“Then maybe you’ll be able to let go.”
“…Even if it’s just as a friend, I’ll still be around.”
“That won’t be easy. Right now, you might only be acquaintances, but with time, if your feelings and Hyeon’s settle down, maybe you’ll naturally go back to being friends again.”
He stared at her, stunned by how realistic she sounded. He couldn’t accept it. Letting out a hollow breath, he shook his head.
“I’m going.”
As Yoon Do-yeong stood up feebly, Baek Ga-yeong asked softly.
“If I get in touch with Hyeon, what should I tell him?”
“……”
Do-yeong couldn’t say a single word. Just like she’d said—he couldn’t confess his feelings honestly to Kang Hyeon. But making excuses for all he had said and done felt cheap and wrong. There were too many words already spoken, too many things that needed apologizing, he didn’t even know where to begin. He turned to Baek Ga-yeong with eyes silently pleading for help. But unlike what he hoped for, she had already made up her mind.
“Do-yeong. Decide carefully, and let me know. I’ll pass it on as it is.”
The word decide, and the distance in her eyes, clung to his ankles like chains.
“Why…”
His hand still on the door handle, Do-yeong asked quietly.
“Why does it feel like you’re pulling away from me…?”
She looked startled by his question. Then, as if troubled, she gave a faint smile and answered.
“Why? Because I didn’t coddle you or take your side?”
“……”
“Because I didn’t pressure Hyeon to be nice to you?”
His grip on the handle tightened at her words. The veins on the back of his hand bulged as he clutched it harder, listening intently.
“Do-yeong.”
Her voice was calm, almost soothing as she gently called his name and stood up to approach him.
“Just like your feelings matter, Hyeon’s feelings matter too. If I try to bring you up indirectly with him, don’t you think it might only push him further away? What if it backfires and he stops answering my calls altogether? Hyeon should be able to come to my café for coffee just like you.”
She reached out and lightly rested her hand over the one he had on the door. At that, Do-yeong released his grip and stepped back. As she opened the door for him, she whispered,
“It was always you who kept your distance.”
She left with that, gesturing subtly toward something before gently shutting the door. His eyes followed her gesture to a table. Standing there blankly, he glanced at the drink bottle she had opened for him, as if telling him to take a moment to breathe. Feeling the sincerity of her gesture, he capped the bottle, picked it up, and left the staff room. When he went over to say goodbye, Baek Ga-yeong handed him a disposable cup filled with ice.
“I’ll call you if I hear anything.”
“You’re not going to try contacting him first?”
“Yoon Do-yeong, were you even listening to what I just said? Have you ever seen a bamboo grove go looking for someone?”
“……”
“I’ll try when the staff take some vacation days.”
“Please, make sure you call me then. You have to.”
After he practically begged, she gave him the cup and walked with him to the front entrance. As she opened the door for him, Do-yeong paused. It dawned on him—she had been ready to close the café just for his sake.
“…Thank you.”
He offered a belated, sincere word of gratitude before stepping out. When a customer entering the café saw him and flinched in surprise, he smiled gently at them. Just like she’d said—this place, where Kang Hyeon could feel comfortable visiting, was something that had to be protected. And aside from Hyeon, the only person he could even remotely call a close acquaintance… was her.
Once inside his car, Do-yeong pulled out of the area. His chest felt like it was burning. He eventually pulled over on a quiet road and poured the drink she’d given him into the cup of ice, gulping it down. Filling his mouth with ice to soothe his agitated nerves, he called Chief Choi.
—“Oh, Do-yeong.”
“Chief, can you find out Hyeon’s grandfather’s address? It’s in Gyeongsang Province.”
—“What for?”
“I think he’s trying to cut ties with me.”
—“……”
“He looks like he’s falling apart from this scandal. Like he’s scared that rumors will spread about him being gay. I have to clear it up—I need to say I’m not gay. That I don’t like him… because I don’t. So…”
His words started to unravel, his voice breaking as emotions tangled and clogged his throat.
—“Hang on. Take a breath. Calm down a bit.”
Hearing the concern in Chief Choi’s voice, Do-yeong sank back into his seat and closed his eyes. He took a few deep breaths, trying to rein in his frayed nerves. Then, slowly, he recounted everything that had happened. After listening for a while, the chief spoke in a flat tone.
—“So he ran because he felt overwhelmed?”
“…Chief.”
—“And now you’re going to stalk him?”
At that word—stalk—Do-yeong froze.
He hated fans showing up at his home. No matter how sparkly their eyes looked when they stared at him, his response was always disgust. He was called cold and rude for a reason. Just imagining receiving that kind of look from Kang Hyeon made his blood boil.
With a soundless scream, he slumped over the steering wheel. Trapped in this mess with no way out, he heard Chief Choi’s steady voice from the other end.
—“I don’t think that’s it.”
“Then what should I do? His phone’s off—I can’t even explain myself. I need to see him face to face to clear this up.”
—“And are you confident you won’t screw it up if you do?”
Do-yeong couldn’t answer. Overwhelmed, his whole body trembled.
—“This isn’t the way.”
“Chief.”
—“If you insist, I’ll help. But it’s not a good idea. If it were me, I’d be horrified if someone showed up like that.”
“……”
—“Don’t make things worse.”
Do-yeong straightened his back, eyes blazing as he turned the ignition. But then, Chief Choi spoke again, his voice heavy with worry.
—“Don’t drive. If something else happens, I won’t be able to stop the headlines from saying you’ve lost your mind.”
Do-yeong paused, caught off guard.
“What are you talking about?”
—“Crashing into a hotel lobby, collapsing on the beach, having a panic attack in the middle of the road… And if I keep going—being grabbed by the collar by Lee Ji-gyeong, and telling the hospital director’s granddaughter you’re struggling, right in the middle of the café where everyone could hear.”
“…All of that… there’s a record?”
He asked cautiously. Chief Choi let out a shallow sigh.
—“You’re at your limit. If another scandal breaks, everything comes out at once. So don’t cause any more problems.”
“…Got it.”
Despite the fire in his eyes, Do-yeong’s voice was empty, almost hollow. After hanging up, he headed to the outskirts of the city and passed through the expressway tollgate. Following his navigation system, he drove for hours before reaching Gyeongsang Province, aimlessly wandering the area.
He searched for places with fields, rice paddies, and greenhouses—but that was all. He had no idea where to even begin looking for Kang Hyeon. It made sense—Gyeongsang was massive, split into North and South, and there were countless farmlands.
Eventually, his car stopped on a deserted road. Stepping out, he looked around at the stillness. A lone streetlight illuminated a small village in the darkness, and he stared at it with lifeless eyes. The cool breeze of early summer clung to his skin. The insects chirped so loudly it felt like the air vibrated, and an occasional birdcall echoed from somewhere he couldn’t place. Do-yeong stood there, not knowing where to go.
The thick darkness wrapped itself around him and seeped into his chest. Yoon Do-yeong—who had always been described as bright, radiant, like sunshine—now stood frozen, consumed by the dark. He didn’t move at all. After a long time, he finally looked up. Amid the pitch-black sky, countless stars glittered. His hardened expression slackened with quiet despair.
He had once imagined a two-day, one-night trip with Hyeon. Since they were heading to a rural area, he’d even considered renting a camper van. He had dreamed of them cooking together, talking by a small bonfire like in the movies or dramas. When the moment felt right, he’d take his hand and whisper softly.
“I like you.”
He would gaze into those surprised eyes and continue, warm and sincere.
“I’ve never forgotten the spark I felt the first time I saw you. And when I saw you again in college… I just knew.”
“It’s you.”
“The one I want to get close to. The one I want to share my life with.”
He would’ve whispered all of that, embarrassed but earnest, then leaned in to kiss him under the starlight.
Do-yeong smiled faintly at his own delusion. His eyes, now moist, blinked a few times as dawn began to break. The horizon was softening with the early glow. His eyes were tinged red. Each time the sun rose, he had made the same wish—it lingered on the tip of his tongue but he forced it down.
“I’ll do better.”
“I’ll give my whole heart to this love. I’ll do everything I can.”
He had always wished for that. And yet, those very actions had led to this. His foolish hopes echoed with Kang Hyeon’s advice:
“Give the other person what they want. That’s what’s best.”
So just as he said, just as Hyeon wanted—he wouldn’t go looking for him. That’s why—
“You have to come find me.”
As he finished speaking, Yoon Do-yeong’s eyes grew clear and sharp.
