Chapter 104
“Ah…”
A short groan escaped from the Manager’s lips. It was just one syllable, but it fully conveyed his helpless distress.
As for me… I was doing better than expected. Lowering my expectations to rock bottom by assuming the worst-case scenario had been a good decision in the end.
Instead, all my concern was directed toward Song Ji-hyeok. When I managed to turn my head to look beside me, Song Ji-hyeok had his eyes wide open and his mouth agape. Though I’d known him for over half a year, I’d never seen this expression before.
The overwhelming guilt prevented me from daring to speak. After a few seconds, Song Ji-hyeok looked at the Manager and me with an expression of disbelief and spoke.
“What… what is this?”
His gaze repeatedly turned toward the monitor as if he couldn’t believe it. But the numbers wouldn’t have changed in that short time.
“No, how…”
The Manager stepped in to explain the situation when Song Ji-hyeok couldn’t continue.
“Sometimes a Guide’s matching rate drops significantly after experiencing serious guiding side effects.”
But Song Ji-hyeok didn’t seem to accept this easily.
“Even so, does it make sense for it to drop this much? You’re saying one side effect caused it to drop by nearly 20 percent?”
“…While it’s not common, there are cases.”
“Ha, shit.”
Song Ji-hyeok let out a bitter laugh while almost tearing at his hair with one hand. Then he paused for a moment and looked at the monitor again.
Soon, with a face that seemed to say “that explains it,” his eyes lit up, and he rapidly spoke.
“I think there’s a machine error. Let’s run the test again.”
“What are you suddenly…”
“Here.”
His hand pointed to a part of the monitor. When I saw what he was referring to, I squeezed my eyes shut. I felt utterly devastated, torn to pieces.
“Here, don’t you see this? It says D-rank Guide. But Senior Su-hyeon is C-rank.”
“…”
“So let’s do the test again. Please do it properly this time.”
When no one responded, Song Ji-hyeok became even more assertive. He looked like he might enter the capsule on his own accord, so the Manager finally intervened.
“Esper Song Ji-hyeok.”
“What are you doing? Right now…”
“Esper Song Ji-hyeok.”
Only after his name was called again in a firm voice did Song Ji-hyeok close his mouth. I still couldn’t look him straight in the eye and just kept my head down. The Manager suggested we change locations and walked ahead first. Left alone, Song Ji-hyeok looked at me.
“Even now, if you say we should redo the test, the Manager will listen to you…”
“No.”
I cut off Song Ji-hyeok’s words before he could finish. I knew my body’s condition best. The results wouldn’t change even if we redid the test ten times.
“Let’s go talk first. The Manager is waiting.”
I forced a smile and turned around first. The atmosphere in the Manager’s office where we faced each other was suffocatingly heavy and burdensome.
Once again, the Manager spoke first. While he talked about my Guide rank dropping and contract termination, I was so ashamed I couldn’t even make a sound.
I had imagined all sorts of scenarios that might follow the matching rate test, including Song Ji-hyeok’s reaction. Would he coolly accept it with an “I see,” or would he let out a bitter laugh in disbelief? Or maybe… would he even pretend to hold onto me?
Among my many imaginings, Song Ji-hyeok’s actual reaction was close to denial of reality.
“So…”
“…”
“A side effect that never existed suddenly appeared, causing your Guide rank to drop within a few months, and the matching rate plummeted too? Are you asking me to believe that?”
A fierce aura radiated from beside me, just like when facing a terrible monster. Unlike the highly agitated Song Ji-hyeok, the Manager pushed up his glasses once and responded with unwavering composure.
“I completely understand why it’s hard to believe. But as I said, all sorts of things happen to awakened ones, and rank or matching rate drops are among them. …In fact, it’s not that rare.”
“So you’re saying we should terminate the pair contract right away? Is it that simple? Huh?”
It was disrespectful behavior, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop Song Ji-hyeok. Soon, the arrows flew toward me as well.
“Senior, say something too. This old man is telling us to terminate the contract, and you’re just going to sit there quietly? That’s not right. If you’re afraid of facing disadvantages, I’ll protect you from all of it. So please, say whatever you want to say.”
“…”
“Look me in the eye. You don’t want to terminate the contract either, right?”
“…”
“…Why aren’t you saying anything?”
Song Ji-hyeok’s voice, trembling slightly at the end with a tone of disbelief and implications of “you can’t be serious,” pierced my heart like a dagger. But I couldn’t bring myself to agree with him.
Contract termination.
I too didn’t want it, no matter what. I could confidently say I was several times more desperate than Song Ji-hyeok.
But this wasn’t an issue that could be resolved with desire alone. Continuing would mean killing Song Ji-hyeok and, furthermore, killing myself. A pair relationship that was merely a shell wasn’t what I wanted, nor did I have the confidence to handle it.
After swallowing yet another lump of rising emotions for the umpteenth time, I looked straight into Song Ji-hyeok’s eyes for the first time today and asked.
“I heard you’ve been getting help from Guide Ham Seo-ryul. Is that true?”
Song Ji-hyeok hesitated for a moment and then slightly frowned.
“Why is that name coming up here?”
“Don’t change the subject and answer me. Is it true that you’ve been constantly getting help from him since the dungeon?”
“…Yes. But there’s a reason for that. I knew he was Song Tae-hyeok’s pair Guide, so I agreed thinking they could both go to hell. You know how much I hate that bastard Song Tae-hyeok.”
“Right. Then how was the guiding?”
“Why even ask? He’s much worse than you.”
“Not anymore.”
At my words, Song Ji-hyeok paused again and then turned his body to face me. His brow was furrowed even more than before.
“What do you mean ‘not anymore’? Don’t tell me you’re going to follow the Manager’s advice?”
Rather than asking for my intentions, his expression suggested he was trying to convince himself. Facing him, I painfully forced out the difficult words.
“Let’s terminate the contract, Ji-hyeok.”
***
Not long after I opened the guild entrance door and went in, gazes poured toward me. Although I clearly knew they were directed at me, I resolutely ignored them and climbed the stairs.
The first thing I did upon reaching the guiding room was to open the windows wide. With the cold wind rushing in, I plopped down in the chair. I could feel the stress-induced headache, which would come and go, spreading again.
It had already been three days since I told Song Ji-hyeok, “Let’s terminate the contract.” Since then… we’ve been at a standstill until today. This was because Song Ji-hyeok strongly opposed it.
Just as I had mentioned Guide Ham Seo-ryul to break the pair relationship, Song Ji-hyeok also tried to persuade me with his own logical reasons.
‘The decreased matching rate is still in the upper 60 percent range. That’s enough to maintain a pair relationship without any problems.’
‘You said you needed a lot of money for your family’s hospital bills. If you break the pair with me, you’ll have to give back all that money and go back to receiving just a pittance. Are you okay with that?’
‘Or at least stay by my side as a backup. Can you really… really end it like this?’
Until Song Ji-hyeok was dispatched to another dungeon that afternoon, we argued for hours about the same issue. To be precise, Song Ji-hyeok was busy trying to persuade me, giving up all his schedules, while I remained silent, just listening to all his words.
When I first saw the matching rate figures, I firmly believed that terminating the contract was the right decision. But Song Ji-hyeok shook that conviction.
Given the time we had spent together and his increasingly kind attitude toward me, I had imagined that “maybe Song Ji-hyeok would try to hold onto me.” But ultimately, I had steeled myself with the understanding that guiding compatibility was most important, and our relationship might have to end regardless.
But seeing his more desperate demeanor than I had expected made me both a bit perplexed and emotional. And with that came even more guilt. Despite having boasted loudly that he would make it so I couldn’t live without him, I felt pathetic for falling like a kite with a broken string before even a year had passed.
In the end, without reaching a clear conclusion, Song Ji-hyeok departed for the field again. Even as he left, he firmly insisted that “breaking the pair is absolutely not an option.”
The next day, I went to work with the same heavy heart, and what awaited me were people’s stares. It seemed the news of the significant drop in my matching rate with Song Ji-hyeok had already spread as a rumor.
Ironically, our team members, who were much closer to me than those others and had the right to directly confirm the facts, didn’t show any sign of it. They were probably waiting for me to speak first, but I still didn’t have anything to say to them.
On one hand, even the consideration of my team members felt somewhat burdensome, so since yesterday, I had been working in the guiding room, staying put.
After a while, I closed the window again and turned on the computer. Out of habit, I logged into the guild information program, but although I was looking at it with my eyes, nothing was registering in my mind.
“Phew…”
Finally, exhaling a long sigh, I pressed firmly below my brow. It was almost lunchtime, but I didn’t even feel hungry.
Trrr- Trrr-.
Breaking the silence, my phone rang. I immediately had a feeling about who it might be. Kim Young-joo, who seemed quite worried about me, had been calling at lunchtime since the day before yesterday, taking care of me by saying, “Let’s go eat together.”
But contrary to my expectations, the caller wasn’t Kim Young-joo. The display showed an unsaved number.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
