Translator: include a deleted scene from Isar’s gangster!era
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1-13: The White Roses of Shima (2)
Author: (9) Revised the part where Isar repeatedly writes Lucifer’s name. Now he first tries to resist seeing it, then can’t bear to look away, which feels more natural.
(10) Since Rucifel is capable of healing, Isar should logically ask him about it (Translator: ask Rucifel why he hadn’t heal his hands after cooking and scarring himself) —so I added that line.
(11) When Isar is ill, Metatron being in heat felt odd, so I toned it down to just a kiss.
(12) In the scene where Metatron, after heartbreak, says he’ll treat Isar well, I replaced the original flirtatious line—“We could always revisit what we’ve tried before”—with words of gentle care. This makes it more emotionally impactful for Rucifel to witness.
(13) In the old version, the part where Isar says he wouldn’t hit Lucifer originally went like this:
“I wanted to beat him up too, to tell him that I could live happily without him. But there were reasons I couldn’t:
First, he’s stronger than me—I can’t beat him.
Second, I have no reason to hit him, since he’s never said he loves me.
Third, I can’t bring myself to do it—really, I can’t.”
Some readers said I shouldn’t have changed this part. But I want to explain that cutting out the first line wasn’t without reason. I don’t know whether a submissive type would ever admit defeat, but typically, a guy simply wouldn’t admit he can’t beat someone.
If you don’t believe me, go ask the guys around you: “Do you think Jackie Chan is impressive?” They’ll all say, “Yeah, he’s great.” But if you ask, “So who’s stronger—you or him?” they’ll never flatly answer, “He is.” Instead, they’ll fumble for excuses like, “Well, that’s hard to compare—he’s an actor, after all.”
The more conventionally masculine a man is, the less he’ll ever admit he’s weaker, whether in strength, power, or intelligence. Even if you asked him who’s stronger, him or the head of state, he’d never give you a straight answer.
Conventionally masculine men don’t prioritize looks, they care about perceived strength. Women, on the other hand, tend to notice looks and not perceived strength. A woman can easily say, “I can’t beat you,” to show her softness or admiration for a man. A man can easily say, “I’m not as pretty as you,” to express appreciation for beauty or to show his own indifference toward appearance—his masculine confidence.
But for a man to say, “I’m not as strong as so-and-so”, that’s nearly impossible. They’ll even brag about how they once fought ten guys single-handedly and didn’t go down, when in reality, it was probably just one guy, and he lost.
So when Isar says, “I can’t beat him,” that line actually reflects a conventionally feminine mindset. It was a mistake from when I was younger and didn’t yet understand the difference between how men and women tend to think. Therefore, there’s really nothing to debate here; the line has been changed to: “I have no reason to hit him.”
(14) In the revised lore, Michael was born a six-winged Seraph, so the earlier mention of him having four wings has been corrected.
(15) I’ve finally decided to remove the gang r*pe scene (Translator: in the older version, the gang r*pe wasn’t just attempted and stopped midway, it was fully carried out). Even if it makes the story a little less emotionally painful, I’d rather cut it. It was too disturbing back then.
(16) When Isar is rescued, his first reaction should be surprise, not immediate revenge toward Caro, so I adjusted that as well.
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1-14: Mañjusaka (1)
(1) The little side story about being an “angry youth” (translator: a typical CN term describing a youngster who is angry at the state of society) wasn’t directly related to the main plot, and since the new version removes the “ew, virgins” rhetoric from Heaven (that kind of storyline now exists only in the Demon Realm), that section was deleted.
(2) Because the gang r*pe scene in the previous chapter was changed to an attempted one instead of completed, some related dialogue and plot details here were adjusted accordingly.
(3) In an earlier scene, Isar asked Lucifer, “When can I see you again?” and Lucifer replied, “You’re not going to live with me?” When I wrote that back then, I didn’t really understand romantic dynamics, how there’s actually a big difference between dating and living together. Even in a fantasy setting, it should feel gradual: early relationships are usually polite and exploratory, with both sides testing the waters before deciding how to move forward. So I changed the line to, “When do you want to see me?” Lucifer’s tone is now more careful, showing respect toward Isar.
(4) Since Lucifer is the dominant one, let’s not let Isar so forwardly grope that part of him, removed.
(5) Similar to (3): confessing and being together aren’t the same thing. So Isar’s line to Rucifel—“Lucifer and I are together now”—has been changed to “He says he likes me.”
(6) Cross-checked the foreshadowing in the Mirror of Thunder scene to keep it consistent.
(7) The detail where Isar makes a funny face (Translator: Isar to Lucifer, after the former had found out, finally, that Rucifel = Lucifer) felt too feminine, so I changed it to him dashing off instead.
(8) The issue of angelic lifespans was already explained earlier, so I removed the repeated explanation here.
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1-14: Mañjusaka (2)
(9) Since Lucifer is already with Isar and physically present in the Hall of Splendor, the scene where a female angel chases Isar away no longer makes sense—deleted. (Translator: referring to a guard doing her job in the older version)
(10) Adjusted parts of the dialogue between Lucifer and Isar to make both of them act more masculine.
(11) Lucifer is the absolute top, so before a sex-scene there’s no need for discussion about who’s on top or bottom. Because from the mindset of an alpha top, being on top is simply a given.
(12) Tweaked Lucifer’s reaction to pregnancy; he shouldn’t react so completely blissfully. After all, it’s still a man getting pregnant; there should be some awkwardness.
(13) Made Lucifer a little more lustful—he used to behave too much like an old gentleman, which killed the passion.
(14) Changed their encounter from once to twice: the first time emphasizes physical sex, the second time on the spiritual and emotional, making it complete in every sense….
——
My boyfriend (Translator: they haven’t married yet back then) finally came to visit me in London. At this very moment he’s sitting shirtless, typing away on his laptop, occasionally staring blankly into space—completely unaware that I’ve spent the entire day nervously and solemnly typing out a gloriously elaborate BL H-scene…
P.S. To prevent wild speculation: yes, my boyfriend and I are in a purely Platonic relationship. Please don’t project any of the little general-on-general behavior from the story onto the author = =|||.
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1-15: Of Ideals and of Love (1)
(1) Deleted Lucifer’s line “Want to go again?” after he wakes up. At that point, an older man like him should be showing his charm through subtle teasing and ambiguity, not blunt propositions.
(2) Added more description of Lucifer’s angelic appearance and expanded his dialogue for depth and presence.
(3) In the original, Isar nuzzling Lucifer came off too much like a younger girl, so I made his behavior more masculine.
(4) The paragraph that went:
“After hearing that, I was speechless. Back after my college entrance exams, I’d gotten overexcited, stayed up seventy-two hours straight gaming online, then crashed… When I woke up, my skin actually looked better—like the surface of the moon, full of mysterious abstract beauty. Luckily I’m a healthy young man; my wild vitality let me recover quickly. Otherwise, I’d have been terrifying to look at.”
was removed after much thought. This story is a pseudo–transmigration piece, so there’s no need to include so many references to the human world.
(5) Since Lucifer in the revised version is the dominant gong, he should feel somewhat uncomfortable about being topped. So his reaction was changed from faint amusement to mild displeasure—he now avoids the topic altogether.
(6) The early part of the H-scene was barely altered; surprisingly, I’m still quite satisfied with how I wrote it back then. I just added a bit about Isar’s little general, you know what that means.
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1-15: Of Ideals and of Love (2)
(7) The hymn section was too long in the original, and many readers said it nearly put them to sleep, so I condensed it. Also, the scene where Lucifer worships God made him seem hypocritical and pretentious, so I simply deleted it; he now stands silently to the side instead.
(8) The original line “God spoils him; he’s long used to it” sounded too submissive, which clashes with Lucifer’s dominant persona. I replaced such receiver-type phrasing throughout to better emphasize his commanding nature.
(9) Adjusted Isar’s reaction when he sees Lilith to make it more masculine.
(10) Changed the veil before God’s presence from “a veil of silk” to “a veil of clouds.”
(11) In the new version, “Michael” refers to one person—Isar—and is no longer a shared title. Accordingly, other characters’ reactions to his name have been revised to reflect that.
(12) The pear-cutting scene felt unnecessary and too traditionally Chinese, so I changed it to peeling an apple instead.
(13) Added an explanation for the origin of Mammon’s name.
(14) The historical event referenced here was already mentioned earlier, so I omitted the repetition.
(15) When Michael says he’s breaking up, I made him sound more casual and detached; it makes his decision more convincing.
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1-16: Day of Creation (1)
(1) Added a scene where Lucifer immediately comes looking for Michael after the breakup, to show a bit of that mature, composed charm of an older man.
(2) When Michael breaks up, his hesitation has been rewritten to sound colder and more decisive, he thinks he’s a “manly man”, after all, you know what I mean.
(3) Added more internal monologue to portray Michael’s feelings during the breakup.
(4) Added the new scene where Lucifer leaning on the door and confessing (Translator: the part where he begged Isar to stay with him).
The argument scene between Michael and the other angels turned out to be unnecessary and took up too much space, so I decided to remove it. Here’s what was cut:
I wasn’t late, but I was the last to arrive. An angel, pretending to speak casually, said loudly, “Lord Lucifer’s people really do have airs. Guess it’s not embarrassing to keep everyone waiting.”
Raphael and Gabriel, standing at the front, both heard and exchanged a silent glance.
I turned back. “I wasn’t late. What’s there to be embarrassed about?”
The angel didn’t respond. Another angel of the same rank glanced at my wings and said, “Your face isn’t red, but your wings sure are blue. Rumor says you got exempted from the exam and are supposedly Lord Reynor’s son. Funny how he’s been missing all these years, and suddenly a son pops up. Must’ve been tough, huh, Lord Michael?”
“My father was just that capable. This rank was granted directly by God. If you don’t like it, go take it up with Him.”
“Oh, invoking God already? Impressive.”
“Not just God’s impressive, my father’s impressive, and I’m impressive, too. I can command Twilight of the Apocalypse—can you? No? Then shut your trap.” (Translator: he’s speaking *very* much like a mafia member here, using the gangster-y term “老子” to refer to himself)
He made a disgusted face, his words turning sharper. “Everyone knows your magic’s just forbidden stuff Lord Lucifer taught you.”
I turned fully, closing in step by step, my eyes narrowing. “Say whatever you want about me, but slander him again, and I’ll break you right here.”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Try me and see if I dare! ”
He hesitated. “You got promoted from a Power, didn’t you? Everyone knows you just flattered and clung to Lord Lucifer.”
The crowd started whispering. I gritted my teeth, stomped down hard on his foot, and over his scream, said, “Yeah, I did flatter him! But he doesn’t hand out promotions like candy. So shut that ass of a mouth before I stuff it full of shit!”
He went red, ready to strike back. I rolled up my sleeves, ready to fight too. That’s when Gabriel came over, grabbed me by the collar, and hauled me forward. “Why do you always break discipline? Stand up front!”
Metatron walked over, smiling lightly. “Good morning, everyone. How about I tell you a funny story?”
Silence. A few clueless angels even clapped.
“One day,” Metatron started, “a little white rabbit was running across a field. Suddenly, a big gray wolf jumped out and said, ‘I’m going to eat you.’ Guess what happened next?”
Everyone shook their heads.
Metatron smiled mysteriously. “The wolf ate the rabbit.”
The crowd groaned.
Gabriel clapped her hands, muttering to Raphael, “Lord Metatron’s level of humor just keeps getting higher and higher.” Raphael nodded with a small smile, then turned his gaze toward the carriage. “Michael, come ride with us?”
I nodded and got in. Metatron, looking pleased that he’d chilled the mood, climbed aboard.
I said flatly, “Your Highness is so funny. What a great joke.”
Metatron grinned. “Yes, yes, Your Highness the Savage Roasted Chicken”
(5) Added the detail that alcohol in the Demon Realm has a much higher proof.
(6) Since drinks like rum or brandy wouldn’t exist in this universe, I replaced them with Kriya white wine, a liquor native to the Demon Realm city of Kriya.
With Chapter 17, Volume I, Divine Punishment, will finally be complete—just three more updates to go! Let’s keep pushing~~~☆
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1-16: Day of Creation (2)
(8) The “Romeo and Juliet” dialogue between Lucifer and Michael felt unnatural and out of place, so I replaced it with a different narration that fits their tone better.
(9) Added a scene showing Metatron displaying subtle disdain toward lower-ranking angels, along with Isar’s internal reflection on it.
(10) Removed the line “Graceful and slender, with every step she treads on lotus blossoms”—too Chinese in style for this setting.
This chapter mostly consisted of fixing awkward phrasing and minor wording issues, with a few small additions.
Chapter 17 marks the final chapter of Divine Punishment! Finally almost done – time to toss a little celebratory confetti!
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1-17: Divine Punishment (1)
(1) In the original, God says to Samael, “Half your time will be spent in the form of a serpent.” That line didn’t logically fit with his later transformation into a Satan, so I changed it to: “Your true form shall become that of a serpent.”
(2) The line “You are absolutely right, Almighty God” from Lucifer sounded awkward, so I rewrote it to flow more naturally.
(3) Moved Metatron’s cold joke from the previous chapter to this one for better pacing.
(4) The following passage felt a bit redundant, so I removed it for now and might reuse it later if it fits better elsewhere:
At that moment, Lucifer’s voice rang out: “There’s still some time left—I’ll introduce everyone to humanity and the Garden of Eden.” I turned instinctively toward him. His smile was faint and glacial, as if he were constantly reminding others of the distance between himself and them.
“The Garden of Eden, also called the Garden of the Righteous, lies in Fourth Heaven. Four rivers flow from Eden to water it: the Euphrates, the Tigris, the Gihon, and the Pishon…”
(5) Since Michael is about to return to his original body in this chapter, and nothing he does can alter the past, his earlier abnormal behavior is now explained as an out-of-body experience.
(6) The following passage comes from Original Sin (translator: unrevised version):
He opened his robe before me, revealing his bare chest and the crimson rose upon his pale skin.
He smiled. He said—he said…
“Yes, I am evil. But I’m very honest. I tell you honestly—no one can resist me. I tell you honestly, that even if you are the noble Archangel, I’ll drag you to fall with me.
Greed, vanity, pride… they are my most loved original sin.”
Since Michael shouldn’t be recalling plot events that happen in Original Sin yet, I moved this to a later section.
(7) Because Michael cannot change history, his “sickness” was rewritten as a sudden injury to his wings, preventing him from continuing the performance.
……
Today is September 29, Michael’s birthday! Everyone, don’t forget to join the forum event and claim your feathers at www.tianlaizhiyuan.com! (Translator: no longer open 😢)
Birthday blessing for Michael: Leave a comment while you read—there’ll be a new update tomorrow!
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1-17: Divine Punishment (2)
(8) Added new scenes showing Lucifer’s interactions with Michael before the Fall, as well as Michael’s resulting visions and hallucinations.
(9) Changed “He established Rhodheoga as the Demon Realm’s capital” to “He established Laim as the Demon Realm’s capital.” In the beginning, Lucifer’s palace was indeed in Laim and was only later moved to Rhodheoga, so this corrects a timeline bug.
(10) Added a new scene where Michael teaches Hanniah how to wield a sword.
(11) Since the new version of Heaven already follows a solemn tone from the start, the line “Heaven became even more conservative, until it grew entirely austere” was redundant and has been deleted.
(12) Moved a passage from Original Sin Chapter 1 to this point, ending the book with a cathedral scene. It complements the themes of Divine Punishment and mirrors the opening of Chapter 5, creating a circular structure.
The Right Wing of God was first started on September 30, 2006, which I only just realized that’s the day after Michael’s birthday. A strangely romantic coincidence. 🙂
The original Divine Punishment had a total of 220,000 words, written in just 45 days.
The revised “Eternal Edition” began on February 12, 2011, and now, as of September 30 (initially finalized on the 26th), Part I has been completely re-edited. After trimming away redundant filler and tightening the prose, it’s down by 40,000 words, with new scenes added, totaling around 180,000 words. And to think that it took me more than seven months to polish those 180,000 words… I gotta admire my own persistence.
When I first wrote the original Divine Punishment, it was filled with passion and love, but because I was drafting as I went, the outline wasn’t solid and many story bugs slipped through. By the time the third volume began, the plot was already tangled beyond repair. Still, readers loved it so much that they graciously overlooked the holes, often saying things like, “We love the bond between Michael and Lucifer so much that the plot flaws don’t matter.” That always made me feel deeply guilty. So in this new version, I’ve kept all the most beloved moments (except for a few highly controversial ones) while fixing the inconsistencies, so readers won’t feel the urge to pull their hair out, and the story can still preserve the same tender, bittersweet tension between Michael and Lucifer.
Today is September 30, 2011. It’s been exactly five years since The Right Wing of God first began serialization. With this final revision of Volume I complete, Volume II—Original Sin—will soon begin serialization. I hope you’ll continue to watch over me, so that The Right Wing of God can reach its best possible form.
Thank you to all my longtime readers for five years of unwavering support.
And thank you to all new readers for staying with me through the result of that effort.
Michael, Lucifer, and everyone who’s walked alongside me— we’ll meet again in Original Sin.
Get ready to welcome little Mammon’s arrival. 🙂
RWoG’s 5th Anniversary Event: Don’t forget to visit the official site and grab your Black Pearls! (Crowd: “Yo, how many events are there going to be? OTZ”)
Author: A fan of TLZY & JZYZ
Translating
