Chapter 62
Having left school and arrived home, Kwon-ju collapsed without even the energy to shower. Regret washed over him belatedly. I should have just said it was a mistake. His entire body felt constricted and stifling—he wanted to take off the clothes he was wearing but lacked even the energy for that. So for the first time in his life, he lay on his bed still wearing his outdoor clothes.
“What’s wrong… I don’t want to move.”
Kwon-ju buried his face in the soft blanket and remained motionless for a long time, as if dead. And he stayed that way until the next day. It felt like his sensitive temperament, which he had carefully suppressed since entering university, had finally erupted. A fever seemed to be creeping up too, and he was in no mood to go to school.
Why am I so messed up? While others do this without any problem, he couldn’t understand why he alone felt so suffocated and distressed. Without Ji-won, he wouldn’t have attended the opening ceremony or MT, and if Ji-won hadn’t introduced him to his classmates, he wouldn’t have become friends with them or would have stopped interacting with them long ago.
Even in the midst of this, the stupid thought occurred to him that Ji-won might have contacted him. Harboring expectations he shouldn’t have, Kwon-ju picked up his phone and felt somewhat deflated at the single KakaoTalk message waiting.
[Not coming? They’re about to take attendance]
[Why didn’t you come?]
It was from Gi-yeong, who was curious why Kwon-ju hadn’t shown up for their first-period class together. Though he received this concerned message from an unexpected person, no trace of gratitude could be found on his haggard face. Still, in recognition of the thoughtfulness, Kwon-ju sent a quick reply.
[Sick]
[You’re sick?]
A response came back immediately, in less than 5 seconds, as if Gi-yeong had been watching his phone. Why is he asking again when I just said I’m sick? Lacking the motivation to reply further, Kwon-ju simply flipped his phone over. Then, finally feeling slightly more alert, he gathered his clothes and staggered to the bathroom. He felt he needed to lower his body temperature.
* * *
Unable to sleep despite lying still, Ji-won spent the night awake. Now he was attending lectures alone and heading to eat lunch alone. With so many thoughts in his head, the professor’s voice bounced off completely, and he couldn’t keep track of time properly, so he rushed out without eating breakfast—the day had been off to a bad start.
Ji-won hesitated as he was about to enter the student cafeteria, thinking he would just grab some bibimbap. Kwon-ju doesn’t like eating alone. No, he’s made friends with his classmates, so he’ll be eating with them… Is he even in there right now?
“Hyung!”
Ji-won, who was trying to clear his mind and act normal as he entered, paused again at the familiar address. But the voice didn’t belong to the person he was thinking of. Turning around with an awkward smile, he saw Gi-yeong, whom he had introduced to Kwon-ju, waving at him. He glanced around slightly, but that face that would stand out even from a hundred meters away was nowhere to be seen. Why is he alone during lunch? Couldn’t he ask others to eat with him?
“Can you contact Jang Kwon-ju by any chance?”
“Huh? Uh… no.”
“I’m worried something might have happened to him. I’m feeling anxious that I might be the last person to ever contact him.”
Gi-yeong frowned as he tapped his phone screen. Ji-won noticeably flinched at those incomprehensible words.
“Why? What happened?”
“Well… he didn’t come to morning class today. Earlier, he said he was sick, so I asked about it, but he hasn’t checked my messages since then. He’s seen them though.”
Gi-yeong held his phone up in front of Ji-won’s eyes as if to say, “Look at this.” There wasn’t a shred of lie in his words. All of Gi-yeong’s KakaoTalk messages sent about two hours ago showed that the ‘1’ had disappeared. This meant Kwon-ju had read them but… why couldn’t he reply if he was able to check his messages?
“I thought you’d know since you’re closest to him.”
Gi-yeong spoke as if he genuinely hadn’t expected Ji-won not to know, and turned off his phone screen. Both Kwon-ju’s KakaoTalk message saying he was sick and Gi-yeong’s casual muttering bothered Ji-won.
“But when I last saw him, he was totally fine. Thinking about it now, he might just be sleeping.”
Gi-yeong’s hypothesis that Kwon-ju couldn’t respond because he was asleep seemed very plausible. It was also a very normal reaction one might have to a male classmate’s silence. Normally, if someone says they’re sick and stops replying, you’d assume they’re sleeping.
Ji-won was about to respond with a bland “I guess so” and continue on his way, thinking it wasn’t his place to contact Kwon-ju, but then he closed his eyes. Ah, really…
“Hey… Gi-yeong.”
“Yes?”
“If Kwon-ju contacts you, could you let me know?”
“Me? Why don’t you contact him directly?”
“There are circumstances.”
Though Gi-yeong didn’t understand the situation, he nodded without much suspicion, since it was a request from Ji-won, a senior with a great reputation in the department whom Gi-yeong personally respected. He wondered if they might have fought, but that didn’t explain Ji-won’s worried expression. Everyone in the Business Department knew how close they were.
“Then I’ll be going! Enjoy your meal.”
“You too.”
But there was no further contact from Gi-yeong, and Kwon-ju still didn’t appear the next day. Ji-won mobilized all his connections to ask people who shared classes with Kwon-ju, but every time he asked if a pretty, handsome freshman was sitting in the lecture hall, he only received answers that he wasn’t there. Since it wasn’t a face that could be mistaken or overlooked, it seemed certain he was really absent.
“Haah…”
Ji-won, who entered his home without even knowing what state of mind had brought him there, clutched his throbbing head and sighed deeply as if the ground might collapse. Why isn’t he coming to school? Surely he’s not staying away because of me? Should I contact him first? Or should I visit his home? What began as worry evolved into a full-blown dilemma. Although Ji-won had said they shouldn’t see each other for a while, he hadn’t expected Kwon-ju to skip school and cut off contact with his classmates.
He recalled how Kwon-ju had rushed to his home just because Ji-won wasn’t answering his phone. What if he was like Ji-won, unable to even open his eyes while lying alone at home? What if he’d collapsed? Ji-won knew his address, so should he go check? He was so preoccupied with worry that he couldn’t even change his clothes.
After agonizing over it, Ji-won went to his room and turned on his computer. It seemed unlikely, but he thought Kwon-ju might be playing the game. Ji-won clicked on invisible mode and immediately checked the guild member list. Kwon-ju…
“Oh.”
He’s online.
Ji-won had never imagined he would actually be logged in. Is he just skipping school? Or is he sick but playing for a bit? Either way, it didn’t seem like he was critically ill needing an ambulance. If he was too sick to reply to KakaoTalk, he wouldn’t be gaming. So he must have just ignored Gi-yeong’s messages.
Ji-won quietly turned off the game after staring at the green glowing icon for a moment. Thank goodness.
* * *
Kwon-ju didn’t go to school on the second day either. Instead, he sat at his desk with his computer on. He had just wanted to clear his mind, but being alone brought a flood of thoughts, making it impossible to rest peacefully. So he just ran dungeons with guild members who were online.
The game, which he had started to become closer to Ji-won, had little meaning in a virtual world without him. He had firmly believed this, but staying at home allowed endless depressing thoughts to dominate his mind, making him keep logging in. He did keep checking Ji-won’s login status just in case, but Ji-won didn’t come online all day.
And the next day, he received a phone call. Checking it with a hint of hope, instead of Ji-won’s name, his sister’s name appeared on the screen. It seemed like Ji-won truly didn’t care whether Kwon-ju came to school or not, which suddenly made him feel depressed.
– Highly educated one. Are you sleeping?
Kwon-ju’s brother and sister often teased him by calling him the “highly educated one,” as he had gone from the bottom of his class to a good university after even taking a gap year to study more. Although they themselves had graduated from better universities, Kwon-ju didn’t particularly like being called that, but since he knew it wasn’t meant as mockery, he responded nonchalantly.
“If I were sleeping, I wouldn’t have answered the phone. Think before you speak…”
– Here we go again.
This tired voice and sensitive tone. It was the very image of her brother that she knew all too well. She had been relieved thinking he was living diligently since entering the university he had so desperately wanted to attend, but she never expected to hear such negative news so soon.
– The housekeeper who comes to clean says you haven’t left your room for three days? Not going to school? You haven’t even finished your first semester of freshman year, so I know you haven’t taken a leave of absence.
With only a two-year age gap between them, Kwon-ju’s older brother and sister had always been concerned about their much younger sibling. Born into a wealthy family with a beautiful face, it was puzzling why the child grew up somewhat gloomy. They had thought he would grow out of it, but it continued until puberty, making them worry he might disappear without a trace. It was still memorable how the house had almost turned into a festival atmosphere when this child suddenly declared he wanted to go to university right after entering high school.
– How long are you going to live as you please? If that’s how you want to live, then just do whatever you want, but why are you always gloomy and shut away?
“……”
– Study your heart out. Game your heart out. Do something, anything. Don’t just lie around. Are you really Jang Sim-young’s son?
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
