#28
When I thought about it, it wasn’t something completely incomprehensible.
It’s foolish to take a long detour when there’s an easy path available. Relieving the heat arising from heat cycles or rut cycles with a partner of the opposite trait was the most efficient method.
But even so, to sleep with an ex-lover who hadn’t even shown courtesy to him.
After crying so pitifully. After being so sad.
I know. Whether Yoo Sanho goes to find that damn ex-lover or finds a one-night partner, it’s not something Jin Woohyeon should be involved in. More precisely, he didn’t have the right to.
He was just anxious. Because of the weight of time that he couldn’t even imagine. Unlike himself, who naturally loved less and forgot easily, he knew Yoo Sanho was someone who poured his whole heart into love and hurt just as much.
Despite saying he had no thoughts of things working out, his heart kept turning in that direction, afraid that an opportunity might not come to him. Afraid that Yoo Sanho, who had been hovering before his eyes, would gradually drift away and eventually become so distant that not even coincidence could be expected.
If it started abruptly like a disaster, he wouldn’t be able to hesitate out of fear, so maybe he’d come to him pretending he couldn’t resist.
It was when he was about to greedily bite those lips that flowed with a fresh and sweet scent, unable to resist such selfishness.
“Save me……”
At that very precarious and fragile voice, like one a dying beast might make, Jin Woohyeon suddenly came to his senses. The thin body beneath his grip was trembling violently.
“Hyung.”
“I don’t like it…… I don’t like it, I don’t want it, please……”
It wasn’t simple refusal. Of course, even if it were just verbal rejection, he would have immediately come to his senses and apologized, but this was a much worse situation than that.
Yoo Sanho, who had turned pale, couldn’t even breathe properly. From his lips that had turned blue came the anxious sound of gasping breaths. His dilated pupils shook finely, unable to focus.
Sensing something was wrong, Jin Woohyeon pushed him against the wall. He held down his shoulders that were trying to bend forward, pressing them down like preserving them, then whispered urgently.
“Hyung. Breathe.”
“Heu……”
“I won’t do anything, please. Just breathe…… breathe properly. Okay?”
Cold sweat was beading on Yoo Sanho’s deeply bowed forehead. When he gently pressed down on his tensely rigid chest, breath burst out with a “puhah” sound. Only then did Jin Woohyeon also exhale a sigh of relief.
“One more time.”
“……”
“Good, hyung…… don’t shake your head.”
“Uh. Haa, ha……”
Jin Woohyeon persistently monitored that breathing, like someone barely rescued from drowning. Though it was somewhat better than before, the hyperventilation symptoms of still panting and swallowing breaths continued.
After pondering briefly, he slowly released his pheromones. Making sure he inhaled very little at a time so he wouldn’t be startled or frightened, he frantically observed the other person with darkly sunken eyes.
It wasn’t an easy task. No matter how excellent his self-control, Jin Woohyeon was also an Alpha. Before Omega pheromones flowing with explicit meaning, releasing only the tiniest amount of what he possessed was more difficult than expected.
But that didn’t mean he could act as his desires commanded. It seemed the reason for Yoo Sanho’s unusual reaction was probably due to sexual contact.
Eventually, the sufficiently spread Alpha pheromones calmed Yoo Sanho. Though he still seemed out of it, he wasn’t gasping as if he might stop breathing at any moment or turning deathly pale.
Jin Woohyeon caught his collapsing body as his knees gave out and seated him by the bedside.
“You were very startled. I’m sorry. I……”
“……Why.”
Jin Woohyeon’s eyes widened as he was about to say something.
“Hyung.”
Yoo Sanho was crying. Just as tears seemed to well up in his round, clear eyes, tears began dropping down his cheeks. He even sat there endlessly as if he didn’t know he was crying.
“Why did it have to be me?”
“……”
“Among so many people, is there a reason it had to be me and no one else? This can’t be love……”
At first I thought he was talking to me, but looking again, that wasn’t the case. His gaze, dampened with sorrow, passed by Jin Woohyeon toward somewhere far away, fixed on some point that he could never reach no matter how hard he tried.
“……Don’t you think it’s too cruel to take away the last family I have left?”
He couldn’t even dare to wipe away those tears. Because it seemed like the wounds exposed by his childish impatience were still bleeding without healing. Because his heart was breaking seeing Yoo Sanho still unable to adapt to that old pain.
“First…… get some sleep.”
Jin Woohyeon whispered in a choked voice.
“We’ll talk later…… rest, hyung.”
Eventually, Yoo Sanho fell asleep as if fainting from the pheromones that filled the entire living room and more.
Jin Woohyeon had to stare at his collapsed form for a long time.
* * *
When I opened my eyes again, not only outside the window but the entire room had become dark.
“Ugh……”
The moment I tried to turn my body, I felt lukewarm pain and involuntarily let out a groan.
“It’s okay.”
I heard the sound of cloth rustling, then a dry towel slowly wiped away the cold sweat beaded on my forehead.
“Want to sleep a little more?”
Jin Woohyeon was sitting by my bedside, quietly looking down at me.
“Close your eyes, hyung.”
When I obediently closed my eyes, a warmly dampened towel was placed over my closed eyes. It was thoroughly soaked with Jin Woohyeon’s pheromones, so it felt exactly like his hands were caressing around my eyes.
While I briefly dozed off, he went somewhere. Soon I could hear the sound of water pouring in the bathroom.
I woke up from sleep at a very slow pace and sat up. I also looked around while tightly holding the towel that hadn’t completely lost its warmth.
On the nightstand were several towels, drinking water, and an electric kettle. There was also a small plastic bottle of unknown purpose, which seemed to be a medicine bottle.
After looking around at everything, just as I was checking the time on my phone and looking to see if there were any missed contacts, Jin Woohyeon finally came out of the bathroom. Water drops were dripping from his wet bangs as he wore only a robe.
“Why are you awake?”
“Well……”
I had many things I wanted to ask. Because my memory from arriving at this hotel until fainting was hazy. More precisely, like chunks had been torn out from the middle, everything except a few specific scenes was completely dead.
But the moment Jin Woohyeon came close to me, I was so startled by the sudden chill that I completely forgot what I was going to say.
“Why is your body so cold?”
I urgently reached out and grabbed his wrist, which was ice-cold. The water drops beaded in his hair, and the moisture on his face and nape all boasted an unusual temperature.
“What are you going to do if you catch a cold washing with such cold water! Even though it’s April, mornings and evenings are still chilly!”
Then he smiled as if frowning.
“Who’s worrying about whom right now. You fainted again.”
“This time you made me faint too……”
“That is true, though.”
Jin Woohyeon settled into the chair by my bedside. His cold hand carefully caressed around my eyes.
“I had no choice. It’s better now, but my pheromones kept pouring out so I had to get a grip on myself.”
In other words, he did that to cool his body because my pheromones kept leaking out.
“You don’t need to be sorry.”
He spoke in a tone as if it was nothing serious.
“I’m not some beast bastard who would immediately pounce just because my body got heated. Though I almost did……”
“……”
“So I’m the one who should be saying sorry.”
Jin Woohyeon slowly knelt down on the floor by the bedside.
“Whatever the reason, whatever the situation, it was my fault. Acting on my own without properly asking for consent was definitely wrong…… I shouldn’t have done that.”
He bowed his head.
“I’m sorry, Sanho hyung.”
I silently opened and closed my mouth, then pressed it shut.
Since the other person sincerely apologized, it would be most appropriate to say it was okay…… but unfortunately, I wasn’t okay. I was very distressed because of the panic attack, and he seemed to know that too, as he didn’t seem to expect those words.
“I think there was a misunderstanding.”
Jin Woohyeon waited quietly while I took time to choose my words.
“Sleeping…… wasn’t what Woohyeon-ssi was thinking.”
“You just really wanted to sleep. Meaning you wanted to rest.”
“That’s right.”
“I…… was just anxious. Afraid that hyung might want to get back together with that person. If the two of you got back together like that before I could do anything…… I know, this is just an excuse. That doesn’t make my mistake go away.”
He apologized again while still kneeling.
“I’m sorry for scaring you.”
I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at Jin Woohyeon for a while, then reached out and patted his shoulder.
“……Isn’t it strange?”
“What’s strange?”
“I mean, trembling and being unable to handle a situation where we almost just kissed a little……”
“I think everyone fears different things.”
He raised his head to look up at me.
“I don’t really know how you came to be so afraid.”
“……”
“I’m certain about this one thing.”
He carefully took my hand. He placed his palm to support my hand and gently wrapped his four fingers around the back of my hand. While doing so, he quietly observed me with his dark eyes, as if gauging whether I disliked being touched like this.
“Whatever happened, it’s not hyung’s fault. Absolutely not.”
The coldness enveloping my hand, the warmth hidden within it.
“So there will never be anything like looking at hyung strangely.”
I was grateful enough to bring tears to my eyes.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
