Do In-ho held a sunflower in his hand. He always decorated the hospital room with different flowers, thinking the scent might bring Ho-eun some comfort in the quiet space.
Having noticed that the previous bouquet had begun to wilt, In-ho had bought sunflowers this time. But the moment he opened the door and saw Ho-eun sitting up, he dropped the cherished flowers right onto the floor.
Before he even realized what he’d done, In-ho stumbled forward toward Ho-eun. Feeling the familiar warmth filling his arms, it finally hit him—Ho-eun was awake.
Relief flooded through him. The overwhelming reassurance that Kwon Ho-eun was safe… and a solemn vow that he would never let something like this happen again. With that thought, In-ho rubbed his tear-stained eyes against Ho-eun’s shoulder.
“When you woke up… I swore I’d give you everything I had. So when I got placed in the PR Department with you, I thought there’d be no more problems… I really believed all I had to do from then on was protect you.”
In-ho’s throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his expression twisting with pain.
“But while you were getting hurt out there in the Civil Complaints Division, I couldn’t do a damn thing.”
Though he’d kept his cool when Ho-eun had fallen into the river, inside, In-ho had been a complete wreck.
Again. He hadn’t been able to protect Kwon Ho-eun where it mattered. Even as he attacked Wolrang, all his thoughts had been fixated on Ho-eun—was he breathing properly? Was he moving at all? If Ho-eun hadn’t been such a strong person, In-ho might have lost him again.
“When I was just living as a Crystal Implant, I figured that if I lost control and died, at least I’d leave the crystal behind… It would be useful to someone…”
“……”
“But trying to live as just myself… I realized I’m completely useless.”
Ho-eun quietly shook his head.
“It’s a life you saved, after all.”
Useless people get discarded. Out of all the people dragged in for crystal implantation, In-ho had been the only one to survive. The reason was simple—he had value because the experiment had succeeded.
If you have no use, if you’re no longer needed, they toss you aside without a second thought.
Of course, he knew Ho-eun was different. Ho-eun was kind. Even if he knew In-ho was useless, he wouldn’t throw him away.
But what if five years passed and In-ho was still the same? What if ten years passed with no change? Would Ho-eun still feel that saving him was worth it?
In order to stay by Ho-eun’s side, he had to be of use. If he couldn’t be, then he’d become a loyal dog—obedient and faithful—just to keep his place next to him.
“You could lie to me a hundred times and I wouldn’t get mad… I’d still be fine.”
In-ho looked back on his life. If he had to pick one truly happy moment in his twenty years, oddly enough, it was that sweet time he’d shared with Ho-eun, eating cake.
If he could spend more moments like that, over and over, he didn’t care what Ho-eun did.
“As long as you don’t abandon me.”
A confession that was anything but romantic slipped out and scattered into the night air. When he finally fell silent, In-ho’s gloomy face turned toward Ho-eun, as if checking whether he’d upset him with anything he’d said.
“You’re five years older than me—does it feel good lying like that?!”
Having stayed quiet the whole time, listening, Ho-eun suddenly checked that the beach was deserted and yelled at the top of his lungs.
“We’re partners! I’m hurt! I’m offended! Don’t do that again!!!”
In-ho blinked in confusion as Ho-eun stood up and practically roared, the sound coming from deep in his core, twice as loud.
Ho-eun’s face was flushed so red it looked ready to explode. He took in a deep breath and glared at In-ho.
“Hey, In-ho. I spoke for you today, but next time, you say it.”
“…?”
“Don’t go thinking about being thrown away or whatever. Like you just did—say everything out loud.”
The sea breeze gently tousled Ho-eun’s hair.
“I’m not a perfect Guide either. And you… I don’t think you’re lacking in anything as an Esper. But if you feel like you are, I can accept that. Still, don’t hide how you feel just because you think I’ll abandon you.”
It wasn’t the waves that swallowed their conversation.
“We’re partners. We need each other.”
The darkness knotted inside Do In-ho, so black it practically stank, was swept away in a single breath by Ho-eun’s words.
“I did save you from an Ability Overload, but I didn’t save your life. The one who’s living right now is you, In-ho. That’s your will. So live for yourself. Do what you want. Be happy. I’ll be here, watching you.”
Captivated by Ho-eun’s fleeting smile, In-ho looked up at him like a man possessed.
In the fading light of dusk, as shadows and gold mingled on Ho-eun’s face, he looked like he might vanish if touched. It felt surreal—like the gaze of a believer looking at their god.
With reverence in his eyes, In-ho reached out.
He laced his fingers through Ho-eun’s, those hands a full palm smaller than his own.
“I was really hurt you lied to me…”
In-ho’s voice began to quiver with tears.
“And I was jealous. That something happened between you and someone else… without me knowing…”
As Ho-eun stepped closer to the seated In-ho, he wrapped his free hand around his head, gently pulling him into his waist.
“I was scared… that the one who collapsed might’ve been you, not Kim Se-hee.”
As if rewarding his honesty, Ho-eun tightened his grip on In-ho’s hand. Feeling his shirt grow damp from tears, Ho-eun shut his eyes.
“I’m sorry. For lying, and for making you worry.”
The waves wailed long and low. In-ho could only hope that his sobs would be drowned out in their sound before they reached Ho-eun.
***
On the drive back to the Incheon branch.
Do In-ho had one hand on the wheel and the other firmly wrapped around Ho-eun’s hand, who sat in the passenger seat, laughing softly.
His tear-swollen eyes made him look like a baby, yet there he was, confidently driving with one hand. It was a funny sight.
With a faint smile on his lips, Ho-eun looked out at the streetlamps flickering past in a blur.
The heaviness in his chest from days of lies had cleared like an open highway. Lies really didn’t suit him. But thanks to that lie, he’d gotten to hear what was in Do In-ho’s heart—so in the end, it was worth it.
If he lied one more time, though, In-ho might not just sniffle—he might full-on bawl.
The warmth from the car’s heater made his eyelids heavy. He bit the inside of his cheek to stay awake, but it wasn’t enough.
In his drowsiness, it struck him how deeply he mattered to In-ho—as his Guide, and more.
I need to get stronger… so he won’t have to worry like that again.
Ho-eun nodded off mid-thought, his head drooping as sleep took over.
Seeing the passenger side grow quiet, In-ho used a red light as his chance to lift their joined hands.
He pressed a kiss to the back of Ho-eun’s hand. Soft skin met his lips. With a bittersweet longing, he placed a short kiss there before intertwining their fingers even more tightly.
“Even if you want to let go now, I won’t let you.”
His soft murmur didn’t reach Ho-eun—but he kept going.
“You’re the one who said you’d stay by my side.”
“……”
“So you’ve lost the right to regret it later.”
Possessiveness and obsession tangled together in In-ho’s faint smile.
***
“Mmm…”
Who knew how long had passed. Ho-eun swallowed and opened his eyes. The sight of a familiar elevator came into focus.
“You’re awake?”
He blinked a few times, staring at the rising floor numbers. Then he suddenly jerked his body as if startled.
“W-what the hell?!”
Ho-eun kicked his legs in panic, realizing he was being carried in In-ho’s arms—back to their dorm.
“We’re almost there. Just sleep a little more.”
“No, In-ho, that’s not—put me down!”
“Hyung. The elevator’s shaking. Stay still.”
Instead of putting him down, In-ho adjusted his hold and strolled out as the doors opened, calm and unbothered.
Only after opening the front door did he finally set Ho-eun down, looking immensely proud of himself.
“When did I even fall asleep?”
Ho-eun, who had already taken his shoes off neatly, wiped the drool from his mouth with his hand as he asked.
“You didn’t sleep that much. You hungry?”
Trying to change the subject, In-ho diverted his eyes. Forgetting his embarrassment, Ho-eun held his stomach.
“I am hungry… Should’ve grabbed some grilled clams.”
The digital clock in the living room read a little past 10 PM. As he stretched, Ho-eun realized they’d spent more time by the beach than he thought.
“Wanna eat some udon, In-ho?”
Too lazy to go out again now that they were home, Ho-eun opened the fridge looking for a snack. He spotted some fish cakes and cup udon and smacked his lips as he turned to In-ho. Nodding, In-ho pulled out a pot without hesitation.
“By the way, In-ho—how was your day?”
Having finished the quick meal, Ho-eun served the udon into bowls.
As he blew on the steaming noodles, it suddenly occurred to him that In-ho had gone out on a field mission too today.
“We haven’t found solid anti-government leads yet, but… there are definitely signs that it’s related.”
“They took that Guide hostage last time ‘cause they were short on Guides, right? Why are they targeting Espers now?”
In-ho, who’d been staring intently at Ho-eun’s slender white neck, pretended to listen as his eyes lazily drifted down his neck to his collarbone.
“Maybe they’re trying to recruit more anti-government members.”
His voice, thick with a kind of stickiness, brushed against Ho-eun’s ear. Awkward, Ho-eun rubbed the back of his neck.
“Y-yeah? So starting Monday, we’re teaming up with HR. That’s kinda nerve-wracking.”
“You’ll need to be careful on HR missions. Recruiting Guides and Espers has a totally different feel in the field.”
“Ahaha, you trying to scare me already?”
Ho-eun, having emptied his bowl, gave In-ho a playful face, satisfaction written all over his expression.
Staring back at him, In-ho gave a small nod, as if conceding something.
“Yes… I hope you get scared and stick really close to me.”
When that gaze—focused entirely on him—locked onto his face, Ho-eun grabbed In-ho in a headlock.
“W-what’s with the jokes now, Do In-ho! You’ve got comedy chops these days?”
He shook In-ho up and down with exaggerated force, stifling a groan, worried his flushed face might be noticed.
Now that he no longer had to hide his feelings, In-ho said whatever came to mind with childlike honesty. Ho-eun had no idea what he’d do if he ended up misunderstanding it.
“I need to wash up.”
Excusing himself naturally, Ho-eun stepped away, placing a hand on his chest to steady his thundering heart.
