Unexpected (5)
True. It would be a loss for me to leave this luxurious confinement, if only for Sa Hae-geon’s cooking skills. Except for the occasional odd behavior, he’s good at cooking and housekeeping, clean and tidy – a kidnapper with impeccable qualities that I can hardly criticize.
Moreover, he doesn’t forget that he’s a kidnapper, and he doesn’t try to beautify or rationalize his actions. As an Esper, he doesn’t show off or pretend to cower in front of a Guide, nor does he treat me like a lunchbox or battery behind my back. This is why I can’t help but like this confinement environment.
‘Somehow, it feels like I’m just looking for reasons to keep staying at Sa Hae-geon’s house…’
I found myself laughing at my own rationalizations. Although I had decided to take a month-long vacation, I could leave this place immediately if something felt off.
After dinner, unlike me sitting on the sofa watching TV, Sa Hae-geon was knitting beside me. A light blue knit was gradually taking shape in his large hands. Seeing how well he managed even intricate patterns, he seemed quite skilled.
‘Indeed, Espers who handle water tend to have a delicate side.’
I glanced at Sa Hae-geon’s knitting and carefully reached out my hand towards him. Sa Hae-geon hid his hands behind his back and shook his head. I wondered why he suddenly acted like this when he usually eagerly offered his hand, sometimes even interlocking our fingers.
Perhaps sensing my suspicious gaze, Sa Hae-geon mumbled.
“It’s okay not to do Guiding for a while. Think about your body first.”
“What?”
“I’m used to living without Guiding, so not receiving it for a few days isn’t that hard for me. I’d rather you take care of yourself first.”
…This wasn’t something an Esper who had just experienced Guiding would say. Even Espers accustomed to receiving Guiding always craved and thirsted for it instinctively. It meant that this wasn’t something that should come out of Sa Hae-geon’s mouth, who had endured for a long time without Guiding, relying on drugs.
I stared intently at Sa Hae-geon. His shoulders trembled slightly, perhaps because he was suppressing his natural instinct as an Esper. Sa Hae-geon was firmly holding back his instincts to a degree that was pitiful to watch. As I observed this, I kept feeling strange. It felt like my insides were churning.
If he would just use me solely as a ‘Guide’, it would be easier on both body and mind. Wouldn’t that be a win-win situation and a way to help each other? From the beginning, Sa Hae-geon’s purpose in bringing me here was somewhat different from other kidnappers, but every time I realized this fact in such a direct way, my heart felt unsettled.
I lowered my gaze after staring at Sa Hae-geon’s round back of the head, who had turned away from me at some point and was concentrating on knitting. I should have objected, but I didn’t want to, and at the same time, I had nothing to say in objection. That was all.
* * *
Even after that day, I brought up the topic of training and Guiding over the next two days, but Sa Hae-geon strongly refused, shaking his head whenever I just hinted at it. He would hide in his room whenever the topic of Guiding came up, even though he usually stuck close to me.
Every time this non-argument repeated, I felt perplexed. Even if it wasn’t for mutual benefit, Sa Hae-geon needed to receive Guiding consistently and frequently, so why was he acting like this? Unable to bear it any longer, I grabbed Sa Hae-geon’s wrist as he was about to clear the table after dinner today and said:
“You seem to be forgetting, but you’re in a situation where you need to receive a lot, a lot of Guiding right now. You know that, right?”
As soon as Sa Hae-geon nodded, I sent a wave through his body via his wrist. But Sa Hae-geon gently removed my hand, once again seeming to refuse Guiding.
Wait, didn’t he just nod in agreement to what I said?
“Why? Didn’t you agree?”
“I agreed with what you said, but I didn’t agree to the Guiding just now.”
Sa Hae-geon shook his head and pointed out each detail. Unlike his usual mumbling, he pronounced each word very clearly.
“Oh, right. That was my mistake just now. I apologize. Sorry. But you need to receive all the Guiding you’ve missed, right? It’s important to receive it consistently. Let’s start again from today, okay?”
Despite my kind explanation, Sa Hae-geon remained unmoved. At this rate, my 6-week Guiding plan would all go to waste. …Surely not, but could he be thinking we have a lot of time left? Just in case, I stared at Sa Hae-geon quietly and then clearly pointed out the part he seemed to be misunderstanding.
“Well, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I can’t be confined here forever. So it’s better if you just start receiving Guiding again…”
As I continued speaking, my eyes met Sa Hae-geon’s. When I stopped talking and just stared at him, Sa Hae-geon asked:
“Do you want to leave here?”
Sa Hae-geon’s gaze moved to the shackle around my ankle. The cold look in his eyes was enough to make my blood run cold. I was unknowingly intimidated by Sa Hae-geon’s aura. In other words, I got scared. I maintained silence and then frowned at a sudden doubt.
Wait, a person can’t be confined in someone else’s house forever, right? That’s a serious crime. It’s not like I said anything particularly wrong.
Of course, from Sa Hae-geon’s perspective as the criminal who kidnapped me, my statement could have felt sufficiently unsettling. So I decided to explain the point that made him feel anxious.
“Of course, I don’t mean I want to leave right away. I’m not that heartless. But I have a job, and I clearly have a family, so I can’t stay here forever. That’s why I’m saying this.”
“…”
“And you don’t want to… keep me locked up forever or anything, right?”
As I spoke with a smile, Sa Hae-geon remained silent with his lips tightly closed. As the silence continued, the situation somehow became strange.
Don’t tell me you really thought that? You kidnapped me with the intention of locking me up forever?
“Are you really… not in your right mind?”
I could only mutter in an extremely bewildered voice. Sa Hae-geon didn’t particularly refute my words. Wait a minute. Come to think of it, didn’t Sa Hae-geon kidnap me without a clear purpose? Even after kidnapping me, he didn’t clearly explain or demand why he did it, or what he was trying to gain from this kidnapping.
…No, there was one thing he clearly said in the insane conversation on the first day of the kidnapping.
‘But why did you kidnap me?’
‘Because I like you.’
‘…Is that all?’
‘Yes. Should there be more reasons? Would you prefer multiple reasons? If so, I can come up with some now.’
‘No, that’s not what I mean… So you’re saying you didn’t kidnap me for reasons like wanting a pair, or wanting to date me?’
‘It’s not about being a pair, but I do want to date you.’
And what else did he say? Ah, right. He asked with a shy face:
‘But if I say I kidnapped you because I want to date you, will you date me?’
So, while it didn’t really register with me, Sa Hae-geon had a clear and distinct purpose. The purpose of ‘wanting to date’ me. It was quite a different goal from ordinary Espers, so I had completely forgotten about it until now.
So, does Sa Hae-geon intend not to let me go until he achieves his goal of dating me?
“Yes. I’m not in my right mind.”
Look at Sa Hae-geon’s face as he readily admits to not being in his right mind, without changing his expression even at the accusatory words. Isn’t he wearing an innocent and guileless look? I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t say anything and just stared blankly at Sa Hae-geon.
Really, what kind of Esper is this?
“…This is driving me crazy.”
In this absurd and unrealistic situation, all I could say was that I was really going crazy. But at the same time, I suddenly understood all of Sa Hae-geon’s behaviors that I had been dismissing as ‘an Esper impressed by their first Guiding’, ‘an Esper who received Guiding for the first time’, or as eccentricities.
The reason why he kidnapped me, of all the many Guides, despite not knowing even one famous character, the reason why he claimed ownership of my right hand, the reason why he sometimes blushed and smiled shyly, the reason why he cried at my Guiding, the reason why he coldly said that if I knew even a little about his feelings, I couldn’t treat him like this.
If it’s all because he likes me…
The more I pondered over all of this, the more I felt my breath catch and my heart sink.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
