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He pretended to yield in front of others, but in the end, that kid took everything – the songs, the costumes, all of it.
It might not have been intentional, but he always acted like he had no greed on the surface while easily getting his hands on things Bunhong had wanted without any effort.
As if Bunhong was just an ugly duckling that could never soar like a swan no matter how much he struggled, it was Lee Hanbit who had been deceiving him all along. He took all the fans’ love, the members’ friendship, and even the public’s praise. Bunhong could only watch all of that from behind Hanbit.
And the decisive reason why Bunhong had no choice but to hate Hanbit was already out there.
‘You took it away. You shouldn’t have done that. You had everything, but if you even take Ido hyung’s song from me, what am I supposed to do?’
His world, his creator. Because even Ido’s song, which could be said to be his everything, went to Hanbit instead of him.
As if that wasn’t enough, to think he had even coveted his lover was so absurd. Even if he didn’t know about the relationship between Ido and himself, he wanted to ask how he could hide such impure feelings and disgustingly pretend to be good in front of others.
Looking back now, there were countless things that bothered him, so Bunhong couldn’t forgive him even more. Before his regression, while waiting in front of the glass door for recording in turn, Hanbit suddenly spoke to Bunhong.
‘About Ido hyung. Isn’t he cool?’
The blush on both cheeks caught his eye. However, since Bunhong’s part to record was particularly short that day, he had no justification to stop such Lee Hanbit.
He had to leave Hanbit in Ido’s studio, alone with his lover, and though his steps wouldn’t move, he had no choice. As befitting the main vocalist, his parts were many, so it took a very long time for him to finish work and return to the dorm.
And while waiting for them, Bunhong had to imagine terrible things the entire time. Once suspicion began, it became another shackle that gnawed at him.
There’s one thing people who curse Bunhong greatly misunderstand. What past Kim Bunhong craved wasn’t material greed that could be converted to money like the costumes Hanbit wore, or the songs Jeong Ido wrote, and other precious items. What he exactly wanted to have was something else.
If he had coveted mere things that people could give, he wouldn’t have hated Lee Hanbit that much. He wanted hearts and affection. If he became famous and received love from many people, Bunhong thought that was absolutely necessary to become a decent person.
Though what came back to him who had only wished for that was ultimately just death.
‘Huk……!’
As soon as the car that had been spinning out of control crashed into the road’s guardrail, a terrible shock as if his whole body was shattering struck him, and at the same time, dark red blood poured from Kim Bunhong’s nose.
It was such extreme pain that he realized this moment was the end of life he had never experienced before. Literally, he could vividly feel that all senses inside his body were dying even in his fading consciousness.
Even in that moment, the terrible loneliness that dominated his body and mind! Regret! And at the same time, the endless hunger that came rushing as if it had been waiting, seeming like a brand stamped from birth – how could he forget it? It was a terrible memory he never wanted to experience again if he could help it.
Now Bunhong thought like this.
‘But an opportunity to pay back like this has come around, hasn’t it?’
It wasn’t Lee Hanbit who regressed from future to past. Rather, the one chosen wasn’t that child whom people had praised in unison all this time, but himself, whom they cursed and hated.
If the past Lee Hanbit could hear his words, Bunhong wanted to ask this. If he heard the question ‘Then will you yield again this time? Can you give me your place?’ – he was curious what expression that purely innocent face would make this time. He wanted to know if only then would he finally reveal his hidden true colors.
‘……Can you tell me it’s okay even then?’
His stomach churned from excessive excitement. It was already irreversible. This was the path he chose. From now on, he had no choice but to trust the decision he made.
In Kim Bunhong’s future path, the moments he had so desperately wanted and longed for would unfold before his eyes.
For that, he chose to become Lee Hanbit.
* * *
From the day after the program ended and the debut group was confirmed, Kim Bunhong began immersing himself in practice so he could perfectly imitate Lee Hanbit.
‘More, even a little more……!’
Because thorough practice was needed to imitate him at least in the recording studio if not immediately on stage, he had to somehow buy time until he could stand on a full-scale stage, even if it meant staying up all night. The obsession that he must complete it before debuting and make it so no one could doubt tormented him.
However, the immediate physical pain was something he had no choice but to endure in order to follow the dance and songs Lee Hanbit showed on stage. Since he considered it just an inevitable process that must be gone through to create results, Bunhong didn’t stop whipping himself.
It was when he was passing by the management office as usual to enter the company building. The security guard spoke to Bunhong, who was walking quickly.
“Your face looks a bit gaunt.”
“Ah. Does it?”
After answering briefly, Bunhong immediately entered the practice room. Only after a long time had passed did he finish practicing alone and go to the separately prepared shower room to wash his body. As the security guard said, his particularly thin face was faintly reflected in the mirror, but he ignored it. Perhaps because he had overworked his body for too long, his shoulders were a bit stiff and sharp pain came from his feet up.
After washing, he returned to the practice room and immediately focused on stretching his body step by step while draped in a towel.
Someone called his name and approached.
“Kim Bunhong.”
But was it because of fatigue? At some point, Duho calling his name properly three syllables was amazing, but once it actually happened, Bunhong began to feel annoyed.
Yesterday too, he was the only one who didn’t go home after group practice ended and remained in the practice room with him. That said, he didn’t follow him in practicing without rest either, but just sat in a corner of the practice room and kept nodding off.
Even now, as if he had just woken up from sleep at Bunhong’s presence, he yawned and scratched his head, then approached and asked blankly.
“Breakfast?”
“Not thinking about it.”
Looking for food as soon as he opens his eyes. From what Bunhong knew, recently after becoming part of the debut group, the trainer teacher had picked a day and properly pointed it out, and since that day he heard he was concentratedly controlling his weight, but apparently he couldn’t completely abstain from eating.
Chuckle. Bunhong, who suddenly laughed, recalled before his regression in his mind.
‘Well, Duho hyung was always like that. Always doing whatever he wanted.’
Then, as if reassured, Duho stopped chattering next to Bunhong. Since he had stayed up almost all night and it was still early dawn, just then another trainee also came to work at the practice room, and at the clicking sound of the door opening, Bunhong greeted him. Even without looking, he could tell it was Han Chayeon.
Though it might just be Bunhong’s speculation, since Bunhong started staying up every night practicing in the practice room, somehow Chayeon also seemed to come to the practice room earlier than his usual time.
‘Why?’
Honestly, Bunhong wasn’t completely uninterested in the reason, but he assumed it was because of competitive spirit as fellow trainees. He would have done the same.
Chayeon, who was rummaging through the bag he brought, suddenly frowned and sighed toward Duho.
“But why are you here?”
Duho grumbled in response.
“Why. Am I not allowed to be here? Tch. Anyone would think you guys rented this place out.”
Then Han Chayeon trailed off awkwardly.
“I only brought three pieces of bread.”
“Eh. Three pieces? Then that’s enough. You, me, and Kim Bunhong here. There are exactly three of us, so we can share one each nicely!”
“……”
“What exactly is the problem?”
Duho danced a strange dance, saying he would express his excitement about seeing bread through dance. Sorry to him, but Bunhong felt his eyes were a bit troubled. Bunhong deliberately ignored it and accepted the bread Chayeon offered, unwrapped it, and took a bite. He hadn’t planned to eat breakfast, but once he actually ate, Bunhong realized his physiological needs.
‘Ah. I was hungry.’
Belatedly, his stomach growled. Chayeon looked back and forth at the remaining two pieces of bread, then handed them to Duho while scolding.
“You basically devour two pieces of bread at a time anyway.”
Bunhong looked at him curiously, seeing him use crude language for the first time. Seeing such Bunhong, he laughed briefly, then Chayeon reached out and gently touched his head.
“By the way, Bunhong.”
“……”
“I understand you want to work hard, but staying overnight here is dangerous, so let’s go back to the dorm starting today.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
