# Chapter 96
‘Could this be a coincidence…?’
Hajin was confused. Even though it was when he was young, he would have been over five years old, yet he couldn’t remember such a significant event at all.
Hajin set aside his complicated feelings for the moment and continued reading the record.
[…
During recovery efforts, dungeons appeared consecutively. While focusing on civilian evacuation according to protocol, Guide Han Suyoung displayed erratic behavior.]
Han Suyoung. His mother’s name. Yet next to the familiar name was a designation that didn’t fit.
‘Mother was… a Guide?’
Hajin’s eyes trembled uncontrollably, shocked by this newly discovered fact.
Although he had already read the contents, Cha Jinwoo, who only knew the name Lee Hoseung but not who Han Suyoung was, moved closer to Hajin seeing his unsettling reaction.
He seemed to think he might be a disturbance, so he didn’t take Hajin’s hand, but the warmth touching his shoulder was enough for Hajin to calm down a bit.
Hajin took a deep breath and read the next sentence.
It stated that his mother had suddenly rushed into the dungeon, his father had followed her, but she had died at the hands of a monster.
‘This is different from what I know…’
The death of his mother that Hajin remembered was due to a traffic accident. But the record contradicted his memory.
However, Hajin couldn’t easily believe the record. His father, an Esper, couldn’t have failed to protect his mother.
Moreover, it was questionable why his mother, a Guide, would enter a dungeon in the first place. But the record didn’t explain the reason.
‘Someone must have tampered with this…’
Though he couldn’t yet know what the truth was, he could tell that his mother’s death was an important clue.
Hajin quickly scanned through the pages Cha Jinwoo had pointed out, but aside from records about dungeon conquests, he found no other information about Lee Hoseung.
Hajin closed the document. It seemed there were no more clues to be found here. As he stood up, his strength gave way and he staggered, causing Cha Jinwoo to hurriedly support him.
Refusing to be carried, Hajin leaned on him briefly and closed his eyes. No tears came. It was too uncertain whether his memories were correct, and it was all too long ago to cry over.
However, Hajin felt empty, as if all the memories he had been holding onto were false. He felt dejected, and was starting to question what he had been living for all this time.
A very careful touch reached his back. A large hand gently patted Hajin’s back. It was as careful as if touching a human made of sand, and as awkward as holding a baby for the first time.
But the warmth that reached him with a steady rhythm and kindness seemed to fill his chest that had felt so empty.
Hajin released the tension in his body that he had been forcibly maintaining and leaned fully against Cha Jinwoo. Though he felt childish acting like this in his thirties, he set aside such thoughts for now.
He just wanted to stay like this for a moment.
“Hajin…!”
Startled by Hajin suddenly releasing his strength, Cha Jinwoo quickly calmed his surprised heart as two arms embraced his waist.
Hajin stayed in Cha Jinwoo’s arms for a long while with his eyes closed. His face was so peaceful that if he hadn’t been standing on his own two feet, one might have wondered if he was asleep.
Though nothing had been resolved, Hajin pulled away with a somewhat lighter heart.
He thought this much childishness was enough, but from Cha Jinwoo’s perspective, it was disappointing.
Of course, he disliked seeing Hajin sad, but Hajin depending on him gave him a sense of fulfillment different from providing Guiding.
“Let’s go back now.”
Cha Jinwoo swallowed his disappointment and left the archives with Hajin. Only the regret of no longer having time alone with him in this place remained.
* * *
Upon returning home, Hajin shared the newly discovered facts with Alpha Team. And that his memories and the records differed.
“They say memories can be distorted, but this goes beyond distortion—they’re completely different. One of them must be false.”
With abilities that could hypnotize and control people through brainwashing, surely there could be abilities to manipulate memories.
“And I think there’s a high probability that my memories were manipulated.”
Considering Lee Hoseung’s actions, that seemed more likely. Though the truth was unknown, some incident had led to his mother’s death, which likely became the catalyst for Lee Hoseung taking the anti-government path.
“…How old were you then?”
“I would have been seven.”
It must have been around that time, as he vaguely remembered his father suffering after his mother’s death. At Hajin’s answer, Lee Doyoon spoke in an extremely angry voice.
“They messed with you when you were that young?!”
Though it was just a highly probable assumption, Lee Doyoon was so angered by the mere suggestion that someone had tampered with young Hajin that he looked ready to grab Lee Hoseung by the collar if he were present.
Hajin looked at Lee Doyoon with curiosity. Usually, people hesitate to criticize someone else’s family regardless of the situation, but these people seemed to get angry on his behalf without reservation, as if only Hajin mattered.
He thought he was quite aware of how important he was to them, but moments like this made him realize he still had much to learn.
“Hajin hasn’t finished speaking, so calm down.”
At Cha Jinwoo’s restraint, Lee Doyoon suppressed his anger while huffing, and then actively asked about future plans.
“Are you planning to hold back until you understand what happened? Shouldn’t we catch that guy quickly?”
Hajin nodded heavily. Somehow his shoulders seemed more slumped than usual, and Lee Doyoon, who had asked the question, received glares from the other three people. They were just glaring, but their gazes were as sharp as spear tips.
While being glared at didn’t bother him, Lee Doyoon couldn’t remain composed knowing he had contributed to Hajin’s slumped shoulders.
“Ah! Of course, you should do whatever’s comfortable for you, hyung! I just wondered if there was anything I could help with!”
Despite Lee Doyoon’s efforts, Hajin’s slumped shoulders didn’t return to their original state. Hajin knew Lee Doyoon was restless with guilt, but this time he couldn’t pretend to be calm as he wished.
It wasn’t Lee Doyoon’s fault. He was just frustrated with himself for being unable to do anything about the problem he faced.
Hajin gave a faint smile to the increasingly flustered Lee Doyoon before standing up.
“It’s alright. I’ll think about it more. Then, I’ll go in first.”
Judging that continuing to show his face when he couldn’t even manage his expressions would only worsen the atmosphere, Hajin stood up first.
Though Lee Doyoon hadn’t rushed him, he needed to think properly as he had just said himself. If he remained this indecisive, he wouldn’t know what to do when facing Lee Hoseung.
As Hajin went upstairs, only Alpha Team remained in the living room.
“Nice going. Did you have to do that to hyung when he already has so many worries?”
Lee Doyoon’s pride was hurt being treated like a troublemaker by none other than Han Seungho, but it was true that Hajin’s mood had worsened following his comment.
He gazed longingly at the second-floor stairs that Hajin had ascended.
“Haah…”
Lee Doyoon let out a deep sigh.
Meanwhile, Hajin, who had returned to his room, took a shower to clear his head. Remembering a former colleague’s saying that “worries are water-soluble,” he even filled the bathtub and soaked his body before coming out.
However, the moment he sat on the bed, his mind became complicated again with thoughts about Lee Hoseung. He knew that worries wouldn’t disappear with just one shower, but Hajin closed his eyes, needlessly blaming his former colleague.
Then suddenly, he became angry at himself. He didn’t know why he was worrying and causing concern to people who cared for him when he hadn’t done anything for them.
This was a problem the Association should have handled properly in the first place, an issue between them.
At that moment, Hajin sat up again with a thud, as if he was about to lose his temper.
“…Why am I worrying about this?”
Hajin covered his mouth as if struck by a realization.
“How to deal with Lee Hoseung is for the law to decide…”
It’s natural that one is punished for committing a crime. That’s why laws exist, and why there are police. And Lee Hoseung, regardless of his reasons, is a criminal. Moreover, he’s a criminal who poses a national threat.
Even if he were to be executed, it would be the country’s role to judge and carry it out. Who was he to seriously think about ending it himself?
Hajin was shocked that he had forgotten this obvious fact. Although it was now all useless, the fact that he, having lived ordinarily for over thirty years, had forgotten such a simple and obvious fact.
‘…Was I unknowingly intoxicated by power?’
Being so revered, he seemed to have really thought he was something special. Suddenly overwhelmed by shame, Hajin covered his face with a pillow and pressed down hard. Though it was suffocating, Hajin was merely restraining himself from rolling around.
Recalling his past when he had distinguished himself from others who acted arrogantly after being corrupted by power, he wanted to drown himself in a plate of water.
“Ungh…”
Hajin’s face was red when he removed the pillow. He could feel it himself. The burning sensation in his face was evident without needing a mirror.
But despite feeling like dying of embarrassment and being disappointed in himself, he felt relieved inside. In a way, he was just delegating the handling to others, but looking at it coldly, this was how it should be.
Hajin could let out a refreshingly deep sigh, feeling as if a stone that had been pressing heavily on his chest had been removed.
What exactly had happened in the past,
What Lee Hoseung’s purpose was—he hadn’t discovered anything and hadn’t resolved anything, but tonight, it seemed like he could sleep comfortably for once.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
