Toward the End (2)
“I don’t have any particular thoughts about it.”
“…Hmm?”
“I mean exactly what I said. I neither dislike nor like it.”
“Really? That’s… unexpected.”
“Why?”
“I thought you’d definitely be uncomfortable.”
Sa Hae-geon shook his head firmly and answered with determination.
“How could I be uncomfortable when I’m with you, hyung?”
“…What?”
“As long as I have you, I’m fine. So that kind of question doesn’t mean much to me.”
Sa Hae-geon spoke in a calm tone, then rested his head on my shoulder with a soft thud. His hair moved, releasing the same scent as mine. I smelled the familiar fragrance lingering at the tip of my nose, then deliberately squeezed Sa Hae-geon’s hand that was holding mine, pretending not to notice.
I thought I heard him laugh softly, but my heartbeat was too loud for me to hear clearly.
The bus heading to Chungcheongnam-do, where a dungeon with suspected volcanic terrain had appeared, grew increasingly quiet as time passed. Only occasional noises from the bus bumping over uneven roads and the soft conversations of ability users who hadn’t yet fallen asleep could be heard. Sa Hae-geon, perhaps because he had slept well the previous night, was staring at me with wide-awake eyes. His gaze was so intense it felt burdensome, so I quietly asked him:
“What?”
“Aren’t you sleepy, hyung?”
“No. Not really sleepy.”
At my answer, Sa Hae-geon made an enigmatic expression, then patted his left shoulder that was touching mine.
“Lean on me if you’re uncomfortable.”
“I’m not uncomfortable. I’m fine.”
He looked at me as if that couldn’t be true and whispered near my ear.
“Is your waist okay?”
“My waist? Why…?”
I suddenly clamped my mouth shut mid-sentence, and Sa Hae-geon gave a meaningful smile. Belatedly realizing what he was implying with his question, I turned away with a hot face, avoiding his gaze.
Recalling yesterday’s events not only made my face flush but also caused a deep, dull pain in my waist. I straightened my stiff back and rubbed around my spine with my left hand. What had happened between Sa Hae-geon and me yesterday remained vividly clear in my mind. Even without trying to recall it, the memories surfaced unbidden, stirring chaotically in my head.
Sa Hae-geon’s frowning face visible through my wavering vision, his tensed jaw and lips pressed together in concentration. Those obscene images appeared clearly before my eyes. My body had just helplessly swayed to his movements. In that moment of joining our bodies, Sa Hae-geon and I had shared our breaths, gazes, and pulses that beat violently as if being chased by something.
Of course, I hadn’t properly witnessed the end of it since I had fallen asleep from exhaustion. Both embarrassingly and thankfully, Sa Hae-geon had cleaned my sleeping body and even prepared nourishing food. And quite ironically, in those moments, I felt a fuller and greater love from Sa Hae-geon than at any other time.
As I silently rubbed my waist, Sa Hae-geon, observing me from the side, asked in a concerned voice.
“Hyung, are you really okay?”
“…Huh? Yeah.”
I answered vaguely and lowered my hand from my waist. Sa Hae-geon looked at me suspiciously but didn’t add anything or press me further about whether I was really okay. We held hands in silence, killing time. The occasional sounds of others talking also faded as time passed.
Before we knew it, Sa Hae-geon and I had naturally fallen asleep with our heads together. The bus was shaking quite roughly, perhaps due to the rough road, which gradually woke me up. Only after the drowsiness gradually cleared from my consciousness could I finally lift my heavy eyelids. After rolling my eyes briefly, I raised my left hand to gently push Sa Hae-geon’s head resting on top of mine, but he exhaled painfully and pressed even closer to me.
The weight on top of my head felt several times heavier. I tried to endure the weight of his head, but as the back of my neck grew increasingly stiff, I grabbed it and urgently tried to wake Sa Hae-geon.
“H-Hae-geon, wake up.”
Either he was deeply asleep or there was no response from Sa Hae-geon. As it was becoming unbearable to support his weight, my voice grew more urgent than before. I also squeezed his hand that was holding mine.
“H-Hae-geon.”
At that moment, Sa Hae-geon’s left hand that was touching mine twitched. Had he finally woken up?
“Hae-geon…?”
“Yes.”
A soft answer came from above my head. His voice was completely clear, without a trace of drowsiness. It was so clear that I suspected he might have been awake all along.
“You’re heavy.”
Instead of giving a proper response, Sa Hae-geon immediately straightened his back. Then he pulled my head with his right hand and dropped it onto his shoulder. With my head awkwardly resting on his shoulder, I asked.
“Hae-geon, weren’t you sleeping?”
He leaned his head on top of mine and answered quietly.
“No.”
“Don’t tell me you were pretending not to hear me while you were awake?”
“I never pretended not to hear.”
“Then?”
“I just stayed still because I didn’t want to separate from you, hyung.”
I couldn’t say anything in response to this astounding answer. How was that any different from pretending not to hear? When I didn’t say anything, Sa Hae-geon, who was watching me cautiously, asked.
“Was I very heavy?”
“Um… not very, just a little.”
Sa Hae-geon laughed softly and squeezed my hand. Then he whispered an apology like a breath and lightly kissed my hair. My slight annoyance melted away at his apology.
After driving for another hour, the bus stopped at a parking lot at the entrance to a hiking trail. The ability users, now awake, began to get off the bus one by one. Sa Hae-geon and I also disembarked among the line of ability users. After checking if anyone remained on the bus, Myeong Si-yeong and Woo Jae-dam, who were the last to get off, stood in front of us.
Just as Woo Jae-dam was about to speak, the strategy support team’s vehicle, which had been following the bus, entered the parking lot with perfect timing. As the car stopped, the support team Espers rushed over to join us.
Woo Jae-dam, who had paused briefly, continued speaking to us.
“The dungeon gate is expected to form at the summit around 12 PM. We need to arrive on time, so let’s move quickly. Since this is the hiking trail closest to the summit, the climb shouldn’t take too long.”
“Yes.”
After responding to Woo Jae-dam’s instructions, we followed him onto the hiking trail. The trail, supposedly the closest to the summit, was a series of steep and rough paths. Rocks situated throughout the trail and exposed thick tree roots created an eerie atmosphere.
At the beginning of the hike, both Espers and Guides chatted with each other, but as time passed, only gasping breaths and complaints about how much further we had to climb remained. The rough breathing sounds were mostly from the Guides. I too regretted not exercising more regularly as I moved my legs that felt as heavy as stones.
Unlike me, Sa Hae-geon, who was gently pushing my waist from behind, didn’t make a single sound of exertion. How could he be so unfazed even while carrying a large backpack? It seemed possible not just because of the Espers’ characteristic robust stamina, but also because he was someone who exercised consistently. Even other Espers’ breathing had become quite rough, like the Guides’.
Well, that’s probably why, unlike me who lost consciousness after ejaculating once, he could wash me and prepare a meticulous dinner afterward.
After climbing for about twenty more minutes, we were able to reach the summit. A sign saying “Summit,” a stone monument with Chinese characters, and several benches informed us that we had safely arrived at the peak.
The team members, sprawled across benches and the ground alike, caught their breath and looked at Woo Jae-dam and Myeong Si-yeong with resentful eyes.
“Huff, huff. You said this was the, huff… trail closest to the summit.”
“Yes. That’s why we arrived early. How can Espers be so dramatic?”
Myeong Si-yeong shook his head, and Woo Jae-dam checked his wristwatch and said what he needed to say.
“It’s 11:43. Let’s catch our breath, watch the gate open, and then enter.”
“Hey, aren’t you two, huff… tired at all? Is it because you’re young?”
“What? Are we the only ones who aren’t old?”
The older Espers exchanged self-deprecating remarks as they caught their breath. I sat on a bench at the edge with Sa Hae-geon and gasped for breath that felt like it was rampaging in my lungs. My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might actually burst. I even thought I might end up vomiting either my heart or lungs at this rate.
Moreover, the dull pain in my waist left from my night with Sa Hae-geon was also one of the factors making me uncomfortable. As I turned my gaze away from Sa Hae-geon, who was looking at me with concerned eyes, I made eye contact with Woo Jae-dam, who was watching us. Woo Jae-dam looked back and forth between Sa Hae-geon and me, then shrugged and turned away.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
