84.
Haseo wept as if his entire body was made of water. He cried and cried. Only when his tears had dried up and could flow no more did he let out painful groans. Seeing him, the old man sighed deeply and stubbed out his third cigarette.
“What an unfortunate fate.”
Having lived his life without caring about others, he didn’t know how to comfort someone who was crying. It was saddening that all he could do was silently watch from the side.
“Grandmother.”
Haseo’s voice came out rough and low from crying.
“Do you know where she is?”
Haseo scratched the wooden bench roughly with his nails. The crudely made wooden bench left his fingertips in a mess, but he preferred it that way. The pain sharpened his nerves, helping him stay focused.
“I don’t know that much. The body was taken from the hospital. A black car took it and disappeared. If anyone knows, it would be that guy you’re living with.”
“Why, why would he do this to me?”
A person who wouldn’t even give proper answers when Haseo said he liked him, now claimed to be his lover after Haseo was in ruins. On top of that, he had taken his grandmother’s body somewhere. Given these circumstances, nothing made sense.
“Hmm, I think I know a bit.”
The old man stubbed out a cigarette butt on the bench.
“It’s obsession.”
There was a time when he too was young, when he feared nothing and didn’t think about others. No, not just others—he was like that with his family too.
“No matter how fearsome a person is, in the end, they’re still human. Humans make mistakes and do foolish things.”
“What does that mean?”
Nothing changed from hearing those words. Haseo still couldn’t understand Choi Mujin. So he just laughed hollowly. But even though he laughed, it wasn’t really laughter.
“So what will you do?”
When Haseo silently looked at the old man, he folded down one of his raised fingers.
“First, you could run away and hide somewhere even now.”
“Where would I hide?”
With nothing to his name, where could he run?
“I’ll help you with that. I still owe you money, and I can at least help hide someone abroad.”
Though it wouldn’t be easy, the old man spoke as if it were simple.
“…And the second option?”
“What else? Go to him, grab him by the collar, and demand answers.”
“Would he tell me everything if I did that?”
“He might, or he might not. If you’re not careful, you could get caught and live in confinement forever. That guy’s obsession is something else. That’s how a thug like him climbed to his position. So, what will you do?”
The old man gave Haseo two choices.
“You can’t think about it for too long. You know that, right?”
Feeling suffocated, Haseo closed his eyes tightly and then opened them. Running away wasn’t a bad option. By going far away and hiding, he might be freed from Choi Mujin. But then what about his grandmother? What about his grandmother who couldn’t even be protected in death?
“Just to be clear, a corpse is a corpse. It’s not warm, it can’t get up to hug you, and it can’t call your name.”
“I know.”
Still, Haseo couldn’t abandon his grandmother. If she was dead, he felt he needed to at least see her body to find closure. So he decided to decline the old man’s offer.
“I’ll go back.”
“Tsk.”
Hearing the click of the tongue, Haseo faintly lifted the corners of his mouth.
“I’ll go back and ask. So you should leave this place too, Grandfather.”
“You’ve been calling me all sorts of disrespectful names, and now you call me Grandfather?”
“That’s because it’s a time like this.”
“Well, if that’s your choice, who am I to say anything? Take care.”
The old man got up and took out a large bag from under the bench. Then he slung it over his back and walked out through the gate.
He walked steadily, as if just going for a short walk, but in reality, he was leaving for good. In exchange for revealing the truth to Haseo, the old man had to leave his hometown. Yet, watching his receding back somehow looked refreshing, so Haseo decided to feel gratitude rather than regret. Then he looked at the old man’s house from the bench.
It seemed like he was planning to leave everything behind. In that case, Haseo decided to borrow just one item. He entered the house, found what he needed, and picked it up. Then he went out the door and retraced his steps. Far from recovering the energy spent getting here, he had depleted even more, making walking difficult. Still, he kept walking continuously, staggering like a zombie.
He felt the strange glances of villagers he passed by, but he didn’t stop. After walking for some time, a black car passed by him. No, it seemed to pass but then stopped and waited for Haseo.
As he approached, the car door opened, revealing a familiar face.
“Get in.”
It was Choi Mujin. Dressed in a dark suit and wearing leather gloves, he exuded a cold atmosphere. However, he didn’t seem to question why Haseo was here. Perhaps he had known that Haseo would come down here.
After quietly getting into the car, it started moving again. As usual, Park Dongsu was at the wheel. With no one speaking, the car was quiet. Though it had felt so far when walking, the journey back home was quick by car.
“We’ve arrived.”
Park Dongsu said this and got out to open the door. As Haseo weakly exited the car, unlike usual, Choi Mujin didn’t help him. He led the way into the house. Park Dongsu, who had bowed his head in greeting to Haseo, drove away with the car.
Choi Mujin didn’t close the door as he entered the house. Haseo stood looking at the open door before moving towards it. Upon entering, he saw Choi Mujin standing in the living room.
Seeing him, Haseo moved his lips several times but then closed them. Then he scratched the back of his hand hard with his fingertips. As his remaining intact nails scraped his skin, the pain brought clarity to his mind.
“Why did you do it?”
That was the first thing that came out.
“Do what? I’d appreciate if you could be more specific.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about Grandmother?”
“You were sick. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“Even if I was sick!”
Haseo raised his voice as if screaming.
“Knowing how much I care about Grandmother! Why!”
“Because I knew. With your unstable mental state, what good would come from knowing about your grandmother’s death?”
Choi Mujin looked at Haseo with calm eyes. He appeared terribly unmoved. What Haseo wanted wasn’t a rational answer.
“From the beginning.”
Choi Mujin was the start of all this. Haseo knew that thanks to him transferring his grandmother to a better hospital, she could receive better treatment. But were the subsequent issues with his grandmother and his father’s attack on him truly unrelated to Mujin? Mujin had many enemies, and those enemies often overestimated Haseo.
Just like when Sion handed him cookies and told him to feed them to Mujin. Maybe this was similar? If so, perhaps his grandmother’s death was his fault. He should have tried to repay the debt somehow and distanced himself from Mujin.
“Why did this happen?”
Haseo murmured blankly as he took a step back.
“I’ve been thinking. My father was always a garbage person. But even such a person wouldn’t harm someone without reason.”
Because he was someone who hated losing out on anything other than gambling.
“Why did my father try to harm me?”
“It seems you’ve roughly guessed the reason.”
“Someone who hates you bribed my father, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then was the sudden fire at the hospital also that person’s doing?”
“Probably.”
“And Grandmother.”
The more the conversation continued, the more maddening it became.
“Was her death also because of that?”
“What if it was?”
For the first time, Choi Mujin countered with a hypothetical. Haseo scratched the back of his hand harder. In truth, there was one more thing he desperately wanted to ask.
“What did you feel then? When Grandmother died and I was broken. Were you sad? Or did you regret it?”
“I regretted it.”
Surprised by the unexpected answer, Haseo looked at Mujin, who lifted the corners of his mouth and continued.
“That’s the answer you want, right?”
“Ah.”
It was the answer he wanted, but there was no truth in it. Choi Mujin had no regret whatsoever about what had happened. Without regret, there was also no sadness or guilt.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t give you the answer you want.”
“W-why not?”
“Because I’m inherently a rotten person. I’ll do anything to get what I want.”
“What do you want?”
“You.”
At Choi Mujin’s words, Haseo let out a hollow laugh.
“You want me?”
And he had been acting like that all this time? Reflecting on past events, nothing made sense.
“Sometimes, there’s love like that too.”
Anger surged to the top of his head. Don’t attach the name of love to something like that. Love is not like that. Love was the name given to the warm and gentle feelings that his grandmother had given to Haseo. To drive someone crazy like this and call it love!
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
