What Kind of Relationship (5)
I hadn’t noticed earlier due to being distracted, but my house seemed messier than I remembered. Or maybe it was because I had rummaged through everything while packing. When we first entered, it had been somewhat presentable.
In the midst of this chaos, I found myself glancing at Sa Hae-geon standing beside me. I wondered if it was okay to show my house to someone with such meticulous tendencies, but since Sa Hae-geon had insisted on coming, I figured he’d have to deal with it himself.
‘Well, surely he won’t gag or shudder…’
It was entirely possible, but I deliberately denied the reality. Contrary to my expectations, Sa Hae-geon just scanned my house with interest without making any comments. Perhaps his fastidious nature had dulled a bit while staying with me.
Sa Hae-geon’s reaction was good enough to give me a vague sense of hope.
“Want to look around while I pack my clothes? There’s not much to see though.”
“Yes. I’d like that.”
Watching the back of Sa Hae-geon’s head as he eagerly responded, I headed to the dressing room. After rummaging through the disorganized dressing room, I managed to find a few pieces of clothing to sleep in. Unlike Sa Hae-geon, I wasn’t the type to wear proper “pajamas,” so these were just outfits I used to wear outside that had become indoor clothes as their condition deteriorated.
However, they were far more normal and ordinary than the clothes Sa Hae-geon had prepared. They were also comfortable to sleep in. As I left the dressing room with suitable clothes, I saw Sa Hae-geon sitting on the sofa, looking at some album.
“…What are you doing there? What are you looking at?”
“An album.”
“What kind of album?”
I walked towards the sofa to see what album Sa Hae-geon was looking at.
“Ah, it’s Cream’s album.”
What Sa Hae-geon held was an album of photos I’d taken of Cream whenever she looked cute. I’d taken so many photos that at some point, it exceeded a hundred, so I bought an album to organize them. After all that fuss, I’d forgotten about it when work got busy, and now it had been rediscovered in Sa Hae-geon’s hands.
Sitting next to him and looking at the album after so long brought back memories. There were photos of Cream looking oddly young despite being almost the same size as now, photos of her glaring at me with an irritated face, and photos of her happily eating snacks.
“She’s cute.”
“…Yes. She’s cute.”
Somehow, it felt like Sa Hae-geon’s gaze was on me as he said that, but thinking it might be my imagination, I just let it go. And even if it wasn’t my imagination, there wasn’t much to make of it.
In the end, I returned to Sa Hae-geon’s house with not only pajamas but also Cream’s album. Cream, whom I thought would be sprawled out sleeping, came out gracefully upon hearing the front door. Her small face was full of sleepiness.
“Chae Cream, did you sleep well? Look at those eye boogers. You slept soundly, didn’t you?”
After touching her golden field-like luxurious fur, I shoved the album in front of her nose.
“Cream, look at this. What’s this?”
Cream was completely uninterested in inanimate objects unless they were treats, toys, or her favorite dolls, so she sniffed it a few times and turned away. But I persistently followed her, showing her the open album.
“It’s you, you. It’s your photos, Cream. Do you remember this time?”
Cream, who had been running away from me pretending not to hear, hid behind Sa Hae-geon’s back. Her tail was raised high as if she thought we were playing tag.
“Oh? You think we’re playing? Who did you take after to be so cute? Hm? How long are you going to be this cute?”
When I crouched in front of Sa Hae-geon and spoke to her, Cream flopped down and exposed her belly. She seemed to be in a very good mood, responding well today. As I was touching Cream’s soft belly, I raised my head, feeling a gaze from somewhere.
Sa Hae-geon was standing still, looking at me. After quietly staring at each other for a moment, Sa Hae-geon and I spoke at almost the same time.
“We should… eat dinner.”
“Right. I need to shower.”
Cream, lying on the floor, alternately watched us moving in different directions, then yawned widely and rolled around.
As I was showering without much thought, my father’s words from earlier crossed my mind.
‘Be honest, be honest. If you get into the habit of hiding too much, you’ll live a tiring life forever. Live comfortably, son.’
And Sa Hae-geon’s words also came to mind.
‘How about living together instead of confinement?’
‘If you were worried about being confined forever, we could live together instead of confinement, right?’
It was still an absurd idea even thinking about it again, but strangely, it was difficult to just laugh it off. …Living together. Yes, while it’s difficult for an unpaired Guide and Esper to live together, Sa Hae-geon and I had already been getting along well.
Of course, it was a bit different as it had been under the pretext of confinement. The issue of living together is actually possible if I’m okay with it. I don’t know anyone else, our lifestyles aren’t incompatible, and above all, Sa Hae-geon’s cooking is delicious.
I sighed as I turned off the shower. Before living together, I’d need to address the issue of emotional synchronization, which was still troubling me. Moreover, although I pretended not to know, Sa Hae-geon’s words from the early days of confinement also bothered me.
‘And I have no intention of apologizing for grabbing your wrist. You grabbed mine too, didn’t you? Though you don’t seem to remember.’
It was something completely absent from my memory. What if the person Sa Hae-geon remembered wasn’t me? What if he had mistaken me for someone else, declared his love, and kidnapped me on his own?
Thinking of such possibilities made it difficult to make a quick decision about living together. In fact, even without these issues, I had attempted to escape to avoid getting headaches over matters related to Sa Hae-geon.
Not only that, but there’s also the nuance that the term “living together” implies, isn’t there? It’s not just about being housemates, but something more subtle and sweet. Considering that aspect makes the decision even harder.
Should I be honest as my father said? Is it better to just dive in?
Even if I could honestly discuss emotional synchronization after some mental preparation, living together was a different issue.
‘This really… I can’t give an answer right away.’
It seemed best to first resolve the issues of emotional synchronization and the person in Sa Hae-geon’s memory, then reconsider living together afterward. As my cluttered mind cleared up somewhat, I felt refreshed. I thoroughly dried off and put on the pajamas I’d brought from my house.
They were white cotton T-shirt and black training pants with a plain design, much neater and more ordinary than even the most normal prison uniform. At least they didn’t hurt my eyes, so the clothes felt much more comfortable. As I headed to the kitchen, I saw Sa Hae-geon wearing an apron with a chick with a sprout on its head.
‘How many aprons does he have anyway?’
Thinking I should check someday, I quietly sat at the dining table. But something was odd. Before I escaped, I had seen the table full of delicious foods like pork and kimchi stew and rolled omelette. Given the time, I thought he would reheat those and serve them again, but the table was empty except for rice and soy sauce.
Sa Hae-geon was certainly quick with his hands, and I had taken much longer than usual in the shower due to having a lot to think about. Yet dinner wasn’t ready. Was he planning to cook everything from scratch? But there wasn’t any smell of cooking either.
I looked at Sa Hae-geon with puzzled eyes, and feeling my gaze, he turned around abruptly. He said something shocking to me, who was quietly waiting for the table to be set.
“That’s all for dinner tonight.”
“…What?”
“I said that’s all.”
“What? No, there was kimchi stew and rolled omelette and other dishes. Where did they go?”
“I don’t know.”
As if he hadn’t been crying or acting shy earlier, Sa Hae-geon responded coldly and turned his head away. His face seemed quite upset for a moment… No, but even so, just white rice and soy sauce is a bit much, isn’t it?
Of course, I had upset Sa Hae-geon, but I hadn’t done anything that wrong. From my perspective, wasn’t it a natural action?
“…Oh, okay. I’ll eat well.”
But these were words I couldn’t bring myself to say out loud, so I just decided to quietly accept it. While firmly resolving to seriously and deeply consider living together.
