Cedric did not come in even when it was dinner time. I was lying on the bed, hoping he wouldn’t come at all.
“Lady Revril!”
Wondering what was wrong, I told the maid to come in, and she quickly entered the room.
“I have prepared dinner for you. Tonight’s dinner is…”
“You don’t have to bother.”
“Are you feeling unwell? If so, I can call the doctor right away.”
“No, that’s not necessary. I’ll be fine if I just rest.”
“But the master told me to make sure you eat, Lady Revril…”
“Then can you just tell Cedric that I ate?”
The maid’s eyes grew wide. She hesitated for a moment and looked at me awkwardly.
“If you feel uncomfortable telling Cedric, you can leave. I’m not thinking much about dinner.”
The maid simply bowed her head and left the room. I lay down and pulled the blanket over me. Lately, my whole body felt tired because of Cedric. Strangely, I wasn’t very hungry either.
How many hours had passed like that? Suddenly, the door burst open and a bright light briefly flashed and then went out. I heard footsteps stopping next to the bed. At that moment, Cedric’s scent hit my nose sharply. I heard the light being turned on, and a bright glow spread over the nightstand.
Squinting, I opened my eyes and saw Cedric sitting on the bed.
“You said you didn’t eat dinner properly.”
I hesitated and moved aside. Cedric looked at me silently and then chuckled.
“Are you trying not to talk to me anymore?”
When I looked at him tensely, he said with a smile on his face,
“Then let’s talk with our bodies. Your body still responds to me well.”
Cedric immediately lowered his head. I turned away, but he held my chin and turned my face to him. His lips were just about to touch mine.
“Stop it.”
I barely said it with a trembling voice. My body was already weak, and with him like this, tears welled up in my eyes. Cedric looked at me without taking his eyes off. His breath was so close it made me tense, but I managed to say,
“You can’t have your child anyway.”
His eyebrows twisted slightly. I was nervous, thinking I had said something wrong.
“Do you think I’m such trash?”
His bright blue eyes flashed intensely. I stayed silent, unable to speak, and he smirked.
“Should I kneel down?”
“…”
“Would you pity me enough to forgive me then?”
Cedric tilted his head slightly and looked at me. His gaze was different from before, so I nervously said,
“Cedric.”
“Why, are you going to say I disgust you?”
His words made me feel sick inside.
“Don’t say that.”
“Then I’m really curious why you took those birth control pills.”
Cedric still smiled. His bright blue eyes took me in completely. His lips twisted crookedly, but his gaze was deep like it would swallow me.
I didn’t want to say what he wanted to hear, but I thought telling the truth would make him understand.
“I didn’t want to be more involved with you.”
Cedric’s face tightened slightly, but I looked away and spoke carefully.
“I was happiest living in the temple in Yurhen, more than in Bestine Manor or your estate. At least there, I could truly smile and feel at ease.”
“So you felt it was better to be in such a miserable place than beside me?”
His words were cold and sharp. I nodded without looking at him. I heard him chuckle softly.
“Have you forgotten all the good things I did for you?”
I couldn’t answer that. What Cedric did for me was his best in his own way. I just didn’t like the people in Cedric’s world—Simo, Herder, Selena, and others.
When I stayed silent, he turned my chin back to him and said,
“Revril, answer me.”
I met his bright blue eyes. If I didn’t say something, he seemed like he wouldn’t let me go. I barely controlled my trembling voice and said,
“I was happy.”
By then, I wished Cedric would just let me go. I quickly told him,
“So please let me go. You can live without me without any stain. There’s no need to be tied together again…”
Cedric chuckled and unbuttoned his shirt.
“The stain started from the moment you were born.”
I was speechless. Cedric looked at me calmly and murmured,
“I told you. I was cursed from birth.”
“…”
“My own family already called me a monster. What stain would it be if you were with me?”
“Cedric, still…”
Cedric pressed his thigh against mine and exhaled. I moved my leg in surprise, but he raised his head and stared at me.
“When you got the reaction disorder, I wanted your child too.”
My heart twisted. Looking at his hard face, Cedric kept his gaze on me and said,
“Sometimes I regret it. When you said you wanted me, I should have obeyed and not held back.”
Cedric looked at me quietly.
“You don’t want me anymore, do you?”
I just sighed and stared. Cedric chuckled softly.
“But you didn’t say no.”
Soon his lips touched mine. His breath collided with mine, leaving no space to breathe. Hoping this would be the last time he wanted me, I fell into the abyss.
On the day of the banquet, I was quite distracted. Vincent had a fever since morning and was feeling very unwell. I had never seen Vincent sick before, so I worried even more.
The doctor said he would get better soon and gave medicine. Even with those words, I still worried. The maid carefully wiped Vincent’s body with a wet cloth. Feeling useless, I approached the maid.
“I’ll do it.”
The maid was startled and shook her hand.
“No, my lady. I’ll do it.”
“No, give it here.”
The maid didn’t easily give me the white cloth. She glanced at me nervously and looked awkward.
At that moment, the door suddenly opened. The doctor and the maid bowed their heads quickly. Cedric came up to me at once. When he saw the maid, she immediately gave the white cloth to me.
“Revril.”
Without looking at Cedric, I wiped Vincent’s body with the cloth. Vincent’s body was so hot, it was the first time. I felt tears well up but tried to hold them back, hoping the fever would go down.
“Leave it to the maid and prepare for the banquet.”
I clenched the cloth tightly and said,
“Vincent is sick. Do I really have to go to the banquet?”
“The doctor said the medicine will work. And the doctor and maid will take good care of him.”
“But I…”
“Do you think Vincent will get better just because you are there?”
His sharp words made me speechless. It was true, but it hurt inside. I resented Cedric, feeling as if Vincent’s illness was all his fault.
When I was in the temple in Yurhen, I never felt this sorry for Vincent. At least then, I was with Vincent and shared everything.
I just kept crying, and Cedric sighed. He looked at me and said calmly,
“Didn’t you hear? At this age, sometimes kids get fevers.”
He said it so lightly, without worry. I felt like I was the only one truly worried about Vincent, so I looked at him and said,
“Aren’t you worried?”
Suddenly it became quiet around us. Cedric’s bright blue eyes stared at me persistently. His piercing gaze made my heart ache. It felt like I finally admitted something I hadn’t before. I quickly turned my head and wiped my tears, but Cedric didn’t take his eyes off me.
“I am worried.”
His voice was low and deep. When I looked up, he looked at me and said calmly,
“He’s our child.”
I had nothing more to say. I had already told him who Vincent’s child was.
