#73
“Hey, Jeon Yudam.”
Bae Taeseong, who had his chance to nominate me snatched away right before his eyes, openly showed his disappointment.
“I finally made it to second place, you bastard… Aren’t you eating dinner with Choi Eungi? Huh? Where does such a tiny thing get off being spiteful?”
Jeon Yudam stuck out his tongue and replied.
“Eungi hyung and I are going to have an amazing dinner tomorrow evening at the private accommodation. Right, Eungi hyung?”
Choi Eungi said calmly.
“If that’s what Yudam-ssi wants.”
“And this isn’t spite, you know? I want to date Sanho hyung too.”
Bae Taeseong made a deflating sound.
“That guy really does incomprehensible things sometimes. He acted weird when choosing airplane seats too.”
No matter how much he grumbled, what was decided was decided.
Bae Taeseong ruffled his hair with rough hands and turned his head sharply. Whether he had planned to nominate Han Jiwon if not me, Han Jiwon was caught at the end of his gaze.
However, Han Jiwon crossing his arms and making a declaration was faster than him opening his mouth.
“I don’t want to go with you.”
“Huh?”
Han Jiwon said with a sly smile.
“I’d like to decline being a chicken instead of a pheasant.”
Bae Taeseong said with a crooked smile.
“So you don’t want to because you’re second choice? Think about it from the other perspective. If you were in my position, wouldn’t I have been your second choice too?”
It was a question meaning that if he had been given the choice, he naturally would have prioritized me.
“No.”
Han Jiwon said in a crisp voice.
“I wouldn’t have.”
Though it’s easy to say such things, the problem was that it didn’t feel like empty words at all.
Bae Taeseong, who had been staring at Han Jiwon with a complicated expression for a moment, let out a deep sigh.
“Really? Dragging along someone who doesn’t want to go isn’t my style. Then there’s no choice. Jin Woohyeon.”
Unlike me, who was flustered thinking it was an unexpected nomination, Jin Woohyeon acted like he had expected it.
“Should we? I think we might have some things in common.”
After second and third place quickly dropped out, it was the next person’s turn. Kim Sehyeong nominated Han Jiwon, and Hwang Yeonwoo nominated Lee Chan, creating combinations that were completely different from what I had expected.
I secretly held my head in my hands and thought.
‘Is love originally this complicated…?’
Very unfortunately, it seemed like it was.
* * *
The date with Jeon Yudam was more enjoyable than expected.
Going into a yakiniku restaurant and grilling unfamiliar cuts of meat one piece at a time was good, and going souvenir shopping with ice cream in hand was also good.
“Hyung. Want to go look at the crane games over there? Let’s hurry before people crowd around!”
“Oh, okay.”
Following Jeon Yudam’s inexhaustible energy was somewhat overwhelming, but…
“Look at this. It looks like you! Don’t you think so?”
Seeing the brightly smiling guy’s face made me feel like it would be okay to push myself for just one day.
To walk side by side with him as he bustled about with his small frame, I had to hurry in various ways. My ankle gradually started throbbing as I tried hard to keep up, but since I could still walk, I didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere.
Jeon Yudam, who knew nothing, energetically led the way and gestured for me to hurry up.
“Are you bored by any chance?”
“Not at all. It’s fun. Are you okay, Yudam?”
“I’m having such a great time.”
Jeon Yudam smiled brightly and shook the keychain he had just won from the crane game, making it jingle.
“It gets tiring to just be excited all the time, you know? So I was in the mood to rest a bit. I hoped you felt the same way too. Did I meddle too much?”
“No. Thanks to you, it’s good.”
It was good to just have fun without any worries like now. It was also refreshing since it was my first time wandering around so energetically with someone my age.
Watching Jeon Yudam chatter non-stop, I thought this is what a lovable person is like. Seeing him so bright and warm like sunshine made me wish I could smile so carefree too.
“Should we walk around the department store once and then go back to the hotel? Who’s your roommate today?”
“Lei.”
Right before coming out on the date, we had time to draw today’s roommates by ladder. My roommate was An Lei.
“Oh.”
Jeon Yudam slightly lowered the tip of his eyebrows and asked.
“Isn’t it awkward between you two?”
“It would be a lie to say it’s not awkward…”
Unlike Hwang Yeonwoo, Kim Sehyeong, and Jeon Yudam, who I could treat comfortably, the relationship between An Lei and me wasn’t that clear-cut.
Would there be no need to worry like this if I could choose just one between hating or liking him?
“Jealousy?”
“Well…”
Since I had no intention of getting back together with Lee Chan, calling this emotion jealousy was a bit inappropriate. I thought for a while and shrugged my shoulders.
“Yudam wouldn’t understand this feeling. Eungi hyung only likes you.”
“Would I be annoying if I answered ‘that’s right’?”
“Ahaha. No.”
“But if Eungi hyung had come here and said he liked someone else, hmm, I don’t think I would have been jealous.”
Jeon Yudam took my hand and moved toward the living section as he spoke.
“I think I would have cheered for them to work out instead.”
“Even if you still had feelings for Eungi hyung?”
“Yes. Even if I still had feelings.”
His busy steps suddenly stopped. Since he was staring somewhere for a while, I too turned my gaze following Jeon Yudam, puzzled.
It was a porcelain teacup with flowers painted very delicately in blue dye. Gold powder seemed to be sprinkled here and there, making it sparkle gorgeously under the chandelier lighting, looking like quite an expensive item.
‘…The price matches its appearance.’
I casually asked while looking at the numbers written below.
“Do you like the design?”
Since he was staring so intently, I assumed he liked it.
“No.”
An expression I’d never seen before appeared on Jeon Yudam’s face when he suddenly turned around.
“It’s a design I don’t like.”
There must be a story. I stared at Jeon Yudam and then slightly moved our joined hands to interlock our fingers. When I gently applied pressure to our grip and shared body warmth, I could feel his cold, tense state gradually softening.
I learned that this method helped calm anxious feelings thanks to Jin Woohyeon. When he held hands like this, it felt like receiving warmer comfort than a hundred words.
“It’s okay to talk about it.”
I sometimes thought that Jeon Yudam’s appearance, bright like sunshine and clear like a gentle breeze, probably wasn’t all there was to him. Like everyone else, he probably didn’t have only bright aspects.
How many people are unaffected by breakups? Especially when both parties still have feelings, it would be even harder.
“It would be a boring and predictable story.”
“Did Chan and I break up for some novel reason or something?”
I gently swayed our joined hands and laughed.
“If I wanted to vent, wouldn’t you listen?”
“Of course I’d listen!”
“See?”
I quietly stared into Jeon Yudam’s sad-looking eyes and said.
“I’m the same. I wouldn’t think it’s boring and predictable, and I’d gladly listen.”
After a long silence, Jeon Yudam said.
“We had teacups that looked like that at my house. Four made a set, but now only three remain.”
I didn’t need to ask where the other one went. Jeon Yudam’s small voice continued.
“I still remember it clearly. The sight of my father throwing that teacup at Eungi hyung. Hot tea splashing, broken fragments flying… but Eungi hyung just stood there with his hands behind his back, taking it.”
“Why didn’t he dodge?”
“Because if he dodged, I would have been hit since I was behind him.”
“…”
“I thought then. If he stays with me, hyung will get hurt. This time it’s a teacup, but next time something worse might come flying. Just because I’m next to him, hyung won’t dodge, won’t show that he’s in pain… and won’t even resent me.”
Jeon Yudam’s voice as he added that he broke up with such a person contained guilt that had been fingered so long its edges were frayed.
“That’s right. That’s why we broke up. Eungi hyung is someone who makes me happy, but I was upset by the fact that I might make Eungi hyung unhappy…”
But he still liked him. He had accepted the appearance offer, keeping it secret even from his family, because he wanted to see Choi Eungi again, even like this.
“It’s hard enough to understand each other, and it’s unfair that it can’t be maintained by that alone, right, hyung?”
“So do you regret it? Liking Eungi hyung.”
Then Jeon Yudam smiled with a face that looked like he might cry and answered.
“No.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
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