When Nabin barely touched his food, only picking at it without really eating, worry clouded Kim Su-hyun’s face.
“Does it taste bad? Should I bring you something else?”
Since this wasn’t his own home, Nabin had no choice but to eat from the food Han Jigang had provided. He had chosen the least burdensome dishes, but now he regretted not making porridge instead.
“N-no… it’s good…”
In truth, swallowing even a bite felt torturous, as though every sensation was unbearably heightened. But Nabin quickly shook his head, not wanting to show it. He couldn’t stand the thought of burdening someone who was caring for him so kindly. So he hurriedly stabbed at the food with his fork and shoved it into his mouth, swallowing fast enough not to taste anything.
He barely chewed, gulping down juice whenever the food caught in his throat. Unlike before, his plate began to empty quickly.
Kim Su-hyun almost told him to slow down before he got sick, but swallowed the words. Nabin looked like a terrified child, scolded harshly by his parents. Only then did it hit him—his gentle words might still feel like pressure. Even when spoken softly, Nabin acted as if he had no choice but to obey, as if trapped by compulsion.
“All finished…”
Just as Kim Su-hyun had guessed. Nabin held out the empty plate with a tentative glance. The sight nearly broke his heart, and he had to force himself to smile so his expression wouldn’t crumble.
“Can I… hold your hand for a moment?”
Nabin hesitated, then slowly, almost painfully, extended his small hand. Kim Su-hyun enclosed it with both of his and let his healing ability flow.
As the heaviness in his stomach eased, the tension on Nabin’s face softened. The crushing weight pressing down on his chest finally lifted.
“I was thinking of taking a walk. Is there anywhere you’d like to go?”
At the gentle question, Nabin’s wide eyes trembled like reeds swaying in a storm. From the first day he arrived, Han Jigang’s warning had kept him from even imagining leaving the mansion. He couldn’t ask anyone inside to open the door, and ringing the bell risked serious injury.
But with Kim Su-hyun beside him, maybe—even for a short while—he could breathe the outside air. Though the room held only the two of them, just beyond the threshold was the place where “they” waited. Even for a moment, he longed to breathe freely somewhere they weren’t.
“…I want to ride a swing.”
From the first time he saw the swing under the pine tree, Nabin had found it impossible to look away. But to him, that swing was like an illusion—something he could see but never touch.
If Kim Su-hyun would let him, he wanted to feel its embrace, even just once.
“A swing?”
Startled by the answer, Kim Su-hyun repeated it. Nabin hunched his shoulders and lowered his voice.
“…Yes. I guess that’s not possible…?”
The request suddenly felt reckless, and he wished he could take it back. This man had been warm to him from the beginning, and without realizing it, he had crossed the line.
“No, of course it’s possible. There must be a place with swings nearby. Just give me a second.”
For Nabin to express something he wanted took incredible courage. Seeing him flustered after speaking, Kim Su-hyun hurried to reassure him.
Those large eyes quivered with unease. If he couldn’t grant such a small wish, he would despise himself. And it wasn’t even a difficult request. He pulled out his phone and searched. Luckily, there was a playground about twenty minutes away by car, and the photos showed two swings.
“It’s cold outside, so you’ll need a coat. Is everything in the wardrobe all you have?”
“…Yes.”
Kim Su-hyun shrugged off his own coat. Lined with fur, it was far warmer than the thin one Nabin had.
“I-it’s fine… I already have one…”
“The wind’s strong today, it’s freezing. I’m an A-rank Esper, so I don’t really feel the cold. Don’t worry.”
Before Nabin could protest further, Kim Su-hyun gently draped the coat over his shoulders.
“Shall we?”
“…Yes.”
At last, Nabin stepped out wearing the oversized coat. But the farther they walked down the dim hallway, the slower his steps became, as if something invisible were pulling him back.
He wasn’t ready to face them yet. The memories of Guiding were still so brutal that he sometimes wished he could abandon his mind just to escape. The scars of those experiences clung to him like shackles.
“…If you’re too scared, do you want to hold my hand?”
When Nabin faltered, Kim Su-hyun stopped as well. Seeing his pale face sink deeper into fear, he bit his lip against the swell of emotion and held out his hand.
Nabin looked down at the large hand offered to him. It was longer and stronger than his own, steady like his late father’s. Forcing his trembling fingers to stretch, he placed his hand on the warm palm. Kim Su-hyun smiled encouragingly and laced their fingers together, holding firmly.
The warmth flowing through their joined hands gave Nabin just enough courage to take another step toward the place where they might be.
“Kim Nabin.”
But that fragile courage shattered the instant the voice rang out. Walking awkwardly like a toddler learning to walk while holding Kim Su-hyun’s hand, Nabin froze.
“Ahh…”
“Guide Kim Nabin!”
His body collapsed to the floor in an instant. Before he could hit the ground, Kim Su-hyun caught him, but Nabin was already in a full-blown panic, trembling so violently it shook them both.
“What the hell… what’s wrong with him?”
Han Jigang had resisted the urge to storm into Nabin’s room, pacing restlessly in the living room instead. When he finally saw Nabin emerge with Kim Su-hyun, he thought things were better. But the moment Nabin saw him, his face went deathly pale, and Han Jigang knew something was wrong.
“I told you, didn’t I? Guiding you people was a greater trauma for Guide Kim Nabin than years of working in a brothel.”
It was one thing to hear the words, another to see them come to life. He had never imagined Nabin would fear him this much. Just sharing the same space with Han Jigang seemed enough to choke him.
Han Jigang clenched the hand that had instinctively reached toward Nabin. If a mere glance sent him into panic, what would touch do?
“Guide Kim Nabin, it’s okay.”
Kim Su-hyun stroked his back, whispering reassurance over and over, but Nabin was already drowning in the past.
The moment he saw Han Jigang, he remembered being thrown into a room like garbage. Even if a trace of guilt flickered in those red eyes, they had never seen him as human. Espers were said to treasure Guides, yet Han Jigang had discarded him like a filthy scrap of tissue.
Guiding Han Jigang and Tae Yishin had been hard, but survivable—he had endured worse during his years in the brothels. But Guiding Gong Min had been unbearable. The memory of Han Jigang’s gaze that day left him frozen like a butterfly in a web, his mind instinctively shutting down to block the flood of memories that followed.
“Kh… hah…”
“Guide Kim Nabin! You have to breathe!”
Nabin’s breathing grew frantic. His face flushed red as he gasped in short, broken bursts, as if his breath would stop at any moment. He was hyperventilating. Kim Su-hyun cupped his hands around Nabin’s nose and mouth as he leaned against his chest. Han Jigang, shaken from his own shock, quickly handed him a paper bag.
“Haah… haah…”
With each rise and fall of the bag, Nabin’s breathing gradually steadied. But the moment he saw Han Jigang sitting in front of him, he panicked again, thrashing in Kim Su-hyun’s arms to get away.
“Step aside. If you stay in front of Guide Kim Nabin, you’ll only make it worse.”
“…Fuck.”
Even Han Jigang could see it—Nabin’s condition worsened because of him. He felt like a monster. As Nabin’s breathing threatened to spiral again, Han Jigang finally stepped out of sight.
“Guide Kim Nabin, it’s okay. Nothing here can hurt you now. So just breathe slowly, alright? You can do it.”
“Hhh… y-yeah…”
Still trembling, Nabin tried consciously to calm his breath, clinging to the soft voice wrapping gently around him.
