The only sound in the quiet hospital room was the faint patter of water falling from the showerhead.
White curtains printed with the hospital logo, a massive TV covering one wall, an IV stand and that oddly rigid hospital bed, even the subtle smell of disinfectant.
It was a place thoroughly unsuited for close-contact guiding, but to a nervous Se-min, none of those details really registered. No wonder…
Am I supposed to just keep sitting here?
Fingers laced, perched awkwardly on the edge of the bed, Se-min tipped back a little. The robe he’d put on after showering first fell slightly open.
Lie down…? That seems weird too.
His body, which had leaned back, popped upright like a roly-poly. He tensed his legs as if to stand at any second, then sagged back into a teetering sit again.
Standing to wait would look silly too…
No matter what he chose, it all looked unnatural. For no real reason, he scraped a nail across the backs of his clasped hands and tucked his lips inward, biting down.
Should I kneel…
His thoughts strayed so far into strange, filthy territory that even he balked. But he was wound tight as a spring. He was about to have his first close-contact guiding; who wouldn’t be rattled?
Hyung hadn’t refused. Until now, hyung had only allowed Contact Guiding with the slightest skinship—Radial Guiding or holding hands and the like—but he hadn’t turned down a higher level than that.
Honestly, he still felt like he was dreaming. Hyung asking, “Want to wash up first?” Hyung stepping into the bathroom with a small smile for him after he’d come out flushed red from the hot water.
Retracing a situation that still felt unreal, Se-min glanced at the button glowing red. A Do Not Disturb button—very Esper/Guide hospital. Cha-hyeon had definitely pressed it while Se-min was showering.
“……”
He looked away as if he hadn’t seen it; the rims of his ears were burning. Raking through his still-damp hair for something to do, he decided that if he was going to be this nervous, he might as well brace for what was about to happen by recalling the guiding training materials he’d memorized by heart long ago.
Since it’s Hyung’s first close-contact guiding too, I should lead him in gently from my side…
Fingers twitching as if to grasp something, Se-min pressed his lips together hard.
He’d longed for close-contact guiding so badly. He wanted to do it well. No—he had to. It was the perfect chance to smooth out Hyung’s wavelength, which had been growing more desolate by the day. Precisely because it was a kind of guiding the original Hyung would’ve never allowed…
His rambling thoughts cut off. He realized he was once again separating the current Cha-hyeon from the original Cha-hyeon.
It was the same person, just with holes in his memory—so why did he keep doing that? If Cha-hyeon found out, he’d surely be hurt. If it were him—if he’d lost his memories and someone kept drawing a line between his past self and his present self—he’d feel wounded too.
Scolding himself for his attitude, Se-min tried to refocus on reviewing the training materials.
Just then—click—the bathroom door opened. All his fretting about whether to wait lying down, sitting, or standing turned pointless, because he sprang to his feet.
He met eyes with Cha-hyeon, who came out in a robe, damp hair draped under a towel. One corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk.
A strange, belated embarrassment rushed in like a tide. Awkwardly shifting his body aside, Se-min gestured at the bed.
“Do you… want to sit?”
Cha-hyeon’s smile deepened. At the tiny snort through his nose, Se-min felt stupid for acting so dim.
Setting the towel he’d been using to dry his hair on the side table, Cha-hyeon didn’t refuse Se-min’s escort. Perching where Se-min had been sitting a moment ago, he spoke.
“Did you wait long?”
“…Not that long. Just… sort of….”
His eyebrows rounded for a second, and then he gave Se-min an intrigued look. Not knowing what there was to find curious, Se-min’s own brows settled into a similar shape.
Because Cha-hyeon stared at him so steadily, the two of them ended up locked in a staring contest for a while. At last, Cha-hyeon let out a pointless laugh.
“Mm. You ‘sort of’ waited?”
He climbed fully onto the bed and adjusted the light next to the red button. The room’s brightness slowly dimmed.
It was long past dark outside. The tension he’d briefly forgotten surged back. In the softened light, Cha-hyeon asked in a low, suggestive tone,
“Are you going to keep standing there?”
“Ah…”
Such a simple question, yet a prickling sensation shot through the lower part of his belly. His cheeks burned hot. His heart hammered so hard he could practically hear it in his own ears. Even if it was the guiding he’d wanted, his nerves were still jangling.
Cha-hyeon simply watched, as if curious what Se-min would do. Rubbing his fingertips lightly over his thigh, Se-min finally asked in a timid voice,
“…Hyung, could you move… just a little… to the side….”
Even though it was a hospital specialized for Espers/Guides and always prepared for an outbreak, there still wasn’t much room on the bed with Cha-hyeon’s solid build taking up space.
“Why? You could just climb on top of me.”
Climb… on. Mind blank, Se-min echoed the words and swallowed. What was about to happen slid all too easily into his imagination.
“Is it that you think you can’t do it?”
“N-no!”
His voice came out too loud, so he coughed to cover it. He rubbed the back of his neck, ducked his head, and was just about to step forward with fresh resolve when—
“You should take off the robe before you come here.”
The low instruction followed. Se-min jerked his head up, blurting without thinking,
“…Huh?”
A mischievous curve split across Cha-hyeon’s lips. There wasn’t a trace of frailty to be found. He softened his eyes with fondness.
“You’re not wearing anything under it?”
It was a smile he’d seen plenty of times, yet somehow it felt unfamiliar. With a gap opening between his lips, Se-min asked, a bit sourly,
“…Huh? What… do you mean….”
“I thought maybe you didn’t want to take the robe off because you weren’t wearing underwear.”
“That’s not it! I am… wearing it.”
As if to prove he wasn’t some pervert, he reflexively reached for the robe’s belt—then paused. Tilting his head slightly as if to say, go on, Cha-hyeon watched.
Saliva kept pooling in his mouth. His throat bobbed, then he slowly began loosening the knot that held his robe closed.
Except when he was a kid, he’d never shown bare skin in front of someone else; a primal embarrassment lingered. Even so, once the knot came fully undone and the robe slid off, he folded it neatly and set it on the side table—hesitating a little here and there, but without any major delay.
“Hhh…”
The gaze raking over every inch of his bare body burned. With both hands drawn in toward his middle, he tried to square his shoulders—a last-ditch attempt to make his body look even a bit better.
A soft, amused sound came from Cha-hyeon’s nose. That made him abandon the attempt to look broad-shouldered. With a faint blush tinting both cheeks, Se-min received a gentle command.
“Come here.”
His heartbeat, climbing steadily higher, now felt loud enough for Hyung to hear. The place that had been filling with blood ever since he’d started waiting for him was making an outline against his underwear.
Even if he tried not to show it, he couldn’t help moving a little stiffly. He didn’t need a mirror to know his face must be flushed.
At last, standing before Cha-hyeon, Se-min took a short, steadying breath. Even in the low, dim light, Hyung’s eyes sparkled as he looked up at him.
Jewel-like eyes. Se-min’s gaze was naturally drawn in. A beat later came the thought that it had been a long time since he’d seen Hyung’s eyes shine with that kind of life. Lately, Cha-hyeon had looked exhausted, working hard to hide how worn down he was…
Not enough guiding…
All roads led to one conclusion. Even with his nerves skittering, his heart ached as if tearing.
Biting down on the soft inside of his cheek, Se-min climbed onto the bed. The thought that only if he did something could Hyung recover pushed aside the embarrassment of a first time.
He planted both hands on Cha-hyeon’s shoulders. Spreading his legs to straddle him, he ended up kneeling with his knees on either side of Hyung’s thighs.
He’d managed to get on top, but actually sitting down made him hesitate. He was naturally lean, but he was still a man; with muscle and bone, there was no way he’d feel light.
In the end, he set only about half his weight down. He could feel the firmness of Hyung’s thigh beneath his backside. His fingers, resting on Cha-hyeon’s shoulders, curled inward.
His throat worked. But nothing went down; his mouth was dry as dust. Hesitating, he slowly met Hyung’s eyes.
“Good boy.”
The eyes that shone more vividly than ever turned to crescents. He gave Se-min’s butt a couple of light pats in praise, like indulging a child.
It didn’t suit two people half-undressed and on the cusp of close-contact guiding. Se-min gave a sheepish laugh.
“Up close… you’re even prettier.”
“…Why do you keep saying I’m pretty today? You never say stuff like that usually—oh.”
Flustered, he grumbled for no reason and trailed off. Of course—one of Cha-hyeon’s eyebrows arched.
Raising his right arm, Cha-hyeon cupped both of Se-min’s cheeks in his palm. He gripped with enough strength that Se-min’s mouth fell open and his cheek flesh bulged over the heel of that hand.
“Ah…!”
“We’re getting married and I rarely even tell you you’re pretty? That was the worst, Sung Cha-hyeon.”
Joking like it was someone else’s story, he wrinkled his nose. Se-min’s lips, jutting like a little fish, trembled.
Not only had his cheeks been seized, he also hesitated over whether to point out again that the lovers line had been a joke—so he missed his chance to make excuses.
“When I said I’d keep it, you thought I meant I’d keep my mouth shut, too? Well, either way…”
Giving a squeeze and letting go, Cha-hyeon toyed with his cheeks for a moment. His smile deepened.
“Stick out your tongue, Se-min.”
