Under the forcefully pounding stream of water, Han-gyeom stood there, pushing back his wet hair and letting out a comfortable breath. The sound of the water hitting the clean tiles almost felt like a rhythm. On top of that, the pounding of his heart added the perfect harmony.
It even made him feel as though every sound brushing past his ears had turned into music. He was showering at Won-hyeok’s house. And on top of that, he was washing his hair with the shampoo Won-hyeok used. It truly didn’t feel real. No matter how much he thought about it and turned it over in his mind, it was an incredible thing.
After starting to date Won-hyeok, Han-gyeom had thought there could never be a miracle or happiness greater than this in his life. But he hadn’t expected the chance to step even into Won-hyeok’s personal space to come to him so naturally. Even if this was already his third time coming here, it was the first time he had entered as his official lover.
The first time, he had simply received help with an assignment as a junior. The second, he had only come to do a sort of caregiving for Won-hyeok when he was a patient.
If his life story were ever turned into a book, Han-gyeom had thought it would surely be filled, from start to finish, with nothing but thin, unremarkable content. But after getting to know Won-hyeok, it felt like the events in his life had become quite a bit more colorful.
Done washing up, Han-gyeom dried his body with a towel and picked up the clothes Won-hyeok had handed him. They were just an ordinary white T-shirt and black sweatpants, but even that made him absurdly happy. Without realizing it, he lifted them to his nose, and the familiar scent of Won-hyeok’s fabric softener drifted into him. Fresh and cool.
After changing, Han-gyeom stepped outside and tilted his head when he noticed the clothes he had left by the door earlier were gone. For now, he rummaged through his bag and pulled out his glasses to put them on. He always carried them around because he never knew when he might need them, but he hadn’t expected them to come in handy like this.
He looked for Won-hyeok to ask where his clothes had gone, but from the living room he heard the faint sound of a voice. It seemed Won-hyeok was on the phone with someone. For some reason, the atmosphere felt serious enough that Han-gyeom thought he shouldn’t interrupt, so he quietly stood at the corner where the bathroom connected to the living room and snuck glances at him.
“Please send the materials by email, then.”
Ending the call with those words, Won-hyeok stared fixedly at his phone screen and let out a deep sigh. The way he pushed his hair back as if frustrated looked like a scene straight out of a movie. Like the protagonist in a noir, wrestling mentally before carrying out a mission.
Won-hyeok usually smiled easily, but sometimes, like now, he would wear a blank, unaffected face without smiling or showing any expression at all, and that felt strangely fresh and cool. As expected, someone born with a face like that looked good no matter what expression he made.
At that moment, whether he sensed the gaze on him or simply picked up on Han-gyeom’s presence, Won-hyeok turned and locked eyes with Han-gyeom, who was plastered against the wall, sneaking peeks at him.
“Ah.”
Startled without meaning to, Han-gyeom reflexively ducked back behind the wall, and Won-hyeok let out a small laugh.
“What are you doing over there?”
“Th-that is, I just somehow ended up….”
“You’re done washing? Do the clothes fit?”
“I-I think they’re a little big.”
Han-gyeom came out into the living room where Won-hyeok was standing. Maybe even the clothes he wore casually came from expensive places, because the fabric clinging to his skin felt soft.
Still, Won-hyeok had definitely said before that these were old clothes he used to wear, smaller ones at that, but even those were still a little loose on Han-gyeom. The pants dragged over his heels, and the top hung off him so much at the shoulders that even the neckline sagged a little.
Han-gyeom fiddled timidly with the clothes and smiled awkwardly. And as he squirmed there up close like that, Won-hyeok stared at him intently.
“Sunbae?”
His face was expressionless like before, but something about it felt different. Han-gyeom tilted his head when he saw even his Adam’s apple bob as though he were tense.
“Sunbae, are you not feeling well?”
When Han-gyeom took a step closer, Won-hyeok finally seemed to come back to himself and gave a faint smile.
“No. That’s the smallest one I have, so bear with it even if it’s uncomfortable. Ah, and the clothes you came in, Han-gyeom—I’m washing them, so they should be dry by around tomorrow.”
“What? Y-you really didn’t have to go that far. It’s just going to make you pay for detergent and electricity for no reason….”
“Using that much isn’t going to make me a beggar. I’m going to wash up too, so look around the house or something while you wait. Or watch TV.”
“C-can I really look around the house? Actually, I’ve really wanted to ever since last time.”
“Yeah. There’s not much to see, but do whatever you want.”
Won-hyeok ruffled Han-gyeom’s hair, then quickly disappeared into the bathroom. The moment Han-gyeom heard the bathroom door close, his face bloomed brightly as he kept glancing around at his surroundings. Then he went into the room closest to the bathroom first.
When he opened the half-shut door, what he saw was none other than the bedroom. The moment he saw the fairly large bed covered with a dark blue comforter, Han-gyeom quickly shut the door again. Won-hyeok had told him to look around comfortably, but no matter what, the bedroom felt too personal a space, and for some reason he felt like he shouldn’t go looking in there.
Next, he swept his gaze over the kitchen. Maybe Won-hyeok wasn’t the type to cook much, because there didn’t seem to be that many cooking utensils. It was a little at odds with Han-gyeom, who, in order to save money, made almost every meal at home whenever he was in.
The room attached to the kitchen looked like a study, as well as a space Won-hyeok used personally. The last time Won-hyeok had said he would find assignment materials for him, and also when he lent him a laptop, he had come out of this room.
“It’s so neat.”
Han-gyeom was newly impressed by his tidiness. He himself wasn’t particularly messy either, and he was the type to do a deep clean once a week, but to begin with, he simply didn’t have that many belongings to organize. Won-hyeok, on the other hand, had no shortage of things, yet the room never once felt dirty, which Han-gyeom found fascinating.
On the desk sat a large, expensive-looking desktop computer, and beside it the laptop he had once lent Han-gyeom, plus another laptop a little bigger and thicker than that one.
There was also a bookshelf taking up about half of one wall, and its classification was so tidy it was incredibly easy to take in. As Han-gyeom scanned the shelves full of neatly organized books—novels, major-related books, and so on—he dropped into a crouch with curious eyes. That was because he had spotted something like an album at the very bottom of the shelf.
“I probably shouldn’t look, right?”
Won-hyeok had said he could look around, but he hadn’t said Han-gyeom could touch his things. Besides, it wasn’t exactly polite to look through something without the owner’s permission.
But at the same time, he really wanted to. If it was an album, there were probably plenty of old photos of Won-hyeok in it, and that stirred a certain kind of desire and curiosity in him.
Han-gyeom stared for no reason through the open doorway. The sound of running water still came from the bathroom. It seemed Won-hyeok was still washing up, so wouldn’t it be fine if he just looked until before he came out, then put it back where it had been?
Having come up with what he thought was the perfect solution, Han-gyeom marveled at his own cleverness and carefully pulled out the album. He could tell from the feel of the cover alone that it was a very high-quality album.
The moment he opened the first page, Han-gyeom nearly toppled backward on the spot.
“Sunbae is a baby….”
At the sight of a baby who looked too little to even walk yet, lying on a bed with a bright smile, Han-gyeom clapped a hand over his mouth. It was amazing how even as a newborn, his features had already been so distinct.
The album was neatly arranged in chronological order. As he turned each page, Won-hyeok’s growth continued along with it. Kindergarten recital photos, elementary school entrance ceremony, elementary school graduation. In those, he was pictured with a beautiful woman, who seemed to be his mother.
“So looks really are inherited.”
His mother, with pretty eyes exactly like Won-hyeok’s, suited the phrase classical beauty perfectly. On the next page came Won-hyeok in his middle school uniform. Dressed impeccably in a black uniform with a red necktie, he looked so good that Han-gyeom instinctively pulled out his phone for a second before stopping himself.
“He’s so cute in a school uniform.”
On top of that, even as a student, Won-hyeok’s looks had shown no ups and downs. He had more of a youthful feel than now, but he gave off the strong vibe of that upperclassman from back then everyone probably has one of in their memories. And because he was much taller than his peers, it was easy to spot him in group photos too.
In high school, he had slimmed down more and gotten taller, maybe, because he looked almost no different from how he did now.
“Still….”
Han-gyeom tilted his head as he looked at the photos from Won-hyeok’s middle school graduation day, high school entrance ceremony, and graduation. His mother, who had been in the elementary school photos, was gone, and only a man remained by Won-hyeok’s side.
“Is that his father?”
But if that were the case, he looked a little young. And he didn’t resemble Won-hyeok either.
“Not my father. More like an uncle to me.”
Just then, a shadow fell over him, and Won-hyeok’s voice came from above his head.
“Eek….”
Startled badly, Han-gyeom jolted before slowly lifting his head. Won-hyeok stood there, towel-drying his hair, looking at Han-gyeom crouched down and paging through the album as if he were the one being looked at.
“I-I’m sorry for looking without permission. I really wasn’t planning to, but I got too curious and couldn’t hold back.”
“It’s fine. It’s just an album.”
Draping the towel around his neck, Won-hyeok naturally lowered himself to sit beside Han-gyeom.
“I’m seeing this again for the first time in a while too. I brought it when I moved, but I never opened it even once.”
What memories, Won-hyeok thought as he let out a quiet snort of laughter while looking through the album, and Han-gyeom, inwardly relieved, turned his eyes back to it as well.
“But the person who seemed like your uncle… does that mean he’s not really your uncle?”
“Yeah. He’s a secretary who works with my father, but since he’s been back and forth with our family since I was little, he came to things like this himself. Both my parents were busy with work.”
His father was a successful lawyer, and even now he was so busy he barely had time to breathe. His mother had once been a famous pianist, and though she was retired now, she had also held a professorship at a prestigious university’s College of Arts. So back then, between performances and teaching, she had lived a busy life too.
Still, back then I definitely had a bit more weight on me. Thinking that, Won-hyeok stared fixedly at the album, and somehow Han-gyeom must have interpreted that in his own way, because he started growing fidgety.
“Even so.”
“Hm?”
“I-I still think it means affection, just the fact that they actually made an album like this and kept it.”
At first Won-hyeok wondered what he was talking about, but after thinking about it a little, he understood. Han-gyeom seemed to have assumed that, because of his busy parents, he must have had a slightly lonely school life.
But if anything, it had been the opposite. Far from lonely, Won-hyeok was the sort of person who absolutely hated those atmospheres where crowds of parents would swarm in, take photos nonstop, and congratulate their children at graduations and entrance ceremonies. The reason wasn’t anything special. It was noisy. And even when he was in school, just like now, there was never any shortage of people around him.
If he had to be honest, Won-hyeok didn’t particularly dislike the fact that his parents were busy. Didn’t that just mean the harder the two of them worked, the more inheritance he’d have later?
“I looked closely, and it was all arranged so carefully in chronological order. They must’ve definitely been happy while making this!”
Even so, it wasn’t all that bad, watching Han-gyeom chatter awkwardly as if he were trying somehow to comfort him.
“As for me, forget an album—I don’t even have a single photo from when I was little, so I know even better.”
Resting his chin on his hand as he watched Han-gyeom, Won-hyeok paused at those words.
