Chapter 37
Even though I hadn’t checked or replied, around 1 PM after lunch time, there was another message he had sent.
《I managed to clear this entire Sunday.》
I thought Yui might catch me smiling. I leaned my elbow on the dining table and covered my mouth with my hand while pretending to rest my chin. I also coughed a few times, pretending to clear my throat.
I didn’t know for sure, but he must have worked hard to completely clear a whole day. I knew that schedule coordination in an organizational society wasn’t just one person’s individual problem. Perhaps because of this, he might have to handle an even more difficult schedule until Saturday.
Imagining him working hard in places I couldn’t see to secure time to spend with me was, honestly… a bit enjoyable. I wanted to pat his head or give his butt a gentle tap while praising him.
[I’ll show this to Mom later too. Even though she doesn’t show it, she’s secretly curious about all of oppa’s activities.]
Having finished her extremely subjective commentary on each photo in the pictorial, Yui put down her phone on the screen and picked up a cup with yellow juice to wet her throat.
It was a little past 7 AM in Paeli. Mother would be making the rounds at the main restaurant that served breakfast, exchanging morning greetings with the guests.
[But you still haven’t decided on your next project? Mom seemed to be waiting for oppa’s next drama.]
Yui spoke as if it was nothing to avoid putting pressure on me.
I had told my family that since I’d been working non-stop since my debut, I was taking time to catch my breath until I found a really good project. Like all people living apart from their families, I didn’t want to cause them worry.
[I was actually thinking of starting to look for my next project soon.]
[Really?]
I could somehow sense disappointment in her expression and voice. Yui, who had put her cup down on the desk, rolled her wheeled chair closer to the screen.
[Oppa, you’ve never taken such a long break from projects since your debut. So even though Mom didn’t say anything, she seemed to be waiting, hoping you might stop by home while you’re taking a break. If you’re going to start another project now, you won’t have time for a while again, right?]
Exactly half the time had passed since Director Hwang Sooyoung mentioned the two-week deadline. But since the script reading wasn’t far off, if I liked the audition content, there would be no reason to drag it out. I hadn’t given up hope yet, but the situation was flowing in a negative direction.
[Actually, there’s a project I’m considering right now, and I think there’ll be a conclusion in about a week. If the casting falls through, I’m thinking of going home this time.]
[Huh? Really? You can do that?]
She was trying not to show how pleased she was, but Yui’s cheeks were puffed out on the screen. I couldn’t help but smile back at that face. I nodded and smiled.
[I think it’ll be decided for sure in a week.]
[But this… should I pray that you get cast, or should I pray that it falls through so you can come home?]
Seeing Yui’s troubled face, unable to be fully happy, I realized I’d made a mistake. I shouldn’t have used the word “falls through.”
[It’s not like I desperately want to be cast. It was more like, if I get cast, then I should do it. I’ve worked a lot until now, you know.]
Only then did Yui’s expression brighten. Since coming to Korea, these little white lies to my family had increased.
I had refrained from making casual remarks about going home until now. I was more afraid of building up expectations only to disappoint them. But talking like this now might mean that deep down, I was solidifying my premonition that my appearance in <Eternal Night> would probably fall through.
[Still, it might not work out, so don’t get your hopes up too much. And keep it secret from Mother for now, okay? She might be disappointed later for no reason.]
If this casting fell through, I was aware that some kind of change in my life here would be necessary. Going to Paeli once could also be a good opportunity to sort out my thoughts.
[Okay, I won’t tell Jeong Ian either. That guy has a loose mouth and would definitely blab everything to Mom.]
[What’s Jeong Ian doing? He’s not at work yet, right? Let me see his face.]
[He’s been going crazy every morning picking out clothes because there’s someone he likes at the salon these days. Wait, I’ll call him right away.]
My younger brother Ian was commuting daily by driving over an hour each way to a salon in Naples. He had built up quite a career by now and was one of the popular designers leading the branch. Since his work started a bit later compared to other jobs, it was still time before he’d leave home.
While Yui disappeared from the screen, I stared blankly at the empty screen. I wanted to look out the window, but I couldn’t open the curtains. Even if I did, only the red brick wall of the house across from this identical house would come into view.
During the first two years after coming to Korea, my family had come to Seoul. But Paeli, which was at peak season during summer vacation, and the salon where Ian worked had different vacation periods, making it difficult to coordinate timing. I couldn’t ask them to spend their precious vacation in Seoul every year. It had been almost two years since I’d seen my family’s faces.
Even though I missed them terribly, thinking about meeting them was painful. My smile and every word when facing them… everything felt like lies. I felt like a booby trap that could explode at any moment. There were secrets and lies inside me that could destroy the peace, happiness, and daily lives of the people I loved in an instant.
My gaze suddenly shifted to the phone I’d left on the dining table. Like someone discovering a ray of light in a cave, I quickly grabbed it. I sent a reply to his message that I’d only read and set aside.
《Didn’t you push yourself too hard adjusting your schedule?》
《Mm… I just need to work until midnight for the next three days starting today.》
A reply came immediately with a short gap. I laughed at the content that seemed like whining. Before I could finish typing my full reply, the next message followed.
《Did you just wake up? Did you overdo something last night?》
《Ah… it’s not that, I just checked my phone now. I was doing something.》
Just as noisy sounds could be heard from the screen, Yui and Ian appeared simultaneously. Thanks to that, my conversation with him was temporarily put on hold. Ian, who had been dragged into Yui’s room holding a shirt in each hand, immediately asked me which outfit was better without even greeting first, only to get scolded by Yui. It was the unchanging daily life of Paeli.
Even if I completely liquidated my life here and returned, would I be able to fully blend into that peaceful daily routine?
I couldn’t feel the siblings on the screen as my present. Like an old man soaked in nostalgia for the past that had been brilliant like light filtering through dense gaps between leaves and rippling the water surface, watching a movie he had loved so much in his youth after a long time. That’s how I was gazing at them.
After the call ended and I closed the laptop, it felt like a very long time had passed. Even though I’d drunk quite a bit of coffee, the ice had melted so the amount hadn’t decreased much. Suddenly the silence was unbearable. Thinking I should do something, I checked my phone and found the next message had arrived.
《Can you make time starting Saturday night?》
Looking at his message that didn’t hesitate at all to show his feelings of wanting to meet quickly, wanting to be together even a little more, I thought I wanted to see him right now.
Perhaps because my relationship with him had been impulsive from our first meeting, I could boldly attempt words I’d never tried with anyone else. I typed a reply.
《Is sex with me that good?》
Even after the read receipt appeared, it took a while for the next message to come back.
《Is something wrong?》
I had expected a more explicit sexual banter than what I threw at him to come back. Feeling like my inner thoughts had been read, I straightened my upper body that had been loosely slouched.
《Why does your thinking go in that direction?》
《It would be different if you were in the middle of being aroused. But you said something unexpected.》
《Then I guess I’m aroused right now.》
《It’s only Wednesday and if this is a strategy to make me impatient, it’s working.》
Just hearing him ask if something was wrong gave me strength as if I’d been comforted. At least I could pull myself together enough to feel hungry and have an appetite return. Since I’d thrown out an unexpected remark, I decided to be a bit more honest.
《I can spend time together starting Saturday night. I’ll look forward to it.》
After sending the message, I got up from my seat with the coffee cup. Looking through the refrigerator, I spotted spinach, bacon, eggs, and such. It seemed I could simply make frittata, which could be called an Italian-style omelet. I put a pan in the combination oven that I mostly used only as a microwave despite being oven-capable, and was organizing the remaining ingredients in the refrigerator when it got a bit noisy outside the window.
The sound of closing the front gate, footsteps going up the stairs, followed by the sound of entering the password for the accommodation’s front door lock.
“Crazy bastards. They obviously know no one’s home, so why are they loitering around there?”
It was Hyunsoo who entered through the front door, grumbling fiercely.
“Just getting back?”
“Oh, hyung… you were home?”
Hyunsoo stammered his words and averted his gaze as if it was problematic that I was home. The guy who had been neat when he left at dawn looked very tired. A smell mixing various perfumes and cigarette scents different from the cologne he’d sprayed when leaving was emanating from his summer jacket.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
