Can Love Be Transferred Too? 42

#42

After Jeon Yudam’s arrival, the atmosphere in the dorm began to change in various ways.

“Sanho hyung apparently had no idea I would be coming in?”

“Yeah. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a catfish.”

“Eungi hyung must not have told you about it. Well, I also heard that they would announce who was in a relationship with whom and then have someone join right after.”

They apparently call it a ‘catfish’ because it’s a role inserted to liven up a stagnant atmosphere. Indeed, the dorm became more lively after Jeon Yudam appeared. The Alpha group participants showed curiosity, and so did the Omega group participants.

“Probably one more person will join soon, right? From the Alpha group.”

Jeon Yudam nodded his head vigorously.

“You said Lei hyung is an X, right? I’m curious what kind of person he is. It would be fastest to ask directly…”

Unfortunately, my roommate An Lei was away. I heard that on days without dates, he always films during the daytime.

‘He said he has a project in preparation.’

So he had the busiest schedule among the participants, but fortunately I think I vaguely heard that he prioritizes this program and moves accordingly.

“I wonder what he looks like?”

Kim Sehyeong said while cleaning his glasses with a squeaking sound.

“Let’s make a bet. The new person coming in will be handsome or beautiful.”

Jeon Yudam opened his eyes wide and asked.

“Handsome and beautiful are different? How are they different?”

Hwang Yeonwoo summarized it neatly.

“Han Jiwon hyung is beautiful. Bae Taeseong hyung is handsome.”

“Is Yeonwoo a top instructor for physiognomy?”

“Yes, yes. I majored in physiognomy.”

“Professor Hwang, then could you distinguish the other people too?”

At Kim Sehyeong’s joke, Hwang Yeonwoo giggled and began distinguishing each person one by one.

“Of course Choi Eungi hyung is handsome. Lee Chan hyung is closer to beautiful, right? But he’s tall and changes his style well, so sometimes it gets confusing. Sanho hyung is beautiful, and so is Lei hyung. Sehyeong hyung and I are in between, but I think Sehyeong hyung is… hmm, beautiful without glasses, handsome with glasses.”

“What about me? What about me? Yeonwoo hyung, what about me?”

“Yudam, you are…”

Jeon Yudam threw out a question that everyone seemed to know the answer to, with a face full of anticipation.

“What about me?”

“Cute.”

In the end, to appease Jeon Yudam who was screaming that that meant he wasn’t pretty, we had to put three rounds of maple syrup on the pancake and top it with whipped cream.

* * *

“Come to think of it, what’s your major, Yudam?”

After giving the first pancake to Jeon Yudam and just putting up the second batter, Han Jiwon returned. When he sat across from us, Jeon Yudam seemed to think his snack was in danger and stuffed a large piece of pancake into his mouth.

‘All of that fits in there…’

While I was admiring that, I heard a mumbling voice.

“Uh-eh ah-ioh ee-oh-oh.”

“What? I can’t understand.”

“Uh-eh ah-ioh ee-ah-ee-ah-oh.”

“He says he’s attending medical school.”

“You can hear that?”

“Yes, roughly?”

“That’s amazing…”

Can’t you hear it if you listen carefully? After having a conversation with Han Jiwon, I felt a strange déjà vu. If I think about it carefully, wasn’t it exactly the same reaction as Bae Taeseong?

As expected of X partners, they have the same reaction even in things like this. After laughing out loud for a while, I said the pancake would be ready soon so he should choose what he wanted to put on top, and Han Jiwon chose grilled banana after much consideration.

It was around the time Han Jiwon was rattling around taking out the sugar container, after I said you just need to cut the banana lengthwise, sprinkle sugar on top, and lightly grill it with a torch.

[The X Room is ready. If you wish to participate, please reply and we will send you the location of the X Room.]

Seeing that Jeon Yudam and Han Jiwon’s phones also vibrated at similar timing, it seemed that all participants had been contacted.

After checking the text content, Jeon Yudam tilted his head.

“X Room means… that, right? The space decorated with souvenirs and photos we received before entering.”

“Probably so.”

“Are you going, Jiwon hyung?”

Han Jiwon looked down at the screen for a long time, then shrugged his shoulders. He still had a smiling face, but seemed troubled somewhere.

“Well… should I go? Actually, after we broke up, I put all the things in a box and never opened it once. I delivered it to the production team as is, so I’m curious what was left.”

Perhaps becoming a bit more motivated while speaking, Han Jiwon soon sent a reply to the production team. Then he pulled down the hat he had placed beside him.

“Can I grill the banana after I come back?”

“Of course. Take your time.”

“I’m going too, but… aren’t you going, Sanho hyung?”

I had put my phone into my apron pocket after checking the text. Perhaps puzzled by my lack of consideration, Jeon Yudam tilted his head to the opposite side. He looked just like a puppy that heard a strange sound.

“Yeah. I’m not going.”

Perhaps because I answered too calmly, Han Jiwon, who was about to leave, stopped and turned around.

“…Sanho isn’t going?”

“It’s okay not to go, isn’t it?”

“The text did say that, but…”

“I don’t think there’s any particular need to see it.”

“Both sides contributed items, right? There should be things Chan hyung contributed too.”

“He barely brought anything.”

I answered while flipping the properly cooked pancake batter.

“Almost everything is my stuff. And since they’re things I always looked at and touched, I don’t think moving them somewhere else would give me any new impressions…”

Even if that were possible, I wasn’t particularly happy about it now. I didn’t want to be shaken by Lee Chan anymore. Whether in a good way or a bad way.

“You two hurry back.”

Jeon Yudam looked at his half-remaining pancake with very regretful eyes, then only left the dorm after receiving a promise that I would make one more when he returned.

After Kim Sehyeong, who was resting on the second floor, also left, I was the only one remaining in the dorm. It seemed everyone had gone to see the X Room.

‘I thought they were all cool personalities who didn’t know things like lingering attachment.’

Maybe they actually weren’t.

Before an hour passed, Han Jiwon returned first. It was shortly after Bae Taeseong had left.

“Jiwon hyung, now that you’re back I’ll turn on the lights… hyung?”

But Han Jiwon’s condition was strange. Wearing his hat pulled down low, he whispered “Just a moment” quickly, then hurried past the first-floor kitchen. He ran up the stairs in an instant and disappeared.

I stared at the stairway landing with my mouth agape.

“…Did he cry by any chance?”

It seemed like the area around his eyes was red.

Following him upstairs wouldn’t be proper. I decided to leave Han Jiwon alone for a while. Since it would take some time for the others to return too, I thought I’d rather finish making everything when everyone gathered, so I put down my apron and came outside the dorm.

While wandering around the area for a lap, I unintentionally met the members returning to the dorm. Bae Taeseong, who looked complicated inside and also a bit troubled. The calm Choi Eungi. Kim Sehyeong, whose eyes were slightly red like Han Jiwon’s. Hwang Yeonwoo, who looked slightly subdued. An Lei, who looked surprisingly comfortable. And…

‘Chan isn’t here yet.’

Did Lee Chan go to the X Room, or not?

What meaning did those 10 years of memories, which I had unilaterally kept, no, had been unable to throw away and held onto, have for Lee Chan?

At first, I was curious. I wanted him to see. Since I occupied most of your life, I hoped you would realize again that I was the only person who knew you best and could accept you best.

No matter how far you went around, if the final destination was me, I thought I could endure it. Because the reward received after waiting would be as sweet as it was bitter.

So I think I was expecting Lee Chan to go into that room and come back…

“Hmm.”

Strangely, I feel it doesn’t matter now.

Because now I won’t stand there waiting for you. Because your thoughts, your feelings, and my meaning within you are important but won’t be everything.

The fact that I’ve become someone who doesn’t cling to you alone like that anymore felt somehow admirable yet also unfamiliar.

So I felt relieved, regretful, awkward, empty, amazing, and… some indescribable feeling.

But it was okay. Because that ultimately meant Lee Chan was very slowly flowing out of me like the ebb tide after high tide. When the water that had risen to a suffocating degree slowly, slowly disappeared, I too would be given solid ground under my feet that wouldn’t give way.

I wanted to live well without you. I felt like I could live well.

While slowly moving my feet and calmly organizing such thoughts, my phone vibrated.

Thinking it might be a text from the production team, I was fumbling in my pocket when the vibration continued. It was a phone call.

“Woohyeon?”

– Hyung.

I could hear the sound of a bicycle bell ringing, suggesting he was outside.

– What are you doing?

“Just… taking a walk for a moment.”

The members had almost all returned, and Han Jiwon would have calmed down, so it was time for me to go in too.

But hearing Jin Woohyeon’s voice made me want to walk a bit more. I turned my feet and slowly walked down the downhill path.

Soon Jin Woohyeon asked a somewhat out-of-the-blue question.

– Did you cry?

“No?”

– You didn’t cry?

“Why would I cry? What would I have to cry about?”

– You cried when we first met, and then you were dejected the next time too…

“That’s past business.”

Thinking I might take a big lap, I went down further and came to a path that local residents frequently used. Walking along the neatly decorated ice cream shop, fruit shop, and convenience store, I saw some little kid riding a bicycle and zooming past.

“I didn’t cry.”

– You kept your promise well.

“Promise… ah.”

‘There’s nothing to apologize for, but could you make me one promise?’

‘What promise?’

‘Not crying over your ex until next week.’

We had talked about that during our last phone call. I answered with a small laugh.

“Yeah. I kept it well.”

– Good boy. Is there a gift you want to receive?

“What are you, Santa Claus?”

– I’ll be Santa just for hyung, you know.

“It’s April right now.”

– Anyway, try saying something. Buying you something is good, granting a wish is good too.

“I’ve never done this kind of thing so it’s really awkward…”

I pondered for a long time while feeling the wind, then made an effort to think of one.

“Let me fulfill one dream. It was one of my bucket list items, but I want to do it with you.”

Jin Woohyeon’s low laughter came through my ear.

– I’ll grant it. What is it?

Then and now, he says he’ll grant it without even knowing what it is. While thinking it was reckless and foolish, my heart tickled subtly at such blind kindness.

“Our restaurant opening next month.”

One of Yoo Sanho’s bucket list items.

“Would you be the first customer there?”

Expressing sincerity to someone I’ve always been grateful to, with food I made directly at my first job.

– I wonder if I deserve to enjoy that. Somehow it feels like I’m the one whose wish came true.

“Is there anything you can’t eat?”

– If hyung is preparing it for me, I’d have to eat it even if you served me gravel dipped in mud.

I began removing Lee Chan one by one from the picture I had drawn. Not just vaguely thinking about it, not repeatedly making meaningless resolutions.

“Just try not eating it. You have to eat everything I prepare for you.”

I was really starting to put it into action one by one.

– Ah, eating the plate too would be a first, how exciting.

“What are you saying?”