109.
Therefore, there was only one answer Haseo could give.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Alright.”
Choi Mujin seemed satisfied just that Haseo wasn’t saying he would leave the house right away. But this problem couldn’t be dragged out indefinitely. Haseo swallowed a sigh and rubbed his heavy chest with his hand.
Her round eyes sparkled like stars. Jung Nara, the boss he met again after a long time, listened to Haseo’s words until the end and became very excited.
“So? What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know, that’s why I’m consulting you.”
“Ah, right.”
Jung Nara cut the steak Haseo had bought and stuffed it into her mouth. And while chewing it, she mulled over his story.
“So your boyfriend committed quite a lot of unforgivable acts in the past. And you can’t fully express your feelings of love because you’re bothered by that? Even though he’s treating you well now?”
“Yes.”
Though he couldn’t tell the specific circumstances and had skipped many parts, Jung Nara had grasped the core.
“Did he hit you?”
“He didn’t use physical violence.”
“Hey, verbal violence is also violence, right? That didn’t happen either?”
“That did happen.”
“What a bastard.”
“He’s not wrong about that.”
Haseo nodded.
“Do you want revenge?”
“It’s not that I don’t, but it’s strange.”
“Right, it really is strange. If it were me, I would have slapped him at least and broken up. But our Haseo is gentle. Or how about throwing water on him?”
“Would that be okay?”
“As long as there’s a guarantee the other person won’t sue you. But no matter how much of a bastard he is, would he do that much?”
Choi Mujin suing him for being slapped… He’d be lucky if he didn’t push his face forward asking to be hit more. Haseo quietly shook his head.
“So you won’t do it.”
“Right, and besides, I’ve never been hit, so would it be right to hit first?”
“That’s true too. But he really was a bastard. Words alone won’t make him understand. He needs to get badly burned himself to realize. I haven’t dated much, but still.”
Would Choi Mujin really get hurt if Haseo acted like that? Even when he first came back home and acted selfishly, Choi Mujin was calm. He didn’t say anything no matter what Haseo did.
“Or how about causing a big incident once?”
“What kind of incident?”
“Meet someone else.”
“Wouldn’t that be a bit dangerous?”
“Who would be in danger? You? Or the other person?”
Both. Haseo couldn’t bring himself to say it and just mumbled, but Jung Nara seemed to understand.
“Hey, if it’s that bad, just really break up. Your noona is being serious, okay? Is it because you have nowhere to stay? Then stay at my place for now. You can work while staying there.”
“Noona, I’m a guy.”
“Who doesn’t know you’re a guy? So are you going to attack me? No, right? And I’ve been living with my younger brother since last time. Don’t worry.”
He decided to decline Jung Nara’s recommendation.
“Still, try saying you want to break up once. See how he reacts and then decide. No, more than that, it doesn’t seem like you properly said you wanted to date in the first place. Why should you have to say you want to break up?”
“You’re right.”
It was something that required firm resolve, but Haseo decided to accept that part. Let’s try saying we should break up. Since he had become able to handle everything on his own. Only now did he finally have courage.
“I hope things go well for you, noona.”
“They will. I’ve been writing well lately.”
Jung Nara nodded while primly wiping her dirty mouth.
“Cheer up.”
Those few words were truly encouraging.
That day, Haseo went home and packed all his belongings. He put important things in a bag and stored it in a locker at a nearby subway station. Then he bought ingredients for dinner and cooked with more care than usual. Making everything frantically, he ended up with quite a lot of dishes.
“The taste is fine.”
Even in his absent-minded state, his body seemed to have moved by instinct. He cooled the side dishes, put them in containers in the refrigerator, and closed the lid of the pot containing soup. Then he welcomed Choi Mujin, who had come home from the company for once.
“Welcome back.”
Choi Mujin, who had entered with an expressionless face, smiled with raised lips as soon as he saw Haseo.
“I’m back. It smells delicious.”
“I prepared dinner.”
“Good, I was hungry.”
“Um… I have something to talk about before dinner.”
“Something to talk about?”
Choi Mujin keenly observed Haseo’s expression.
“If you have something to say, I should listen.”
Choi Mujin obediently entered and sat on the living room sofa, facing Haseo.
“Um.”
Haseo hesitated for a moment while intertwining his fingers. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t afraid of what would happen afterward. But he thought this was also absolutely necessary.
“About us.”
“Us. That’s a nice word.”
“We’re not dating, are we?”
“I thought we were dating.”
Choi Mujin spoke nonchalantly while loosening his tie with his fingers.
“I never said I wanted to date.”
“Isn’t that what lovers are originally like? Who openly says they want to date these days? If you hit it off, you just go with it.”
“Then I guess I’m not a modern person.”
Choi Mujin stared intently at Haseo, who spoke bitterly.
“Haseo, Lee Haseo. You really can’t stand it anymore?”
“…Yes.”
“But I can’t do without you. Still no good?”
“No good. We…”
Haseo took a deep breath.
“Let’s break up.”
He didn’t know what effect this would have.
“I don’t understand.”
“I like you, hyung. But the entire time I liked you, it was too painful.”
“That won’t happen anymore.”
“That’s not the problem. It’s in the past, but it keeps staying in my heart. I can’t fully like you.”
A moment of silence flowed between them. Choi Mujin slowly reached out and opened the bag beside him. Then he took out a long rectangular case from inside and pushed it toward Haseo.
“Open it.”
As he held the case and opened it as instructed, Haseo’s hands began to tremble. It wasn’t normal to be this afraid of someone you love. Inside the case was a knife with a long blade and short handle. It looked like a decorative piece with delicate craftsmanship, but looking closely, the blade was sharply edged.
“Why this?”
Choi Mujin took the case back from Haseo and took out the knife inside. Then, holding it, he brought it down on his own hand on the table.
“Ah!”
The scream burst from Haseo’s mouth. It seemed it wasn’t just decoration as it appeared, as the sharp blade penetrated Choi Mujin’s hand. His heart sank at the red blood seeping out slowly.
“Haseo.”
Even in such a situation, the words coming from Choi Mujin’s mouth were soft and gentle.
“You absolutely can’t forgive me?”
Now not only his hands but his whole body began to tremble. He wanted to jump up and run away, but his body wouldn’t move as if held by something.
“Haseo, you have to answer.”
“Why.”
The voice he forced out sounded strange.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because you said you can’t forgive me.”
“B-but who stabs their hand with a knife!”
As he spoke, his body finally began to move slowly.
“I’ll call 119, so don’t pull out the knife!”
He said this because of what he had seen and heard, and just as he was about to get up to get his phone from another room, Choi Mujin pulled the knife out of his hand. Red blood gushed through the torn flesh. Looking down at it without emotion, he brought the knife down again.
“Sit down. If you get up, I’ll do it again.”
At those words, Haseo sat back down obediently on the sofa.
“Are you crazy?”
“I’m doing this so I won’t go crazy.”
“What kind of ridiculous excuse is that? Hurry, you need to go to the hospital quickly!”
“We need to resolve our matter before that.”
“Our matter…!”
“Haseo, can you absolutely not forgive me?”
Only then did Haseo succeed in grasping the current situation with his dulled mind. Choi Mujin was holding himself hostage and threatening Haseo.
“If you resent me, you can stab me too. If the hand isn’t enough, other places are fine too.”
No. Haseo didn’t want to kill Choi Mujin. He wanted to somehow take away the knife in Choi Mujin’s hand.
Haseo took deep breaths and tried to calm his mind somehow. Perhaps it was effective, as his trembling subsided more than before. The matter would be resolved if he said he would forgive Choi Mujin, but he didn’t want to do that. Haseo also knew that forgiveness wasn’t done this way.
Then how should he act here? Haseo bit his lips firmly. Get up from his seat again, get his phone, call 119, and leave the house. Fortunately, he had taken important belongings outside, so once he left, he wouldn’t have to come back.
Haseo mustered courage, jumped up, and ran to the room. He tried not to care about whatever sounds came from behind. The first thing he did as soon as he grabbed his phone was call 119.
As soon as the call connected, he gave the situation and address and hung up. He should have stayed on the line, but if he did that, he would miss the time to run out of the house.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
