Every breath was filled with a thick floral scent. The fragrance was so strong that it felt as if I were lying in the middle of a garden in full bloom, dizzying to the point of lightheadedness.
I barely managed to lift my heavy eyelids, but something cool covered them again. My blurred vision was swallowed once more by the steady darkness.
“Ugh.”
Something hot and soft brushed against my neck. A fleeting touch, skimming over my skin, left a trail that burned as though I might be scorched.
The suffocating weight of the blanket over my body seemed to have vanished. Over my sweat-dampened clothes, a warmth similar to the one covering my eyes settled.
That warmth, which had been carefully sweeping down my clothes, soon slipped beneath the fabric that clung to my skin. I bit my lower lip hurriedly, afraid that an embarrassing sound might escape me.
“Hngh.”
I couldn’t tell if this was a dream or reality, my feverish body blurring the distinction. The scent wrapping around me made it even harder to be certain.
My body felt as if it were floating in midair, yet the sensation of something grazing my skin was vividly clear. When that presence lingering near my neck brushed lightly against my chin, I finally realized—it was someone else’s lips.
The moment I clamped my lips shut to stifle any sound, a thumb pressed against them. And then, lips replaced that touch. The warmth creeping into me was unbearably hot, much more than the cool hands exploring my body—hotter than even my feverish self.
Without thinking, I reached out and grasped the unseen person’s collar tightly. The deeper the kiss grew, the more I struggled for breath. Even when the hand covering my eyes lifted, my vision remained shrouded in darkness.
The searing heat invading my mouth withdrew, leaving only the mingling warmth of our shallow breaths against my face. Lips that had lingered hesitantly over mine moved gently once more.
—Seo-yul hyung…
A quiet voice calling my name echoed in my ears. Startled, I snapped my eyes open.
I sat up in a flash, scanning my surroundings, but the room, cloaked in thick darkness, held only me.
“…Haah.”
My frantic gaze darted to every corner, but there wasn’t even a shadow of another person. I was completely alone. Only then did my tense shoulders finally relax.
Exhaling the breath I’d been holding, I wiped the cold sweat beading on my forehead. The line between dream and reality had blurred so much, but in the end, it had only been a dream.
I should have felt relieved, but something about it unsettled me. I had rarely dreamed, even when I was Jung I-hyun. Though I couldn’t see clearly in the darkness, the voice that had called me at the end was unmistakably—
“Let’s not think about it.”
I forcibly cut off my own thoughts and lay back down on the bed. The blanket, damp with sweat, felt unpleasant, but calling someone to replace it was even more of a hassle.
Still, perhaps the medication had kicked in while I slept. My fever had dropped significantly. I lifted a hand to my forehead—there wasn’t even a trace of warmth left.
It felt as if the cold hand I had felt in my dream had taken my fever away.
As my mind cleared, the worries I had pushed aside came rushing back. Right. Vin had returned. The disaster I had sent far, far away had come back on its own.
The only relief was that the future foretold in Mad Love wouldn’t come to pass. In that story, when Vin returned to Zone 5, he had already become the district leader of Zone 1.
But the Vin standing before me now wasn’t a district leader—he was merely an investigator sent by them. He hadn’t come to raze Zone 5 to the ground but only to conduct an investigation regarding electricity.
So after this one week, he would leave again. Now that he was someone from Zone 1, there was no choice but for him to stay here only briefly before returning.
“…He’s grown a lot.”
After eight years, Vin had changed in many ways. His vivid red hair and eyes remained the same, but now he was so tall that I had to tilt my head back to meet his gaze.
Broad shoulders, a firm chest, and large hands lined with prominent veins. He had completely shed his boyish appearance. It felt unfamiliar, but the way he looked at me was still the same.
Or maybe… it had changed just a little.
I haven’t changed at all.
An omega’s growth halts after their secondary gender manifests. That’s why most omegas have small, delicate bodies and appear younger than their actual age.
Since I had presented at eighteen, my body had stopped growing then. In other words, I wasn’t any different from the person Vin had left behind eight years ago. But Vin… he had changed so much.
As if to show just how much time had passed without me.
How had Vin spent his years without me? Judging by his current appearance, it seemed Han Jae-hoon had kept his promise to me. He must have lived without lacking anything. And he deserved that much.
—Seo-yul hyung.
That quiet voice from my dream echoed in my ears once more.
Before I knew it, my absentminded hand had begun retracing the path of the touch I had felt in the dream.
My fingers slowly traced over the places where that icy, almost freezing hand had slipped beneath my sweat-soaked clothes. As my hand drifted upward, nearing my chest, I snapped back to my senses and yanked it away.
“…What the hell am I doing?”
Embarrassed, I ruffled my hair roughly and turned onto my side. I stared at the cold moonlight pouring in through the window before closing my eyes, but sleep refused to come.
No matter how many times I tossed and turned, it was the same.
The real problem, however, was something else entirely.
Ever since I became Han Seo-yul, I had never once felt this way—but now, a certain part of my body was standing stiff.
“…Fucking annoying.”
I tried to ignore it, but unfortunately, there was an even bigger issue brewing in the back.
In the end, unable to bear it any longer, I got up and sluggishly trudged over to the wardrobe.
I pulled off both my pants and underwear in one go and reached for a fresh set. For a brief moment, I stared at my drenched underwear, hesitating. Should I wash it myself so that the servants wouldn’t notice, or should I just leave it?
“…I’m not a damn teenager.”
The embarrassment was unbearable.
Groaning under my breath, I continued debating before finally grabbing the soiled underwear and quietly slipping into the bathroom.
I filled the sink with water and tossed the underwear in. As I mindlessly scrubbed at the fabric with my hands, a wave of deep self-loathing hit me. Eventually, I shook the water off my hands and, instead of placing the underwear in the laundry basket, threw it straight into the trash.
“Fuck…”
Muttering a curse I rarely used, I walked past the bed and headed for the table instead.
I flung the window wide open, letting the cool night breeze sweep into the room. By the time the stale, cloying scent of chocolate had dissipated, I reached for a cigarette from the silver case. Nothing worked better than a smoke to clear my head.
I struck a match against the flint, watching as a small, crimson flame flared to life. As I absentmindedly brought the tip of the cigarette toward the fire, the dream resurfaced in my mind. My fingers instinctively twitched, and the match slipped from my grasp.
“Shit—”
I sprang up, quickly stomping out the tiny flame with my slippered foot. The momentary panic of nearly setting the room on fire killed whatever craving I had left.
I tossed the charred match into the ashtray and set the unlit cigarette down beside it. Leaning back into the chair, I stared up at the moon, but no matter how hard I tried to suppress them, the thoughts I had worked so hard to push away kept creeping back in.
Maybe it was because the sensations had been too vivid, even for a dream. No matter how hard I tried to shake it off, the lingering touch clung to me like a leech. Even knowing it wasn’t real, my body refused to forget.
Just like those flame-colored eyes that had once bound me in place with a single glance.
“One week, that’s all.”
I had already been spending most of my time holed up in this room, so I decided to avoid going out at all while Vin was here. As an investigator from Zone 1, he wouldn’t have the luxury of barging into my space whenever he pleased.
Once this week was over, Vin would leave. Life would return to its usual quiet, and the ache of longing would sink back into the depths, as if it had never surfaced in the first place.
Vin would be the same. Whatever reason had brought him back, it was only temporary. Eight years was more than enough time for once-intense emotions to fade into obscurity.
We would both return to our respective places. Time would pass, and eventually, we would forget. It would be as if I had never existed in his world, and Vin would continue on with his life, unaffected.
But me—could I really do the same?
I pulled away from the chair and reached for the framed portrait on the table, flipping it over. The image of Vin, frozen in time eight years ago, overlapped with the man he had become.
The hollow space of those lost years clawed at my chest, leaving a sharp, stabbing ache.
Clenching my eyes shut, I hurled the portrait into the ashtray and pulled out another match.
I struck it against the flint. The small flame flickered to life once again. I brought it closer, ready to burn away these wretched attachments and useless longing, but in the end, I let out a sigh and snuffed the flame out.
Reaching into the ashtray, I retrieved the portrait, brushing off the soot.
Vin was smiling brightly in the picture.
That’s right. I must not forget.
The Vin I knew ended here.
Beyond this moment, he became someone I no longer recognized.
“…Please, just stop thinking about it.”
Don’t waver for someone who’s only passing through.
That was the promise I made to myself.
