#102
In the game, the Duke and Mujin were defeated by Iria’s hands, but was that really all there was to it? Perhaps the Duke pretended to be a villain to rescue Mujin. And after faking his death, he went into hiding with Mujin. The first thing the Duke did when he revealed the sword in this country was to stab Andelion. So that’s why Andelion’s mixed demon and human heritage wasn’t discovered.
If I hadn’t been here, perhaps Iria and Persis would also…
[ANDELION!!]
Suddenly, I heard a voice striking my head forcefully. The voice, amplified several times louder than usual, made my vision blur.
[SNAP OUT OF IT!!]
I couldn’t understand Mujin’s words. Then I suddenly noticed that mana from my body had spread throughout the room like a spider’s web. One wrong move and it could turn everything into a mess. It would be fortunate if it ended in this room. The mana that had seeped into the walls could potentially spread throughout the entire building and bring everything down.
I swallowed hard and slowly reached out toward the mana. As soon as I touched it, I could feel the mana striking back forcefully, rejecting me. Perhaps the reason mana was rejecting me so strongly was…
Because I’m not Andelion.
At that moment, the mana surged even more violently. The mana that had been spreading in all directions suddenly gathered into my body.
[ANDELION!!]
I heard Mujin’s voice, almost like a scream.
In an instant, my vision turned red. I wanted to tell Mujin I was fine, but my mouth wouldn’t open. By now, the mana had entered my throat and once again filled me completely. Much more intense and enlarged than what I usually felt, the mana moved violently as if it would burst my body.
“Kugh.”
I narrowed my eyes as I struggled to breathe properly. Mujin had said it. Mana is essentially myself. The emotions and thoughts I wanted to hide, all of them materialized and moving—that was no different from mana. He said that the more deeply you understand yourself, the stronger your ability to control mana becomes.
Then this mana, moving as if it doesn’t want to leave me alone, as if it wants to destroy me—this too is me.
The self-destructive impulse to eliminate the powerless me who can’t do anything.
The frustration toward myself for not acting independently, just going with the flow according to the situation.
And… I could see my desire sinking within it. While claiming to care for others… while saying I want Iria’s happy ending… the desire that had been coiled deep inside, growing bit by bit for a very long time, raised its head and met my gaze.
My outstretched hand grasped the mana that was trying to devour me. Then I forcefully slammed my hand downward. I don’t know where such strength came from, but I heard the sound of the bed breaking as it collided with my fist. I rose to my feet, gathered the mana more strongly under my hand, and gripped it as if to crush it.
“Kill it.”
Kill the emotion. Don’t come out carelessly. Stay right there. You shouldn’t come out from there. Kill the emotion, bow your head, hold your breath, and stay as if you don’t exist. And if you disappear, that’s good. You might as well not exist.
[Andelion?]
Mujin was right. Mana is me. I finally understood why it wouldn’t listen to me. I don’t really like myself. I’m indecisive, I can’t do much, and I’m full of shortcomings compared to those around me.
Moreover, lately I’ve felt like I’m becoming a burden to others, which has intensified those feelings. So how could mana follow my commands?
I waited until the mana I had tightly gripped became small enough to fit in my palm. Only then did the rampaging mana gradually lose its strength and slowly absorb into my body. The mana, which previously required intense concentration to perceive, could now be felt flowing along my fingertips. Things had definitely changed.
Not all of my confused thoughts were sorted out, but I knew one thing for certain.
“I’m okay.”
I stood up, dusting myself off, and smiled at Mujin.
“I think I understand a little bit about how to use this.”
I extended my palm and lifted the mana flowing through my body into the air. Though the red mana bristled with sharp spines as if displeased, it was moving according to my will.
I realized that I needed to kill—no, suppress—more of myself. I needed to kill and suppress myself to reach our “happy ending.”
* * *
The mana I created became an arrow and pierced straight into the tree. The arrow penetrated through the tree and traveled far away.
Yaksi stood with her mouth wide open, staring at the tree that had been reduced to tatters. The tree, with a hole in its base, gradually tilted sideways before falling over completely.
[How is it?]
After I had somewhat grasped how to use mana last night, Mujin put me to bed. Somehow, he restored the broken bed to its original state with some kind of magic. Though I said I couldn’t sleep several times, Mujin urged me to go to bed, ignoring my protests. In the end, I forcibly closed my eyes and endured until I fell asleep last night.
As soon as morning came, Mujin suggested we find Yaksi.
Once Yaksi created an environment where I could freely use mana, Mujin told me to try using it. And now Yaksi was staring at the scene I had created, unable to close her mouth.
“What is this?”
[Yes.]
I couldn’t understand why the two of them were so surprised. Wondering if I had done something wrong, I cautiously observed their reactions.
Stroking her chin in deep thought, Yaksi turned to look at me.
“How does it feel when you move the mana?”
“Pardon?”
“Do you feel any strain or sense of conflict with the magic power inside you?”
I shook my head. To begin with, I didn’t have much magic power, and unlike mana, I was confident in handling magic power.
[Is there no chance of conflict between mana and magic power?]
“No. I think that should be fine.”
I couldn’t join in the serious conversation between the two of them. I kept quiet like a mouse and waited for them to reach a conclusion.
After discussing various scenarios, Yaksi then asked me to draw a magic formation and infuse it with mana. I nodded and slowly drew a magic formation on the ground. Mujin hadn’t taught me many formations, so what I was drawing now was the binding magic I usually practiced.
I breathed mana into the intricate magic formation I had drawn. At first, the mana struggled and resisted, but eventually it moved along the formation according to my will. The red mana spread like blood into the grooves etched on the floor. Afterward, the binding magic that emerged from the brightly glowing formation stretched wildly into the air. However, unable to find a target, the magic disappeared without capturing anything.
I hadn’t expected it to succeed so easily. Yet I didn’t feel a sense of achievement or satisfaction at finally being able to control mana. After clearly understanding what mana was, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t been able to handle it until now. Mujin was right. Mana is “me.” How could I not move myself?
“Ha, this is no ordinary binding magic.”
Yaksi whispered, looking at the few remaining traces of magic with a serious face. Somehow, the atmosphere emanating from Yaksi and Mujin didn’t seem ordinary.
“What exactly happened yesterday?”
“The mana suddenly went berserk.”
“Berserk!?”
Startled by my words, Yaksi shouted loudly. Yesterday was definitely a life-or-death situation. There was no urgent situation or major incident like in the Imperial Palace, yet the mana suddenly surged. Since even the reason was unknown, both Mujin and Yaksi must have been bewildered.
It was fortunate that I could now control the mana; otherwise, a major explosion could have occurred. Though I might have saved my life thanks to the artifact given by the Duke, I’m not sure if the other dormitory residents would have been so lucky.
It was truly lucky.
[Do you understand now?]
“For now, he’s controlling the mana itself properly. The problem is that it suddenly went berserk. Since such an incident could happen again anytime, it’s important to find out the exact reason. The best approach would be to seclude him in the Duke’s residence until we can accurately understand the situation…”
[That’s impossible.]
“I suppose so.”
Just behaving differently from usual could attract the Imperial Palace’s attention. The situation hadn’t improved just because I had learned to handle mana properly. In the end, I remained powerless as before. For a moment, the mana surged and thrashed again, but I easily suppressed it and drove it deep into my heart. Despite not having done it many times, it felt as familiar as if I had been doing it all along.
“Then let’s try using magic power this time.”
“Do we really have to use magic power?”
Yaksi frowned slightly, seemingly not understanding my words. I thought it would be better to show through action rather than explain verbally. I infused mana into the magic I was about to use. An arrow materialized in the air. It flew lightly and embedded itself next to the tree I had just knocked down.
The moment the red arrow struck with a loud sound, Yaksi walked forward in a daze. The arrow, created using mana, crumbled and disappeared.
“This is, just…”
“It’s not as precise as magic power, but I found I can use it in a similar way.”
Watching the magic I had used, Yaksi covered her mouth with her hand and fell into thought. She seemed to be considering the magic I had just used and its potential dangers in the future.
# Chapter 102
In the game, the Duke and Mujin were defeated by Iria’s hands, but was that really all there was to it? Perhaps the Duke pretended to be a villain to rescue Mujin. And after faking his death, he went into hiding with Mujin. The first thing the Duke did when he revealed the sword in this country was to stab Andelion. So that’s why Andelion’s mixed demon and human heritage wasn’t discovered.
If I hadn’t been here, perhaps Iria and Persis would also…
[ANDELION!!]
Suddenly, I heard a voice striking my head forcefully. The voice, amplified several times louder than usual, made my vision blur.
[SNAP OUT OF IT!!]
I couldn’t understand Mujin’s words. Then I suddenly noticed that mana from my body had spread throughout the room like a spider’s web. One wrong move and it could turn everything into a mess. It would be fortunate if it ended in this room. The mana that had seeped into the walls could potentially spread throughout the entire building and bring everything down.
I swallowed hard and slowly reached out toward the mana. As soon as I touched it, I could feel the mana striking back forcefully, rejecting me. Perhaps the reason mana was rejecting me so strongly was…
Because I’m not Andelion.
At that moment, the mana surged even more violently. The mana that had been spreading in all directions suddenly gathered into my body.
[ANDELION!!]
I heard Mujin’s voice, almost like a scream.
In an instant, my vision turned red. I wanted to tell Mujin I was fine, but my mouth wouldn’t open. By now, the mana had entered my throat and once again filled me completely. Much more intense and enlarged than what I usually felt, the mana moved violently as if it would burst my body.
“Kugh.”
I narrowed my eyes as I struggled to breathe properly. Mujin had said it. Mana is essentially myself. The emotions and thoughts I wanted to hide, all of them materialized and moving—that was no different from mana. He said that the more deeply you understand yourself, the stronger your ability to control mana becomes.
Then this mana, moving as if it doesn’t want to leave me alone, as if it wants to destroy me—this too is me.
The self-destructive impulse to eliminate the powerless me who can’t do anything.
The frustration toward myself for not acting independently, just going with the flow according to the situation.
And… I could see my desire sinking within it. While claiming to care for others… while saying I want Iria’s happy ending… the desire that had been coiled deep inside, growing bit by bit for a very long time, raised its head and met my gaze.
My outstretched hand grasped the mana that was trying to devour me. Then I forcefully slammed my hand downward. I don’t know where such strength came from, but I heard the sound of the bed breaking as it collided with my fist. I rose to my feet, gathered the mana more strongly under my hand, and gripped it as if to crush it.
“Kill it.”
Kill the emotion. Don’t come out carelessly. Stay right there. You shouldn’t come out from there. Kill the emotion, bow your head, hold your breath, and stay as if you don’t exist. And if you disappear, that’s good. You might as well not exist.
[Andelion?]
Mujin was right. Mana is me. I finally understood why it wouldn’t listen to me. I don’t really like myself. I’m indecisive, I can’t do much, and I’m full of shortcomings compared to those around me.
Moreover, lately I’ve felt like I’m becoming a burden to others, which has intensified those feelings. So how could mana follow my commands?
I waited until the mana I had tightly gripped became small enough to fit in my palm. Only then did the rampaging mana gradually lose its strength and slowly absorb into my body. The mana, which previously required intense concentration to perceive, could now be felt flowing along my fingertips. Things had definitely changed.
Not all of my confused thoughts were sorted out, but I knew one thing for certain.
“I’m okay.”
I stood up, dusting myself off, and smiled at Mujin.
“I think I understand a little bit about how to use this.”
I extended my palm and lifted the mana flowing through my body into the air. Though the red mana bristled with sharp spines as if displeased, it was moving according to my will.
I realized that I needed to kill—no, suppress—more of myself. I needed to kill and suppress myself to reach our “happy ending.”
* * *
The mana I created became an arrow and pierced straight into the tree. The arrow penetrated through the tree and traveled far away.
Yaksi stood with her mouth wide open, staring at the tree that had been reduced to tatters. The tree, with a hole in its base, gradually tilted sideways before falling over completely.
[How is it?]
After I had somewhat grasped how to use mana last night, Mujin put me to bed. Somehow, he restored the broken bed to its original state with some kind of magic. Though I said I couldn’t sleep several times, Mujin urged me to go to bed, ignoring my protests. In the end, I forcibly closed my eyes and endured until I fell asleep last night.
As soon as morning came, Mujin suggested we find Yaksi.
Once Yaksi created an environment where I could freely use mana, Mujin told me to try using it. And now Yaksi was staring at the scene I had created, unable to close her mouth.
“What is this?”
[Yes.]
I couldn’t understand why the two of them were so surprised. Wondering if I had done something wrong, I cautiously observed their reactions.
Stroking her chin in deep thought, Yaksi turned to look at me.
“How does it feel when you move the mana?”
“Pardon?”
“Do you feel any strain or sense of conflict with the magic power inside you?”
I shook my head. To begin with, I didn’t have much magic power, and unlike mana, I was confident in handling magic power.
[Is there no chance of conflict between mana and magic power?]
“No. I think that should be fine.”
I couldn’t join in the serious conversation between the two of them. I kept quiet like a mouse and waited for them to reach a conclusion.
After discussing various scenarios, Yaksi then asked me to draw a magic formation and infuse it with mana. I nodded and slowly drew a magic formation on the ground. Mujin hadn’t taught me many formations, so what I was drawing now was the binding magic I usually practiced.
I breathed mana into the intricate magic formation I had drawn. At first, the mana struggled and resisted, but eventually it moved along the formation according to my will. The red mana spread like blood into the grooves etched on the floor. Afterward, the binding magic that emerged from the brightly glowing formation stretched wildly into the air. However, unable to find a target, the magic disappeared without capturing anything.
I hadn’t expected it to succeed so easily. Yet I didn’t feel a sense of achievement or satisfaction at finally being able to control mana. After clearly understanding what mana was, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t been able to handle it until now. Mujin was right. Mana is “me.” How could I not move myself?
“Ha, this is no ordinary binding magic.”
Yaksi whispered, looking at the few remaining traces of magic with a serious face. Somehow, the atmosphere emanating from Yaksi and Mujin didn’t seem ordinary.
“What exactly happened yesterday?”
“The mana suddenly went berserk.”
“Berserk!?”
Startled by my words, Yaksi shouted loudly. Yesterday was definitely a life-or-death situation. There was no urgent situation or major incident like in the Imperial Palace, yet the mana suddenly surged. Since even the reason was unknown, both Mujin and Yaksi must have been bewildered.
It was fortunate that I could now control the mana; otherwise, a major explosion could have occurred. Though I might have saved my life thanks to the artifact given by the Duke, I’m not sure if the other dormitory residents would have been so lucky.
It was truly lucky.
[Do you understand now?]
“For now, he’s controlling the mana itself properly. The problem is that it suddenly went berserk. Since such an incident could happen again anytime, it’s important to find out the exact reason. The best approach would be to seclude him in the Duke’s residence until we can accurately understand the situation…”
[That’s impossible.]
“I suppose so.”
Just behaving differently from usual could attract the Imperial Palace’s attention. The situation hadn’t improved just because I had learned to handle mana properly. In the end, I remained powerless as before. For a moment, the mana surged and thrashed again, but I easily suppressed it and drove it deep into my heart. Despite not having done it many times, it felt as familiar as if I had been doing it all along.
“Then let’s try using magic power this time.”
“Do we really have to use magic power?”
Yaksi frowned slightly, seemingly not understanding my words. I thought it would be better to show through action rather than explain verbally. I infused mana into the magic I was about to use. An arrow materialized in the air. It flew lightly and embedded itself next to the tree I had just knocked down.
The moment the red arrow struck with a loud sound, Yaksi walked forward in a daze. The arrow, created using mana, crumbled and disappeared.
“This is, just…”
“It’s not as precise as magic power, but I found I can use it in a similar way.”
Watching the magic I had used, Yaksi covered her mouth with her hand and fell into thought. She seemed to be considering the magic I had just used and its potential dangers in the future.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
