As I stared blankly at the weakening moonlight, slowly fading before the rising sun, I must have dozed off. By the time I opened my eyes again, the morning was already in full bloom, and the gentle sunlight had settled lightly upon my head.
Sleeping in an uncomfortable position had only made my already aching body feel stiffer. Slowly, I leaned against the table and stood up, stretching out my stiffened arms and legs when someone knocked on the door.
“Come in.”
The door opened the moment permission was given. A servant entered, pushing a cart laden with breakfast, and set out a feast on the table—far too much food for one person to eat alone.
“Please enjoy your meal.”
After offering a polite bow, the servant exited the room. I took a seat and stared at the spread before me. No matter how I looked at it, there was no way I could finish all this by myself.
‘I’m going to end up leaving most of it.’
Picking up the spoon, I scooped up a large spoonful of thick potato soup. But as I lifted it to my mouth, my gaze unconsciously drifted to the empty seat across from me—the seat where he should have been.
I hesitated for a moment but quickly pushed the feeling aside, finishing my bowl of soup in no time. I then reached for the neatly arranged bread in the basket.
Spreading red strawberry jam over the soft bread, I took a bite. That was when the emotions I had been trying so hard to suppress suddenly surged to the surface. I didn’t know why. My chest ached unbearably, a dull throbbing radiating from deep within.
“Ugh…”
Clutching my tightening chest, I waited for the pain to subside. But no matter how much time passed, it showed no signs of easing. With difficulty, I lifted my head—only to see his empty seat once more.
That was when I finally realized it. This unbearable ache was longing. The mark engraved deep between us was making me yearn for him to the point of madness.
‘I have to go. Right now.’
I pushed myself up from the chair, forcing my unsteady legs to move. It took a great deal of effort just to reach the door and step outside. The moment I did, my waiting attendant gasped and caught me as I nearly collapsed.
“What’s wrong, my lord?”
I was out of breath from just those few steps. Struggling to steady my breathing, I gripped the attendant’s arm even tighter and finally voiced the words I had been holding back.
“I want to go to Vincent.”
It had been quite some time since he left Helen’s estate, yet not once had I allowed myself to express the overwhelming longing that surged within me.
But today was different. My chest kept aching, a persistent, unbearable throbbing. No matter what, I had to see him.
“Take me to the estate.”
“But—”
The attendant, visibly troubled, tried to calm me down. But I was adamant. I had to go to him, no matter what. Our argument went on for quite a while.
“Vincent ordered me to keep you safe until everything is settled.”
“When will that be?”
He had promised to return soon, yet it had been nearly a month with not a single word from him. I wanted to ask someone, but neither the servants nor even the attendants ever mentioned his name in my presence, as if they had all agreed upon it beforehand.
He had said it wouldn’t take long. But how much longer was I supposed to wait, uncertain and helpless? Just yesterday, I had convinced myself I could endure it a little longer. But I was wrong.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, and the attendant turned pale, desperate to console me. Begging me not to cry, he tried to calm me down, but stopping the tears was easier said than done.
“I can’t say for certain… but it shouldn’t be much longer.”
With a deep sigh, the attendant gave me the best answer he could. I wiped my damp cheeks with my sleeve and clutched his arm tightly.
“Please prepare a carriage to take me to the estate.”
I no longer wanted to wait endlessly, clinging to the hope that this would all be over soon.
***
“Joshua.”
At Jeremy’s call, dull, lifeless eyes slowly shifted. Joshua turned his head toward him, his face deathly pale. He looked less like a living person and more like a walking corpse.
“Can you stand?”
Jeremy asked, but Joshua gave no response. He only stared blankly, not even blinking. To make matters worse, clear drool dripped from his slightly parted lips.
Letting out a long sigh, Jeremy pulled down his sleeve and wiped Joshua’s mouth. Even as he did, Joshua’s eyes remained unfocused, wavering aimlessly.
“This is all?”
Jeremy turned to the physician standing beside him. The doctor, bowing deeply, responded with a trembling voice, stammering as he explained that this was the best he could do.
“There’s nothing more I can prescribe at this point. He’s already at his limit.”
At the physician’s warning, Jeremy reluctantly set down the bottle of medicine in his hand. As much as he wanted to shove the pills down that gaping mouth, he still needed Joshua.
Tomorrow was the final day of the inauguration ceremony. Joshua had to be there for the district leader’s declaration—there was no way they could let the public see him in this state.
An inauguration without the former district leader’s presence would already raise concerns. But if word got out that a Shining was defective, the suppressed opposition forces would undoubtedly rise up in rebellion.
Although the central elders had sided with Jeremy, no one outside of this room knew just how unfit Joshua had become.
One had a strong color but was an idiot, while the other had a diluted color and was therefore unqualified to be the district leader. The two remaining Shining in the estate were both defective in their own ways.
‘This can’t go on.’
Growing impatient, Jeremy forcibly pulled Joshua up from the bed. The physician, startled, tried to stop him, pleading for restraint, but Jeremy shoved him aside and dragged Joshua’s limp body off the bed.
“Stand up straight, Joshua.”
“……”
“Stand on your own. Stop rolling your damn eyes around like a fool and stand properly!”
“……”
“You worthless piece of shit, I told you to stand up!”
No matter how hard he yelled or shook him, Joshua’s legs kept giving out, folding uselessly beneath him. The moment Jeremy let go, he collapsed to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut.
Jeremy clawed at his hair in frustration before yanking Joshua up again. But no matter how many times he tried, Joshua couldn’t stand on his own, not even for a second.
“Aaaagh!!”
Jeremy suddenly screamed in rage, grabbing whatever he could get his hands on and hurling it across the room, smashing and breaking everything in sight. The servants rushed to move Joshua to safety, while the physician cowered in a corner, shielding himself.
Only after turning the entire room upside down did Jeremy finally stop, exhaling deeply. His eyes, gleaming with murderous intent, locked onto Joshua, who was now being held up by the servants.
“J-Jeremy, sir!”
Ignoring the panicked cries, Jeremy strode forward and seized Joshua by the collar. The servants tried to intervene, but the cold, lethal glare he shot them made them shrink back in fear. Jeremy took a deep breath, raising the same hands he had just used to destroy the room.
Smack!
A sharp slap rang out as Joshua’s head snapped to the side. The servants gasped in horror, but Jeremy didn’t stop. He kept striking Joshua’s face over and over, until his cheek swelled grotesquely and split open, blood seeping from the torn flesh.
Once Joshua was left a bloody mess, Jeremy tossed him aside like garbage and casually dusted off his hands. The crimson blood splattered across the floor was as vivid as Joshua’s hair.
A fool of a brother, revered simply because of his vibrant color, while Jeremy himself was ignored. Joshua had never been superior to him—not even once. The only thing he had going for him was his damn color.
‘Why Mother, why everyone else?!’
The inferiority complex he had tried so hard to suppress threatened to explode. He tried to calm himself by reminding himself that in just one more day, District 1 would be his, but it wasn’t easy.
Jeremy clutched at his hair in distress, breathing heavily, until he finally regained his composure. He exhaled slowly, his expression turning cold and unreadable.
“Useless bastard.”
Spitting on Joshua’s head, he turned and walked out of the room. As he pulled a pocket watch from his inner coat, he confirmed that there were only a few hours left until the final day of the inauguration.
Joshua wouldn’t magically recover overnight. That meant he had to come up with another plan. Even if it was just for the final day, he needed a way to convince everyone that Joshua Shining was still standing strong.
“Attendant.”
At Jeremy’s call, the attendant waiting outside quietly stepped forward. The risk of exposure was high, but there were no other options left.
The only choice now… was for him to become Joshua.
“Find me the closest match to Joshua’s color.”
Color—the curse that had shackled him until the very end.
