Chapter 76
‘He threw up right after guiding.’
‘If that’s his reaction to just holding hands, what more could he do? I’d feel disgusted receiving guiding from him too.’
I remembered Song Ji-hyeok’s words when asked about how guiding with Choi Young-sun was. And his expression full of displeasure and irritation.
When the senior confidently answered that there were no after-effects, I couldn’t show any problems now.
“How is it?”
“It’s fucking tantalizing.”
His grumbling actually reassured me. Feeling tantalizing meant that while the quantity was lacking, the guiding itself was working properly.
It would be great if things naturally returned to normal from here, but unfortunately, that didn’t happen. The energy flowing to Song Ji-hyeok, half voluntarily and half involuntarily, continued.
How much time had passed? Now my vision was wavering, and I even felt dizzy. Before it became unmanageable, I spoke to Song Ji-hyeok.
“Sorry, but can we stop here for now? I didn’t sleep well, so I feel like I’m going to die of sleepiness.”
I knew it was a poor excuse, but I couldn’t think of any other reason to stop guiding immediately. Even this, I wouldn’t have thought of if it weren’t for someone snoring loudly nearby.
I even forced out a yawn that wouldn’t come naturally, and Song Ji-hyeok laughed in disbelief.
“So, you’ve caught your fish, huh?”
How nice it would be if I could think that confidently. I’m still anxious, worried the fishing line might break and the fish might escape.
“Yeah. It’s my fish.”
I answered playfully, hiding my true feelings, and Song Ji-hyeok made a disgusted face. But soon he smiled and let go of my hand first. Even though I had said “let’s stop here” first because it was difficult, I felt a sense of regret as his body heat moved away. It was probably closer to self-reproach for not fulfilling my role properly.
“Get ready for later, seriously.”
Then Song Ji-hyeok crossed his arms loosely and closed his eyes. Leaving the narrow space, I tried to return to my seat. Barely managing to move while gripping the headrest of the front seat tightly, I swallowed two more painkillers.
I also closed my eyes with a grimace. The claim about not sleeping well was true. I wondered if I could fall asleep with such a bad headache, but fortunately, I dozed off not long after.
***
“Get ready for later, seriously.”
Song Ji-hyeok faithfully carried out his words, which sounded like a declaration of war. What I mean is, as soon as we got off the bus that arrived at the guild, he grabbed my hand and headed for the guiding room.
My expression wasn’t entirely pleased. Thankfully, I felt my condition had improved a bit after getting some good sleep, but the fear of the reverse guiding-like sensation still remained. So when Song Ji-hyeok rushed in for a kiss, I couldn’t push him away but just squeezed my eyes shut.
To cut to the chase, the guiding ended without incident. When I cautiously let the energy flow while feeling very tense, for some reason, it moved well according to my will this time.
After confirming that there were no particular problems even after 1-2 minutes had passed, I finally felt relieved. In fact, it wasn’t a perfect condition, but everything in the world is relative. Compared to the headache I experienced in the car, this level of pain didn’t even qualify as hurting, so I ignored the mild pain and focused only on guiding.
The power of guiding through sex was proven again today. Song Ji-hyeok separated from me after two ejaculations inside me, and even at a glance, his face seemed to be glowing. The urgent and anxious look he had when coming to the guiding room was nowhere to be seen.
This time, he wore a condom, so the cleanup was relatively easy. As I slowly got dressed, Song Ji-hyeok asked,
“What are you going to do now?”
“I have to write a report.”
“Aren’t you going to the skill training room?”
“…Do you think I can? I can barely straighten my back right now.”
It hadn’t even been 10 minutes since I was released from being shaken frantically on the bed. When I said this, half-jokingly and half-seriously, Song Ji-hyeok shrugged as if in regret. However, the slight upward curve of his lips showed that he was in quite a good mood.
“Alright. Let’s have dinner together later then.”
With that, Song Ji-hyeok left, and I walked to the sofa and slumped down.
There was actually another reason besides physical stamina for refusing to go to the training room. Soon, I was lost in various thoughts with a very stiff expression.
When we first set out, my condition was very good. As soon as I saw the dungeon, I analyzed its characteristics and tried to contribute to the team’s strength by fully utilizing the knowledge condensed in my head. Thanks to that, I remember entering quite smoothly.
The personal setback occurred when I started feeling a terrible headache. At first, I thought it was due to the stuffy air. It was a perfectly sealed space without a single point of light, and the smell of monster blood and corpses got worse over time. It made sense that my head would hurt after wandering in such a place for hours.
But as the days passed, an instinctive uneasiness spread that ‘maybe it’s not just because of that.’ It was because I suddenly realized one thing. Even if I got some sleep or took medicine and felt better, there was a moment when it reverted back to square one. It was after I gave guiding to Song Ji-hyeok in the evening.
I didn’t know on the first day, vaguely grasped it on the second day, and pretended not to know on the third day. I kept telling myself that the cause of the headache was indeed the stuffy air and fishy smell, and that it recurring in the evening was just a coincidence. That it would clear up completely once we left the dungeon. I repeated it like a mantra to myself.
But reality was different from my wishes. Even until the moment I got in the car after seeing the gate disappear, the headache showed no signs of subsiding. Moreover, when I gave guiding to Song Ji-hyeok in the car, I even felt dizzy. That was clearly a side effect of guiding.
“Haah…”
I covered my eyes with my palms, sighing deeply. My mind was still in a jumbled mess.
As I thought briefly earlier, there were no guiding side effects or aftereffects even when Song Ji-hyeok’s condition was worse than today. The same was true the next time, and the time after that. There was a feeling of physical fatigue after guiding, but that was natural since energy was consumed. Then my thoughts would return to the starting point of the algorithm and repeat endlessly.
Sighing again, I leaned back on the sofa as if lying down. Only my posture had changed, but my complicated mind remained the same. Even if I wanted to find an answer, I couldn’t grasp a clear cause-and-effect relationship on my own.
The person who could help me in this situation…
Someone’s face came to mind. It did come to mind, but I didn’t have the courage to easily take steps. It was still because of conflicting thoughts.
While medical visit records and counseling contents are basically kept confidential, they can be reported to higher-ups at the doctor’s discretion. Even if it ended as a simple consultation, there was another problem.
Would people who encounter me near the infirmary really keep their mouths shut? I could bet my entire fortune that they wouldn’t. Whispers like “The pair guide of an S-class Esper went into the infirmary” or “came out of there” were likely to spread like wildfire and be distorted in a negative way.
But what if, just what if, it really was a guiding side effect…
‘Aaargh!’
I felt like screaming out loud at this infuriating loop. While pulling at my hair in frustration and screaming internally, I suddenly lifted my head.
‘Alright. Let’s go.’
I felt like I needed to grasp at straws before my head exploded. I quickly got up and hurried out of the guiding room before I could change my mind.
The infirmary was a space that clearly showed the advantages of its southern exposure. Even with the blinds drawn tightly, it felt bright, warm, and gentle.
But I couldn’t hide a strange tension. Perhaps because in my narrow-minded perception, the infirmary was strongly associated with a place you go when injured, I automatically imagined the smell of disinfectant that wasn’t even present.
“Hello.”
I bowed to Doctor Oh Hye-yeon, who greeted me with a smile, and approached closer. As soon as I sat down across from her, a question came.
“What brings you here?”
Even as she asked, her eyes quickly scanned my body. She was probably checking if I was injured somewhere.
“Well…”
It would be right to state my business quickly, but now that I was here, I found it hard to speak. Uncharacteristically, I hesitated for a moment before finally opening my mouth.
“I’d like to have a consultation.”
“Hmm, just a moment. I’ll bring you a cup of tea.”
The doctor smiled brightly and stood up. Soon, there was a clinking sound as a teacup was placed on a saucer, and strong steam puffed out from the electric kettle that was turned on. As the doctor tilted the kettle towards the cup, a subtle tea fragrance spread.
