Can Love Be Transferred Too? 67

#67

I fell asleep without even realizing when.

Just as Bae Taeseong had said, my fever rose a bit more. When I groaned and tossed my body in my sleep, cool hands gently brushed across my face. The temperature felt too good to refuse, so I quietly surrendered my body to it, and soon a small whisper tickled my ear.

“Should I stay a bit longer?”

I think I probably nodded. After that, Bae Taeseong stayed by my bedside for quite a while.

After sleeping a bit more, the surroundings had grown dark.

‘Dinner time must be over already…’

Dinner together with everyone. That was the house rule. I felt both regret and guilt at the same time. The dinner times where we chatted warmly together were one of my daily pleasures lately, and I also felt sorry for worrying others by missing it.

The door must have opened, as the corridor light streaming in through the gap poked at my eyelids. Soon someone approached, and the sour smell of tomato soup wafted over.

‘I’ll bring you something you can eat later. Even if you don’t have an appetite, you need to eat something to take your medicine.’

Remembering Bae Taeseong’s words that I’d heard while dozing, I frowned and shook my head.

“I don’t want that…”

My mind was soggy like a drowned sheep. Whether it was because my ears were stuffy, my own voice sounded very strange and somewhat pathetic.

“I want to eat something else.”

The person who had set down the soup bowl on the bedside table replied.

“You like it though.”

Hmm, that’s strange. Was Bae Taeseong’s voice always like this? I was drowsy and sleepy, so my mind wasn’t all there, and I thought it didn’t really matter either way.

“That’s the last one.”

It was instant soup we’d bought for people who wanted simple meals or light late-night snacks that weren’t too excessive. Among them, tomato soup was both my favorite and…

“…Chan likes that too.”

It was also the soup that picky eater Lee Chan ate best.

The answer came a little later.

“What’s so cute about him that you’d save it for him?”

“…”

“You said he doesn’t even like you.”

Buried deep in my bedding, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“That’s right. What’s so cute about that mean kid that it bothers you so much?”

“I bought sushi instead.”

“Exactly. That was really annoying. When he obviously knew I couldn’t eat it…”

“But still?”

But still? Ah. I guess he was asking if I still wanted to take care of Lee Chan even after he treated me that way.

“I don’t want to take care of him.”

I mumbled, revealing my true feelings. It really was true. Constantly pouring my heart into something that wouldn’t be rewarding was foolish. I wasn’t unaware that stopping these bustling efforts would make things easier in many ways.

“But I keep taking care of him anyway. Even when I try not to worry about him, one corner of my heart keeps turning toward him.”

Maybe it was because my mind was hazy, but words seemed to spill out between my lips without order.

“Maybe it’s habit… That’s probably it. It seems like stubbornness too. Still, though it might be an excuse… I had no choice but to be that way.”

No matter how cruel Lee Chan was to me, no matter how he acted like my feelings didn’t matter at all. If I treated him the same way and we grew apart, we would truly become strangers.

“I guess I didn’t want to leave him alone. It’s funny. He’s not someone who would be alone even without me, but just in case… just in case, it was because of that feeling. When the moment comes someday when he feels sad, I wanted to be there beside him at least. I was always like that. That’s why I stayed by Chan’s side.”

A voice that felt somewhat cold asked.

“Is it pity?”

“Pity… Maybe it could be. It would be friendship too. It could be selfishness, self-satisfaction, sense of responsibility…”

I brought out words that had been buried deep in my heart, sharp like thorns.

“At one time, it would have been love.”

* * *

[Q. How do you feel about X?]

Lee Chan: At first, I was certain. I left without any lingering attachment, after all. (You mean you had no thoughts of reunion at all?) Yes, none at all.

But… now I’m not sure. I think I’m confused. I never thought I’d feel emotions like this.

I’ve known Sanho my whole life. So I thought there wouldn’t be any part of him I didn’t know. But the Sanho I see after entering here sometimes feels like a different person. So it’s a bit strange.

[Q. When Sanho-ssi was sick, you unintentionally heard his inner thoughts.]

Lee Chan: He mistook me for Taeseong hyung. That was also a bit strange. When I think about it, Sanho doesn’t seem to have opened up his inner thoughts to me that much. He used to when we were young, but at some point he stopped.

I can’t say I treated him well, even as lip service. It’s true that I acted more coldly to try to cut off my feelings. But even so, it’s strange that part of Sanho’s heart remained by my side. And it’s also awkward that those feelings are gradually getting smaller as time passes.

(Do you mean you find it regrettable? Or that you’ve developed lingering feelings again?) Well… is it regrettable? If you ask me whether I have romantic feelings, no. I still don’t want to meet again, and my romantic feelings are definitely for Lei. But…

Ah, I really don’t know how to explain it. My feelings are complicated. I always felt comfortable when looking at Sanho, but lately I don’t feel comfortable.

“I think,”

Kim Yeseok said, looking at the screen with a serious expression.

“Lee Chan-ssi didn’t have no lingering feelings. He just believed that was the case.”

“That’s right.”

Mariella nodded.

“They were friends for 10 years, then lovers for 10 years, right? Realistically, it doesn’t make sense to have no lingering feelings. Don’t you think so, Juyeon-ssi?”

“I think so too. Moreover, since it was a relationship with a clear power dynamic, it would have been even harder to realize at first.”

“Ah. So it’s not that he had no lingering feelings, but that he had the luxury of thinking so?”

“Something like that.”

Juyeon added with a faint smile.

“But the situation has changed. Since Sanho-ssi, who seemed like he would always hover nearby, has started to move, I think Lee Chan-ssi is gradually realizing that Sanho-ssi’s feelings aren’t something that will never change.”

On the screen, Lee Chan stood alone in the dark bedroom. He had come up to bring tomato soup, but after hearing Yoo Sanho’s words when he mistook him for Bae Taeseong, he had frozen in place for a long time. A sense of defeat appeared coolly on his sharp, confident face before melting away and disappearing.

– Lee Chan: I admit it. There were things I took for granted as naturally mine.

– Lee Chan: I feel like I’ve been given this question. Would I really be okay even without Yoo Sanho?

[Something did seem strange about it ㅇㅇ No lingering feelings after a 10-year relationship? That didn’t make sense from the start; People who’ve been in long-term relationships would know… Unless it ended absolutely terribly, there’s definitely a moment when you pathetically look back at the past]

└ I agree with this. The weight of time is really scary, and honestly, after that many years, you can’t help but think about that person because of attachment, and also because of familiarity

└ I agree with both comments above. I had a 5-year relationship that ended badly, hitting rock bottom, but I still keep remembering the happy moments we had together… So I understood why Sanho couldn’t let go of his feelings at first, kept crying, and kept sending texts. It’s natural that it takes time to let go in your heart, and six months is really, really short (ㅠ_ㅠ)

[Personally, I think this breakup is more of a loss for Lee Chan,,, There’s a right time for regret too, but he seems like he’ll start regretting really late; I think only after Sanho has really gone far away will he look at that empty space and think, ah, he was really important to me]

[Sorry but I really hope 2nd lead suffers with regret. Ever since I saw that speculation post about him cheating in the past, every moment has been infuriating. Honestly, even acting like this seems like a privileged complaint;;;ㅎㅎ]

└ 222 ㅋㅋㅋ Let him regret it painfully after the bus has left… He doesn’t realize how rare it is to have someone who consistently likes you like Sanho does

└ You should treat people well when you have them ^ ^ Though of course you’ve already lost that chance?

[Why is it so touching that Jin Woohyeon came back from his schedule as soon as he heard hyung was sick and immediately paced in front of the door ㅠ He kept raising his hand to knock then lowering it (video)]

└ He has that restless puppy vibe

└ But he still went back down without waking him up, saying he hoped hyung would get good rest…

[Sanho with Woohyeon (photo) / Sanho without Woohyeon (photo)]

└ ㅁㅊ The temperature difference is crazy when you look at it like this

└ He looks really cold when he’s not smiling, his expression…

└ He’s handsome, but his aura is really something else. The saying that acting potential is separate is really true

└└ For those people, here’s Jin Woohyeon’s web drama debut (link) Please show lots of interest *^^* Great looks with great acting skills

[Omg]

[Wow]

[The scale ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]

[Guys, the 4th week preview video is up on DBS’s official YouTube channel (link)]

└ Crazy