Chapter 86
Although Juha’s ranking in the last competition was one step higher, Youngin still had more fans in terms of numbers. Juha was likable so other fans and muggles voted well for him, but Youngin just couldn’t get votes because he had many enemies.
“I can’t… do well.”
Youngin hung his head low again.
“Hyung, you did well with us last time.”
Seeing him dejected like that, Juha found himself comforting him without realizing it.
Juha recalled Youngin on stage during the second competition. Even though it was before he saw those dazzling malicious comments during the retreat, Youngin had performed quite stably on stage. With his outstanding appearance and good skill balance with other team members, he had contributed significantly to their team’s first place ranking.
“Back then you and the other kids were there. Now there’s only Junho… and Junho is cold, so he won’t accept me.”
Right. With that iron wall personality, Na Junho was someone who wouldn’t catch you even if the person in front fell backward, let alone accept you.
“Hyung should approach first. How long are you going to wait for others to like you first?”
“Will the kids like me?”
Youngin’s frightened voice rang out weakly. Even seeing it with his own eyes, Juha couldn’t believe this situation. Where did that momentum go when he seemed ready to devour each team member one by one when he was on the same team as Juha? Now he was deflated, worried that even the younger teammates might dislike him.
“You won’t know if they’ll like you or not until you get close. Ah… someone said not to talk with face masks on, but we chatted for a while. It’s been over twenty minutes, so sleep quickly.”
Juha peeled off his face mask and lay down on his bed first. Youngin reluctantly peeled off his mask, organized his skin texture, then turned off the lights and lay down.
As sudden silence fell in the darkness, Juha became rapidly unsettled. The conversation he just had with Yoo Youngin was quite deep for two people facing each other while wearing headbands and face masks.
Phrases like “haters are a measure of popularity” and “bashers create fans” were things that always came up when doing idol mental care. He had vaguely thought that when popularity increased, malicious posts would naturally increase too. But seeing the person involved right in front of him, he couldn’t dismiss it as nothing serious. Even Juha couldn’t guarantee whether he could remain detached if he received the level of malicious terrorism that Youngin had endured.
Whatever the method, Youngin had maintained his high ranking well until halfway through the program. However, looking at Youngin’s current state, he had doubts about whether he could stubbornly endure and complete this hellish race with that mentality.
No matter how much of a competitor he was, he couldn’t just stand by and watch a person break apart and scatter before his eyes. It wasn’t because Juha was particularly moral or had outstanding character. It was because of the anxiety that Youngin’s current appearance could become his own tomorrow. The words of comfort for Youngin were also words to steady himself.
When you become a top-level idol, you gain wealth and fame, of course, and become an idol worshipped by countless people. However, the public’s standards are very strict until you reach that point.
Appearance, dancing, and singing skills are naturally required, and moral flaws, private life, and past must all be spotlessly clean. Most of the participants here want to become idols even considering that point, and Juha hadn’t even spat on the street once during his 6 years of trainee life to prevent such problems.
However, incidents can happen anytime, anywhere, and since this industry even creates and buries non-existent incidents, even Juha couldn’t feel secure.
Each lost in thought in their beds, awkward silence continued in the darkness.
“…Hey, Lee Juha.”
Cutting through the darkness, Youngin called him.
“What?”
When Juha answered, Youngin quickly turned toward him.
“Were you wearing a watch earlier by any chance?”
“What? What… ah…”
Juha realized the intent behind that question and let out an incredulous sigh.
That fool was getting scared in advance, worried that Juha might have recorded his whining with his watch again.
“Yes, of course I was. Let me listen to the recording before I sleep…”
It was a joke thrown out because the room atmosphere seemed too depressed, but before Juha could finish speaking, Youngin bolted up, turned on the lights, and rushed to Juha’s bed.
“Geez, what’s wrong?”
Juha was startled and hid under his blanket.
Youngin forcibly pulled out Juha’s arms from under the blanket. Even though it was obvious there was no watch, Youngin kept turning Juha’s wrists around.
“…There isn’t one?”
“Of course it was a joke. Why would I record that?”
At Juha’s words, Youngin seemed relieved and let go of his wrist.
“Then forget it. What I said earlier. I’m fucking embarrassed.”
He could have gotten angry at Juha’s joke, but Youngin looked genuinely relieved. It wasn’t even worth teasing him – it was no fun at all.
“I don’t know. They say people can’t be reformed, so who knows what I’ll do if hyung makes me upset again.”
“This crazy bastard again…”
“Ah, let’s sleep. Turn off the lights.”
Juha pulled his blanket over himself and turned around.
Youngin cursed Juha with a stream of profanity, then turned off the lights and lay down on his bed.
Silence fell in the room again. From the next bed, Youngin was doing his best not to rustle around.
‘Can’t that hyung sleep either?’
Juha adjusted his blanket and fell into various thoughts again. Even someone who thinks they’re the only one in heaven and earth would waver when attacked by the public, and someone with a dark past like Youngin could crumble even more easily.
Even with such outstanding looks, it was just pitiful that he still had a victim mentality.
After tossing and turning for a while, Youngin finally couldn’t stand it and called him.
“Lee Juha.”
“What?”
After calling him, Youngin hesitated for a long time. After Juha had been staring at the black ceiling with his eyes open for a while, he carefully spoke up.
“Back then, at the beginning, I’m sorry for calling you an annoying bastard. I really wanted to get close to Taeri then, but Taeri was always only looking at you, so I found you annoying.”
“It’s fine as long as you know.”
Juha finished the conversation with a chuckle. They weren’t close enough to share warm comfort, so there was nothing more to say. Thanks to his excuse, he remembered the time when he and Taeri didn’t know each other’s feelings, which made his heart flutter for no reason.
‘Even then, Taeri was only looking at me.’
Even though it was nothing special, he felt good that he seemed to have received quite a sincere apology from Youngin. While Juha was excited and lost in thoughts of Taeri, Youngin, who had been fidgeting in the next bed, opened his mouth again.
“Lee Juha.”
“Ah, what now? Say it all at once!”
When Juha answered bluntly, Youngin timidly hugged his blanket and turned to face Juha’s direction.
“You know, during the death match, I’m sorry for saying ‘you should have been eliminated’ to you.”
‘Geez, really.’
Juha inwardly let out a hollow laugh. Yoo Youngin who had no fighting power, and Jo Munseok who was so simple that he would pledge loyalty like a dog if treated well. It was doubtful whether these two were the same people who had conspired together in the emergency exit during the second mission.
“And, also, for laughing at you during the second competition, and, um, for telling you to do the decadent young master thing and being mean in the bathroom…”
Since Juha had told him to say it all at once, Youngin was taking it literally.
What was there so much to apologize for – confessions poured out of Youngin’s mouth in a stream. It was so cringeworthy that he couldn’t listen anymore.
“Ah, stop whining.”
Juha said while holding back laughter.
“But hyung is apologizing…”
Even though it was dark, he could imagine how much Youngin’s face was contorted without seeing it.
“Instead of apologizing to me, try reducing that swearing. With a face like that, when I see you swearing all the time, you look like some granny who’s been selling soup for 50 years in one spot.”
“…Do my looks and swearing really not match? I practiced a lot…”
Youngin’s voice got smaller again. The problem wasn’t just the swearing, but the swearing that Youngin spat out to look tough had no impact – it was worse than a small Maltese barking.
“…Good night.”
Juha turned away, ignoring Youngin who was whining again. He felt sorry for Youngin who had practiced swearing and acting tough here because of memories of being bullied throughout his school days.
‘Still, I feel more at ease.’
In this war, one enemy was reduced and one ally was gained. That alone made it worthwhile to accept the swearing Youngin.
* * *
Practice went smoothly afterward, fortunately. Jo Munseok’s power was truly amazing. Just by looking at him with scary eyes, Nam Suchang’s nonsense would stop, allowing all team members to focus on practice. Even while the practice schedule was running busily, Juha was still worried about Taeri.
Taeri seemed to be getting along brightly as usual, but his inner thoughts were unknowable. Even when they were alone, he considered asking if he was really okay, but with cameras everywhere and since they started practice as soon as they opened their eyes and were always exhausted when returning to their rooms, he couldn’t bring up such a heavy topic. Rather, he was afraid of accidentally bringing it up and reminding Taeri of wounds he didn’t want to dig up.
“Suhyeok, hyung is on the left. If our movements get tangled, hyung will bump into Taeri.”
During practice, Go Suhyeok and Nam Suchang bumped into each other and the music stopped. Even though it would be annoying to make the same mistake repeatedly in the same place, Nam Suchang consoled and taught young Go Suhyeok well.
“Sorry, hyung. I keep getting confused here.”
Go Suhyeok apologized awkwardly and went into individual practice.
‘This is worrying.’
Juha thought while glancing at Go Suhyeok’s practice. Go Suhyeok, ranked 16th in AI evaluation, was a participant whose strength was vocals rather than dance. While he had improved his dancing through relentless practice until he memorized it, his current problem was learning the complex stage formations. Since this stage was all about perfect formations, if even one person made a mistake, everything would be completely off. Knowing this well, Go Suhyeok began to get more anxious. Now that he looked at it, Go Suhyeok seemed to have quite weak mentality too.
Just as Go Suhyeok was about to continue practice with a tearful expression, Nam Suchang approached.
“Suhyeok is nervous because he doesn’t have much stage experience yet. Hyung has been on many stages so I know, but especially when standing on bright stages, you need to set exactly one target to focus on so your gaze doesn’t waver. People experienced with stages like hyung have leeway, but in Suhyeok’s case, if you make eye contact with the audience, you might suddenly forget the choreography. So listen to hyung and just, every time you practice, focus your eyes on one point somewhere!”
“Huh? Wow, that really seems helpful, hyung?”
When Choi Musin, who was listening nearby, agreed, Nam Suchang’s shoulders straightened. Juha also subtly listened to Nam Suchang’s words. While he wasn’t a particularly likable character, as someone with debut experience, he had decent skills and most importantly, his stage advice was quite valuable. He would go around poking at team members here and there, but when he seemed to cross the line, Jo Munseok would appear from somewhere, so if you just humored him appropriately, Nam Suchang was fairly useful.
“Hey, hyung is experienced, so of course he knows well.”
Nam Suchang spoke proudly, always attaching ‘hyung’ to his words like a ‘hyung-parrot.’
“But, hyung.”
17-year-old Baek Cheonsan, who had been quiet, raised his hand high.
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been really curious about this from the beginning. Hyung knows we’re all older than you, so why do you always say ‘hyung’?”
As Baek Cheonsan asked with innocent eyes as if genuinely curious, Nam Suchang was momentarily speechless.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
HAHAHA Cheonsan🤣🤣