Our Youth 78

#078

Today’s Jiwoon was a bit strange. He was different from usual. The way he casually increased physical contact and said he would live together as Yechan wanted was unfamiliar.

Honestly, it would be a lie to say he wasn’t happy about it. But it wasn’t enough.

Why? Anxiety and suspicion swirled inside Yechan. When was all that talk about sincerity, and now you’re trying to play with me again?

Yechan recalled Jiwoon’s jealousy. Too precious to give to others but somewhat reluctant to have for himself, something like that?

The familiar lightness he had forgotten about until now was evident in each of Jiwoon’s actions. It seemed like Jiwoon had become actively engaged in playing with him due to jealousy.

Yechan felt that through the crack in Jiwoon’s wall, not only light but also fluttering wind was seeping in together.

The dark evening road was congested. Yechan slowly released the tension from his fists as he watched the red lights of the car ahead shining particularly bright against the black background.

…But so what if that was the case? Yechan would be fine even if Jiwoon treated him like a toy again. He was willing to play along with Jiwoon.

If he could avoid losing Lee Jiwoon, if he could just keep him by his side, nothing else mattered. Even if he ran away, even if he hid somewhere, Yechan would find Jiwoon somehow.

I have to keep him by my side. I’ll be with him until the end. Even if it means dying.

Yechan’s eyes darkened gloomily at just the imagination. It would be better to die than to lose his brilliant first love again.

For a moment, Yechan imagined filling Jiwoon’s entire body with himself. But that was all.

He couldn’t move rashly and scare Jiwoon. Yechan swallowed the sound in his mouth and admonished himself once more. Slowly. Seo Yechan, slowly.

After closing his eyes briefly and opening them, Yechan thought for a long time about water drops falling one by one.

* * *

“It was supposed to be a study, but I hardly used it. It should be fine to use.”

“It’s clean.”

Yechan was using the master bedroom among the three rooms. Jiwoon looked around the not-small room. The room with fairly luxurious built-in closets and a desk was good because it showed no signs of use.

While Jiwoon opened his suitcase and organized his belongings, Yechan swept and cleaned here and there.

“It looks proper.”

“Now it feels more like a home where people live.”

Yechan grinned as he looked at Jiwoon’s cosmetics and accessories that had gone up on the storage cabinet, and the laptop and books on the desk. He was proud of Jiwoon’s space set up in a corner of his house.

Jiwoon, who had roughly finished organizing, pushed his suitcase to one side.

“I think we need to buy a bed… If you have one you’ve been looking at, I’ll order it.”

“I’m going to sleep with you though?”

Jiwoon, who had gotten up from his seat, said as if it was obvious. For a moment, ambivalent feelings rushed into Yechan.

He both liked and disliked Jiwoon for answering like this. He was both pretty and hateful.

But as always, one thing was certain. Yechan wanted Jiwoon. He wanted to touch him right now.

“…Can I kiss you?”

Yechan, who had narrowed the distance with Jiwoon, made eye contact and asked. Seeing those eyes that seemed to be boiling over, Jiwoon raised the corner of his mouth.

“No. Go wash up and study.”

Jiwoon, who had stepped back to avoid Yechan, disappeared outside the room. Only after hearing the bathroom door close did Yechan let out a hollow laugh. He really couldn’t understand what was inside Jiwoon.

After washing up, Yechan headed to Jiwoon’s room. Through the open door, he could see a concentrated white face.

Perhaps sensing someone’s presence, Jiwoon spoke without taking his eyes off his book.

“What time are you going to sleep?”

“Well. Twelve o’clock?”

“I’ll come then. Study.”

“Can’t I do it here?”

“Do as you like.”

At the lukewarm permission, Yechan brought his bag and a small table. His hands moved quickly as he sat on the floor, put on his glasses, and wrote a midterm substitute report.

After outlining and writing a first draft like that, it was already midnight. Yechan, who had taken off his glasses, rubbed his forehead.

Just then, Jiwoon also closed his laptop.

“Let’s sleep.”

“Hyung, you really look sleepy.”

“I’m sleepy. I feel like I’m going to die.”

Jiwoon’s eyelids were slightly drooping. His firm calves showed below his shorts as he trudged to Yechan’s room and collapsed onto the bed.

Yechan, who had been scanning the white legs with his eyes, turned off the lights.

The bedroom with only the mood lighting on was cozy. Jiwoon burrowed into the blankets while keeping his body straight. Yechan lay down beside him and recalled their high school days.

There was a time when they studied together frantically and fell asleep together. Since they met again, except for when they were having sex, Jiwoon rarely spent time in this house.

It felt like he had regained a long-ago daily routine, making his insides keep churning. Yechan, who had held back tears by biting the inside of his mouth, let out a long breath.

“Yechan-ah.”

Jiwoon moved his body. His broad, straight shoulders touched Yechan’s firm shoulders.

His heart throbbed for a moment. Countless days of watching young Yechan’s sleeping face flashed through his mind.

Though they had fallen asleep together many times, such a night was all too rare. I love you. Jiwoon swallowed the words that came up naturally and offered a good night greeting.

“Good night.”

“…You too, hyung.”

Yechan answered quietly. Only after hearing Jiwoon’s wheezing breathing did Yechan turn off the mood lighting.

Thanks to his habit of waking up early to exercise in the morning, Jiwoon, who had woken up early, was admiring the face of Yechan, who was still sleeping.

What exercise, this is exercise. He could feel his heart pounding rapidly.

After appreciating Yechan’s eyebrow bone and nose bridge that looked like white sculptures, and his clear skin for a while, time had flown by. He would have to get up soon to go to school.

Should I or shouldn’t I? Ah… I can’t hold back.

After hesitating for a moment, Jiwoon gave Yechan’s forehead a peck. Without stopping, Jiwoon made pecking sounds on his closed eyes and cheeks, and even lightly bit his lower lip before pulling away.

Yechan, who had slightly frowned each time lips touched him, opened his eyes with a flash. His eyelids, still drunk with sleep, blinked slowly.

Fucking cute. At the tingling sensation spreading to his ear tips, Jiwoon tightly hugged Yechan’s head.

“Yechan-ah. Wake up.”

“…Hyung.”

His tightly locked voice was sexy. Jiwoon kissed the soft hair touching his chin and asked.

Yechan unknowingly drew in a breath. Good, so good. I’m happy. Something warm was spreading from his heart throughout his entire body.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes… How about you, hyung?”

“I slept well.”

Yechan raised his arms and pulled Jiwoon’s waist toward him.

His heart was too hot. He wanted to touch more. He wanted to entangle Jiwoon like this and become one with him.

Jiwoon, startled by Yechan naturally rubbing his head against his chest and sliding between his legs, hurriedly loosened his arms and pulled his body away.

“No.”

“What?”

The disappeared body temperature was regrettable, but Jiwoon’s white face was right in front of him. Just that seemed to make Yechan’s heart feel tight.

Yechan asked with a slight smile in his sleepy eyes. At his cheeky smile, Jiwoon smiled back languidly.

“If you eat it every morning, you’ll get sick of it. Until exams are over, it’s only Friday evenings. Oppa.”

At Jiwoon’s words, Yechan closed his eyes again and frowned.

“What about weekends?”

“No.”

“Hyung!”

Yechan, who had opened his eyes wide, stretched out his arms to pull Jiwoon toward him. Jiwoon skillfully twisted and pulled his arms free, then slipped out of bed.

Yechan was a bit dumbfounded by that water-like movement. There were moments when it showed that Jiwoon had been someone who properly exercised, and this was exactly one of those times.

It was frustrating enough to regret not learning judo. In the end, Yechan had to blankly watch Jiwoon’s back as he left the room.

After finishing his shower sulkily, Yechan prepared breakfast. Jiwoon was the type to invest quite a bit of time in choosing clothes.

Jiwoon, who had put on a light orange loose-fit t-shirt with light jeans and fixed his hair, was truly radiant. Combined with his arrogant gaze, his characteristic rough and sharp feeling scattered messily over his small, white face.

At that strange atmosphere, Yechan, who had been running his tongue over the inside of his mouth, poured water into Jiwoon’s cup as he sat at the dining table.

Jiwoon covered his naturally rising lips with his water cup as he looked at Yechan, who was wearing a neat-fitting sky-blue t-shirt and looking at him with clear eyes.

Fucking handsome. Yechan’s face was neat and beautiful.

And because of that, it often stimulated various imaginations. Jiwoon, who had put down his water cup, gathered his gaze while picking up his spoon.

“What breakfast menu do you like?”

During high school, Jiwoon’s house had food prepared by an auntie, and Yechan’s house had food his mother had bought and left.

Unlike those days when they just ate what was given to them, now they had to prepare everything from one to ten themselves, but for Yechan now, that was more of an opportunity than trouble.

“I like everything.”

“Even things like pizza?”

“Yeah. But I can’t cook. Let’s buy and eat.”

“I’ll do it.”

“That’s great for me. Everything you make is delicious.”

“I’m honored.”

Yechan shrugged and put a spoonful of bean sprout soup in his mouth. Whether the clear soup suited his taste, Jiwoon was diligently moving his spoon.

That sight was somewhat surreal. Jiwoon, wearing a fresh vermillion t-shirt, had woken up in his house, was preparing to go to school, and was eating breakfast at his dining table.

Yechan thought everything from when he woke up until now felt like a dream.

“Did you take your medicine?”

Just before leaving the house, Jiwoon, standing at the entrance, asked Yechan.

“Yes.”

“Why don’t you take it at school?”

“I keep forgetting to pack it.”

“Pack it.”

“I packed it today.”

“What about the topical medicine?”

“I applied it after washing.”

“Tell me if it’s hard to apply.”

“Will you apply it for me?”