“……”
A heavy silence settled in the room. Cha-hyeon, who had been staring vacantly at Se-min’s uncomfortable expression, unconsciously reached up and brushed his own pale cheek.
But Ji Se-min, preoccupied with trying to understand why his past self would’ve done something so bizarre, didn’t even notice.
Wait. So before I lost my memory, I fell in love with someone ten years older than me? A man, no less? And we were engaged?
Ten years older… how the hell did we even meet? If we were talking about marriage, then we must’ve dated for a while. So… maybe we started seeing each other when I was twenty?
Even if we only started dating once I became an adult, that would mean he was already thirty at the time.
Se-min’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. Something about the whole thing just… didn’t sit right.
People already side-eye freshmen who date returning students. I really don’t want to think this, but if we started even earlier than that, then… isn’t that just straight-up illegal?
Of course, with that face—and what was probably an obscene amount of money—his being ten years older might not have mattered to most. Still, there was something weird about it.
How was someone like him still single at that age? Unless he was being picky and finally made the best choice possible… and that “best choice” was… me? Ji Se-min?
Se-min tilted his head, frowning slightly. It wasn’t that he thought he was lacking, but he couldn’t think of any devastatingly attractive trait that would make an S-rank Esper fall head over heels for him.
How did we even end up together in the first place?
Then it hit him—he was a Guide. A fact he’d somehow forgotten until just now.
Maybe things were different because I was a Guide?
Having always thought of himself as a non-Awakened, Se-min now turned the theory over in his head. After all, they’d even been pair partners.
But, if I’m being brutally honest here… what if it was just the guiding? Like, the guiding was so good it led to physical intimacy, which turned into emotional attachment. That’s more believable, isn’t it?
Se-min’s complexion darkened as the realization sank in. The more he thought about it, the more it felt like the kind of obsessive romance you’d want to physically drag someone away from—with a lunchbox in hand, no less.
Was I just so blinded by love that I didn’t care about the age gap? And now that I’ve lost my memories, I’m finally seeing things clearly for the first time?
“Haaah…”
Se-min let out a soft sigh. He’d never heard of anyone coming to their senses because of amnesia before. As he scratched his cheek in embarrassment, he finally noticed the man in front of him, who looked like he’d just had the wind knocked out of him.
“Ah, sorry. What were we talking about again?”
“……”
“Oh, right. We got as far as you being ten years older than me…”
Se-min’s voice trailed off. He could feel the sharp sting of the man’s gaze as he wiped the corner of his mouth.
Was I too blunt? Still, he really is ten years older than me. It’s not like denying it makes us magically the same age…
Se-min grumbled silently, then suddenly froze mid-thought.
“By the way, um… sir—no, hyung. There’s something I want to ask you. Do you mind?”
“…What is it?”
Cha-hyeon still looked dazed, his fingers rubbing at his face. Se-min kept his tone as respectful and neutral as possible, making it clear he was simply trying to verify something.
“Did we… really date?”
Cha-hyeon’s entire body went still. His eyes widened again, as if he’d just seen a ghost. The man already looked pale and exhausted, but now he seemed genuinely shocked. Se-min, flustered, hurried to clarify.
“I-it’s just hard to believe. That I dated someone like you, and that you even proposed marriage… I mean, you’re the one who said we were engaged, right? I don’t remember any of it…”
He was rambling, but in his own mind, Se-min felt completely justified in asking.
If I can’t even figure out how we ended up together, shouldn’t I at least confirm whether we really were?
“…The ring.”
The man, still looking at him with hollow eyes, let the word fall from his lips.
Ring?
Se-min’s gaze followed instinctively to the fourth finger on Cha-hyeon’s left hand—where a platinum ring shimmered faintly.
“…Huh?”
Then he looked down at his own hand—and there it was, an identical ring, wrapped around his own fourth finger.
How the hell did I not notice this until now?
Se-min blinked, glancing between his hand and Cha-hyeon’s.
Matching rings… So we were a couple.
Just to be sure, Se-min stole a few glances at the designs. They were identical.
“If you don’t believe me, look it up.”
“No, no! It’s not that I don’t trust you or anything, hyung. It’s just… this is all so surreal.”
The silence returned.
So that’s that, Se-min thought.
They had matching rings. Cha-hyeon even told him to go online and check if he wanted.
That must mean we really were dating before I lost my memory. The engagement thing must’ve been true, too… I guess. I still don’t get why, though.
He fiddled idly with the ring on his finger. It must’ve been new—flawless and smooth, catching the light at every angle.
“You don’t have any other questions?”
Cha-hyeon, clearly nervous, was watching him fidget with the ring. Honestly, Se-min didn’t really have anything else he wanted to ask. But he tried to squeeze something out.
“Ah… okay, then why did we decide to get married?”
The question seemed to take Cha-hyeon off guard. To explain that, he’d have to go way back. Talk about how he felt at the time, what they went through, what led them there…
Why would a man in his thirties decide to marry someone ten years younger who hadn’t even graduated college yet?
And here was Se-min, asking the question with no ill intent whatsoever. After struggling to find the right words, Cha-hyeon finally muttered in a small, trembling voice—one completely unlike his usual self.
“…Because I loved you.”
“…Ahh…”
Another silence fell.
So, we decided to get married… because of love. The old me… at twenty-three… because I was in love…
The weight of his own poor life decisions felt too real. Se-min scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
Just then, the pale-faced man suddenly changed the subject.
“This watch. You gave it to me when you proposed.”
Se-min glanced at the silver-toned watch on Cha-hyeon’s wrist. He didn’t know much about watches, but it looked expensive even to an untrained eye.
“Ah… I see.”
The bland response made Cha-hyeon’s brow twitch again. But Se-min was just as lost.
He says I gave that to him during a proposal, but I don’t even remember it. How am I supposed to react?
“It really suits you, hyung. Looks great on you.”
The compliment was awkward and forced. Cha-hyeon, his eyes slightly red around the edges, stared at Se-min without blinking.
“…The rings—I gave those to you when I proposed back.”
“Mm. The rings are… really pretty, too.”
Se-min glanced down at the ring again. Elegant but not too flashy, subtle but striking—it suited both him and Cha-hyeon surprisingly well.
It fits… but I still don’t understand what past-me was thinking.
Watching Se-min with heavy, dark eyes, Cha-hyeon clenched his fists. His pale hand trembled, the faint imprint of worn-out letters visible on his skin.
“Se-min.”
Se-min met his gaze directly. The warm brown eyes that had always held such kindness were the same—but the sacred, desperate, pure affection that used to shine within them was gone.
In the end, Cha-hyeon couldn’t stop himself from asking.
“You really don’t feel anything when you look at me?”
Se-min’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected that. The question shifted slightly.
“When you look at me… what do you feel?”
“…Um… you’re really handsome.”
Se-min’s gaze flicked awkwardly to the side, then back again. Cha-hyeon pressed harder.
“What else?”
What else?
Se-min mouthed the words silently, now standing with his hands politely clasped, visibly tense.
“Uh… being an S-rank Esper, you must be incredibly strong?”
“What else?”
This time, Se-min’s discomfort was impossible to hide. He eyed Cha-hyeon from head to toe, then spoke, almost challengingly:
“…Are you hoping for a specific answer?”
The meaning was clear: Why do you keep asking me this?
Cha-hyeon opened his mouth, then shut it. His throat bobbed as he swallowed whatever words he’d been about to say.
So you really feel nothing? No flutter in your chest, no unexplained affection, no trace of love? Not even the smallest spark?
“…I’m going to step out for some air.”
Cha-hyeon abruptly stood. With reddened eyes, he looked at Se-min one last time— Then turned and walked straight out of the hospital room.
