‘Even using just this much of my ability, the runaway risk index is already at 30.’
Since there was no reaction when I entered, it probably started at 0. Even though I was only drawing out 50% of my ability and spreading it in all directions, the number was rising too quickly.
‘My mind knows, but my body can’t keep up.’
Perhaps this was the expected outcome. The lack of field experience essentially meant my body was like a plant in a greenhouse.
After I got a dedicated guide, the government thoroughly utilized me as an S-class esper, and I quickly built up my skills based on field experience. My body had to adapt as well, so my senses became more acute and my mental fortitude became as tough as a bull’s tendon.
But my current body wasn’t like that. Using this ability, which required a high degree of concentration and control, was putting a significant strain on my body even though I wasn’t using it excessively.
I jumped off a rock and sprayed a flame net, woven like a spider’s web, in all directions. It was a method I had devised after thinking: I want to use wide-area skills, randomly dropping a rain of fire consumes too much power, and receiving guiding is difficult.
I watched as the monsters caught in the net struggled and burned to a crisp. There had been an enormous number of monsters, but after hitting them with the arrow rain followed by the net, there were now only a handful of them still standing properly.
“For the rest, one finger is enough.”
I concentrated fire at the tip of my finger. When the red flame turned blue, I flicked it toward the remaining monsters like shooting a marble. As soon as the small blue flame, the size of a bean, touched a monster, it instantly expanded and engulfed the monster’s entire body. The so-called Hell Gun. Once it catches fire, the flame doesn’t extinguish until it’s completely annihilated.
Beep beep. I checked my band at the warning sound. Somehow the runaway index had risen to 70.
The runaway risk index is fine up to 100, but once it exceeds 100, an esper’s risk of going berserk increases exponentially. Generally, one would go berserk before reaching 200. In the past, my index was always over 130, and on the day I went berserk, it had reached 190.
‘I used 50% of my ability to this extent, and it’s only at 70—is that good?’
70 was a very stable number for me, but I thought that from Song Songi’s perspective, she might consider it dangerous since I had a mission tomorrow. I thoroughly eliminated even the monsters hiding underground before leaving the training room. Just before I left, the index had stopped precariously at 79.
After finishing training, Song Songi always had a meeting time with me. This was to give feedback based on the training results. However, contrary to expectations, Song Songi didn’t even glance at me as I came out of the training room. With a very serious expression, she was sifting through various graphs floating as holograms.
Curious about what was so serious, I pretended not to look while secretly peeking, and saw that all the graphs had “Esper Woo Jeongjae (S) Accuracy 99%. Analysis Complete” at the top. I could immediately tell that the abilities I had just used in the training room had been quantified in an easy-to-understand way and had fallen into Song Songi’s hands. After all, wearing the band during training was for this kind of analysis.
‘This should be data she’s always seen, so why is she so serious?’
Espers who awaken as minors must receive mandatory education as espers, but according to the Minor Protection Law, combat ability field training could only begin at the age of twenty. I met Song Songi here for the first time when I turned twenty, and since then, she had been collecting and managing data about me.
Even though I hadn’t shown up for training for a few days, this should be data she regularly saw, so I was puzzled as to why she was sighing so heavily with such a serious expression.
‘Is my condition that serious?’
Among the collected data, she was focusing on a graph showing how the runaway risk index had risen over time, physical ability activity charts, and the attack damage and hit rate inflicted on monsters.
She was so concentrated that she didn’t notice me standing right behind her. I deliberately removed my band and placed it on the desk where she was sitting, making a sound.
At the “thud” sound, Song Songi flinched and turned to look at me.
“Ah, Esper Woo Jeongjae.”
Pushing up her slightly slipped glasses, Song Songi cleared her throat, “Ahem,” trying to appear calm. But it was too late; I had already seen everything.
“Research Director, is there a problem?”
But sometimes it’s necessary to pretend not to know even when you do. Since I had nothing to gain by provoking her proud nature, I deliberately asked without looking at the hologram.
“The data is strange.”
Song Songi turned her head toward the hologram she had been looking at and put on a serious face again.
“This is an absolutely ridiculous figure.”
Her answer was closer to a muttered self-talk than a response to me. I glanced at Song Songi, who seemed to have forgotten my presence again as she stared blankly at the figures floating in the air. And I also skimmed the data before me, following her gaze. Except for the dramatically lower runaway risk index, these were results that would naturally have appeared when I, at 27, trained.
‘Ah, right now I’m 22.’
Not understanding why this was a problem at first, I then realized that I was currently in a state of regression. Obviously, there was a tremendous difference between my abilities at 22 and at 27. For 5 years, without ever receiving proper guiding, my ability became directly linked to survival in extreme environments. Without receiving guiding, I couldn’t utilize even a quarter of my S-class power, and I had no choice but to hone my ability like a well-forged sword. And now Song Songi was seeing the results of those 5 years.
‘I should have concealed my ability more—how am I going to explain this?’
Although there was a 50% restriction in place, since the very purpose of coming to train was to check the condition of my body, I didn’t really hold back and used my abilities freely this time. It was natural for Song Songi to react this way.
‘Let’s just stay quiet for now. Keeping my mouth shut is half the battle.’
As I was increasingly leaning toward the idea that I should feign ignorance no matter what Song Songi asked me, she started anxiously tapping her fingers on the desk. This was a habit she often showed when deep in thought.
The reason I remembered such a trivial habit was simple. Ever since my runaway risk index stopped decreasing at some point, she always tapped the desk whenever she met me.
An S-class esper who wasn’t receiving guiding but didn’t want to change guides, with good skills but a high runaway risk index—a troublemaker. That was how she saw me at that time.
“I’ve never seen a case where skill suddenly increased this much in such a short period.”
Song Songi turned to me and spoke, as if her thoughts had been organized.
“What on earth happened in the past week? When I heard you said you had special training, I thought it was a joke, but why have you suddenly become a monster?”
It was the reaction I had expected. I fully understood her confusion, so I was nodding along agreeably, but at her last words, my thinking froze unexpectedly.
‘Monster?’
Hearing from Song Songi the word that Joo Seolhyeon often used to describe me, I frowned.
Past memories began to creep up again.
‘You’re a monster. It’s creepy, so stop looking at me with those eyes.’
‘Know your place. Being a monster and all.’
‘Hah, trying not to be a monster, are we?’
The words used to refer to me often changed. But he never once properly called me by my name. Nevertheless, I didn’t mind much. Whether he called me a monster or a beast, the fact that he was seeking me out was more important to me.
What actually troubled me was the look in his eyes when he saw me. It would have been better if he had just ignored me or looked at me as if I were insignificant, but he didn’t see me as a fellow human being.
He used to look at me with the same eyes as when he looked at monsters with bizarre appearances that appeared in dungeons. He hated me terribly, as if he couldn’t even tolerate having me in his sight. Each time, even though I hadn’t asked anything of him, and hadn’t done anything either, I felt like I was a being that caused harm just by breathing.
“Esper Woo Jeongjae?”
“…Yes?”
The emotions that had surfaced in response to the word “monster” sank back down to the depths where they had been, at the sound of Song Songi’s voice. It felt like I had discovered a fragment of my unconscious that even I hadn’t known about. It was unsettling to realize that the wounds and pains I had experienced hadn’t disappeared but had been eroding me like this. I felt nauseated.
“I’m sorry. With these figures, it must have put a strain on your body, and I didn’t pay attention to that aspect. Would you like to move to the artificial guiding room right away?”
Seeing my darkened complexion, she might have thought it was a side effect of using my ability after training, as she apologized uncharacteristically.
I wasn’t tired at all, nor did I need guiding, but this was clearly an opportunity to escape from this awkward situation right away. I deliberately didn’t relax my expression and accepted her kindness with a faint smile.
“Thanks for your concern. I was feeling a bit tired anyway.”
“Rather than artificial guiding, it might be better to call one of your temporary guides who’s available.”
“I think that’ll be fine. For now, I’ll receive guiding in the artificial guiding room, and if that’s not enough, I’ll contact them myself.”
The artificial guiding room was a space used by espers in the absence of a guide. The efficiency was terribly low, and since it was guiding artificially applied using machines, it put a lot of strain on an esper’s body. Naturally, it felt awful to use.
That’s why espers rarely came here except in emergencies when guiding was absolutely necessary. But for me, it was the only space that could replace Joo Seolhyeon, and it was something of a sanctuary.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
