Can Love Be Transferred Too? 108

#108

I suddenly became curious. What would it have been like if everything had gone according to Lee Chan’s plan?

Lee Chan, who appeared on the program, would have succeeded in acting out a fateful love, even showing himself firmly drawing a line with his clingy ex. The image and recognition he built up that way would have played a significant role in launching his own brand.

In that process, there would have been no employee exposé, no witness accounts from a certain club in Itaewon, no change of heart from me, and no variable like Jin Woohyeon.

If that had been the case, would Lee Chan have contacted me after the broadcast?

‘Absolutely not.’

Maybe he wouldn’t have even known that I had blocked him.

Lee Chan had always been like that, but now it looked newly shabby and ridiculous. Probably because I no longer liked him.

It’s really amazing. I thought I liked him because he seemed special, as if there were no one else like him in the world, but in reality, he only seemed special because I liked him so much.

Anyway, his contact, which meant nothing to me now, could be ignored as if I had never received it.

However, after thinking for a moment, I wrote and sent a reply.

Messages

Let’s meet tomorrow. 10 PM, I’ll go to the park in front of your house.

It wasn’t that I suddenly became curious about what he would say. It definitely wasn’t that I thought his troubles were my troubles and wanted to help solve them.

Even so, the reason I suggested meeting first was because I thought I should see his face at least once. To be honest, I was also worried that he, cornered as he was, might stir up trouble around me and create bothersome situations.

“I hope this will really be the last time.”

Time is truly frightening. It accumulates endlessly without us even realizing it, and no matter how much we try to remove it, it’s never easy.

But ironically, time is both the cause of lingering attachment and the medicine itself, so I would eventually succeed in completely removing Lee Chan from within me with the help of time.

You, who were once my everything, the owner of my pathetic lingering feelings, and who made me endlessly wander around wanting to become at least a memory.

After a very long time, even those few letters of your name would become a stranger that feels unfamiliar.

I believed that.

* * *

The next night, I came out to see Lee Chan at the appointed time.

I had left a message for Jin Woohyeon too. A text saying that I wouldn’t be going straight home after work but would be meeting Lee Chan, and that I would come right back after just having a conversation without any incident.

‘I wanted to hear his voice.’

Seeing that his phone was turned off, filming must have been in full swing. Would he finish late again tonight and return with a tired face? The schedule was more grueling than I had vaguely expected, so I couldn’t help but worry.

Still, I knew that he would come straight back to me once he finished his urgent work. That’s why even waiting was welcome.

“…”

When I spotted Lee Chan standing in front of a park bench, fatigue washed over me. Even though I hadn’t even properly greeted him yet.

Our eyes met. Lee Chan, who noticed me, furrowed his brow. He looked like a child who had been forced to swallow bitter vegetables.

“You came?”

Instead of answering, I looked at his face for a moment. There was something I learned even though I didn’t particularly want to know.

“You’ve lost weight.”

Even though it wasn’t a period when he would be particularly managing his appearance, his chin had become a bit more pointed than I remembered. It was because of his habit of skipping meals whenever something troublesome happened.

Well, the situation was indeed a mess. On my way here, I had looked up more internet articles and social media reactions, and the atmosphere was much more critical than I had thought. It was such an uproar that even Lee Chan’s mother, who considered his career as precious as life itself, wouldn’t just wait quietly.

“Why did you block me?”

Why, he asks. Was he really asking because he didn’t know? I stared at him blankly, a bit flustered, when Lee Chan ruffled his hair again and let out a deep sigh. His attitude was irritated, as if he didn’t like this situation.

“Anyway, it’s fine since you came out. That’s not what’s important.”

I just quietly watched him putting on his act. Looking around, thinking about something intently, steeling himself, sighing again, looking at me as if resenting me…

“Yoo Sanho.”

Even the sight of him kneeling down right there, I just watched without stopping or helping him.

“Please help me.”

“…”

“The brand launch is right around the corner, but public opinion is too bad. It’s not just our side, but even mother’s store is in complete chaos—they’re staying up all night dealing with backed-up customer service.”

Lee Chan added that he wasn’t asking for much.

“If we could just sort out the part that became noisy because of the Love Transfer appearance, it would be much better. It’s a problem that could be solved if you just say a few words.”

He looked up at me and said.

“I’m sorry for not telling you in advance. I didn’t know how to say it. Back then, I was only obsessed with the thought that I had to keep my distance from you…”

“…”

“I’ve been waiting only for this startup. I can’t let it collapse like this. If I can’t produce results this time, my position in the family too…”

Finding my continued silence strange, Lee Chan said with a frown.

“It’s not even that difficult a request. Right?”

I had imagined it once. What would it be like if Lee Chan begged me, saying he had wronged me and asking for help?

It wasn’t an easy thought to have about the cunning and confident him, but still, given what he had done, there were plausible aspects to it.

Now that this possibility had become reality.

“Help me, Sanho. I was wrong.”

There wasn’t the sense of satisfaction I had thought there would be.

It didn’t feel like being comforted, nor did I feel relieved. It was just an uncomfortable aftertaste, like the unpleasant feeling that comes after venting anger arbitrarily.

Maybe this wasn’t the comfort I was really hoping for. Because there was still no remorse in Lee Chan’s eyes. The regret that briefly passed was closer to regret about not handling this matter in time, rather than about me.

“You won’t listen even if I tell you to get up.”

I looked at him quietly and let out a shallow sigh. Then I slowly bent my knees and knelt down in the same position facing him.

“What should I do, Chan? I can kneel too.”

You’ve barely ever bent your pride in front of anyone, so just doing this much would not only be a tremendous concession but you’d even feel humiliated.

“You doing this isn’t as big a deal as I thought…”

Since we had both knelt once, it was essentially a draw.

“So even if you do this, I won’t help you.”

“Why?”

“That’s what I should be asking.”

I looked directly at Lee Chan and asked.

“Why should I help you?”

“…”

“I’m not your lover or friend anymore, so I don’t care how much trouble you get into.”

It wasn’t even an utterly unreasonable controversy. Most of it was like the underwater truth bursting out, so a few lies added wouldn’t cover it up.

“Don’t feel wronged.”

I smiled bitterly, reading the emotion in his eyes.

“Did you think it was natural because I was desperately devoted to you alone my whole life?”

If there was something neither you nor I knew, it was that my love wasn’t eternal.

“It wasn’t me who threw away what could have been—it was you, Lee Chan. You were the one who threw me, who endlessly circled around you wanting to treat you well, to the most miserable bottom and ignored me…”

Each time that happened, liking you became so difficult that I teared up countless times, and even if the whole world knew, you alone didn’t.

“You were also the one who slipped away as if it was all my fault and only looked back when you needed something.”

“…”

“If you really wanted me to help you, you should have knelt before filming even started.”

You should have begged then instead. Saying that you liked someone but wanted to appear on the program to promote your shopping mall. That I was your only ex, so you hoped I would sacrifice myself just once for your future.

If you couldn’t live for me, you at least shouldn’t have deceived me like that.

“You should have apologized instead of kneeling…”

“…”

“You should have been sorry for my sake, not for yours.”

But you didn’t do any of those things.

While I thought it was fortunate that you were consistent, I also felt empty on the other hand.

“If you weren’t going to help anyway, why did you suggest meeting?”

“To tell you never to contact me like this again.”

I slowly got up and said.

“Even if I know it’s you now, I won’t reply. I won’t come out, and naturally, there will be no helping you either.”

“Yoo Sanho.”

“But maybe it’s because of all the years we spent together? I can’t bring myself to do mean things to you with my own hands.”

I could grab anyone and spread rumors. That you cheated on me several times while dating me. That you transferred from me to An Lei. That after a unilateral breakup notice, you used me again for the purpose of promoting your shopping mall.

If just a few more stories like that were added to this atmosphere that’s starting to catch fire, your image becoming bad nationwide would be a foregone conclusion.

But not doing that was my final friendship and courtesy toward Lee Chan, with whom I had spent 20 years.

Lee Chan, who had been looking up at me blankly, muttered as if to himself.

“…You’ve changed.”