#63
“Woohyeon.”
I couldn’t help but be surprised when I recognized the owner of the voice.
And for good reason—it was late. It was so late at night that people like Bae Taeseong and Choi Eungi, who start moving from early morning, would have already gone to bed long ago.
But he was still on the first floor? Not only was no one around, but all the lights were off too?
“You’re back? Hyung.”
When Jin Woohyeon gently wrapped around my arm and pulled me closer, Han Jiwon smiled as if he had expected this and said.
“Your dedication to waiting all this time is admirable, but don’t keep tired people too long.”
“Ahaha.”
Jin Woohyeon gestured toward the upper floor as he replied.
“You’ll have to go upstairs and say that once more. I’m not the only one with my eyes open at this hour.”
At those words, Han Jiwon made a subtle expression and fell silent. An expression that seemed both pleased and puzzled briefly crossed his handsome face.
After he went upstairs, Jin Woohyeon gripped my shoulders with both hands and asked.
“So, how much fun did you have on your date that you’re already making plans for next time as soon as you got back?”
“Huh?”
“When you’ve only been out with me once.”
His strangely sulky expression and sullen voice somehow made my heart flutter. Was this also an extension of the jealousy he talked about this morning?
Wondering if this was a serious matter, if he really wanted to scold me but I was too dense to understand, I stared up at him blankly. Jin Woohyeon slightly raised the corner of his mouth and shook his head.
He was being petulant, and it wasn’t that serious of a matter.
Only then did I feel at ease and lightly smile as I joked with him.
“What, are you trying to control me now?”
Jin Woohyeon sat me down on the sofa and answered cheekily.
“Hey, hyung. How could I control you?”
His gentle voice continued.
“I’m just saying. If you had fun today and want to go out again, I think that’s good too.”
“Even if it’s with someone other than Jiwon hyung?”
Jin Woohyeon nodded with a smiling face.
“I don’t want your world to be filled with just one thing.”
I stared at his figure shrouded in darkness. Some curiosity suddenly welled up from within my churning insides, but I couldn’t be sure whether it was okay to ask or not, so I couldn’t easily open my mouth.
Jin Woohyeon, who had been waiting for me for a moment, finally opened his mouth at the end of the silence.
“Actually, hyung.”
“Yeah.”
“I say that, but I’m greedy. I want to become something to you, to become more important.”
“…”
“I know I can’t become your everything, and I shouldn’t.”
He was speaking very calmly, but I who was listening wasn’t. Every time his words settled somewhere in my heart, it became increasingly difficult to manage my expression.
“But I have the greed to become a bigger presence. That’s why I’m curious about you, hyung.”
“What are you curious about?”
“Mm, first of all, what was enjoyable about today? What part made you think you wanted to go out again? Whether you were comfortable, whether your heart raced, whether you were happy. I’m most curious about the emotions you felt. Because I want to give you those things too.”
“I was comfortable.”
The date with Han Jiwon was comfortable. His consideration was so great, and because he was such a reliable older person, I felt that way even more.
“There was nothing I had to strain for, worry about, or anxiously fret over… that part was the best.”
After thinking for a moment, I added.
“It’s not that the date with you was uncomfortable. When I went out with you, it was also enjoyable and comfortable, but… mm, it can’t be as comfortable as when I went out with Jiwon hyung.”
I had spoken honestly, but after saying it, it sounded negative. I didn’t mean that I disliked being uncomfortable.
I was about to hurriedly add some explanation in case he might take my words the wrong way, when—
Click, the door opened with a sound and two people came in. It was Lee Chan and An Lei, who had just finished their date.
An Lei had his arm linked with Lee Chan’s as he chattered in a cheerful voice. Even in the darkness, I could see his cheeks were flushed red—if excitement could be visibly molded, it would probably look like that.
“…Oh.”
An Lei, who had been chattering comfortably thinking no one would be on the first floor since it was late, stopped abruptly. His gaze looking at me and Jin Woohyeon sitting side by side on the sofa was awkward.
“You’re still awake.”
Lee Chan also seemed a bit embarrassed and averted his gaze. I too pressed my lips tightly shut as my insides churned the moment I saw the two of them. Even though I was organizing my feelings toward Lee Chan, I still didn’t have the confidence to be unaffected by seeing the two of them together.
Among the four of us, only Jin Woohyeon was composed.
“Yeah. I was going to sleep after seeing you come in. Since I didn’t see you all day.”
“Ah…”
“Chan hyung, you worked hard too. Rest well.”
“Yeah. Sleep well.”
In the subtly creaking atmosphere, the two of them went upstairs. I watched their retreating figures with complicated eyes.
Then I turned my head at the sound of someone calling “Sanho hyung.”
“Ah.”
As if he had been waiting, his index finger poked my cheek.
“Why are you being so careful? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Just…”
I felt sorry that An Lei, who had looked so happy, became awkward whenever he saw me. It wasn’t An Lei’s fault that Lee Chan switched to him, and it certainly wasn’t his responsibility that he was cold to me, an ex.
That said, it wasn’t entirely without his responsibility that he came on the program already in a relationship, but still…
When I hung my head low, Jin Woohyeon slowly got up. Then he plopped down on the floor in front of me and gently placed his hands on my knees.
Even without lifting my eyes, I met his gaze as he looked up at me.
“Think about yourself first, hyung. Not other people.”
“…”
“And, Sanho hyung. Am I more uncomfortable than Jiwon hyung?”
“Ah, that.”
I wanted to say it was a misunderstanding, but when I suddenly looked at Jin Woohyeon’s face, there was a completely different expression than I expected.
‘A smile?’
It was a bright smile that showed his white, even teeth.
“What are you so happy about? I said you were uncomfortable…”
“I’m happy, don’t I look happy? You didn’t mean uncomfortable in a bad way. Right?”
“Right.”
“Then that means you’re excited.”
Jin Woohyeon’s eyes curved gently. As if he couldn’t contain his overflowing joy. As if he was overwhelmed by such a response he had never expected. Even in the darkness, such emotions were shining brightly.
“When someone I like says they’re uncomfortable because their heart races when they see me, what fool wouldn’t be happy about that?”
“You…”
Finally, the question I had tried to ask earlier but stopped slipped out through my tightly pressed lips.
“What makes you so certain?”
He was confident as if he had never worried about anything in his life. That appearance of his, never hesitating or wavering, was always new and amazing every time I saw it.
How could he be like that? There wasn’t a moment in my life when I wasn’t wavering. Beyond envy, I even felt wonder.
“I have to be certain.”
He said as he got up.
“Hearts can’t be seen or touched. Just because you want to prove it doesn’t mean you can prove it. So at least I have to be certain.”
He was right. Hearts can’t be seen or touched, so they can’t be proven.
But Jin Woohyeon was certain. Even without turning his gaze to search, even without groping with his hands to touch, he was proving that he was always by my side and boiling toward me with unwavering temperature.
I was practically realizing anew through Jin Woohyeon’s emotions that the intangible could be clearer than the tangible.
As I just looked up at him speechlessly, Jin Woohyeon grabbed my arm and pulled me up.
“First, since it’s late, shall we go to sleep? You came back later than expected, so your roommate Yudam seemed to be waiting too.”
Come to think of it, he did say that earlier.
‘I’m not the only one with my eyes open at this hour.’
“Was Yudam the one you mentioned earlier who was waiting with his eyes open?”
“What… ah, that.”
He gently smiled as he pushed my back toward the landing.
“No, that wasn’t about Jeon Yudam. Someone else.”
“…”
“Sweet dreams, Sanho hyung.”
I smiled brightly and responded to his heart.
“Yeah. See you tomorrow, Woohyeon.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
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