Chapter 45
“Why on earth would you want to watch this with the person involved right in front of you? You said you don’t have sadistic tendencies. How is this different from sadism?”
“Uh… this isn’t sadism. I don’t want to watch this to torment Jung Jiin-ssi, but purely for my own enjoyment. How often do you get the chance to watch a drama with the starring actor right beside you? I watched up to episode 11 yesterday, and it ended right at a scene I was curious about. Let me continue watching.”
He disrupted my balance as I was kneeling on the bed and knocked me over. Then he quickly climbed on top of my stomach. His thighs looked slender from the outside, but when they actually touched me, their thickness was considerable.
His firm thighs spread in a V-shape from my lower abdomen, his knees pressing into both my armpits and compressing my entire body. I could only lift my neck. He wasn’t even applying force. Rather, he was slightly lifting his body off my stomach so I wouldn’t be crushed. It was more about posture and technique than weight. Though I didn’t know for sure, he seemed to have learned at least basic self-defense skills.
Twisting his upper body toward the TV behind him, he aimed the remote and finally played the video. Then, with a childlike face having gotten what he wanted, he grinned and climbed down from my stomach. Kneeling on the mattress, he pulled my arm to help me sit up, then went to the bed head and leaned against a large cushion.
Sitting in the middle of the bed and adjusting my disheveled robe, I lightly kicked his long legs with my foot.
“Don’t do things like that unless we’re playing.”
“……”
He was reaching into the nightstand drawer to get his glasses when he looked back over his shoulder.
“Using force to pin me down.”
“Ah… sorry. I thought we were just fooling around. I’ll be careful.”
As he put on his glasses and straightened his body, his eyes widened and his expression hardened. I deliberately avoided his gaze as I crawled over to sit beside him.
“It’s not that… if we’re not going to do anything, hmm, don’t touch me like that. It’s stimulating.”
“……”
I buried myself in the large, fluffy back cushion that was piled high. The gaze touching my profile was hot, but I pretended not to notice and crossed my arms while staring straight ahead.
On screen, the me from about half a year ago was fiercely arguing with Yoon Juho. Though there were melodic elements between the female and male leads, it was closer to a coming-of-age drama where two spirited protagonists fought against corporate tyranny.
The role I played was the third-generation owner of a conglomerate family that stole the two protagonists’ business idea and a friend of Yoon Juho’s, who grew distant from Yoon Juho through conflict but ultimately chose to face the corruption of his own company and help the two protagonists – a supporting role with relatively high importance.
The person beside me spoke while staring at the screen.
“You know, for this drama, there were many fans who shipped Yoon Juho and Jung Jiin-ssi as a couple instead of the male and female leads, right?”
“Well… that kind of thing is trendy.”
When did such a busy person have time to search for things like that? He didn’t need to.
Yoon Juho and I on screen, hurting each other with harsh words out of concern for one another, were throwing lines that could easily be interpreted as a romantic relationship if one deliberately viewed it from that angle.
His gaze turning from the screen to look at the real me wasn’t hot this time, but almost stinging. Even so, I pretended not to notice again and didn’t look back.
“You’ve been active for about 4 years since debut, right?”
“……”
“Then have you ever been involved with other actors or celebrities?”
“……”
His voice wasn’t emotional. It was calm. It didn’t seem like he was asking out of lowbrow interest in the private lives of famous people.
I had no choice but to look at him. His expression looking at me was nothing special either. His two eyes gazing at me blinked slowly as usual.
It probably wasn’t something he was saying with knowledge.
Even if I had occasionally been physical with Yoon Juho, I hadn’t betrayed the man in front of me.
Yet I felt a momentary tightness in my chest from the regret that my past might hurt him. That emotion itself was bewildering. Even if we were to develop into a romantic relationship, we had no right to take issue with each other’s past.
My usual belief was that being jealous of things that happened before meeting each other or being hurt by them was something where nothing could be done and was completely wasteful emotional fighting. I thought I couldn’t expect a serious and constructive relationship with someone who made an issue of such things.
Yet I couldn’t understand why I was feeling this way toward a man who had no rights over me yet. He hadn’t even questioned my past.
I asked toward the calm face behind the lenses.
“Do you really want to know something like that?”
“No. I don’t want to know. So I’d like you to make sure I never find out.”
The tone of his words was careful enough to be almost a whisper. It sounded like he was scared.
His face turned back toward the TV. The screen was reflected in his glasses lenses.
Meanwhile, the scene had changed and the screen was showing me in a car going to see my father. It was a scene where I couldn’t control my heightened emotions after the fight with Yoon Juho and finally shed a tear after hitting the steering wheel.
I couldn’t endure it anymore and lay down sideways facing him.
When I monitored alone, watching myself act didn’t bother me at all. I could check my acting calmly. But at this moment, I truly felt it would be better to spread my legs and masturbate in front of him.
I placed my hand on his bare stomach. He was sitting half-lying with his back against the cushion, his two arms naturally hanging down on the mattress. His clearly defined abs with deep grooves were firm inside and smooth outside.
Playing around by scratching the furrows between muscles with my fingertips, I moved up to his chest and stroked broadly with my palm over his skin, gauging the thickness of his muscles. My chest was touching around his side, and part of my penis was pressing against his right thigh.
He who had been silently letting me do as I pleased sighed lightly and muttered in dissatisfaction.
“See this? You were doing this at dawn too.”
Chuckling, I crawled up and lay on top of his body. After rubbing my lips against the smooth skin of his chest, I felt around the flat brown oval areola with my hand.
Even among men, the shape and development of nipples varied greatly. His were particularly flat. The millet-sized nipple embedded in the center of the brown oval areola was interesting.
“How does it feel when I lick here?”
Before hearing an answer, I stuck out my tongue and licked over the brown oval. He put down the remote and swept my hair behind my ears with both hands.
“I don’t feel it directly, but there’s still visual stimulation. It’s lewd… and cute?”
“Mm, calling your senior cute is a bit…”
“What does senior or junior matter when something’s cute? Aren’t I cute when I lick yours?”
This big guy clinging to that small protrusion and trying every possible kind of lewdness couldn’t be cute.
Looking up at his serious expression, convinced he was cute, I burst into laughter. He laughed back and wrapped one arm around my lower back. His other hand rubbed my hair between his fingers while his eyes slowly traced all over my face.
The scene on TV had changed again. As the drama reached its climax, Yoon Juho and the female lead were also having conflicts. The characters in the drama were suspecting each other, blaming each other, and throwing words that crossed the line, being only serious, while we ignored that and focused only on each other.
Come to think of it, I’d never had time like this with Yoon Juho. Though I’d never wanted it from my side either.
I found it amusing that I was enjoying such embarrassing contact and eye contact while clinging to each other when we weren’t even going to have sex. Just as I was mocking myself, wondering who this person was, his lips parted slightly.
“Are you thinking of going back to Italy?”
“……”
It was something I never expected to come from his mouth, so I couldn’t react at all.
“Jung Jiin-ssi kept saying that yesterday. That you were going back.”
“Ah… I must have really been drunk. It’s just drunken nonsense. Lately things… haven’t been going well with work so I was just… everyone has times like that, you know.”
Heat rose from embarrassment at having acted ugly while drunk. Since we were facing each other, I avoided his gaze and chuckled needlessly. I tried to get down from his stomach, but he tightened the arm around my waist and wouldn’t let me go.
If it were just a situation enjoying a suggestive atmosphere that would be one thing, but having a conversation in this position… wasn’t comfortable.
“But you really seemed to miss home a lot.”
“I suppose so. It’s where I grew up since I was young, and my family is there…”
When everything becomes hateful, I can just go home. Go back and just keep my mouth shut, pretending not to know anything. The fact that I was keeping such cowardly means as my last resort was buried somewhere deep where no one could discover it.
I wasn’t the type to say things drunk that I couldn’t say sober. The fact that I had revealed such inner thoughts to him that I wouldn’t accidentally let slip even in front of Taeyoon was quite shocking.
“That was really just exaggerated drunk talk… I haven’t thought about giving up life here and going back yet. Just, if the audition I’m waiting for results on doesn’t go well, I’m thinking of going for a vacation. I haven’t been there once in 4 years.”
“You must have been very busy with activities.”
“Yes, well…”
My gaze that had been mumbling turned left, and his gaze followed mine. A phone was vibrating on the nightstand. When I pushed against his chest with more force and sat up, he finally reluctantly released his arm.
Crawling across the sheet, I flopped down face-first within reach of the phone. I picked up the phone and checked the caller. It was Jaewoo.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
