#047
“Jiwoon-jiwoon, the fact that you cried, was it because of Seo Yechan?”
Jukyung had been keeping Kyungjun’s words about being surprised that Jiwoon cried on the way home from school in his heart.
Lee Jiwoon suddenly sat down and cried? That would probably be a scene he’d never see again. Jukyung, who regretted making plans with his noona, was curious about the details.
Jiwoon just looked up at the sky without answering. Jukyung continued.
“So, have you sorted everything out now?”
Well. Would the day come when he could do all that? Jiwoon remained silent. And he looked into his own devastated interior.
It was dizzy. He missed Yechan so much. At the familiar rising pain, Jiwoon filled his lungs with cold air.
Finally, Jiwoon, who exhaled the pain with his breath, answered.
“No. But I think this much is enough.”
“Really?”
“My heart is mine to fold. I deliberately acted off-putting, so he’ll forget and live well too.”
“Huh? You think Seo Yechan will do that? Jiwoon-jiwoon, are you serious?”
Jukyung grinned slyly. His tone suggested he found it amusing. Jiwoon frowned and kicked Jukyung’s shin hard.
“Ah! It hurts. That’s too much.”
“He’s not a kid with so little backbone that he’d keep chasing after being completely ignored.”
“Is that so?”
Jukyung recalled the assault incident in the cafeteria and what happened on the rooftop. And he noticed that Jiwoon’s bad behavior had completely disappeared after that.
Ah, Jiwoon. Jukyung’s smile deepened.
“Seo Yechan has fucking strong pride. He’s smart too.”
“Yeah. He seems like that. That’s why I keep asking.”
“What are you saying?”
“Hmm…… Never mind. Well, if Jiwoon-jiwoon says so, then that’s how it is.”
Jukyung still had a grinning face.
It was natural. His king had an unexplored territory in front of him. Then he should just quietly watch over him. Jukyung, who had been giggling, nodded as if everything was fine.
“I’ll visit next year. Jiwoon-jiwoon, you have to meet us even if you don’t want to.”
Jiwoon kicked Jukyung’s shin once more. Even with his aching leg, the smile didn’t leave Jukyung’s face.
* * *
Friday, the day after the third-years finished the Suneung, was when the second-years had one year left until their Suneung. A solemn atmosphere flowed through the academy.
Yechan, who escaped from that suffocating air only late at night, sent a message to Jiwoon. He couldn’t concentrate at all because of thoughts of Jiwoon.
Me: Hyung, are you very busy?
Saturday, the academy quickly organized intensive courses. With intensive courses and self-study continuing throughout the weekend, Yechan had to spend his days like a hamster running on a wheel.
Cha Yewon, whom he briefly encountered, also looked haggard. Saying that from now on it was really hardcore studying, Yewon threw out words about sharing information well from now on and soon disappeared into the lecture room.
Me: Please give me just thirty minutes
Jiwoon still hadn’t read the messages. Yechan was about to burst with frustration.
Sunday night, Yechan sent his last message. He was planning to meet Jiwoon somehow tomorrow.
Me: I’m going to come find you tomorrow, hyung
And when Yechan went up to Jiwoon’s class as soon as the first period ended on Monday, he was greeted by Yoon Jukyung.
Jukyung had been watching the back door that had been open since morning. As soon as he saw Yechan, he smiled with his eyes crinkled and bounced out as if welcoming him.
“I knew you’d come, Jiwoon’s dongsaeng. Ah…… maybe not anymore?”
“Is Jiwoon hyung here?”
“No.”
“Where did he go?”
“Yeah.”
“Sunbae, I’m not joking around. Where is Jiwoon hyung right now?”
Yechan’s eyes looking at Jukyung were menacing. Jukyung smiled even brighter.
Look at this, Jiwoon. Jukyung led Yechan to a corner at the end of the hallway. And just before Yechan, who couldn’t stand it anymore, got angry, Jukyung opened his mouth.
“Why are you looking for Jiwoon?”
“I have something to say.”
“What?”
“Not to you, sunbae, I have something to say to Jiwoon hyung.”
“Oh. Are you going to hit me at this rate?”
“What’s stopping me from hitting you? Where is Jiwoon hyung?”
“You have a bet with me.”
“Why are you suddenly bringing that up? Ah, sunbae. Stop going around in circles……”
“That, I think I lost, so I’ll tell you. If I just tell you, I think I’ll get in trouble later too.”
Jukyung cut off Yechan’s rising voice and continued cheerfully. Yechan’s eyes, who had closed his mouth, were glaring at Jukyung fiercely.
Jukyung said while pressing down the corners of his mouth that kept trying to rise.
“Jiwoon is in England right now.”
At Jukyung’s words, Yechan made an expression as if he had been punched.
This is so fun, what should I do? Jukyung exhaled once more and pulled down the corners of his mouth. At this rate, he really might get bruised somewhere.
“I don’t know when he’ll come back. Even when he comes back, he said he’ll go straight to the military. We can’t contact him right now either. I heard he’ll be really busy there.”
Originally Jiwoon-jiwoon doesn’t stay in touch well, and he’d actually be busy if he interns at his dad’s company, so whatever. Jukyung, who lied nonchalantly, scrutinized Yechan’s face thoroughly.
His straight brow furrowed in an instant. His broad chest rose and fell rapidly.
Ooh. While Jukyung was admiring the quite fierce expression, Yechan asked.
“Did Jiwoon hyung do well on the Suneung?”
“Ah…… I don’t know. I didn’t hear.”
Jiwoon had said Yechan was smart. He actually was. Look at that. Even though he was shocked enough to have his hands trembling, Jukyung became a bit satisfied with the question that hit right to the core.
Still, he couldn’t tell him this. Actually, Yoon Jukyung was still not satisfied with Seo Yechan. Especially those unfathomable eyes. He couldn’t gauge whether he would be poison or benefit to his king.
Moreover, Jukyung was quite the type to hold grudges. Thinking about what happened during the summer trip and the festival day, he still found Seo Yechan quite detestable. So he planned not to tell him the important things.
“……Is Jiwoon hyung sick somewhere? Is it true that he cried on the way home?”
“I didn’t see that either, so no comment. He doesn’t seem to be sick anywhere though. He drank with us that day.”
Jukyung, who had raised his hand, swept back his bangs. The bracelet on his wrist jingled. Yechan’s eyes briefly stayed on Jukyung’s wrist.
At the increasingly fierce gaze, Jukyung couldn’t help but laugh.
“The bet, I lost it right? I paid the price?”
Yechan, who ignored Jukyung’s incomprehensible words, was absorbed in thoughts about Jiwoon. His fists were clenched so hard that veins stood out.
Watching that, Jukyung said this was all he could tell him, patted Yechan’s shoulder, and grinned. Then he immediately returned to the classroom.
Yechan stood there as if nailed to the spot for a long time. Even after returning to the classroom when the bell rang, his head was full of thoughts of Jiwoon.
Yechan, who kept biting his lips without caring that blood was forming, eventually muttered a quiet curse.
Fuck. He couldn’t sit still without cursing. He wanted to go to Lee Jiwoon’s house right now and ring the bell.
After the second period ended, Seungwoo came to find Yechan hesitantly. A shopping bag suddenly entered the vision of Yechan, who was lost in thought while doodling in his notebook.
Only then did Yechan realize that Seungwoo had been calling him the whole time.
“I got this when I met Jiwoon hyung last Friday.”
At Jiwoon’s name coming from Seungwoo’s mouth, Yechan’s eyes flashed. Seeing Yechan’s expression, Seungwoo frowned.
“But why is your face like that? You look like you killed someone and came back.”
“Keep talking.”
“Huh?”
“You got it, and then what?”
“Ah…… I got it on Friday, but he told me not to tell you and wait until Monday to give it to you. Jiwoon hyung did.”
Yechan snatched the shopping bag from Seungwoo’s hands and poured the contents onto his desk.
He immediately picked up a notebook. As he flipped through the pages, Jiwoon’s familiar handwriting filled his vision densely with each turn. His heart beat like crazy. Blood burst from his tightly bitten lips.
Each time he opened a book, Yechan’s expression visibly crumbled. Soon after checking all five books, Yechan discovered a box lying on the edge of his desk.
It was a familiar case. He couldn’t not know it since it was something he had bought. As he bit his bleeding lips once more and opened the case, a white watch in perfect new condition came into view.
Yechan lowered his head and breathed roughly. Lee Jiwoon, Lee Jiwoon, Lee Jiwoon.
Seungwoo, who had turned pale, looked at Taehyun. Taehyun, who was watching Yechan, exchanged glances with Minho and gestured toward the back door with his chin while frowning at Seungwoo.
Just as Seungwoo, who roughly understood the meaning of that action, was about to leave saying he’d go, Yechan asked.
“Didn’t he say anything else?”
“Huh?”
“Besides telling you to give me this, did he say anything else?”
“Uh…… That day he told me to eat that British jelly. Ah, when I said you seemed to be in bad condition lately and asked if hyung couldn’t give it directly……”
Yechan, who had snapped his head up, looked at Seungwoo as if urging him to answer. Seungwoo thought he was going to die from the fierce gaze cutting off his breath and barely managed to speak.
“He said he didn’t want to……”
“Didn’t want to.”
“To be exact, he said ‘I don’t want to.'”
“Ha……”
Yechan laughed. Seungwoo easily discovered the moisture in Yechan’s laughing eyes. An intuition that he shouldn’t stay here any longer swept through his body.
Seungwoo hastily said that was everything and returned to his class.
Yechan, grinding his teeth, carefully organized the books and watch Jiwoon had given him and packed them in his bag. In the place where the books had been cleared, his notebook that he had been doodling in lay open.
After looking at the notebook for a while, Yechan tore out the page he had been writing on and roughly crumpled the paper. The handwriting as he wrote down a new notebook was neat, unlike his completely distorted face. It was exactly that handwriting that Jiwoon had liked.
Yechan tore up several more pages of the notebook. Then he slumped in his chair and stared at the empty notebook.
Ah, everything was a mess.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
