Chapter 33
“I can speak a little Italian too, and I’m somewhat familiar with their cuisine and wine… the conditions matched well, so I interviewed here.”
“The treatment must have been good. Since the location is near Itaewon, there must be many foreign customers. Being able to speak three languages plus having a high understanding of Italian wine and cuisine. And with such good looks on top of that, the salary must have been good.”
Without blinking an eye, he rattled off excessive praise that made even me embarrassed.
“I can only manage simple conversation, not really three languages…”
“In an era where people appeal as trilingual speakers even if they can only exchange greetings, isn’t that being overly modest?”
From receiving a business card from UB’s CEO who came to eat at ‘Fiano’ to signing a contract and officially starting acting work, I worked here for about a year and six months. In fact, toward the end, I received quite exceptional treatment. It was true that the manager and chef wanted to keep me.
“I think if you had auditioned for agencies right after arriving in Korea, you could have contracted as an actor immediately. ‘Fiano’ was lucky.”
Becoming a theater actor was possible in Italy too. In theater, unlike movies or dramas, there were almost no constraints based on appearance. Asians could easily play Western roles with wigs and makeup. The reverse was also true. It was a kind of agreement on theatrical allowance.
However, I came to Korea to become a screen actor, specifically a drama actor on TV broadcasts. As I had told Director Hwang Sooyoung, the reasons were complex.
I wanted to leave home because facing my family’s faces was painful, and I also wanted to make my mother happy, who was secretly proud whenever I showed interest in acting.
One of them was also the vague expectation that I might be able to find my blood relatives if my face became known.
But expectations were accompanied by fear.
Even now, I couldn’t be certain whether I wanted to find them or not. I was just pushing myself into a situation where they might come looking for me someday and passively waiting for the results.
While I was lost in thought, he took the wine bottle from the ice bucket and filled my glass. Having just emptied one glass, whether I was getting drunk or becoming sentimental while exchanging old stories after so long, I blurted out something I normally wouldn’t have said.
“Lee Han-ssi, do you know that feeling?”
He, who had been pouring wine into his own glass, sent a look indicating he was listening.
“Wanting to find a certain target, but hesitating because you’re afraid that once you find them, there might be an unexpected twist waiting that’s different from your expectations.”
“I know.”
“……”
As if he had anticipated such a question, he gave an immediate answer. Then he stroked the surface of his newly filled glass with his thumb. His gaze looking down at the clear light green liquid was filled with longing in its color and depth, as if reminiscing about a past lover.
“In my case, the longing is much greater than the fear. I know well that I can’t escape from that desire anyway.”
“……”
“Sometimes I think the present exists because of that hope. Hope is like a bet placed on the future. You end up living through the present because you’re curious about the results of that bet. Even if it’s hope accompanied by fear, it’s still hope after all.”
His tone wasn’t pretentious. He didn’t seem to want to delve deeply into that story either. Without revealing our inner thoughts in detail, we empathized with each other’s stories and smiled faintly. Then we clinked our glasses.
Sitting at ‘Fiano’ with photographs of Italy’s Positano with its colorful houses densely packed along the cliffs hanging on the walls, and Italian conversations echoing from the kitchen and hall, while eating and drinking Campanian-style fried cod and wine with him, I was able to miss my hometown to my heart’s content for the first time in a long while.
While choosing ‘Fiano’ might have been coincidence, I thought perhaps his choice of Italian cuisine instead of Korean, Chinese, or Japanese might have been consideration for me, being from Italy. If so, should today’s sudden meeting be considered closer to a pre-planned date? Had attraction and curiosity begun to creep into a relationship that started as an impulsive one-night stand?
This wasn’t the time to be leisurely having such thoughts. The numbing sensation of reality growing distant was undeniably sweet.
■
After finishing our meal and going outside, there was someone waiting to drive instead. A man in a suit standing in front of the valet parking booth spotted us and bowed, so I knew he was someone he had arranged to wait.
“The wine and meal were really good… but it’s regrettable that I can’t drive myself.”
His gaze looking at his SUV just returning from the external parking lot was resentful.
Just like how he had been disappointed when leaving Director Kang Woohyeon’s party last time, he seemed to prefer situations where he could drive himself and be alone together in the car. The more I saw of him, the more subtly delicate sides he had.
Even though his appearance made his first impression feel somewhat high-handed, when you talked to him, you could communicate. He knew when to back down and how to consider the other person’s feelings and position in advance. Perhaps, as he said, it was the result of his efforts because he didn’t want to be hated by me. But the world was overflowing with people who couldn’t even pretend such thoughtful consideration was effort.
Though I didn’t want to readily admit it, honestly, I couldn’t find any major flaws so far. He would be popular enough with women as a romantic prospect too. I wonder if he’s had experience dating women.
I tried to find an answer in his profile as he looked askance at his car, but it wasn’t easy.
“You seem to like driving.”
“Well, it’s not exactly that…”
Looking for the right expression, he squinted his eyes and wrinkled his nose as he hesitated. Meanwhile, ‘Fiano’s valet driver was handing over the driver’s seat to his attendant.
He, who had been standing beside me, suddenly put his arm around my shoulder. When I flinched and tried to pull back from the sudden contact, the hand around my shoulder pressed firmly and pulled me closer. Then he covered his mouth with his hand and came close to my ear.
“When other people are around, Jung Jiin-ssi can’t even properly say the word ‘sex.'”
What kind of great secret was that supposed to be? Just when I was generously evaluating him as a delicate man, he was playing pranks and looked cheerfully amused. At times like this, he was definitely younger. I pushed his side away and stepped back.
“That’s called common sense courtesy and propriety. It’s not that I’m timid.”
When I clicked my tongue in disbelief and scolded him, he smiled even more broadly.
The car was already ready to depart. Since we had left the restaurant without agreeing on where to go, we were lingering and killing time.
‘Fiano’ was located in a quiet upscale residential area rather than roadside, so there weren’t many passing vehicles. His SUV was waiting closely parked under the high wall of the mansion facing ‘Fiano.’ Green ivy leaves hanging long stems from the wall made of stacked gray stones of different sizes added seasonal flavor.
What I was expecting was obvious since I couldn’t turn around and say “Thanks for the nice dinner, well then.” I was just pretending otherwise and deceiving myself. He was the same, unable to conclude the meeting with “I’ll drive you home” or “Today was fun, get home safely.”
“Actually, since I contacted you so suddenly today, I didn’t expect you to respond.”
Still, he was the first to put an end to the hesitant silence.
“So I tried my best to somehow free up time afterward, but it didn’t work out well. Our boss expects a lot from me.”
His face, openly showing disappointment, was looking at me.
I see. Today ends here. Afraid I wouldn’t be able to manage my expression, I lowered my gaze to around his shoulder level.
“Can you give me just one more hour before I go back to the company? I’ll buy you coffee while looking at the Han River and then take you home.”
“If you return to the company an hour early, can’t you leave work that much earlier?”
“What would I do leaving work an hour early? It’s meaningless. Have coffee with me.”
He opened the back door and approached closely, grabbing my waist from behind. Due to our height difference, his lips were right at my ear, and I could feel his firm chest against my back.
Moved by his sweet choice of choosing a cup of coffee with his sex partner over leaving work an hour early, I pretended to be unable to resist and climbed into the back seat behind the passenger seat.
The car began descending the northwestern road of Namsan, opposite to the way we came. The sun had completely set while we were eating, and now it was time to enjoy the night view.
Unlike the limousine last time, there was no armrest between him and me. He turned his body toward me as much as his seatbelt allowed. The back seat of the large SUV was spacious enough, but the tips of his long crossed legs seemed about to touch my calves.
Resting his elbow on his knee and supporting his chin, he stared intently at my face as if some interesting event was happening there. Whether it was his natural way of looking at people, I didn’t know, but there was something that felt almost desperate in his gaze that slowly blinked and seemed to touch every part of my face with his eyes.
“Should I show you my list?”
Though the words coming from his lips were far from desperate.
I reflexively glanced toward the driver’s seat.
“Do you really want to talk about that right now?”
“Why, what’s wrong with the word ‘list’? Is it strange to show a list?”
As if I was overreacting, he widened his eyes and tilted his head. Of course, not many people would think of BDSM play just from the word “list”…
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
