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Hangeul thought. Even if that boy he encountered in the past could really sing, what use would it be if he couldn’t sing his own songs in front of himself or other people?
Opportunities are seized only by those who challenge themselves.
The audition was not as interesting as he had thought. He was sick of seeing Jeong Ido’s expressionless face. He looked to the side then turned his head to look straight ahead, and sigh – really. It’s a mistake to think that the dog leg dance is still the comedy code of this era.
All the special talents they brought were imitations, all lower-class things like mimicking someone.
‘There’s nothing real here, as expected everything here is like that.’
All fake…… Thinking that made him feel even more relaxed.
“Oppa, I’m a fan. Please hold my hand!”
During the audition, when a girl fan revealed herself as his fan and rushed at him, Hangeul quietly blinked his eyes and smiled brightly.
“That’s good.”
Gladly. As many times as you want. Without brushing away her hand, he held it back and smiled happily.
‘Ah, how boring.’
These kind of surprise events were actually better to watch than those mediocre applicants.
Yawning widely, Hangeul returned and grew tired of watching the dozens of participants, so he began doodling halfheartedly with a marker on the documents placed in front of him.
However, the power of appearance was amazing, so to others it looked like a face full of anguish as if creating some great work of art…… No one noticed that Hangeul was daring to do something else in the serious and solemn atmosphere of the audition hall.
From school, teachers would scold him daily saying he was the first student as distractible as him during class time, and this was his own survival method he had learned through that. Also known as, the beauty trap.
After spending meaningless time and playing by himself for a while, he suddenly became curious and looked over at Jeong Ido’s seat to see him seriously examining documents again.
‘I really hate that guy. He’s just impossible to get along with.’
He’s probably calculating again who would make money, who would help his group. Obvious, so obvious.
Among all the predictable people, Jeong Ido was the most stubbornly narrow-minded person Hangeul could think of. That kind of thing was exactly what he hated. Not my type. You should live life more lightly.
With a disgusted expression, Hangeul began drawing a cute mustache under the nose of a freckled girl placed in front of him.
Of course, this being AT Entertainment, there weren’t no talented people. But that type was already abundant around him.
The kid who just danced and left seemed somewhat watchable, as Hangeul heard Jeong Ido whispering and consulting about something with the person next to him, so he brought the marker to his evaluation sheet and drew two diagonal lines crossing each other with a swoosh. [X].
Ah. I didn’t see what that kid just did but something about it seems displeasing. I’m against it. Bang bang bang.
He played judge by himself and declared a failure. Unfortunately, Jeong Ido was watching him with an incredulous look, having seen this behavior.
“……You’re really more childish than a high school student.”
Actually, Jeong Ido had almost called Hangeul an elementary student but barely held back. So for Ido, this was a carefully chosen word to maintain some courtesy.
Suddenly the marker Hangeul threw rolled across the desk and landed precisely in front of Ido. Looking at Jeong Ido who had frozen coldly in an instant, Hangeul shrugged his shoulders and said.
“Unfortunately, since I’m from the qualification exam, I never even went near a high school gate. Oh, did I go once for filming?”
Along with his languid tone, for a moment during the conversation Hangeul’s pupils turned upward as if searching his memory.
“How unfortunate,”
That’s too bad…….
With Ido’s slowly recited response as the last word, their eyes clashed fiercely in the air. It was Oh Hangeul who first broke the silence between them. Pretending to know nothing, when he recited “It looked like kicking rather than dancing, like an orangutan. Crash bang,” Ido replied incredulously “They didn’t even use their feet.” It was a look that said he was only tolerating this because of seniority.
‘You don’t have to tolerate it……’
If you’re picking a fight, I won’t particularly stop you. Hangeul shyly lowered his eyes. He wanted to say that it wasn’t that, but that he had saved a pitiful soul who almost had their life mortgaged to a bastard like you, but he didn’t end up saying it.
‘You held back well, Oh Hangeul.’
He secretly patted himself under the table where others couldn’t see. Now having lost interest even in the stone-like Jeong Ido, Hangeul ignored the situation, namely the audition, and fell into his own world.
Flipping through the photos of applicants filed in the folder,
Ah, this one seems to have flatter hair than the previous kid, should I draw a ribbon on top? After deciding, he brought a red pen and was putting on rouge when suddenly the door burst open as if someone had entered. The participant said nothing.
At the sudden silence, Hangeul stretched. Yawn. Since he still didn’t want to know what situation this was, he just scratched his brow and played with his feet while looking down. Honestly, unless a fire suddenly broke out here, he had no interest in this audition at all.
But the silence continued.
‘……?’
Usually they’d be desperately trying to do something, so why is it quiet? Hangeul thought.
‘How fresh. Is this some novel method to attract attention?’
From what he briefly heard, the name seemed to be Kim Geunhong? Something like that…… Well, anyway, it was an unusual name.
Originally the documents were arranged in order ‘ㄱ-ã„´-ã„·-ㄹ’ but no matter how much he tried to find the name, he couldn’t because Hangeul had already messed them up quite a bit.
To other people, the desk looked like a mess as if a time bomb was about to explode in 1 second.
Actually, earlier Jeong Ido had secretly glanced at Hangeul’s seat while he was absorbed in his distractions.
Pouting his lips while fiddling with the messy pile of documents, he tilted his head slightly at the voice he heard.
He thought it was a girl because the name was Kim Geunhong. But listening to the voice, it wasn’t a girl but a boy. Somehow familiar.
‘Right…… Familiar?’
The footsteps walking from the door to here were light and gentle like someone doing ballet.
Staring blankly at the shadow below, Hangeul unconsciously opened his mouth slightly.
‘What is this.’
At some point, with all the distracting thoughts in his head having disappeared, Hangeul stared blankly only downward.
Almost falling and grabbing the hand he extended to stand up, he thought of that past scene.
‘Why here. Didn’t you say you couldn’t perform on stage?’
When he quickly lifted his head, the shadow cleared away and he gradually began to reveal himself.
“……”
As expected, as if he had stage fright or something, he didn’t sing for quite a while. Seeing him trembling, Hangeul rather wanted to cover his eyes.
He’s fake, I was disappointed. Strangely, his heart went out to him and he felt sorry and couldn’t get him out of his mind.
‘……?’
What. Jeong Ido, this bastard. Oh Hangeul, who unconsciously turned his head at the clattering movement next to him, definitely saw it. Though it seemed missed, something that briefly settled in Jeong Ido’s eyes then disappeared.
At the same time, as if the trembling had stopped, Bunhong clenched his fists, straightened his back and stood upright in place. So even though it was just the floor, he felt like someone standing on a stage.
Tap, tap.
Only the sound of Kim Bunhong stomping his feet as if trying to match the beat as much as possible echoed through the quiet audition hall.
And,
And.
And……!
‘My goodness.’
Every moment he uttered each lyric, he felt a pain that gouged at the pit of his stomach. It was only after the middle of the song that he realized he was singing a cappella.
“I want to breathe. I want to feel that I’m alive. But there’s no one to listen to my voice,”
It seemed like a love song at first glance, but it wasn’t.
“I was helplessly defeated.”
What was the title…… What did they say. With a dazed expression, Oh Hangeul clenched his fist. Without realizing it, his nails dug into his palm but he felt no pain at all. Because Bunhong looked more painful than his own pain.
It was extreme loneliness. He wasn’t even someone whose existence had been erased, so why to that extent…….
“Stop…… I’ve lost to love.”
Oh Hangeul knew. And felt.
Kim Bunhong was standing on ice. The loneliness he had once felt was entirely that guy’s. The moment he fell in love, the flower didn’t bloom but withered right away. It wasn’t hope but despair itself.
Strangely, at that moment Oh Hangeul felt the boy was alive. He sang like someone who had died and come back, but among everyone here, only that guy seemed to be alive.
“……”
Because he knew painfully that the real one had no choice but to feel loneliness among all the fakes. As those who have lost sincerity commonly know.
* * *
He thought he couldn’t escape. Long shadows lay thick at his heels, always standing on darkness.
Kim Bunhong always harbored questions. What was the source of loneliness? The endlessly rising longing, the existence called solitude that deeply permeated and embraced him as if it had originally been one body with him every time he inhaled, the endless self-doubt, and the identity that could never be defined always made him a passive being, and
“A long, long sweet dream
Beautiful flower buds that bloomed like fever at every footprint where you stayed and passed
I want to kneel there and kiss them preciously……”
The ended relationship made him keep expecting and waiting for someone who wouldn’t come.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
