“Lady Etricia?”
Sigh. As I placed a hand on my forehead and let out a deep breath, Lilien blinked and asked me.
Oh, right. I was in the middle of a conversation with Lilien.
“Sorry, thinking about what happened this morning gave me a headache. How was the gathering?”
Lilien smiled gently and fiddled with her hair.
“It was great. Everyone was very knowledgeable. I even arranged to meet some of them again soon.”
“Oh, really?”
A bright smile spread across my face at the thought that she had made friends besides me.
But my joy was short-lived.
My heart dropped at what she said next.
“Especially Viscountess Laska, who owns fertile land left by her late father. And Baroness Lofrato, though she has retired from office, is the niece of a former Minister of Foreign Affairs. If I stay close with them, it will help both your Lebron business and the prosperity of your estate.”
I was speechless, stunned by this unfamiliar side of her.
The Lilien I knew was neither calculating nor materialistic, nor did she ever pretend to be something she wasn’t.
Yet here she was. The same Lilien who had always been genuine and sincere with everyone…
As if anticipating my reaction, she clenched her fists on the table and looked at me with determined eyes.
“Lady Etricia, I’ve decided to become stronger so that I can be someone who helps both of you.”
“Why… Is it because I collapsed? Or because I didn’t tell you everything?”
I spoke quickly, only to realize the answer myself.
“It’s both, isn’t it? I didn’t think things through. Lilien, the reason I didn’t tell you everything was—”
“Because you wanted to protect me.”
Her clear voice gently interrupted my desperate explanation. Lilien lowered her gaze, her eyes filled with sorrow.
“I just realized… I can’t keep running away or hiding anymore.”
I stared at her, my emotions in turmoil, before finally speaking the words that would shake her to the core.
“But you are running away from what truly matters.”
Her widened eyes moved up from the table to meet mine. Her eyelashes trembled.
“You know, don’t you? That Jake wants to see you.”
“…I know. But for now, expanding my connections is my priority—”
“Lilien.”
I fixed my gaze on her with a firm expression.
As if something had unlocked inside her, the dark veil over her pupils lifted, revealing a pair of trembling eyes, like candlelight flickering in the wind.
“I… I’m not confident…”
Tears welled up as she buried her face in her hands. Her silver hair cascaded over her fingers, catching the falling tears.
“I was wrong. Now that I’ve stepped out into the world, I realize I’ve always lived under protection.”
She lowered her hands, her face streaked with tears, panting.
“I want to be strong enough to protect both of you… but no matter how hard I try, I feel like I’m stuck in place.”
Ah. My heart ached.
She must have sensed Jake’s feelings. He had visited the duke’s residence countless times—how could she not know?
But the more she realized, the heavier the burden became.
“If I were to become the Crown Princess, everyone would laugh at me.”
“…”
“I don’t have the confidence to stand against those who oppose me, who judge me, who criticize me. I can’t even respond to the people who look down on me now… How could I ever become the Crown Princess?”
Hic. She sobbed, wiping her endless tears away.
“I’m afraid of people’s gazes. I doubt every smile, every kindness shown to me. The Marchioness of Wickley said that, with time, I’d learn to stand up for myself and discern the truth. But I don’t think I have that in me.”
“Lilien…”
I didn’t need to hear every detail to understand the pain she had endured, the wounds she had suffered.
For the past month, I should have been by her side, through her confusion and struggle. I should never have left someone so fragile and soft-hearted alone.
My vision blurred. I blinked up at the sky before taking her hand.
“Lilien, you’re already doing well.”
I smiled, my own eyes brimming with tears.
Lilien looked at me, her wet eyelashes quivering.
“Do you remember what I told you? That honesty is a sign of inner strength?”
I let out a small breath and chuckled bitterly, lowering my gaze.
“I was always surrounded by people like me, so I couldn’t be honest until I met you. But you became my example, and because of you, I changed.”
I gently cupped her tear-streaked cheek.
“So no matter what anyone says, to me, you are already perfect.”
“Oh… Lady Etricia…”
Lilien’s face crumpled as fresh tears fell. A teardrop formed at her chin before dropping to the table.
Somehow, the more I tried to comfort her, the more we both ended up crying.
Sniffling, I pulled my hand away from her face.
“No one is strong from the start. It’s normal to be afraid of people’s judgment.”
“Even you, Lady Etricia?”
“Of course. Over time, fear fades, and we become more composed. People call that growth.”
Just like how I broke free from a nightmarish marriage after realizing my past life.
“Then… does that mean I’m just growing at a slower pace?”
“Yes. But no matter what changes you go through, you must never lose your essence.”
“My essence…? Do I have something like that?”
“Of course.”
As I answered, Lilien wiped away her lingering tears with the back of her hand.
Even with her puffy eyes and reddened nose, she remained incredibly endearing. I couldn’t help but smile.
“The Lilien I love the most is the one you are right now.”
Having laid the foundation, I lifted my head and turned toward the slowly opening door. A familiar face appeared.
‘He came sooner than expected. It hasn’t even been an hour since I sent the message.’
Creak. The wooden floor groaned as the visitor stepped in.
Lilien’s eyes widened in shock.
“Oh, Edmund must be here. About today—”
“Lady Lilien.”
The moment the voice reached her, Lilien stood up in alarm. A choked sound escaped her throat.
“J-Jake…?”
She looked between Jake and me in panic.
I pushed my chair back and stood up.
“Sorry, I called him. He was waiting outside the mansion again.”
Originally, I had intended to wait until she was ready, but seeing her like this, I knew she would keep postponing it.
Lilien, looking dazed, stared at me. I gave her an apologetic smile and gestured toward Jake. Naturally, her head turned in his direction.
“Lady Lilien.”
Jake reached out his hand, and as if drawn by an unseen force, Lilien took it and stood up.
The two of them stepped across the threshold together.
Just before they disappeared, Jake glanced back and gave me a faint smile.
“Thank you.”
I shrugged and waved them off.
I just hoped that my dear Lilien wouldn’t have to cry anymore.
Lilien nervously played with her fingers as she looked at Jake’s back, who was silently walking through the garden with his hands behind his back.
Her heart was pounding.
Now that she finally faced the situation she had been avoiding for so long, she felt both relieved and overwhelmed… and scared.
Over the past month, she had heard more than ten reports from Rail that Jake, wearing a robe, had been wandering in front of the Mipedian Duke’s residence.
But Lilien had avoided him by using the back gate or adjusting her outing times. Even though she had promised herself she wouldn’t run anymore, her weak heart always looked for the easier way.
She shouldn’t have done that.
Regret filled her as she glanced at Jake’s back and bit her lip.
‘He must be angry…’
Why did she avoid him?
It didn’t make anything better.
If anything, as time passed, the weight in her heart felt heavier, like carrying a rock.
Then suddenly, a thought struck her, and Lilien’s eyes widened.
She realized that from her childhood until now, whenever she tried to hide, the result was always the same.
Even with Etricia, things could have been solved with a simple conversation, but she had run away and ended up making her sad.
‘So this is what happens when you run away.’
She was only realizing that now.
Lilien shut her eyes tightly.
‘I shouldn’t have run away…’
But even so, she didn’t have the courage to speak first, and all she could do was follow behind Jake like someone heading to their execution.
How much time had passed?
Jake suddenly stopped walking. Lilien also slowed down her steps.
Jake stared straight ahead and took a deep breath. Then, a few seconds later, he turned around, took off his robe, and without hesitation, knelt on one knee.
“J-Jake!”
Lilien felt dizzy from the unexpected event.
The crown prince of a nation was kneeling—not to the emperor or a god, but in front of her!
In shock, Lilien looked around the garden. They had entered a quiet path inside the hedge, so unless someone was at a high spot like the mansion, they wouldn’t be seen.
Still, she worried that if a mansion servant passed by the window and saw this, it would hurt Jake’s reputation. So she quickly grabbed his arm and tried to pull him up.
“Please stand up! If someone sees you—”
“I don’t care.”
“What…?”
His answer left her speechless, and her hand lost strength.
Her hand fell from his arm, and she stepped back, her eyes drawn to his firm, unwavering gaze.
“Lady Lilien, I know that nothing I do can ever truly make up for the hurt I caused you. But just once…”
His thin eyelids slowly closed, then opened again.
His eyes, shining like mother-of-pearl, met hers directly with a serious look.
“Just once, can you give me a chance? Even someone as foolish and weak as me… I’ll become a man worthy of you.”
Lilien stared at him blankly for a moment, then snapped back to her senses.
“P-please don’t say that. You may be a little clumsy sometimes, but you’re always kind and dependable.”
Jake gave a bitter sigh and lowered his head.
“That’s only because I was pretending in front of you. I even hid my name, so it’s natural for you to be angry—”
“I’m not angry…”
Jake lifted his head, looking completely stunned.
“What?”
Lilien, still looking down at him, clasped her hands and closed her eyes tightly. Etricia had told her that her greatest strength was being honest. That she poured out every feeling inside her like water from a cup. So this time, she wouldn’t run away…
Finally making up her mind, she opened her eyes wide, grabbed Jake’s arm, and pulled him to his feet.
Kneeling on both knees, Jake was caught off guard by the strength and ended up standing face to face with Lilien.
