My chest feels like it’s being crushed. Forcing my unwilling eyes open, I see an utterly shameless cat using my body as a cushion.
“Mi-ong.”
“…Sesame.”
My voice, still drenched in sleep, came out rough and cracked.
“Nyaong!”
How long did I sleep? The rain had been falling since dawn, blurring the sense of time. It wasn’t until I checked my phone that I realized I had been out for six straight hours. Stretching his arms wide, Sa-yoon let out a deep yawn.
“Our little Sesame. Hungry?”
“Myaong!”
Lifting the small creature into his arms, he gave it a quick peck, only for Sesame to wriggle free in clear disapproval, slipping right out of his hands.
Sa-yoon sluggishly pulled on his anorak, poured some food into the empty bowl, and stepped out into the garden. As he inhaled the cool air and lit a cigarette, droplets of water clung to the persimmon tree’s leaves, each one breaking off and falling. He had planted that tree when he was born.
For a fleeting moment, a tear-streaked face flashed through his mind. Of all things, why that now?
“Ah, fuck.”
He rubbed his forehead with the hand still holding his cigarette. Long story short, they hadn’t broken up.
Shin-jae simply couldn’t accept the reason for it. Tears spilling down like beads, he had pleaded, over and over like a parrot, that they should talk it out, that they could adjust to each other, that they could make it work. It was the kind of naïve belief only someone who had never been in a real relationship could have.
The real mistake was holding him when he refused to let go. He had sobbed so hard that his flushed face had burned against Sa-yoon’s skin. Watching his younger lover cry himself into a fever, Sa-yoon had ultimately relented. They hadn’t broken up—at least, not yet. Instead, they had reached a dramatic compromise: a temporary pause to think things through.
Even after settling in bed, Shin-jae had clung to his sleeve, gripping it tightly as though letting go meant losing everything. Only after holding on like that did he finally drift off. That was why Sa-yoon had left his clothes behind.
‘Maybe I should’ve just stayed until he woke up!’
But if he had, the same exhausting argument would’ve repeated all over again. Shin-jae would have tried to keep him there, while he would insist on leaving.
If it had been just a simple lie, Sa-yoon might have let it slide—at least once. It was still early in their relationship, the kind of stage where they were too blinded by infatuation to do anything but cling to each other. No one was perfect.
But Shin-jae was a Killer. And that was something Sa-yoon couldn’t ignore.
He had already seen firsthand how a Killer would stop at nothing to achieve their goals. The fact that Shin-jae had known his identity all along and still toyed with him for months in the game? That was just the cherry on top.
So in the end… it was no good. Because of this, Sa-yoon could no longer fully trust Shin-jae.
Anytime something even slightly suspicious happened, he would be reminded of this moment, wondering—was it another lie? That doubt, that hesitation… he hated it.
Which was why he felt both resentful and sorry for Shin-jae, the one who had shaken the very foundation of trust between them.
“Why the hell did you have to lie?”
His muttered lament scattered into the empty yard.
Just as he was about to head inside, Sa-yoon pulled out another cigarette. He was awake, but his mind felt even more tangled.
Wisps of smoke curled and drifted up into the evening sky. And between them, that familiar, beautiful face, streaked with tears—
…Fuck. What is this, some tragic little match girl scene?
Cursing at the air, Sa-yoon wiped his face with a hand.
By the time he finished another cigarette and stepped back inside, Sesame had already finished eating and was now rubbing against his shin. The moment Sa-yoon sat down, the little cat leapt up, settling comfortably on his lap.
“Mm, good little Sesame.”
As he stroked the clingy cat, he powered on his monitor. On the screen, his in-game character was diligently clocking time. Sa-yoon narrowed his eyes as he checked the guild window.
[Temporary Guild Member | Killer Lv.100 | Offline 6 hours]
***
[Guild Master ‘Chasa’ has logged in.]
[Guild] Chasa: hey yo
[Guild] Shokrates: Why does it feel like it’s been ages since I saw you, Guild Master?
[Guild] Furple: That’s because it has been a while.
[Guild] Chasa: ah haha
[Guild] Chasa: been busy with real life
[Guild] Swakkoong: What time is it in Korea right now?
[Guild] Shokrates: 11:25 PM, soon to be past the bedtime of weak corporate slaves.
[Guild] Swakkoong: Log in at this hour, do the daily quests, then poof—vanish…
[Guild] Swakkoong: Something smells fishy.
[Guild] Freedeal: Swakkoong, hit us with the detective briefing.
[Guild] Swakkoong: Ah, nothing major~
[Guild] Swakkoong: Just feels like… someone’s in the honeymoon phase.
[Guild] GegulGegulFrog: WHOA, Chasa’s dating??? Who is it?!
[Guild] Freedeal: Like you’d know even if he told you.
[Guild] Chasa: haha, I’m not dating anyone.
[Guild] Shokrates: Honestly, I thought you and Inseong were a thing.
[Guild] Freedeal: Jeon-gi, just how far does your imagination go?
[Guild] Shokrates: No, but seriously, hear me out. Both of them started logging in way less at the same time.
[Guild] Shokrates: Oh shit, but Guild Master hasn’t logged in for five days now.
[Guild] Shokrates: Wait… could it be… they got together and broke up in one go?
Does this guild secretly run civilian surveillance or something? They didn’t know a damn thing, yet their accuracy was eerily on point.
[Guild] Chasa: lol nah, nothing like that
[Guild] Chasa: It’s just my birthday week
[Guild] Furple: Birthday week? Don’t tell me you’re having a party every single day.
[Guild] Shokrates: Damn, must have a packed schedule.
[Guild] GegulGegulFrog: So the guy who’s a total ghost online is actually an SSS-rank super extrovert IRL?
[Guild] Freedeal: That’s kinda gross.
[Guild] GegulGegulFrog: Whine ㅜㅜ
[Guild] Swakkoong: But seriously, why hasn’t Inseong shown up?
[Guild] GegulGegulFrog: Right? He’s never been offline this long before.
[Guild] Freedeal: Chasa, you don’t know anything about this?
[Guild] Chasa: Huh? Me?
[Guild] Freedeal: Well, I mean—
[Guild] Freedeal: Inseong followed you around a lot.
If he had heard that before knowing the truth, he would have scoffed and asked if stalking counted as “following” too. But looking back now, it really had been a clumsy kind of courtship, the kind you’d expect from a twenty-year-old who had never dated before.
Now that he knew the truth, it just left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Sa-yoon pulled up the guild window. The list of active members appeared first, and after toggling the offline view, the list of absent members loaded.
[Temporary Guild Member | Killer Lv.100 | Offline 5 days]
“…It’s true.”
The others were right. His eyes instinctively drifted to his phone.
He had expected a message the moment Shin-jae woke up—but days passed, and there had been nothing. Then, today, when he checked, there was a missed call at 2 AM. He had called back, but this time, Shin-jae didn’t pick up.
Could something have happened? Was he sick? Gotten into an accident…?
‘If I just let this slide, just this once… No. No way.’
Broken trust was like a cracked porcelain vase. At first, the person who shattered it might feel guilty, but if the suspicion dragged on, their attitude would flip.
Suddenly, you became the problem—the overly sensitive one, the one who couldn’t let things go.
“How long are you gonna keep bringing that up?”
There had been a time when he had spent an overwhelming amount of emotional energy, dragging out a relationship until both sides were exhausted enough to finally say goodbye. That memory flashed through his mind, and Sa-yoon shook his head with a sigh, setting his phone down.
Some people kept in touch with their exes from time to time, but for some reason, he had a feeling that wouldn’t be possible with Shin-jae.
[Guild] Shokrates: What if he doesn’t show up until the new dungeon update?
[Guild] GegulGegulFrog: No way, come on~
Judging by the login records, it seemed like he was the one who had to explain things to the guild. That Killer probably wasn’t coming back.
But how the hell was he supposed to phrase that? This was exactly why relationships within the same circle were a bad idea. Sure, this wasn’t a university campus, but when you spent enough time with the same people, working toward shared goals, the atmosphere was similar.
Sa-yoon didn’t want to drag his real-life problems into his online space, so he rubbed his temples in frustration. Just then—
[Guild] Swakkoong: But even private messages are unread, and he’s been offline there too. Are we sure this is okay?
[Guild] Freedeal: Wait, he’s not even reading PMs?
[Guild] Swakkoong: Yeah. I sent something guaranteed to get a reply, but nothing.
[Guild] Shokrates: …What did you send?
[Guild] Swakkoong: First, I changed my username to ‘Chasa1’
[Guild] Swakkoong: Then I sent— Killer, I’ll share my custom avatar settings with you.
[Guild] Swakkoong: (attachment: image.jpg)
[Guild] Swakkoong: That’s what I sent, lol.
[Guild] Freedeal: Ah fuuuuck lmaoooooo
[Guild] Shokrates: Wow, so he’s completely ghosting. What if something actually happened to him…?
The guild members, unaware of the full story, were starting to get anxious.
Sa-yoon, the actual target of the impersonation, scowled. Even that message had gone unread? What if Shin-jae really was hurt—so badly that he couldn’t even check his phone?
[You’re fine, right?]
In the end, he couldn’t hold back. He sent a message.
But the “1” beside it never disappeared.
And the next day, Shin-jae didn’t show up to the general education class they took together.
Sa-yoon stepped out in the middle of the lecture to call him.
The line rang. And rang.
Until, finally—
The person you are trying to reach is unavailable…
It was the automated message.
A complete disappearance.
