Chapter 28
Swimming, tennis, fitness… after trying several sports, Pilates suited my personality best. While I love swimming regardless of exercise, I stopped going because of the burden of glances in the changing and shower rooms. It was strange how my recognition seemed to suddenly increase only in such places.
Since Yoon Juho introduced me to Seohae hyung two years ago, I’ve been consistently managing with Pilates. It greatly helped not only with posture correction and basic physical training, but also balanced muscle development.
After finishing my shower and coming out, Seohae hyung was preparing simple snacks on the kitchen island table as usual.
“Hydrate first.”
As I sat on a stool in front of the table, hyung handed me a drink freshly poured from the blender. It was a drink with kale and tomato added to coconut water.
“Thanks, I’ll drink it well.”
The snacks on the plate were also only fruits good for beauty like watermelon and cherries.
Hyung had been shocked knowing that my usual meals and sleep rhythm were irregular and I relied on spicy, salty delivery food. He said maintaining this body type and skin despite that was purely the power of genetics, and told me to thank my parents. Rolling his eyes and pinching my side saying it was annoying was a bonus.
“At first you looked like you’d been given poison, but now you drink it well.”
While clearing away the cup I’d emptied in one go without complaints, hyung patted my back with a pleased expression.
Throwing a cherry with the stem removed into my mouth, I picked up my phone. While habitually checking messages and calls to see if any new contacts had come in, the corners of my mouth curved up slightly.
A message from ‘Team Leader Lee Han’ had arrived about 10 minutes ago.
《You must be doing Pilates. You’re much more flexible than I thought.》
I typed a reply while rolling the cherry in my mouth.
《You were pretending to be so busy, but you were monitoring my SNS in real time?》
Five days had passed since we spent the night together at Knox Hotel. Since I was an actor in off mode, my schedule was relatively relaxed, but during that time he had quite frequent business trips and overtime, making it difficult to match schedules.
《It’s not me monitoring, it’s my secretary.》
《Is that for real?》
《Of course not. I get notifications when Jung Jiin-ssi’s account updates.》
Ah… was there such a function?
Just as I was about to pick up an empty bowl to spit out the cherry pit, the expression of hyung sitting across from me was unusual.
“Why that expression?”
“Who is it? Who’s making you grin like an idiot and feel so good?”
“Feel good my ass… I just laughed because it was funny.”
“I’ve exercised with you for 2 years and this is the first time I’ve seen that expression? Who are you trying to fool? Hey, didn’t Juho tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“That I almost received divine possession.”
In the 2 years I’d been listening to hyung’s chatter, that story was new.
When he went to play at a friend’s house in elementary school, there was a shaman’s house directly facing it with just a wall between them, and from then some wandering spirit started following him. That spirit even followed him to study abroad in Canada, making him suffer through jealousy for days whenever he dated, then suddenly disappeared one day… hyung’s story continued.
“So I almost received divine possession on Canadian soil.”
A spirit that attached in elementary school followed him to Canada… hyung was quite an extraordinary person too.
After finishing his story, hyung rested his arms on the table and pointed at my phone with his chin.
“Aren’t you checking the message? Seems like they’re waiting.”
Then he left the table holding a fork with watermelon, saying to not mind him and date comfortably.
《Ah, were you offended? I followed because it seemed like an account fairly open to everyone. I’ll unfollow if it’s uncomfortable.》
I’d just put down my phone briefly to respond to hyung’s story, but he seemed to take it as awkwardness. I got up from the stool and walked toward the window while quickly typing a reply.
《No. It doesn’t matter. I just thought Lee Han-ssi wouldn’t be interested in such things. It was unexpected.》
《Right, I’m not interested. I just made the account for the first time.》
Hmm… it was basically saying it was for the purpose of following my account.
Like when we met in Bangkok, his way of expressing interest was quite direct. It was better than pretending to be experienced while pushing and pulling and calculating… but conversely, as someone clumsy with emotional expression, I couldn’t think of appropriate words to respond with.
Since it was an account managed by the company anyway, it only had standardized, uninteresting photos that anyone could see. There was barely any private life exposure. Yet imagining him watching from somewhere, I felt heat gathering deep inside my body.
I accessed the SNS account I’d completely left to the company and rarely checked for the first time in a while.
142 posts. How did these photos look in his eyes? Looking from that perspective, each one looked different. I was certain he had dirty thoughts while looking at the photos taken during Pilates. I bit my lower lip firmly.
I thought I understood the psychology of people who get excited by being watched.
Not voyeurism, but understanding the excitement of being voyeurized. I wondered if I was becoming too bold too quickly just because I had a sexually compatible partner.
Buzz. A small vibration sounded in my hand and a notification window appeared at the top of the screen announcing a new message arrival.
《You’re reviewing the list I sent, right?》
《That, were you serious when you sent it?》
Turning my back from the full window with a cool Han River view, I sat on a nearby combi chair. At the mention of the list, sweat formed on my palms and I wiped it on my training pants.
The list he mentioned was a chart listing over 100 BDSM-related plays. He’d sent me the chart two days ago.
《Since Jung Jiin-ssi seems to think writing a contract is too grandiose, we decided to at least know play preferences accurately. I’d like you to approach it sincerely.》
The chart divided into about 10 columns and rows had one play listed per box. The checking method was simple: circle preferred plays, triangle for plays you’re hesitant about but curious, and firmly mark X for plays you absolutely don’t want.
《Lee Han-ssi seems to have finished checking.》
《Want to cheat off mine if it’s difficult?》
《No, I’ll decline.》
I thought I had clear likes and dislikes in this area. So I thought I could finish checking quickly without hesitation. But the types of play I faced one by one were more varied than expected, and my reaction in front of that chart was also unexpected.
Collar play, food play, face sitting. And even spanking of certain parts… I found myself unable to readily mark X on plays I’d thought I had no interest in. There was definitely curiosity slowly raising its head inside me.
Even before experiencing actual play, I was already meeting a strange version of myself.
《Not trying to show off, but this is a necessary procedure for Jung Jiin-ssi’s safety too, so please mark honestly. I can wait as long as needed.》
What I wanted and didn’t want. I’d never had such conversations with Yoon Juho, my long-time bed partner.
Before debut when I thought it would be a one-time encounter. I was somewhat satisfied with his quite rough sex style, and was quite surprised to later learn that partner was a very famous popular actor.
When we reunited after debut, surprisingly Yoon Juho was active in trying to pull me into bed. If I wasn’t going to spend my remaining youth just masturbating, I eventually accepted his persistent proposal thinking a fellow industry worker would be safer as CEO said.
Of course, his sex style wasn’t completely to my liking. But I couldn’t demand only what I wanted from a partner. That was a fantasy only realizable for very, very lucky people. Occasionally Yoon Juho went too far, but since he satisfied the minimum of my desires, I’d roughly compromised until now.
It was quite different from his method of trying to realize sexual preferences treated as abnormal through extremely sensible and gentlemanly procedures.
Had he always found partners this way? Discussing acceptable and unacceptable things in advance, thoroughly distinguishing on and off modes? If so, they were very, very lucky.
《Team Leader seems to have excellent patience.》
《I should for things worth it.》
I pulled both feet that had been on the floor up onto the chair seat. While chewing my thumb, I examined his message from various angles for a while.
The worthwhile thing he mentioned would be sex with me. A target who could respond to oppressive sex that grabbed struggling limbs tightly, pressed down with his thick torso, and drove toward pleasure beyond common sense. If appearance was also to his taste, it would be the cherry on top.
Yet sometimes certain remarks made me feel like he wanted something more comprehensive including but beyond sex from me. But for now it was only speculation and intuition.
Before I could answer anything, his message continued.
《Actually there’s another real reason I contacted you. Sorry for asking suddenly on the day, but do you have plans tonight?》
《Tonight?》
《Tonight. Can’t help it if you have plans, but if you’re free, want to see a play with me?》
I thought his suggestion to meet would be a sex request, but unexpectedly he suggested watching a play.
When I unconsciously looked up, my face reflected hazily in the glass window was smiling. Like hyung said, a grinning face. Still, I wasn’t that overjoyed.
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Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
