Chapter 31
Questions flooded Yun-seo’s blank mind, difficult to answer. Had he improvised to hide him from those men? If so, why specifically a kiss…? The fact that he had hidden him meant he had noticed he was being pursued, but how did he perceive this situation?
What Hwi was thinking right now was what Yun-seo wondered most. The moment he slightly raised his eyes, Hwi took a step forward, causing Yun-seo to jump back like a cornered puppy. Hwi raised an eyebrow, then deliberately closed the distance and carefully replaced the cloth that had slipped down over Yun-seo’s head.
Then Hwi put his arm around Yun-seo’s shoulders and walked.
When they left the dye workshop, Yun-seo was extremely tense, but fortunately, they didn’t encounter any men on their way to the lodge.
Finally reaching the second floor, he could relax his tension. But anticipating Hwi’s impending interrogation made it impossible to completely ease his mind.
How should he explain? How could he speak so that Hwi would understand? But why had he kissed him? That kiss earlier was so…
“Stay still.”
At Hwi’s abrupt words, Yun-seo snapped out of his thoughts. Hwi gazed at him steadily, then turned and left the room.
Yun-seo blankly listened to the fading footsteps before hurrying to the doorway. Hwi seemed to have left the lodge as the sound of the door closing reached him.
Bewildered, he could only blink before his legs gave way and he collapsed where he stood. His swollen lips began to burn belatedly. Yun-seo touched his lips with his fingertips, then glared at his own groin which only now showed signs of calming down.
He knew what this phenomenon was from his education. But he never expected merely kissing would cause this… No, could that even be called a kiss? They had clearly intertwined their tongues deeply…
When staying at his family residence, he had learned from his tutor that exchanging tongues was an effective method to transfer protective energy. So he had only understood it as a ritual performed between Yongrim and Yeong Chunhwa. But was that not the case?
He didn’t know. Why had Hwi kissed him then? As someone with superior fighting skills, perhaps subduing and escaping would have been better.
‘Is that the problem? In a country where even the Emperor engages in male relationships.’
Suddenly, his conversation with Hwi hazily came back to him. Was he attracted to men? Perhaps he had feelings for him…
Yun-seo’s cheeks grew even hotter at these thoughts that refused to conclude. He clamped his hand over his mouth and silently screamed. The red cloth touching his skin further agitated him, so he removed it completely and threw it away.
Yun-seo stared at the wine bottle before him, then poured some into a cup. Holding the cup, he looked out the window. Through the open window came a cool breeze that had lost some of its bite, and the moon shone brightly, casting a soft light. And the man he was waiting for had still not returned.
Where had he gone without a word? Then again, when had he ever told him where he was going or coming from?
Expecting him to return soon, but with no news, Yun-seo decided to eat dinner alone. When he asked the man guarding the lodge if there was any wine to accompany his meal, this was brought to him. Come to think of it, he still didn’t know that man’s name. Perhaps he should ask Hwi when he returned…
Yun-seo downed his cup in one go and frowned at the burning sensation. Though he had learned proper drinking etiquette from his father and this wasn’t his first time drinking, it was still bitter. He wondered if there would truly come a day when alcohol tasted sweet as people claimed.
Still, the alcohol somewhat relieved his constricted chest. Yun-seo refilled his cup and this time sipped the wine slowly.
As time passed and his pounding heart completely calmed, Yun-seo’s expression gradually settled. The immediate reality before him was cold and stark.
Having encountered those pursuing him, he needed to consider the future. They weren’t as extraordinary as Yongrim, so they must be people employed by his father. While it might be better than Yongrim, now that his whereabouts had been discovered, the path ahead wouldn’t be smooth.
Moreover, he still couldn’t figure out how to explain things to Hwi. Though he had several options in mind, the urge to confess everything openly also tempted him. The expectation that Hwi might understand, might even help, tickled his skin.
But that kiss troubled him. Not knowing Hwi’s feelings, his own heart wandered aimlessly. He was sighing deeply and about to pour more wine when:
“Drunkard.”
Startled by the voice that came from the doorway without any warning, Yun-seo turned his head. How he moved without making a single footstep was truly mysterious. Meeting Hwi again, a strange feeling made it difficult to look him directly in the eyes.
“…I wasn’t being drunk and disorderly, what are you saying?”
His voice came out unnecessarily sullen. Hwi, paying no attention, strode over and took the wine bottle from Yun-seo’s hand, pouring wine into the empty cup across from him.
Yun-seo gazed at Hwi sitting opposite him. With his usual nonchalant expression, Hwi drank his wine and asked:
“Are you good at drinking?”
“Just… as good as others, I suppose.”
“Do you know how good ‘as good as others’ is?”
His casual response somehow sounded irritating.
Yun-seo waited for Hwi to get to the main point, but Hwi concentrated on his meal in silence for a long time. Only Yun-seo was fidgeting, his body heating up.
“Tomorrow we should be able to leave this place, so prepare yourself.”
“Tomorrow…?”
“Yes.”
Being able to leave tomorrow was welcome news, but it wasn’t the topic he was waiting for. Yun-seo moistened his dry lips with his tongue, observed Hwi’s demeanor, and unable to hold back any longer, spoke.
“Why… aren’t you asking me anything?”
“About what?”
“You saw everything, didn’t you?”
Acting like a thief catching himself might not be wise, but Hwi’s refusal to bring up the matter made him anxious. Besides, there were things that needed to be discussed between them.
“If you want to tell me, then just tell me.”
Suddenly deflated, Yun-seo couldn’t hide his disappointment. Yet he couldn’t precisely identify what he was disappointed about, leaving him feeling hollow inside.
What had happened, was it something to worry about, was there anything he could help with… If Hwi had asked such questions, he might have confessed everything without calculating the consequences. Yun-seo realized that was what he had been hoping for. This belated realization weighed heavily on his chest.
Why did you kiss me?
He caught the impulsive question at the tip of his tongue. Yun-seo slowly emptied a cup of wine to calm his agitated heart. The spark of expectation that had flared wildly from their first lip contact steadily settled.
I almost did something foolish.
If that kiss truly held great meaning for Hwi, if he had feelings for him, he would have explained the reason upon his return. Even considering the situation in reverse, if he had been the one to initiate a kiss with someone, he would have taken responsibility unless it had been a mistake.
Mistake. Yes, perhaps that incident was an unavoidable error that Hwi wished to overlook as if nothing had happened. Yun-seo finally reminded himself of his own circumstances.
The young master of a noble household no longer existed here. He was now a fugitive with nothing to his name, someone who at first glance appeared fit to be a servant. Hadn’t he heard from Yeondeok? That there were many ruthless people who toyed with servants out of boredom. Of course, he didn’t think Hwi possessed such a character, but…
“Do you trust me?”
If Hwi, who had been so good to him, had committed just one indiscretion, it was right to overlook it. Yun-seo deliberately met Hwi’s eyes calmly.
“Actually, I might be a thief. Perhaps I stole someone’s belongings and ran away… Or I might be pursued because I stole precious items from the lady I served.”
Despite his deliberate provocation, there was rather something like amusement in Hwi’s eyes.
“If you want something, just tell me. I’ll give it to you for free.”
Why would you just give things to me? What do you think I would ask for? Does someone born wealthy not care about such things at all?
Yun-seo bit his lip hard, then released it and poured more wine into his empty cup. He didn’t want to fall for false hopes and become dejected. What was decided to be forgotten should remain forgotten. He downed his determination along with the full cup in one go.
“Actually…”
The man before him was undoubtedly a good person, regardless of everything else. So perhaps it would be wiser to confess the truth and receive his help. Hadn’t he praised Yeong Chunhwa for running away, rather than condemning them? So…
‘Is there any great meaning in a dog’s loyalty to its master? The master can abandon the dog, but the dog cannot abandon its master.’
His lips, which had begun to open, closed again. The pessimism and contempt contained in each of those words. Unlike Yeong Chunhwa, he had disparaged Yongrim as merely pursuing self-interest, but according to him, could one truly feel goodwill toward a master who could discard their dog at any time?
He couldn’t understand why Hwi had spoken that way. Perhaps there were Yongrim or Yeong Chunhwa around him and circumstances related to them? Though curious, he decided to bury his questions.
It would be better not to reveal to this man that I am Yeong Chunhwa.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
