65.
“Well, did you sleep well?”
He surely hadn’t been this kind of person originally. Standing beside Park Dongsu, Haseo’s father was thoroughly intimidated and cowed. He kept glancing around nervously, but Haseo felt no sympathy. He wasn’t worthy of it.
“Yes.”
Haseo answered briefly, then got into Choi Mujin’s car. He had thought his father would ride in the same car, but apparently not. His father got into a separate car prepared by Park Dongsu.
“I doubt anything will happen, but if something does, let me know.”
Choi Mujin, holding the steering wheel, spoke to Haseo with a relaxed attitude.
“I will.”
Haseo nodded and looked out the window. Would his grandmother respond to his father’s voice? The thought that had been occupying his mind resurfaced. If she didn’t respond, he’d be disappointed, but even if she did, he didn’t think he’d feel good about it.
‘I’m the one who’s been by her side all this time.’
Haseo swallowed a sigh, hiding it from Choi Mujin. Once, he’d thought it would be enough if his grandmother just woke up. Why had he become so greedy now? He didn’t understand.
His grandmother’s hospital room looked a bit different when they visited again. A humidifier was running on the table, and the atmosphere felt warmer. The caregiver had also changed; as it turned out, they worked in shifts.
“He said it would be difficult for one person to be here all the time, so he told us to work in shifts. It’s rare to find someone so considerate—we’re grateful.”
The caregiver smiled gently as she spoke.
“But we share all information thoroughly with each other, so don’t worry.”
“…Thank you.”
What Haseo couldn’t do without money, Choi Mujin accomplished easily.
‘Who am I to…’
While grateful for Choi Mujin’s kindness, a lump remained in one corner of his heart. It felt like money he could barely repay was steadily increasing.
‘500,000 won per time.’
Haseo still remembered the words Choi Mujin had uttered. And whenever he recalled them, he’d anxiously bring his fingernails to his lips. Things were peaceful for now, but cracks that could shatter that peace always existed.
After greeting the caregiver, his father belatedly entered the hospital room. He scanned the room with a surprised expression before approaching his grandmother’s bedside.
“I’ll step out for a bit.”
As the caregiver left, only three remained. Park Dongsu hadn’t entered yet, but his father’s demeanor hadn’t particularly changed. He looked down at his grandmother with an expression no different from when they first met, making it impossible to read the emotions within.
After fumbling with his words a few times, his father finally spoke.
“Mother.”
With an awkward attitude, his father carefully touched his grandmother’s limp hand.
“I’m here. Your son, Lee Jeongin, is here.”
Haseo blankly watched his father’s actions. The man who had never used honorifics with his grandmother while she was conscious was acting surprisingly well. Pretending to be an affectionate son longing for his mother, watching him suddenly made Haseo’s eyes burn.
‘He could have been this kind of person all along.’
Why had he inflicted such wounds on his family? Haseo pressed his hand firmly against his eyes.
“You should…”
His mouth opened without realizing it.
“You should act like you normally do.”
Grandmother had never heard kind words from this person. She might not even recognize this speaker as her son.
“W-what?”
His father turned to look at Haseo, clearly flustered.
“You’re not that kind of person.”
“Haseo?”
“Don’t call my name. You always called me ‘this bastard’ or ‘that bastard.’ Did you ever use honorifics with Grandmother? You were always angry and violent.”
His father’s expression gradually crumbled. But it was a look of unjust accusation, which made part of Haseo’s heart collapse in frustration.
“If you act like that, Grandmother will—!”
Haseo’s voice rose higher and higher until he suddenly realized he was in a hospital room. Plus, his grandmother was lying on the bed. He had lost control and gotten angry, forgetting the situation.
‘I shouldn’t do that.’
Haseo firmly closed his mouth, looked down at the floor, then tugged on Choi Mujin’s sleeve.
“I need to… I need to step out for a moment.”
Choi Mujin looked at Haseo with an unreadable expression but soon nodded. As soon as he received permission, Haseo immediately fled the hospital room. Park Dongsu was guarding the door, and Haseo quickly asked for his understanding too.
“I’m just stepping out for a bit. I got permission!”
“What? Oh, yes!”
Fortunately, Park Dongsu didn’t follow Haseo. Haseo walked forward aimlessly until he hit a wall and finally stopped.
“Huh, huuk.”
Tears that had begun to flow without his knowing streamed down his cheeks. He thought he had steeled his heart, but it seemed his weakness hadn’t disappeared. Haseo pressed his forehead against the wall and cried bitterly.
“Are you alright?”
Someone passing by spoke to him, but he couldn’t answer. He just cried, and cried, and cried more. As he poured out his emotions with his tears, suddenly something covered his head. Feeling it with blurry vision, it seemed like a suit jacket. Then a strong hand pulled Haseo into an embrace.
‘It’s Choi Mujin.’
The familiar body scent was so familiar. Haseo wiped his streaming tears on the clothes between gasps. And somehow he tried to collect his emotions. At that moment, Choi Mujin’s soft voice fell near his ear.
“Cry more.”
Why did such a simple phrase make him feel so reassured? Only then could Haseo finally stop his tears.
“I-I’m sorry.”
Haseo sniffled while clutching the suit jacket tightly. Because of this, he couldn’t see properly in front of him, but Choi Mujin held him and walked slowly.
“Where are we going?”
“Where do you want to go?”
“Grandmother. To Grandmother.”
He had left in anger, so he needed to apologize.
“Then, let’s go.”
Choi Mujin brought Haseo back to the hospital room. He took off the suit jacket and also handed him a slightly damp handkerchief.
“You carry a handkerchief too?”
“It comes in handy surprisingly often.”
At the calm voice, Haseo’s heart gradually found peace. After wiping his eyes with the handkerchief, he felt a bit better. His face was still a mess, but his grandmother couldn’t see it anyway. Only his voice needed to come out properly.
“Where’s my father?”
“Park Dongsu took him away.”
He didn’t want to see his face again, so that was good. Haseo regulated his breathing and carefully entered the hospital room. Despite all that commotion, the atmosphere inside hadn’t changed at all. His grandmother was still asleep in the quiet hospital room.
“Grandmother.”
Pulling a nearby chair close and sitting on it, Haseo looked at his grandmother. He felt like he should say something, but no words came to mind. So what came out was briefer than expected.
“I love you.”
I really love you. You’re all I have. I can’t go on without you.
Haseo swallowed the tears that threatened to flow again and silently kept his seat. Choi Mujin didn’t rush him and waited patiently. How many hours passed like that? Only then did Haseo finally stand up.
“Let’s go back.”
“Alright, let’s go back.”
They left the hospital room and went down to the parking lot.
“By the way, Haseo.”
“Yes?”
“Do you need your father?”
Haseo looked up at Choi Mujin. Though he spoke casually, Haseo understood what his words meant. Depending on how he answered here, his father’s fate would be decided. Haseo’s lips parted, then closed.
“You can think about it and tell me later.”
“No, I’ll tell you now. My father, I need him for now.”
If someone knew Haseo’s thoughts, they might point fingers and call him the most unfilial son in the world. But so what? At least he wasn’t saying to get rid of him. Even such a father still had some use.
“I want to bring him to meet Grandmother again.”
Choi Mujin nodded.
“Then what about your mother?”
“My mother? Did you find her too?”
Haseo raised his voice in surprise.
“I found her.”
“…How is she living?”
“She met another man and formed a new family.”
Hearing this, his heart sank. But before long, Haseo couldn’t help but understand such a mother. She was human too and must have wanted happiness.
“How did she look?”
“I heard she’s doing well. She has another child.”
“A child, I see.”
Now Haseo wasn’t his mother’s only child. Haseo stood blankly in front of the car before speaking again.
“I think it’s better not to see my mother again.”
Perhaps seeing Haseo again would be painful for his mother. If so, it was better not to meet. Unlike his father, he had received love from his mother. Apart from his grandmother, she was the only one who had prepared his meals and taken care of him.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
So he decided to harden his heart. After all, Haseo’s situation wasn’t that great either. It was best not to get involved with someone like Choi Mujin.
“I’m an adult now.”
Haseo smiled gently at Choi Mujin. Being an adult didn’t mean he didn’t know loneliness, but it seemed like this was what he needed to be right now.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
