Chapter 96
‘Why am I here…’
Suddenly, as if splashed with cold water, my mind snapped back to clarity. Almost reflexively, words burst out. Though I had no intention of startling anyone, the nurse who was about to take my blood pressure let out a small cry and dropped the measuring device.
“How many hours have passed? What about the battle? Is it over?”
“Please calm down, Su-hyeon-ssi.”
The doctor rushed to calm me, but my heart rate had already spiked dramatically. Fearing I might leap out of bed, the doctor blocked my way and quickly continued:
“The joint team returned two days ago.”
I was shocked to hear those words.
“Two days ago?”
I thought at most an hour or two had passed, but they returned two days ago? Then how long had I been like this?
“What about Ji-hyeok? Is Ji-hyeok safe?”
“Yes. Esper Song Ji-hyeok is safe.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Contact him later.”
The doctor’s voice was calm. Judging by his steady gaze and suggestion to contact Ji-hyeok later, it didn’t seem like a lie.
‘Of course. Song Ji-hyeok wouldn’t get hurt so easily. He has the ability to endure until the very end.’
Finally, I calmed my startled heart and regained composure. But it took more time for my heart rate to settle. In the meantime, I had a multitude of questions but had to wait quietly. The doctor had strictly ordered me to stay calm without even opening my mouth until the basic examination was complete.
About five minutes later, the nurse took my blood pressure again and checked my pupils with a penlight. For some reason I couldn’t understand, she even examined the inside of my mouth before withdrawing. As soon as I regained my freedom, I poured out questions, and the doctor calmly answered them all.
“You were transported via teleport, and your internal damage was severe. The fractures have healed and the bleeding has stopped, but you need absolute rest for the time being.”
“The cause of the bleeding…”
“It’s presumed to be from guiding aftereffects.”
“…I see.”
Even though I had already suspected it, actually hearing from the doctor that it was likely due to guiding aftereffects made me feel complicated. There was another hard-to-believe fact: the joint team had returned two days ago, and I had been transported three days earlier than that, which meant I had opened my eyes after a full five days.
When I fell silent, the doctor spoke first this time.
“Should I call Esper Song Ji-hyeok?”
“No, I’ll do it.”
The words burst out hastily, as if I’d been doused with water. The doctor, not surprised, continued calmly.
“He earnestly requested to be notified as soon as you woke up. He must be very worried, so I think it would be good to contact him right away.”
“…Yes. I understand.”
After once again emphasizing the need for absolute rest, the doctor left the room. Left alone, I slowly lowered my head.
Despite the room seeming well-heated, my fingertips were ice-cold, and my heart was beating unpleasantly fast. Soon, an indescribable anxiety enveloped my entire body. It was because of the confirmation I never wanted to hear.
‘It’s presumed to be from guiding aftereffects.’
Unless he was a fool, Song Ji-hyeok would have realized it immediately. The issue was the severity of the aftereffects. Having witnessed me collapse while coughing up blood, I couldn’t imagine how shocked he must have been. Worries and questions derived from that realization rushed in like a storm.
There had been a three-day gap between my evacuation and the end of the battle—had Song Ji-hyeok received proper guiding during that time? Most likely Choi Young-sun had provided it? Had he suffered from accumulated unsettled energy?
The last image I had of Song Ji-hyeok in the tent flickered before my eyes. Though I knew I should contact him immediately now that I was conscious, my hands seemed to have a mind of their own and wouldn’t move.
The reason was… fear. I recalled when Song Ji-hyeok had previously asked, “Senior, do you have any guiding side effects?” and I had confidently answered no. I felt like slapping myself for being so foolish then.
‘I should have at least left room for possibility, saying there might be some later even if not immediately.’
Even when symptoms suspected to be aftereffects appeared later, I cowardly didn’t tell Song Ji-hyeok about them. So he wouldn’t have had any idea, but having seen his paired Guide collapse right before his eyes at the most critical time, he must have felt considerable betrayal. Just imagining him looking at me with a colder, more contemptuous gaze than when we first met was painfully heart-freezing.
But I couldn’t just keep quiet forever. It was obvious that my awakening would be reported one way or another, so it was right to contact Song Ji-hyeok now, before that happened.
I noticed a phone and device neatly placed on the bedside table, though I didn’t know who had put them there. Both were completely discharged and needed time to charge. During that time, my avoidance instinct activated again. The only thoughts in my mind were regrets unlike my usual self.
If only I had conserved my energy by not providing guiding to other Espers on site. If only I had somehow managed to eat better and taken better care of my condition. If only I had trusted the Espers guarding the base camp and not engaged in battle.
No. If only I had told Song Ji-hyeok the truth when the side effects first appeared…
Just as I was digging myself into a bottomless hole of regret.
Drrrrr-
The hospital room door opened roughly, breaking the silence. I looked up and was startled. The person who had occupied most of my thoughts since regaining consciousness was standing at the door.
“Senior Su-hyeon!”
Song Ji-hyeok closed the distance instantly and came near. Gripping the side rail as if he might break it, he urgently asked:
“Are you okay? Do you recognize who I am?”
“Of course I do.”
“What’s my name then?”
If the situation had been even slightly less serious, I might have joked, but now wasn’t the time, so I answered without hesitation.
“My paired Esper, Song Ji-hyeok.”
Only then did he, who had been looking at me desperately, collapse into a chair. I noticed that the side rail he had been holding was dented from how much force he’d applied.
After letting out a deep sigh with his arms resting on his thighs, Song Ji-hyeok met my eyes again. I thoroughly examined his entire body to ensure his well-being. At least outwardly, I couldn’t find any problems.
“Are you hurt anywhere? Is your condition okay?”
“Yes. As you can see, I’m fine.”
Even his slightly grumbling tone as usual made me feel nothing but grateful. The guilt from not being able to fulfill my guiding responsibilities until the end was already substantial; if he had been injured during my absence, I literally wouldn’t have been able to hold my head up.
“What about you? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. As you can see, I’m fine too.”
“…Fine, my ass.”
I let out an awkward laugh at his deliberate mutter. I tightly gripped the blanket on the bed with both hands. The truth was, I wasn’t in the mood to laugh at all, but if I didn’t do this, I felt like my expression would completely crumble.
After rubbing my face with dry hands, I continued in a voice full of apology.
“You must have been really shocked?”
Despite the vague sentence, Song Ji-hyeok understood perfectly and grumbled.
“Of course. I thought my liver was going to drop out. No, it did drop out and then came back to its place.”
Though his tone was joking, this time I couldn’t even fake a laugh. Whether from remorse or guilt, my heart ached as if being jabbed with needles.
Looking at me, Song Ji-hyeok casually added another comment. His lips held a playful smile.
“You look like a super gloomy squirrel right now.”
“A squirrel this time? And I’m a carnivore.”
“Looks like all carnivores have frozen to death.”
Soon, Song Ji-hyeok put away his smile and quietly looked at me. In that gaze, I didn’t feel the contempt or anger I had worried about. There was only solemnity.
“No need to feel down. It’s not like you collapsed on purpose, and from what I’ve heard, over 90 percent of Guides suffer from some form of aftereffects, so you’re just one of them.”
Though his tone seemed indifferent at first glance, I could feel it. Right now, Song Ji-hyeok was comforting me, telling me that my collapse wasn’t my fault and that I didn’t need to act like a criminal.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
