Chapter 22
After the PR filming ended, they said he had to do an interview. Since he had only heard where to go, Jaekyung headed toward the interview booth on his own. Just as Jaekyung was walking down the corridor, he spotted someone and gradually slowed down.
He thought he’d be a bit separated today, but why were familiar faces gathered over there? Yoon Hajun, who had already spotted Jaekyung, waved his arm cheerfully.
“What’s the point of calling me like this.”
Jaekyung muttered quietly to himself and reluctantly approached with heavy steps.
“Jungwoo is doing it right now.”
Even without Yoon Hajun’s kind explanation, Lee Jungwoo was visible. Even though they called it an interview booth, it was set up temporarily at the end of the corridor, so nothing was hidden. Only two sides facing the camera were covered, so Lee Jungwoo was completely visible. Seeing this, Yoon Hajun whispered.
“If they’re going to interview so openly like this, why not just gather everyone and ask?”
Jaekyung felt the same way and nodded to himself inwardly. Having to listen to Lee Jungwoo’s entire interview whether he liked it or not. Regardless of what Jaekyung was thinking, the production team held up cue cards and asked continuous questions.
“Who is a trainee you’ve newly become friends with since coming here?”
Jaekyung covered his forehead and lowered his head. It was like asking an elementary school student ‘who did you make friends with this time?’ Just thinking that a similar question would come to him made him want to run away already. He didn’t want to do this.
It was when Jaekyung raised his head after suppressing his annoyed emotions.
‘Huh?’
His eyes met Lee Jungwoo’s, who was looking at him.
“Trainee Seo Jaekyung.”
“What…”
Jaekyung made a sound in surprise, then cleared his throat pretending to cough.
‘What the hell.’
How shameless. With how many trainees here, to say his name when the person in question was listening right in front. If it were him, he wouldn’t be able to say it, but Lee Jungwoo’s complexion didn’t change at all.
“What kind of person is trainee Seo Jaekyung that trainee Lee Jungwoo sees?”
Jaekyung flinched. How others see me – it was getting more and more ridiculous. As Yoon Hajun’s interested gaze grew stronger, Jaekyung turned his head as if uninterested.
‘Jungwoo doesn’t like me though.’
He had told him not to be caught on the same camera and looked at him as if he were pathetic when he made mistakes. Even when he couldn’t endure and fell among the rushing fans at the airport, Lee Jungwoo had glanced at him and gone his way. Even though they belonged to the same group, they didn’t mix like oil and water. They were particularly unfriendly, and beyond that, Lee Jungwoo was the member who hated him the most.
“He was always calm. It felt like we were filming a documentary instead of an audition.”
Yoon Hajun quickly covered his mouth, but he had already heard the laughter.
‘A documentary… when did I ever film a documentary?’
Jaekyung had thought about and moved regarding the audition more passionately than anyone. If it were a documentary, he wouldn’t have tried so passionately to avoid and hide. If they knew how much thought went into his movements because he had to endure a month without being caught on camera as much as possible, they definitely couldn’t say such things.
“Ah, I know what you mean. Trainee Seo Jaekyung is quite composed. That’s why the PD jokingly said he might make a horror special mission, you know?”
Jaekyung found it absurd and ridiculous that the conversation about him wouldn’t end, and wanted to step forward and cut off the interview. Talk about Lee Jungwoo, not me. Lee Jungwoo, who read Jaekyung’s dissatisfied gaze, smiled. At that expression, there was small murmuring among the staff.
The expression with just the corners of his mouth slightly raised looked like a shy boy. That was cheating. Smiling so shyly like that was really cheating…
“So being next to him makes me feel relaxed.”
Jaekyung pouted his lips. He had told Lee Jungwoo not to speak informally to him and hadn’t acted friendly. Every time he faced Lee Jungwoo, it was an uncomfortably suffocating relationship.
“He’s comfortable.”
“…Huh?”
Jaekyung let out a dumbfounded sound. Even though Yoon Hajun was looking at him with a chuckle, he couldn’t help it. Lee Jungwoo’s words were that unexpected.
‘I’m comfortable?’
The thought that they weren’t they the most uncomfortable with each other came to mind, then Jaekyung, who looked at Lee Jungwoo’s face, wore a blank expression at the thought that came to him belatedly. Meanwhile, Lee Jungwoo looked at the camera and poured out what he wanted to say.
“At first, he was a trainee I didn’t even know, but his singing was so good. I was curious, wondering who was singing? And it was trainee Seo Jaekyung. His voice was so good that I thought we might meet again, and I was happy to meet him again. Since filming this program, I’ve been secretly following trainee Seo Jaekyung around, thinking we might be able to become good friends.”
“Does that mean you don’t know what it would have been like if you met in a different place?”
“Couldn’t that be possible?”
“And?”
“Being with trainee Seo Jaekyung makes me feel secure. He answers everything when I ask anything, and I get a lot of help with dance practice too. Whatever we do, after seeing trainee Seo Jaekyung do it first, I understand how to do it.”
“Don’t tell me that’s why you said he’s comfortable?”
To the staff’s mischievous question, Lee Jungwoo only smiled instead of answering.
“That’s true. Sometimes he doesn’t seem like a trainee.”
The staff picked it up.
“It would be nice if he were a bit awkward, but he does everything well.”
‘When did I ever do everything well?’
Jaekyung made a tearful face feeling wronged. This interview really sucks.
“Yes. So I want to become friends with trainee Seo Jaekyung.”
Lee Jungwoo drew a single line of smile on his serious face. Anyone could tell that wasn’t a smile drawn for the interview.
“Still, I was lucky to meet like this. I want to go on together for a long, long time.”
“…”
Several staff members filming the interview glanced at Jaekyung. They looked back curious about what reaction he would show when someone was saying they wanted to be close friends. But no reaction came from Jaekyung, as if he hadn’t heard Lee Jungwoo’s words. Meanwhile, Jaekyung was standing blankly, engulfed in shock. Everyone was looking at him strangely, but Jaekyung was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice.
Through Lee Jungwoo’s words, Jaekyung was now recalling what he had been doing all this time.
‘What have I been doing? How have I been treating Lee Jungwoo?’
False accusations, misunderstandings.
Jaekyung, who had felt wronged saying he was falsely accused for something he didn’t do, was doing no different from Jeon Sanguk and that trainee.
’19-year-old Lee Jungwoo.’
Since he had returned from 25 to 19, the Lee Jungwoo that Jaekyung saw was also just a young 19-year-old man. He definitely knew that. He knew, but couldn’t accept it as it was. Because that kid was someone who disliked and despised him.
Moreover, since this kid even got first place in this audition, naturally he had strong feelings of not wanting to be beside him. So he avoided, rejected, and pushed him away. He had been taking out his anger on the 19-year-old Lee Jungwoo who didn’t know about future events and hadn’t experienced them.
Jaekyung’s gaze slowly turned toward Lee Jungwoo. Unlike glimpsing him while avoiding him until now, he looked at him straight. Only then did Lee Jungwoo’s face come into clear view. A bare face without makeup and hair roughly brushed back. Though he seemed fully grown, discovering the boy’s face that remained here and there, Jaekyung swallowed a lament.
‘Why did I act so pathetically?’
His face turned red with shame. As Lee Jungwoo said, since they met here, they could have a different relationship, but he was rejecting him first. While he vaguely accepted Lee Sowoon calling him hyung, he curtly cut off Lee Jungwoo speaking informally.
Like himself, Jungwoo was also just a minor not even 20 years old. Hadn’t his one-sided avoidance and pushing away hurt him? With the heart that hated and resented Jungwoo, he was doing the same thing to him.
Taking care of only his own wounds while inflicting wounds on others. Just because he was hurt by the future him, he treated the past him the same way.
That… was shameful and he felt sorry to Lee Jungwoo.
* * *
He didn’t know how he did the interview. Returning to his room, Jaekyung sat down right by the door. Without even the leisure to insert his card, Jaekyung hugged his legs in the dark space.
His heart raced from the shock-like realization he felt while watching Lee Jungwoo’s interview. Knowing how he had treated Lee Jungwoo all this time, an indescribable self-loathing arose.
What he had experienced didn’t disappear. Of course, the cold reactions of the members he had been active with as the same team also remained intact. However, that was a future only Jaekyung knew about.
Something no one else but him knew, something that would remain unknown for life. Anyway, Jaekyung wouldn’t walk the same path.
Things had already gone differently from their first meeting. Yoon Hajun, who always treated him as an ambiguous existence, readily talked to him, and Min Taeyeon liked him saying he sang well. Not to mention Lee Jungwoo.
Now, if he put his mind to it, he could have a different relationship with them. During the time spent in this audition, if he showed just a little friendly side, the future would completely fly away. No, even without being extremely friendly, it seemed like they could have a sufficiently different relationship.
His confused heart became a little lighter as he organized his thoughts about them.
Let’s not get angry at innocent people.
As Jaekyung got up and inserted his card, the lights came on and he looked around the interior, then suddenly smiled bitterly.
Then who will comfort me?
I’m the only one who knows what I went through…
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
