#177
“It feels like I’ve been waiting for a whole day… It’s miserable. Han-sol, you’re a cruel human without blood or tears. How could you make me wait until this moment?”
“We followed you as soon as you left, you know? Since when did ten minutes become a day?”
“Don’t you feel sorry for me, having to live through those extra ten minutes?”
Despite his pitiful tone, Jung Yi-dam leaned against the gate core with a crooked posture. His face became more visible as he got closer to the white light of the gate core. An expressionless face as if sculpted, devoid of life. Lee Han-sol saw the shining white gate core beyond Yi-dam.
A special light, incomparably cleaner and more dazzling than any gate core Han-sol had seen before. He sensed it immediately. Yi-dam’s claim that the gate core was connected to the system wasn’t a lie. ‘Destroy the gate core and it’s the ending. Kill me at the same time.’ The words that had been embedded in his mind without any visual image became concrete through his senses. Han-sol swallowed dryly at the reality that washed over him coldly, as if it had been waiting.
This was truly, genuinely the last moment.
He responded, pretending to be unfazed.
“Hey, cut the crap and fix your attitude. You asked to be killed, but are you actually hoping I’ll die instead?”
Yi-dam’s body, which had been stretched out against the gate core, straightened up. The flickering light of the gate core backlit him. Yi-dam, reduced to a pitch-black silhouette, looked like a shadow.
“Despite everything, you still ended up becoming ‘us’ with that guy. You didn’t die. So what does it matter?”
“What does it matter? I knew you were crazy, but you’re talking like this is someone else’s business that you can decide however you want.”
“Now that you’re about to die, you’re getting cold feet. After I obediently die by your hands, you and Ki Baek-woo will love each other forever without any obstacles, hardships, or restrictions. The two of you stuck together eternally. That pissed me off. So I thought I’d try one more time.”
“You’re talking like you have noodles in your head instead of a brain. You’re the one who came looking for me asking to be killed and caused trouble, remember?”
“You’re so unfair. Ugly and greedy. Greedy lumps. It should be enough for you two to just love each other. While I’m this miserable, how could you, Han-sol…”
Jung Yi-dam buried his face in his palms as if he was about to burst into tears, with an agonized expression. Sob, sob, sob… He made such sounds and shook his shoulders. He looked like a heroine from a melodrama. Ughh, huhh, uhhh. The sobbing grew louder, eventually becoming closer to a scream. Huhhh, ahh, ahhhhh! Was he really crying? Just as that doubt arose, Yi-dam abruptly stopped all his actions and raised his head. His barren, arid expression looked brazenly at Han-sol.
“My stomach hurt. So I thought I’d try a bit more. I wanted to see how far that supposedly great, perfect, and sublime love—for which dozens of lives had been sacrificed—could endure, whether it could remain uncracked forever. Wouldn’t that benefit you too? If it doesn’t crack, you’ll happily die in the end, and if it does crack, all three of us will be equally lonely and miserable, which is nice. So I just tried to go back to the original storyline. …Though I failed miserably. And…”
Jung Yi-dam walked steadily toward Han-sol. As the distance closed, Baek-woo immediately stepped in front of Han-sol. Yi-dam’s movement halted. Baek-woo glared at Yi-dam, but Yi-dam didn’t even glance at him. As if looking through Baek-woo’s body to meet the eyes of Han-sol standing behind him, Yi-dam continued speaking.
“The truth is, you’ve probably only thought about Baek-woo every time you died until now. So I thought it wouldn’t be bad for you to die thinking about me just this once. It’s only once, so it’s fine, right?”
“Cut out that disgusting talk.”
Ki Baek-woo, with sharply opened eyes, growled in a low voice. Jung Yi-dam didn’t waver in the slightest.
“But you didn’t die in the end, right? You didn’t die, and you only dumped my already rock-bottom feelings further down the toilet. I just had to watch the fucking scene of you two embracing, soaking in emotion and joy, playing the protagonists.”
That should be enough. It should be sufficient. When I’m so unhappy I feel like I’m going crazy. What are you even confronting me about? What have you ever done for me? Why do you want so much? I’m really sick of it. I’m utterly disgusted.
There was no emotion in Yi-dam’s words. It was a mechanical voice that matched his darkly stained appearance perfectly. He neither intended to push Baek-woo aside to face Han-sol, nor did he plan to step back completely. Instead, he stood there motionless and asked:
“So, are you ready to kill me twice without any compassion for someone as pitiful as me?”
“Yes, fuck! Even if you try to provoke me like that, I’ve been prepared for a long time! I’ll cut you into pieces, so wipe your neck and lie down over there, you psycho bastard!”
Han-sol responded reflexively and violently.
Afterward, he unconsciously gulped, swallowing dryly. As if he were nervous.
Huh?
What’s this feeling all of a sudden? For a moment, he felt a sensation like his fingers and the back of his neck were tingling, as if the inside of his body was trembling subtly. An uncomfortable instability. Similar to moments earlier when he sensed the presence of the destruction that had killed him in the past… But why now? Han-sol hesitated briefly in bewilderment. There was a strange premonition, as if a corner of his solar plexus was about to tighten. The feeling and intuition disappeared before he could identify what it was.
What is this vaguely unsettling feeling? Han-sol’s head tilted involuntarily. Baek-woo, who was watching him, reached out to gently caress his cheek. “Hyung.” At the low call, Han-sol snapped back to his senses.
“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”
“What? Suddenly out of nowhere…? What is it that I don’t want to do?”
Han-sol’s sharp, upturned eyes widened. Baek-woo, who had been staring at him, said:
“I’ll do it.”
“Do what?”
“You stay in front of the core. I’ll handle Jung Yi-dam.”
What is he saying now? Han-sol’s brow furrowed deeply. He swatted away Baek-woo’s hand on his cheek and pushed his shoulder. With a thud, Baek-woo obediently stepped back a couple of paces.
“After coming all this way, are you making a suicide declaration to me now?”
After hearing everything Jung Yi-dam said, what nonsense are you suddenly spouting? Didn’t you hear he said you can’t kill him? Didn’t you hear that only I can kill him without any issues!
Baek-woo didn’t say anything in response to Han-sol’s hysterical reaction. His attitude was stoic. Huh, a sharp, hollow laugh followed. Han-sol stubbornly pressed his lips together. You said you wanted to be in my future. You said we should forget everything broken and fill it anew. He even felt betrayed.
“How long do I have to wait? How long are you two going to keep chattering?”
Jung Yi-dam, who had been sitting improperly near the gate core watching them, abruptly cut in. Han-sol burst out:
“Who said I won’t kill you? I’ll kill you! When I’m saying I’ll kill you, why are you both testing me and making a fuss!”
Han-sol, who had been glaring at Baek-woo while breathing heavily, swiftly turned his body. His steps toward Jung Yi-dam were rough, as if they would make a thundering sound. After watching his back until the end, Baek-woo eventually stood in front of the gate core too. It was time for each of them to fulfill their assigned roles.
Han-sol kills Jung Yi-dam, and Baek-woo destroys the core the moment Yi-dam takes his last breath.
After that, everything would be over.
“Yes, the end.”
Han-sol looked down at Jung Yi-dam, who was sitting casually with his back against the wall. The end of this tiresome cycle that he had longed for. If I just endure this, it’s really over. I won’t have to see this filthy sight anymore. Han-sol, who had clenched and unclenched his fist, grabbed Yi-dam’s collar and lifted him up. Hehe, Yi-dam laughed with a perverted grin. He asked:
“Isn’t it fun?”
A question without any context. These guys really… Han-sol’s brow wrinkled terribly. Baek-woo and Yi-dam, why are they both saying random things in succession? Yi-dam stared intently at Han-sol’s small, sharp face, as if observing it. Then he laughed again, hehe. Despite having such a clear expression, it was a cold face that didn’t feel like a living person at all.
“Isn’t it really fun that for you to live, I have to die, and if I die, you live?”
“Sitting there talking crap. Still spouting nonsense until the end.”
Han-sol irritably threw away Yi-dam’s limp collar. Yi-dam, who fell backward without any resistance, was like an elaborate mannequin. Han-sol quickly sat on his sprawled body. Yi-dam’s eyes, gleaming even darker in the shadows, stared at him persistently.
“It’s a beautiful tragedy that only exists in novels. I mean us… Don’t you think?”
“How far gone are you? Compared to you, even Baek-woo seems normal.”
“Do you think you and Baek-woo are destined…? No. Actually, you and I might have a more tenacious fate. Think about it.”
The fact that we inevitably came this far. Even confronting the system, which is like the world itself, doing something this extraordinary… It was possible because it was the two of us. It wouldn’t have worked without either one of us. The current you was made by me, and I by you… We created each other. This is inevitability. Han-sol, you’re just too ignorant to know it…
“Shut up!”
Han-sol panicked and pushed away Yi-dam’s hand that was somehow caressing his cheek. The reddish flush, the sticky touch that was closer to rubbing. Fighting back the nausea rising at the prim face that seemed to be seducing him, Han-sol reached for Yi-dam’s neck. As his hand touched the soft neck, Yi-dam gently closed his eyes. He whispered sweetly:
“Make me shut up yourself…”
“You perverted bastard…!”
Die, you son of a bitch!
Han-sol bit his lip tightly as he applied pressure to the hand wrapped around the neck.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
