeves and check once.”
“Wow, S-class healing abilities are really different. Hunter Ki’s arm and wrist are completely healed? The wrist will have a scar because of the stitches, but well, I did such a beautiful suture that it won’t look too bad even with a scar. Right, Team Leader Hwang?”
“You’re talking nonsense at a time like this. Healer Jung, thank you so much. Hunter Ki keeps reopening his wounds, which has been really troublesome for us.”
Jung Yi-dam curled the corners of his mouth into a smile. The neat beauty with an ascetic impression spoke very kindly toward Ki Baek-woo.
“Hang in there, Hunter Ki. Reflect on your past laziness and ignorance and work hard at whatever it is.”
“……”
“Only by doing your best will you receive an angel’s love and salvation. May we all be saved together.”
My salvation is Hunter Ki’s salvation. Remember that, brother. Amen.
Jung Yi-dam made the sign of the cross like a devout Catholic and turned around. He disappeared outside the hospital room.
“What salvation? Did Healer Jung Yi-dam have a religion? Dr. Kwak, did you know?”
“Of course I didn’t know. But doesn’t all that talk about salvation and love sound a little cult-like? I’m not trying to spread rumors or anything. Ahem.”
Team Leader Hwang Ji-young and Dr. Kwak Jun-hyun whispered, watching the now quiet Ki Baek-woo. Ki Baek-woo sat with his head down, saying nothing for a very long time.
My salvation is Hunter Ki’s salvation.
He kept turning those words over in his mind.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
