Chapter 85
Jeonghyeok pulled Yuwon’s arm and made him lie down next to him. As the small body obediently came into his embrace, satisfaction filled him to the point his chest felt tight.
“From now on, speak casually to me. Okay?”
When he spoke coaxingly, Yuwon gave an embarrassed smile.
“How can I suddenly do that? It’s too awkward, I can’t.”
“What’s there to be awkward about?”
What’s the big deal about speaking casually? Jeonghyeok muttered while pulling Yuwon deeper into his arms.
If it were up to him, he wanted to change the title “ajeossi” too. He just couldn’t bring himself to ask due to his guilty conscience, but he hoped Yuwon would call him “hyung” intimately, or at least call him by his name.
Come to think of it, on the day they first ate jjajangmyeon, Yuwon had wanted to call him “Jeonghyeok-ssi.” It was none other than himself who had been shocked and insisted on the title “ajeossi.”
I dug my own grave. Jeonghyeok, who had been silently blaming himself, soon changed his thoughts.
What’s the point of regretting what’s already past? I just need to change from now on. I need to work so that Yuwon can feel more comfortable with me than now. So comfortable and natural that he can’t even imagine breaking up.
Though he had succeeded in turning Yuwon’s heart around with his tearful confession, he didn’t know how long this peace would last. He didn’t know when his heart might change again and he’d shout that he hated it, was sick of it, and wanted to break up.
He needed strong affection, not sympathy or pity. Just as he couldn’t live without Yuwon, he wanted Yuwon to yearn for and thirst for him just as much. But Jeonghyeok didn’t know exactly how to completely turn Yuwon’s heart to him. Having never tried to win someone’s heart before, he was only clumsy in this area.
Jeonghyeok carefully reached out and cupped Yuwon’s cheek. Looking down quietly at the face that fit cutely in his palm, he began to gently caress the face with his fingertips.
He passed over the flat forehead, stroking the straight eyebrows and eye area. He touched the round nose tip and nostrils.
The movement of gently caressing the soft skin was very careful. As if handling a fragile sculpture.
Though it was just touching his face, Jeonghyeok was newly moved. How long had it been since he was close to Yuwon like this? When he thought about it, it hadn’t been many days, but it felt like the distant past.
It’s all because of that day. The day he momentarily lost his reason and gave Yuwon an indelible wound. It’s because of how he acted like something worse than a beast.
When he recalled Yuwon’s face sobbing in pain, his chest sank with a thud. The pitiful whimpering voice seemed to echo in his ears, making Jeonghyeok clench his jaw.
He knew he shouldn’t touch Yuwon anymore, but he couldn’t suppress the desire to somehow get closer. Just a little, just a very little bit closer, he wanted to press their bodies together.
The fingertips that had been hesitating for so long finally touched his lips. As he slowly rubbed the plump flesh, Yuwon’s eyelashes trembled. Jeonghyeok’s breathing also became rough as he watched that trembling.
Yuwon slowly raised his eyes to look at Jeonghyeok. The man’s gaze looking at him was both fierce and desperate. The two contradictory emotions were violently colliding within his black pupils.
He wasn’t unaware of what that gaze meant. He also knew what he wanted as he densely caressed his lips.
Even knowing everything, he didn’t avoid Jeonghyeok’s touch. Though he was still afraid of physical contact, strangely he didn’t want to push Jeonghyeok away.
Yuwon closed his eyes. He felt hot breath right in front of his nose, and finally their lips came close enough to touch. That’s when it happened.
“Sorry.”
“……”
“Water…… I’ll get you some.”
Jeonghyeok, who had whispered quietly, suddenly moved away. He hurriedly got up and left the bedroom without looking back. Only Yuwon remained lying dazedly on the bed.
“Ha……”
Yuwon, who let out the breath he’d been holding, gripped the white sheets tightly. The heat that had seemed about to devour him just moments ago felt like a complete lie.
Honestly, he was still reluctant about their bodies overlapping, but a kiss would have been okay. If Jeonghyeok wanted it, he was thinking of allowing that much.
But Jeonghyeok had pulled away like he was fleeing before their lips even touched. His face as he said sorry, like someone who had committed some great wrong, looked darker than ever. Seeing that, Yuwon also felt uncomfortable.
He wasn’t unaware of why Jeonghyeok apologized. He probably wanted to apologize for that day’s events. Of course apologizing was the right thing to do. It would be stranger if he wasn’t sorry after doing such a thing.
But he didn’t like this kind of blind avoidance. Getting scared and distancing himself as if he had no right to touch him would ultimately just be another form of wound.
He had made the really difficult decision to stay by ajeossi’s side. Making that decision meaningless, it felt like an invisible wall had formed between ajeossi and himself. The wall looked so solid that he doubted whether it could be torn down.
Seeing Jeonghyeok enter through the door that opened with a click, Yuwon quickly sat up.
“Here, drink this.”
The moment Yuwon received the cup Jeonghyeok offered, he was a little surprised. The fingertips that brushed his were too hot.
Had he brought warm water? With a puzzled mind, he carefully sipped the water, but the temperature of the water that moistened his parched throat was only ice cold.
***
After somehow getting through the night in an awkward atmosphere, Yuwon opened his eyes to the sound of a vacuum cleaner coming from far away.
Rubbing his eyes and going outside, he saw Jeonghyeok running the vacuum in the dressing room. It was because of the dust that had fallen while organizing clothes.
“Are you already packing?”
Hearing Yuwon’s voice, Jeonghyeok stopped the vacuum and turned around.
“Just roughly sorting things out. Did you wake up because of the vacuum noise?”
Though he had indeed woken up because of the vacuum noise, Yuwon shook his head. It wasn’t something to say in front of someone who was cleaning instead of him.
Since being confined at home, Yuwon hadn’t done any housework at all. More precisely, Jeonghyeok didn’t let him do it.
Jeonghyeok always finished all the housework neatly before Yuwon woke up. The only thing Yuwon did was fold clothes together after taking them out of the finished dryer, but on days when Jeonghyeok got up early and did that work in advance, he couldn’t even do that.
Jeonghyeok also prepared meals. However, since he didn’t know how to cook, they ended up ordering delivery food or eating with ready-made foods.
Today’s breakfast menu was also a lunch box that Jeonghyeok had ordered. There was mixed grain rice and seaweed soup at the bottom, and six kinds of side dishes were packed tightly on top. The small cup that came with it even had fruit neatly packed in it, making it an excellent composition.
Yuwon, who sat at the dining table, unwrapped the lunch box and neatly arranged the utensils. When Jeonghyeok, who had finished organizing the dressing room, also sat at the dining table, the meal began.
Yuwon, who had been diligently moving his chopsticks, pondered something deeply and finally opened his mouth.
“Ajeossi, you know.”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll make dinner today.”
“Suddenly?”
“We’ve been eating out every day lately. I wanted to eat something I made for once.”
Once or twice was okay, but eating outside food every time got a bit tiresome. Having not eaten out often since childhood and being used to always eating home-cooked food made it seem even more so.
But Jeonghyeok, who heard Yuwon’s words, had a face that wasn’t pleased at all.
“……Wouldn’t it be better to just rest for now?”
Jeonghyeok treated Yuwon like a patient. Of course, since he was the one who had made him that way, it was understandable that he wanted to take special care of him, but from Yuwon’s perspective, it was overprotection. The wound had almost healed now, and there was no major problem with daily life.
“I can do something like making food. Rather, it’s a bit frustrating doing nothing. Ajeossi likes the food I make too. Don’t you want to eat it gradually?”
When he spoke with a subtle mix of aegyo, Jeonghyeok froze for a moment. Yuwon deliberately opened his eyes wide and drove the point home.
“I won’t overdo it, so let’s stop ordering food now, okay?”
When he used a sweet voice, Jeonghyeok’s expression also softened a little. From the beginning, when Yuwon opened his rabbit eyes and used a gentle voice, Jeonghyeok had no choice but to grant that request.
“Then I’ll order the ingredients, so start from tomorrow.”
As if he had lost, he laughed and answered, and Yuwon didn’t miss that moment and added one more thing.
“I want to go to the mart for the first time in a while. Can’t we go out together?”
“……”
“Let’s not go far, just to the one in front of the house.”
Yuwon said while putting his meat side dish on top of Jeonghyeok’s rice.
Trust me a little now. I won’t run away. I’ll stay by ajeossi’s side. Constantly speaking with his eyes, he looked at Jeonghyeok.
Jeonghyeok, who had been looking into Yuwon’s eyes for a while, finally lowered his gaze and answered in a low voice.
“Alright, then.”
As soon as the words of permission fell, Yuwon inwardly cheered. It was his first outing in a week.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
