Chapter 47
“Oh? Hyung…”
Soon Hyunsoo also spotted me. Hyunsoo’s gaze naturally shifted from me to him. Looking at the guy dressed all in black despite the hot weather, I tried to hide my awkwardness and forced a smile.
“Are you going out somewhere?”
“Yes, someone asked to meet… Didn’t you go to the housewarming?”
“I went. The house was nice. Youngju had reason to brag, right? You should go visit sometime.”
“No thanks, I’m not as broad-minded as hyung. I don’t really want to congratulate others for doing well.”
Even while conversing, Hyunsoo kept glancing at him intermittently. His searching gaze was somewhat rude, making me watch his reaction. He was standing a couple steps away from us, hands shoved in his jeans back pockets, pacing around while looking around the alley that had nothing worth seeing.
Since he was someone with a clear identity, it wouldn’t be impossible to introduce him. He was a hotel-related person, so it wouldn’t be strange to say we met through work, and I had actually encountered him twice at event venues.
But bringing such a person all the way here was a bit strange, at least not typical behavior for me.
“Oh, hyung, I borrowed your watch. I sent you a message but got no reply, so I just wore it out…”
Hyunsoo lifted his wrist to show the watch under the fluttering black shirt sleeve. It was a luxury wristwatch I’d brought from Italy. Since coming to Seoul, I’d never bought even a single expensive t-shirt, but among the items I brought from Italy, there were quite a few expensive gifts my mother had given me. Hyunsoo sometimes borrowed them when going out.
Usually the guy was fearless to an almost excessive degree, but since he’d worn it out without permission, his face looked dejected as he watched my expression, apparently feeling guilty.
Instead of messing up his carefully styled hair, I touched his cheek like I did with the twins and smiled.
“It’s fine. Just don’t lose it.”
Only then did the guy smile with relief.
“I’ll be back. It’ll be late, so leave the latch open… go to bed first.”
Until the very end, Hyunsoo gave him a sweeping look, nodded to him in greeting, and hurriedly disappeared down the hill we’d just climbed.
I wondered if he might think it rude that I didn’t introduce them. I looked back at him with such concern. But he seemed to have no interest in such things.
“It’ll be late, so go to bed first?”
Instead, he was mulling over the words Hyunsoo had left behind. He seemed displeased about something. I grabbed and pulled the arm of him who was standing looking sourly in the direction Hyunsoo had disappeared.
The alley in front of the dorm, which until a few days ago had always had at least five or six fans loitering around, was completely empty. Due to the narrow gaps between houses creating shadows, the alley was cool and sunless despite the clear weather.
“I thought you were making excuses to keep me from coming because cars can’t get to the front of the house…”
He said while looking around.
The residential area, formed long ago with houses haphazardly built, had developed like a maze. While cars could enter the alleys closest to the roadside, it was impossible to get this far inside. So neighbors had to endure inconvenience when moving.
“This is the house.”
“……”
He carefully looked up at the building I pointed to. It was an old, cozy brick house where four households lived – two on the first floor, and one each on the second and third floors. Among them, we were using the second floor.
The narrow, steep stairs exposed to the outside, the rusty front door that looked flimsy despite being made of iron, the fence beside the stairs that could be jumped over if one wanted to, and the gate through which the interior was visible between the bars… His expression gradually darkened as he looked around at such things.
“You could live in a more comfortable place. This is where someone with a known face lives, but the security here is too poor… no, there’s no security at all.”
“This is the dorm we moved into when I signed with the company, and since there’s nothing particularly inconvenient, I’ve just been living here. There’s been no unpleasant incidents so far.”
The wall built with red bricks was covered with graffiti left by ‘Layered’ fans. They were graffiti close to gags that would make you burst into laughter if you read them. He skimmed through them with a face like he was reading shocking news, then looked back at me.
“Do your family… know? That Jung Jiin-ssi is living here?”
“……”
I took off the sunglasses he was wearing and folded the arms.
It seemed like a question thrown with knowledge of our family’s circumstances. It sounded like he meant, couldn’t your family help you live in a more comfortable place?
But on the other hand, it was something anyone could say. Regardless of asset size, all families would want their sons or brothers to live in safer, more comfortable places.
“It’s better than you think, okay? Now that there are two of us, I have my own room, and that guy from earlier mostly just sleeps at home. There’s no inconvenience at all.”
His eyes narrowed. His lips that seemed to have something to say moved briefly then clamped shut – I thought I was beginning to understand what he wanted to say.
So until now you were sharing a room with someone? That’s roughly what he wanted to say. But he was probably swallowing it, worried he’d look petty if he said it out loud.
To borrow his expression, because he didn’t want me to dislike him. To look good to me.
His emotions were clearly visible like they were displayed in a clean, transparent showcase. If all these words and actions weren’t calculated acting to deceive me, that is.
Someone was coming down from the upper part of the narrow, winding alley, having a pleasant conversation. Though they weren’t visible yet, it was the voices of a young man and woman. I put my hand through the bars to unlock the gate and pulled him inside.
Shock appeared on his face as he looked down at the extremely flimsy locking device. In front of the narrow space paved with cement that couldn’t even be called a yard were stairs leading directly to the second floor.
His stiff expression soon brightened with anticipation. He took another step toward me and grinned. He pressed his lips close to my ear and whispered in a low voice. A young couple who had come down from the upper alley was just passing by the gate, chattering about the restaurant that had been featured on TV last night.
“Are you going to let me inside?”
“It’s not a place where I live alone…”
“You said the younger guys moved out.”
“Besides those guys, there’s also that guy you just saw.”
“Hmm…”
He stepped back half a step from where he’d approached and shut his mouth with a displeased expression. I couldn’t help but smile at his profile showing dissatisfaction as he stared somewhere above the building without looking at me.
“What, you don’t like the situation of me living alone with another man?”
“……”
I thought I might have teased him too harshly this time. To appease him, I held back my laughter and grabbed his right hand.
As if seeing something fascinating, he stared down at my hand holding his.
“Next time. Next time I’ll make plans in advance… I’ll definitely invite you.”
“……”
“You’ll understand, right?”
His gaze slowly traveled up and held my face in his eyes for a long time. Then he exhaled briefly with resignation.
“Being an actor isn’t something just anyone can do.”
After muttering like he was talking to himself, he firmly grasped my hand back. The sensation of long fingers rubbing the back of my hand was ticklish.
“Since it seems like an important day, I’ll behave and go back today. It seemed like a role you want to play… I hope you can definitely get the part. I should cooperate.”
“Thank you for bringing me back. Even without me, have a… good rest of your holiday.”
It was something I hesitated before adding. He seemed pleased by my last words, biting his lip and grinning. Though our plans kept getting canceled contrary to my intentions and I felt uncomfortable, seeing his smiling face made me feel somewhat forgiven.
Even while saying such things, he didn’t let go of my hand even after I stepped onto the stairs. When I climbed the second step, my arm was stretched to its limit, and when I stepped on the third stair, the hand that had been loosely pulling me finally dropped away. I shook my head as if to say I couldn’t help it at such teenage-like behavior, but my face, with my back to him, was smiling.
“Hyung.”
“……”
When I finished climbing all the stairs and was wiping the door lock surface with my hand to enter the password, an unexpected form of address called me. I stopped my hand and looked back.
He was looking up at me with both hands shoved in his jeans back pockets, shoulders slightly hunched.
“To me, hyung who acts looks like a protagonist.”
“……”
“You’ll be able to pass the audition.”
“……”
“I’ll send you a message. Hyung.”
At the end, he deliberately drove the point home by saying ‘hyung’ once more and grinned. Then he raised one hand and waved briefly.
My heart strangely fluttered with a vague sense of déjà vu. Protagonist… the words that I looked like a protagonist felt like they touched something I missed.
The cicada sounds I hadn’t been conscious of until then suddenly permeated my hearing. It seemed like just a few days ago when he first approached me at the hotel bar in Bangkok, but it was surprising that we’d already reached the end of July.
As I’d felt in the car on the way here, there was something about him in jeans that reminded me of Paeli. Hyung. Calling me hyung… I never thought of that. Right. I am indeed a hyung.
“Hurry and go. You’ll be mistaken for a suspicious person.”
I was grateful for his words, but I just responded with a smile. I hoped he would understand my feelings.
I turned around and finished entering the password. Even after entering through the front door, I couldn’t take off my shoes for a while. I too felt the same regret at parting. How long had it been since such emotions flowed into my daily life?
Feeling attraction to someone, and having that person show the same feelings toward me in return. I had truly forgotten for so long this positive function of romantic feelings.
“……”
The smile that had been lingering on my lips suddenly gradually faded.
A very faint clue flashed through my mind. There was one memory I’d buried for quite a while, for quite a long time. Could it be…? The suspicion tried to connect that past with the present.
But the next moment I immediately shook my head and chuckled. I took out a can of beer from the refrigerator and drank it while standing, feeling awkward by myself.
Even I thought it was an overly far-fetched imagination.
Though it was a long time ago, that child in my memory was innocence itself. That was different from being clumsy due to young age. Even at a young age, there were plenty of people who were bold or proactive. But that child couldn’t even make proper eye contact with me. No matter how much time had passed, it didn’t seem like he could have become a man as skilled in seduction as the current him.
Moreover, if that child was the current him, why would he pretend not to know me? If the two were the same person and he wanted to pretend not to know me, he wouldn’t have approached me from the beginning, from Bangkok. Similarly, if he had no intention of pretending, he would have revealed who he was from the start.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
