Chapter 52
The man in a neat and clean suit that somehow gave off a uniform-like feeling was a good-looking, attractive type, but strangely had a vague impression.
He might have been the person who brought condoms to the hotel room, or the person who was waiting to drive when we came out after dining at ‘Fiano’. With that thought, it felt awkward to look him straight in the eye. I awkwardly accepted the flower bouquet.
The man, who didn’t even offer congratulations on his behalf, bowed once more and silently left.
After the door lock automatically engaged, Hyunsoo and I looked at each other as if we had made an appointment.
“What was that about, that person? He came like the wind and disappeared like the wind.”
I laughed briefly in agreement with Hyunsoo’s puzzled muttering and unconsciously lowered my face to smell the flowers. A bright and soft fragrance rose from the bouquet where various types of flowers were harmoniously arranged.
We agreed to meet after work, so he could have given them directly then. Maybe he sent the flowers in advance, worried that someone else might beat him to it.
If it had been me just a few hours ago, I would have chuckled at such thoughts. But now, from Bangkok until now, I couldn’t even tell what he was thinking when he was with me.
“That… who sent it? That person didn’t look like a flower delivery employee.”
Standing next to me as I searched the kitchen for a bottle to put the flowers in, Hyunsoo asked curiously.
There was no way a flower vase would exist in accommodation where we lived with only basic necessities. What I eventually found in the storage cabinet were two tall tumblers.
“From Italy… I think a friend I used to know sent it. I ran into him by chance at an event venue recently.”
It was a lie I had hastily made up to Jaewoo when I encountered him again at the Knox Hotel event venue and moved to an upstairs room. A friend I used to know from Italy. The thought that this was no longer a lie made me let out a hollow laugh.
“Must be a wealthy friend.”
“Uh… seems that way.”
I put the small card envelope stuck between the flower petals in my back pocket and spread the bouquet on the narrow counter. Meanwhile, Hyunsoo took out a can of beer from the refrigerator. Leaning against the refrigerator and drinking beer, he spoke in a grumpy tone.
“Once, I was called to a drinking session after getting someone’s contact… Most of the faces there were people seeing each other for the first time. Well, most drinking sessions are like that. While we were drinking heavily, some guy said yesterday was his birthday. Another guy who heard that story called somewhere and had cake and champagne brought right away. It was around 1 AM at that time. I think he was the son or grandson of some school foundation chairman…”
Hyunsoo, who seemed quite displeased with that person, even mixed in some curse words while badmouthing him, then took another refreshing gulp of beer and continued.
“Anyway, he went to university abroad too, and even there he lived with a housekeeper and driver. Ha, I thought only chaebols lived like that. He has American citizenship too, but if he’s American, he should go live in America – I don’t know why he comes to Korea to make all his money.”
Working in this industry naturally provided many opportunities to encounter wealthy people. Starting from those invited to luxury brand event venues, most were tremendous tycoons or their children. It wasn’t difficult to meet people who had already achieved social success before turning thirty.
Among them, there were certainly people with truly outstanding abilities, but it was hard to deny that the strong economic support that allowed them to receive better education in better environments was the foundation of those abilities.
I didn’t know if he was a foreign national by citizenship, but I thought he would probably be classified by Hyunsoo as ‘someone who lives an easy life because he was born to good parents.’ Perhaps even I could become an object of resentment for Hyunsoo. Even though I was adopted, my mother had given me complete love, and it was true that I grew up without economic hardship.
When I placed one of the two tumblers on the dining table, Hyunsoo walked over to the dining table and examined it from various angles for a while as if looking at some curious object.
“There are many poor people in the world, but there are really many rich people too. Right?”
I put the cut stems and bouquet wrapping paper in the trash and looked back at Hyunsoo. He was touching the flower petals with a bitter expression. It was closer to talking to himself rather than expecting an answer from me.
We weren’t close enough to know each other’s family circumstances in detail. But I knew that the reason Hyunsoo diligently made rounds to business venues that didn’t suit his personality wasn’t just to buy luxury clothes.
“Do you have filming today?”
The words I managed to bring up to change the subject were merely inadequate.
“How did you know?”
I noticed because unlike his usual outings where he dressed somewhat provocatively, he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but I didn’t bother to say it out loud. Meanwhile, Hyunsoo threw the empty beer can into the recycling bag and continued.
“It’s just a minor role close to an extra, but today I have one line of dialogue. Though it might get cut during editing.”
The guy who smiled bitterly went to the front door, sat down, and started putting on his Converse sneakers.
I too had to go through auditions and minor roles like Hyunsoo now before my official debut. But at the point where I was cast in <Eternal Night>, saying such things to him wouldn’t be any comfort at all.
“Today will probably be overnight filming.”
“I’ll probably be out in the morning to meet a friend and won’t be home either.”
“From morning? Ah… that hyung who runs that sea bream or tuna restaurant.”
Taeyoon’s restaurant <Dom> wasn’t named after sea bream, but there was no need to explain that separately.
“Later… someone might come to the accommodation briefly. Would that be okay?”
He stopped tying his shoelaces and looked back with wide eyes. It was understandable that he’d be puzzled since I’d never brought anyone before. Whether I’d meet him after work as planned – everything was unclear now, but it seemed better to ask for understanding in advance just in case.
“They’ll just be in my room briefly and then leave, but since you live here too, I thought I should ask.”
Hyunsoo shook his head and started tying his shoelaces again.
“Why ask about every little thing like that? As long as they don’t come into my room, I don’t care.”
Hyunsoo’s old sneakers suddenly caught my eye. Hyunsoo couldn’t tie shoelaces properly. The bow was always backward. Someone probably didn’t teach him how to tie them properly when he was young.
“At times like this, hyung really seems like a prince. It makes me think this is what home education is… There’s no one like hyung around me.”
The guy who stood up from the floor seemed embarrassed by what he said and laughed while scratching the back of his neck. I was about to turn around after watching his back as he unlocked the door when Hyunsoo’s voice grabbed my shoulder.
“Hyung, about this role…”
“Huh?”
When I turned around, he was holding the half-open door and looking at me. Then he soon smiled and shook his head.
“Never mind. Even if you become a superstar, don’t forget your roommate from the difficult times.”
Then he disappeared outside the door without any lingering attachment.
Holding the remaining tumbler and standing awkwardly, I turned and went back to my room. I put the flowers on the table I used as a desk and looked down at the floor.
The opened box, note, and phone remained there as they were.
I went back to the kitchen and got the half-remaining bottle of wine and a glass. It was impossible to gather courage while completely sober.
I leaned against the wall, slid down, and sat on the floor, taking out the card from my back pocket. Only after taking a couple of sips of wine did I open the envelope. What was written on the small card, half the size of my palm, was definitely his handwriting.
Congratulations on the casting.
Let’s watch the first episode’s broadcast together. (If you don’t have a schedule then)
See you later. I’ll come as quickly as possible.
If it had been a few hours ago, I surely would have been grinning while looking at these three lines. I might have playfully teased him via message, saying flower delivery was too cliché an event.
I put down the card and accessed email on my phone. I slowly typed that familiar email address in the recipient field. Just that alone made my heart start beating violently. I stared at the blinking cursor in the content field while continuously emptying my wine.
My head was still unsettled. But if I was going to leave the situation as it was, I would have to contact him immediately to cancel today’s appointment, or meet him in this state and pretend not to know.
I didn’t want either option and didn’t have confidence to endure it. So I had to let him know. That I now remembered too.
Hello.
It’s been 7 years.
No… since I saw you yesterday, has it been a day?
You recognized me, didn’t you?
Don’t you resent me? Or are you still resenting me while being by my side?
I’m scared to hear the answer.
Sometimes the content extended to over twenty lines. Thinking it was pointless talk, I deleted everything and repeated rewriting dozens of times.
The wine I was drinking ran out, so I took out new wine from the kitchen cabinet. I had to drink two more glasses of wine to squeeze out the courage to press send.
In my memory, he was always in jeans and a t-shirt, looking at me with a shy smile.
His earlobes and face used to turn red easily, and his lips trembled when we first kissed. I still vividly remembered comforting him with clumsy knowledge when he was confused about his orientation.
That such a young man would grow into a man who boldly seduced me, lectured me about the dangers of sex without contracts, and openly expressed his desire not to lose me…
Even when I tried to read the script, it wouldn’t register. All I had eaten all day was one roll of kimbap, but I wasn’t even hungry. Even drinking wine didn’t make my mind hazy at all.
It was about 30 minutes after sending the email that my phone, which I had unusually set to ring notification sounds, rang.
I just stared blankly at the screen indicating his incoming call, took a sip of wine, and then connected the call.
[……]
There was no sound from the other end of the phone.
Just from that, I could tell he had checked the email and called.
Only the sound of dry lips parting as if to say something and faint sighs continued thinly.
After a long while, he broke the silence with what seemed like an inhaling breath.
[Suddenly… how did you know?]
I answered while fiddling with the memo he had left in Bangkok.
[The email address you gave me in Paeli, I kept it all along.]
[……]
[The note you left in Bangkok too.]
A moan escaped from him that felt like slowly stabbing a very deep wound. At that moan that made me feel pain too, I frowned and added with difficulty.
[That those addresses matched each other… I found out today.]
Silence continued again. We were straining all our senses, trying to find even a slightly more positive feeling from each other.
Would it have been easier to convey emotions if we were right in front of each other? While biting my lower lip with such regret, I heard his sigh once more. I felt as if light breath touched my hair and forehead.
[……I’m in front of your house now.]
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
