In his dream, Nigel was walking hand in hand with someone.
They were family—an older sibling, clearly much older. Who could it be? Nigel thought for a moment before reaching a conclusion.
Right, it was Etna. He was Nigel’s one and only brother.
Etna had taken Nigel to an amusement park. Their parents couldn’t come anymore, but just the two of them had plenty of fun. Etna bought Nigel animal-ear headbands and ice cream. He laughed a lot, saying Nigel looked adorable in the photos.
It probably wasn’t all that exciting to come to an amusement park with a little brother and ride boring kiddie rides, but Et■ never showed it. Instead, whenever they came across a pretty spot, he’d ask a passing tourist to take a picture of them. Nigel posed for photos with Et■■. Because of their age gap, there was a big height difference too. Unless ■■■ knelt down, the hem of the dress ■■ was wearing would block Nigel’s face.
“I wanna ride the roller coaster.”
Nigel, being stubborn, insisted.
“You’re too short.”
“Then ■■, you ride it. That one looks way more fun.”
“I’ve already ridden it a bunch with my friends. Today, this is fun, so don’t worry about it.”
Nigel looked up at ■■’s face. Light brown hair. This wasn’t Etna. He had no idea who it was. The woman’s face was blank.
Nigel screamed himself awake. Over and over.
***
‘Taren’ had collapsed from an unknown illness. Declaring that he was no longer fit to perform his duties, Ruder stripped him of his position as successor. Still, he didn’t completely cast out the one he had once called his son. He arranged for him to recuperate at a villa.
Everything was settled within a week. Ruder assigned ample staff to accompany him—though only a select few close aides knew this was more surveillance than care. And so, Taren vanished, as if he had never existed.
No one paid attention to Taren anymore. All eyes were on Nigel, who, once again the sole heir, had been suffering from high fevers and seizures for days. He repeatedly passed out and woke up in fits.
Ruder didn’t leave Nigel’s side for a second, and King Roderick, feeling indebted, sent an extravagant gift.
Nigel, who had everyone worried, finally woke up—over two weeks after collapsing.
At first, he couldn’t even speak. He just cried endlessly. Ruder, driven half-mad with worry, summoned priests and doctors by the dozen, yelling at all of them.
It took Nigel two days to finally speak.
“…Dad, I’m okay.”
Those short words brought Ruder to tears. He broke down sobbing, clutching Nigel like a child. Nigel, dazed, quietly returned the embrace.
***
Late at night.
Nigel sat alone in his room. He had asked to be left alone, saying he wanted to rest in peace, without anyone watching. Though worried, Ruder had pulled everyone back.
For the past two weeks, Nigel had dreamed—again and again.
Memories of holding ■■’s hand and crying at a funeral packed with people in black mourning clothes.
Of being scared by thunder and lightning outside, curling up in bed alone, and bursting into tears when ■■ rushed in and held him tight.
Of shopping for a middle school uniform with ■■. How proud he’d felt walking into his new school in a slightly oversized outfit. ■■ had shown up, even though there was no reason to come, and it had made him embarrassed—but also happy.
Of throwing a tantrum at ■■ during his rebellious phase and immediately regretting it.
Of the time ■■ got their first job, and they went to the beach together. They played in the water, ate sashimi at a nearby shop, ■■ had a drink, and Nigel comforted them when they cried.
Of the day of the college entrance exam. Even though he’d said not to, ■■ had packed a beautifully arranged lunchbox. It didn’t even taste that good, but he ate all of it anyway.
Of getting into the prestigious university that both their parents and ■■ had attended—and planning a celebratory trip together.
All of them… every last one… were memories that didn’t belong to him. In those dreams, he had shared so much with ■■—but none of it felt real.
“It’s just a dream…”
Nigel muttered to himself.
He could relate more to a stage play than to these dreams. The things he saw in them were unfamiliar, nothing but alien information.
Besides, the world in those dreams had been bizarre. People wore shockingly short clothes without shame. Metal carriages rolled along the streets without horses. Small boxes played high-quality video and sound like powerful artifacts. Despite discrimination, the law proclaimed that people were equal.
It was a truly strange world. One Nigel couldn’t begin to understand.
His world was here. Nigel Grau Montstein, second son of the Duke of Magnus—that was who he was.
And yet, his existence had shattered his family. Ruder had pointed a sword at Etna. Rimera, now a ghost, had cursed him. Etna had collapsed again.
Etna…
His head throbbed.
The scattered memories that occasionally surfaced weren’t Etna’s. Nigel remembered the dreams.
In the past, he had ■■. A sister ten years older. When their parents died young, it was just the two of them left.
Thankfully, their parents had left behind a decent inheritance. Their relatives were good people—not the kind who, like in tragic stories, would try to steal the family fortune. Instead, wealthier relatives lived nearby and often looked after the siblings.
Though their parents’ absence hurt, life flowed by comfortably. Happily. With ■■.
“…Noona…”
The precious person he had… wasn’t a brother.
It was his one and only sister.
“Noona…”
She must be worried. Nigel clutched his head. His memories were a mess.
They had planned a rare trip together. Destination: Jeju Island.
They rented a car. He was supposed to drive, but she stopped him. Said she couldn’t trust a newbie behind the wheel. He argued that it was safer than letting his tired sister drive, but to the sister who had practically raised him, he still looked like a child. In the end, she drove.
He should’ve insisted.
They got into an accident.
A large truck collided with them. Right before impact, she swerved hard. Not to protect herself—but to shield the sibling in the passenger seat.
As his consciousness faded, he saw the seat beside him soaked in blood. So red it couldn’t possibly belong to someone still alive.
Nigel clutched his mouth, nausea rising. The churning in his stomach was unbearable.
He had to go back. He had to go and see what happened to her.
No—why? What did she matter? He didn’t even remember her properly. No name. No face. Just a stranger.
She’s not a stranger. She’s my sister.
Doesn’t matter. I’m just Nigel. I don’t know anyone like that.
“Ah… ugh…”
His head felt like it would split open. Conflicting thoughts warred inside him, both claiming to be his own. He couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to forget.
<Didn’t I tell you to forget?>
The window floating above his head blinked again. Right. It had told him not to remember. To forget it all—his past, everything.
“…It would’ve been easier if I’d just never remembered.”
“It would have.”
The reply came coolly from beside him. Inas didn’t comfort him—he simply confirmed the truth, calmly.
Nigel slumped.
“I’m Nigel.”
“Are you?”
There was a slight edge to Inas’s voice. Nigel didn’t lift his head. He didn’t want to see his face right now.
“I’m Nigel Grau Montstein. Raised by Ruder. After my brother died, I was trained as the next duke…”
“Yes. That’s what happened after you took over that body.”
“You really believe that?”
Frustration boiling over, Nigel snapped. If he wasn’t Nigel, then what was he? His thoughts, his memories—everything belonged to Nigel Grau Montstein. They always had. From the beginning. So what did it matter now?
“Of course you’re Nigel.”
Inas smiled gently.
“But if you’re asking whether you were always Nigel… then no. In the 186th loop, the original Nigel Grau Montstein ran away. And in the 187th loop—you took his place.”
He spoke like a merciless angel, offering truth without pity. Just cold, impartial justice.
