Beyond The Control – Chapter 103

? Views,

Chapter 103

[Esper Grade C]

[Guide Grade D]

‘Ah…’

Faced with this unbelievable reality, I felt as if my brain functions had momentarily stopped. I stared stupidly at the results paper in my hand, then tightly closed my eyes. When I opened them again and looked at the same spot, the characters remained unchanged.

[Guide Grade D]

This was essentially a death sentence for me, and evidence of why I had been experiencing guiding side effects. Like hitting a rock with an egg, I could no longer handle Song Ji-hyeok with my energy.

‘Shit… No wonder I didn’t want to come.’

I couldn’t even manage a hollow laugh. I bit my trembling lips hard, but it wasn’t enough to control my emotions. My eyes began to burn hotly, as if someone had set fire to my face.

***

The time I spent contemplating dinner options while waiting for the test results had been pointless. After returning home, far from eating dinner, I sat lost in thought in my darkened room, unable to even turn on the lights. All day, my mind had been filled with a single question: “Why?”

Why was I classified as a Dual Awakener? I only received unwarranted abuse without getting the treatment of a C-class or higher.

Why was my matching rate with Song Ji-hyeok so pathetic? It ended up like this anyway. Forget lasting until retirement; I looked set to be cut before completing even a year.

They say the cruelest thing in the world is to give something and then take it away. Experiencing something similar—something that shook the foundation of my identity as an Awakener—twice was too much even for me to endure.

The aftereffects of the latter were worse. When I received the useless Dual classification, I was just an ignorant youngster and hadn’t received any benefits. Therefore, I couldn’t properly comprehend it and was able to forget it easily.

But this time was different. The insane matching rate with Song Ji-hyeok was heaven’s second chance and a lifeline to save my life. This time, I wasn’t just left with an empty title—I received tangible rewards, and my relationship with Song Ji-hyeok had grown close enough that we could sincerely call each other “Pair.”

So I thought I just needed to work hard at my assigned tasks without major worries. I never imagined I would fall into such depths before even a year had passed.

My current feelings… Honestly, I just wanted to die. I felt like even if someone pushed me off a high mountain peak, it couldn’t be more painful or agonizing than this. The Dual C-grade was personally disappointing, but the Guide grade drop was more distressing because it was closely related to Song Ji-hyeok.

Over the past few days, as I frantically researched papers related to Guide side effects, I confirmed that cases of Awakener grades increasing were surprisingly common. However, I couldn’t remember seeing any cases where a dropped grade rose again.

So now I would suffer side effects every time I guided Song Ji-hyeok, and there’s no way he would be satisfied with such guiding. And what about the guild’s response? It was obvious that I would be summoned as soon as the test results were forwarded to the guild.

“Fuck…”

I cursed repeatedly, covering my face with both hands. Perhaps from thinking too much, at some point my head began to throb. No, I couldn’t tell if it was my head that hurt or my chest. It was even hard to breathe, as if someone was strangling me.

It seemed right to stop thinking now, but like a runaway train, I couldn’t stop by my own will. Instead, all kinds of worries and concerns swirled together like a storm.

‘Just when I thought life was becoming livable. Just when I thought light was finally entering my life after years of struggles. If it was going to be like this, they shouldn’t have given me hope at all…’

What constricted my heart most painfully was the fact that I could no longer guide Song Ji-hyeok. After rolling around in the guild for seven years, I had become quite brazen and thick-skinned, but this wasn’t something I could insist on or throw a tantrum about, like asking to be taken to an upper-level dungeon.

Song Ji-hyeok would continue to lead dangerous battles. Each time, he would use explosive energy and might face the risk of going berserk. In such cases, a guide would need to provide full guiding with all their strength, but that was beyond my capabilities now.

We had just grown close. I was becoming increasingly confident that we could trust each other and become good partners like the Guild Master and Director. I wanted to be by his side as a reliable senior and companion. I thought we could be that…

‘How on earth am I supposed to face him? How should I bring this up?’

Everything before me was pitch black. Imagining losing Song Ji-hyeok and being left alone was so agonizing that my heart felt like it would stop. The resentment, directed at who knows what, continued endlessly afterward.

***

Many things happened to me during the next two days. Contrary to my expectation that the grade test results would be forwarded to the guild today at the earliest, when I went to work yesterday, the HR Director already had the results in hand.

The Director was very regretful upon learning that my grade had dropped. We had many conversations about it, and the conclusion was this:

Citing my guiding side effects, the Director would persuade Song Ji-hyeok to take the matching rate test again. If the result remained the same or dropped slightly, I would continue guiding duties as a backup; if it dropped significantly, the pair contract would be terminated.

I calmly agreed to the Director’s words, as I had already prepared for this. In truth, I would have had nothing to say even if the contract was terminated immediately, but I felt grateful yet sorry that they were considering my position as much as possible.

There was also an unexpected gain during my conversation with the Director. I learned why Song Ji-hyeok had been fine despite not receiving proper guiding from me—something I had been afraid to ask him directly due to formless fear.

It would be a lie to say I wasn’t shocked. For a moment, I failed to control my expression, causing the Director to worriedly examine my complexion.

“Are you alright, Guide Lee Su-hyeon?”

“Of course. I’m fine.”

“We’ll only know the result after it comes out, so try to stay calm. You may go now.”

“Yes. I’ll take my leave then.”

I bowed deeply and turned to leave the Director’s office. Each step felt as heavy as if weights were tied to my ankles.

***

Song Ji-hyeok returned to the guild the following afternoon. Normally, when he sent me a message after coming out of the dungeon, I would head straight to the guiding room, but today was different. About five minutes before his expected arrival time, I went up to the seventh floor.

Perhaps they had been notified in advance, because as soon as they saw me, the staff guided me to the matching rate testing room. When told to wait a moment, I sat down without a word.

Without even trying, I could see two machines installed with their backs to me. Suddenly, I remembered coming here a few months ago.

‘I never thought I’d be back like this…’

Not wanting to look anymore, I lowered my head. Then, with a long sigh, I ran my palm over my face.

I had already thought through the various possibilities of the matching rate test results and their consequences until I was sick of it. Now I just needed to take the test, but as that time approached, I wanted to escape reality.

‘I wish the ground would just open up and swallow me.’

But even that thought didn’t last long. As the door opened, I turned my head to see the Director’s face first, followed by Song Ji-hyeok.

Forcing a smile and awkwardly rising to my feet, Song Ji-hyeok spoke first:

“What’s wrong with your face? Have you been staying up for several nights?”

“No. Sleep is too important for that.”

Though I denied it, I felt a bit stung inside. While I hadn’t deliberately stayed up all night, I had suffered from severe sleep disturbances for several days, and even I could see that I looked terrible.

Then suddenly, I noticed something. Although he should have just returned from a dungeon, there was almost no red tinge in Song Ji-hyeok’s pupils. This was clearly abnormal… I felt like slapping myself for my own foolishness in not realizing it sooner.

“Then please take your seats.”

At the Director’s words, Song Ji-hyeok and I walked in opposite directions. The testing process was no different from a few months ago. Once the measuring devices were attached, the capsule doors closed automatically.

Left alone in the narrow space, I tried to calm my trembling heart. Though I knew that heart rate wasn’t a factor that affected the matching rate test, I thought that a calm mind might yield even 0.01 percent better results. That’s how desperately I wanted to grasp at straws.

Beep-

[The test is complete.]

With the completion announcement, the resonance sound that had been quietly ringing in my ears stopped. Soon, the Director, Song Ji-hyeok, and I gathered in front of the central monitor as if by appointment.

After a moment, four digits filled the screen:

[S-class Esper Song Ji-hyeok – D-class Guide Lee Su-hyeon

Matching Rate 66.18%]