Chapter 48
After emptying about a third of my beer, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I leaned against the refrigerator and fell into thought for a moment. Come to think of it, it had been quite a while since I thought about that child.
It was now a memory that had become faint and faded, remaining only as vague images like most sections painted over with pastels. However, among them, some impressive scenes maintained their clear outlines without wearing away, like patterns carved in relief on stone slabs.
How much do memories match reality? Hadn’t I beautified my own experiences, making them more beautiful and touching, adding flesh to them? Or had I come to have memories that were filtered out, transformed, and reconstructed? I was no longer confident.
It was a contradictory memory for me – one I didn’t want to remember too vividly, yet at the same time hoped wouldn’t fade.
I put down the can with remaining alcohol in the sink. I entered the leftmost room that had become my private room after sharing it with Hyunsoo. Sitting on the floor, I reached into the space between the bunk bed and the floor, feeling around. I wasn’t someone with a meticulous personality who took care of trivial things well, but I still gathered and kept the really important things.
I pulled out the rectangular paper box I had received when buying new sneakers and placed it on the table. What I had collected for over four years since coming to Korea didn’t even fill half the box, and even that was all jumbled together. The box from before I came to Korea remained in my room in Paeli.
A note folded in half at the very top easily caught my eye. It was the memo he had left in the hotel room in Bangkok.
At the time, I had only confirmed that the memo’s content was an email address but hadn’t read the account. Whether the desired account was already being used by someone else, or because special characters were inserted in unnatural positions, it took some time to figure out the account’s meaning.
“In the beginning.” In the beginning.
Laughing lightly at the email address composed of rather grandiose words, I this time pulled out his business card from the box.
The email listed on the business card used Knox’s domain. The address left in Bangkok had a different domain, but the account similarly included “in the beginning.” I thought it was somewhat unusual that he put personality into his business email as well, and carefully put the memo and business card back in the box.
The possibility that the man who had just brought me to my accommodation might be that child from the past. Even thinking about it again, it was an imagination unlike me.
In my memory, that child was closer to being endlessly boyish rather than a young man. His appearance, his eyes, even his cautiously exhaled breath… everything was unripely green, so I couldn’t even picture well what that child would look like as a fully mature adult man in his late twenties.
Regardless of the possibility, since it came to mind, I intended to compare them just for fun. It wasn’t such a difficult task anyway.
Since it was Sunday, it happened to be Ian’s day off. Looking at the desk clock, it was a little past 3 PM. It was 7 AM in Paeli. If I knew Jeong Ian, he would sleep in until 10 or 11 on a holiday morning.
There was nothing urgent at all. I sent a message asking him to contact me when he woke up, and from then on, I focused on filming.
I accessed my email, skimmed through the materials briefly, then connected the printer and printed out the script. It was a scene where ‘Lee Su’, who believes himself to be a half-vampire half-human, thinks the male protagonist ‘Jeongseol’ is human and warns him not to approach ‘Hwaye’ anymore.
I set up a tripod on the table, fixed my phone, and stood in front of the white wall opposite. It was where Hyunsoo’s desk used to be when we shared the room, piled with all sorts of miscellaneous items like clothes, audition scripts, and lighters he’d picked up outside.
It didn’t go well at first. I monitored the footage and continuously improved the facial angles, eye direction, breathing, and so on. Angrily, or sarcastically, or in a completely emotionally suppressed businesslike tone… filming greedily in various versions, it seemed like this would go on endlessly. It was time for someone else’s objective judgment.
About 30 files of roughly 3 minutes each had been saved in my phone’s photo album at some point. I selected a few good ones and sent them to the director-level manager at the company. The screen seemed a bit dark, probably because it was filmed under home lighting. Depending on the director’s feedback, I thought I might need to move to the company’s practice room for re-filming if necessary, and picked up the water bottle on the table.
“……”
The bottle was already empty. Come to think of it, I was hungry. Before that, I wanted to have a strong espresso first.
The clock hands were already indicating past 7 PM. It was after dedicating over four hours straight to filming.
Once I became conscious of the passage of time, I felt completely drained. I left the room, poured water into cup noodles, and extracted a double espresso from the capsule coffee machine. After finishing the coffee while standing, I finally felt like I was coming back to my senses.
I plopped down at the dining table and checked my messages while waiting for the noodles to cook.
In the meantime, three messages had arrived from Team Leader Lee Han and one from Ian. My finger automatically touched his message window first.
《This is why I try not to bring people home whenever possible.》
Looking at the time, it seemed like a message sent shortly after arriving home. There was no explanation about the context, but I could roughly guess what he wanted to say.
Imagining his lonely face chasing away visions of me in the dining room, bedroom, or bathroom… I was smiling.
The next message had arrived about 30 minutes after the first one.
《I’ll go back to my main house and work. Contact me when you have time.》
After finishing the message pretending to be matter-of-fact, he added another message about 10 minutes later.
《It would be even better if you deliberately made time to contact me. I’ll wait.》
He was a somewhat unusual type of person.
While openly showing his anxiety about losing me, he wasn’t servile or pathetic. He was different from people who worry about becoming shabby in the process of trying to make someone they’re attracted to into a romantic partner, calculating pride and weighing the frequency of contact.
That said, he didn’t push to the point of being troublesome either. When I made an opening, he smoothly approached exactly that much. Instead, he didn’t leave enough room for me to escape. He came close enough that our breath could touch, pressing in tightly.
It perfectly matched the way his penis entered inside me.
He doesn’t try to force it open. With patience, he carefully observes reactions and pushes in only as much as it opens. Then, at the moment he judges that I’ve completely opened up, he sharply captures an instantaneous change that even I don’t perceive, and deeply penetrates with a thrust that takes my breath away.
I suddenly felt a chill. At the same time, a heavy ache spread between my legs. Ridiculous – getting aroused just from recalling his insertion method.
Rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment, I moved to Ian’s message window.
Ian’s contact had surprisingly arrived around 5 PM. The content was asking me to call anytime. I first finished the cup noodles and then called him. The call finally connected just when I was about to hang up.
[Hyung!]
At his bright and healthy voice, I smiled silently and leaned back loosely against the backrest.
[What are you doing? Are you home?]
[I’m on Ischia Island right now.]
My younger brother had taken a day off tomorrow, Monday, and was on a short 2-night 3-day trip since yesterday. He was planning to help with the shortage of staff at ‘Mio palazzo’ during the peak season throughout the salon’s entire 2-week vacation starting the first week of August, so he had taken a short trip beforehand.
It seemed like several friends were together, but judging by how excited his voice sounded, it seemed like the salon colleague he’d been interested in lately was also on this trip.
[We’ll leave after eating breakfast tomorrow… so I think I’ll arrive home after noon? What’s this about? If it’s urgent, I’ll tell Yui.]
[No, it’s not urgent at all. Contact me again when you get home. Have a good trip.]
After ending the call, there was a contact from the director. The director had narrowed down the five videos to two. However, the production company didn’t allow multiple videos.
I agreed to the director’s suggestion to come to the company first, re-film both videos, and have a meeting. After cleaning up what I’d eaten and hurriedly finishing my preparations to go out, when I left the front door, even the extended summer day was almost setting. The last edge of the sunset was burning its final embers at the edge of the western sky.
I startled and stopped moving as I recalled the image of him standing at the bottom of the stairs waving at me. Even though I hadn’t let him into the house, having to face traces of someone was no different for me than it was for him.
Belatedly realizing that I hadn’t replied to him, I hurriedly took out my phone from my back pocket. While rushing out of the alley we had climbed together, I left a message.
《I’m being good and working hard until hyung contacts me.》
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Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
